Board Thread:Survivor: Sumbawa (Season 19)/@comment-27051444-20160901184942/@comment-27761891-20160902020802

Okay, so I'm going to start off with the apology, and I'll post another response later with the comparisons (which honesltly might not be very good simply bc I didn't get to know all of you like I wish I had adhdjsk).

Like Andy pointed out, it's really bad when you have to apologize for your game and how you treated others in it, but it's what I have to do. I know it. Y'all have opened my eyes to what kind of monster I was, and I am truly sorry for how I acted. Normally, I like to be known for being bubbly and shoving my nice-ness down people's throat to the point where I apologize ONLY out of fear that I am annoying the person. In fact, most people usually find me to be nice but question it as fakeness. In this game, none of you had to question that because I was just an asshole, and I now have opened my eyes to it. I am really sorry for the way I conducted myself in this game. It was wrong of me to have been the way I was, and you are totally right.

Specifically, I'd like to apologize to Dani, Jess (who I know has left the jury, but deserves an apology anyway), Zak, Ash (even though we aren't on good terms...), Josephine, CJ, and PJ.

I'll start with Dani. Honestly, the thing that strained out relationship the most was the plan to target you at the final 7. Outside of that, we seemed to be fine. I am so sorry for messing up the friendship we had created in Sumbawa, and I hope you'd still be willing to be friends with me once this is all over, especially considering the common friends we do have.

Zak and Ash, I'll group you guys together, even though I currently feel different about the both of you. Ash, we didn't get along once this game was finished, and I'm sorry about that because, like I had told you, I really wanted to be friends with you after this game and that my move was simply a part of the game and not a call out to our friendship that had formed (even though you think that I was being fake). As for you, Zak, I hope that you know that our friendship wasn't fake and that even though I don't necessarily get along with your friends that we can be friends once this ends. I'm sorry to the both of you for how this game went, and I hope that we can fix this one day.

Jess... well... I don't think you'll ever see this, but like I've said a million times, I love you, Jess. You were always so sweet to me, and even if you were in this plan to blindside me, told me to "suck a dick" in your idol play, etc., you weren't really that far off. I lied to you, and you were right to be upset, so I'm sorry.

PJ, I really hope that we can fix... the tiny friendship we started to have in Sumbawa. I don't know if it'll be possible, I really am sorry for giving you that false hope going into tribal (not that you even partially believed it). I should've just been straight up with you, but I was trying to protect my own ass, so I'm very sorry.

Josephine... in order for you to really get my apology, we'd both need to grow up and talk it out, so if you do ever want to, just unblock me, and I promise we can fix things if you are willing.

Last but certainly not least, CJ! I think you understand that I'm very sorry for my actions at you in this game and in that speech. We will probably need to still talk some things over, but I'm very sorry, and I hope we can talk more once this mess is over.

Aro, I'm sorry for acting the way I did in that video, and I'm sorry for being the way I was in game. I was pathetic, and although I don't deserve your vote, I really would appreciate it. I'm not doing this apology for the vote, I'm doing it because I am guilty of all these things and have had my eyes opened, so I know I need to do this. You have given me the perfect platform to be able to do this, so I wanted to use this space to do that.