I'm About to Have a Mental Breakdown/Confessionals

Day 6
"hakra"

- Oh my god I'm in a tribe full of idiots

"hakra"

- I wasn't working with Nathan, but I am mad that they voted him out. I get why, but it's too damn early to be voting our most strongest tribe member. With him gone, I have to step up my game a lot more than I wanted to and it's gonna ruin me by merge, but now I'm ready to fight.

"hakra"

- Well just getting back from tribal and wow things worked out perfectly, the 5 that I was trying to get together to vote out Nathan stuck to their word and voted him out, what an early power play! I think having a shift in power this early can be very damaging because a big move was made at the very first tribal but at the same time a group of five proved to each other that we have each others backs and think that it is crucial at this point in the game. After the vote went through Matisse and I exchanged a congratulations and went on to confirm a final 2 deal, I think I can trust this guy with every everything at this point but does that mean I’m gonna put all my trust in him HELL NO

"hakra"

- So we have been back at camp after tribal for maybe over an hour now and Matt and Ace are trying to do damage control being on the wrong side of the vote though I don’t really think they need too I mean this at least to me was more of a direct shot at Nathan then to the people not included in the vote. But regardeless Matt is being almost aggressive by like being upset and asking why he wasn’t included and what made us leave him out. I mean if you and Nathan weren’t close I would have, but anyway if we go to a tribal again Matt will be voted out because when we originally planned to vote Chieko he outed the plan to Chieko so I don’t think I could ever trust him so it’s like when we get the opportunity we take it.

"lothal"

- Nathan the math beast was blindsided on the other tribe. The votes were split which was a very good insight on how Hakra are doin'.

Me and X are definitely strengthening our relationship now that we're both working together to find this idol. We're now both under the impression that this idol links to loveable first-time host, CJ.

We're watching you.

Incinerator out.

"lothal"

- Beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful morning!!!!!! I always love the feeling of not going to tribal. It's interesting though because we haven't gone to tribal so we don't really know where everyone stands at the moment. Nick came up with the idea of an alliance in our tribe and if I am honest I am all for it. When I heard that he wanted an alliance I was like sweet but I am not taking responsibility for it. He can lead it but I ain't running the show here. He can be seen as the alliance leader and I'm not being dragged into that. I feel like things work out for me much better if I am a second-hand man to someone in that position rather than leading the alliance because often your head can be chopped off when you least expect it. Also saying that if you talk a lot and instruct people how to do things it also comes off as bad. I don't think Nick is at that stage yet but it is coming a bit close. He'd be someone I see me taking out before merge possibly if the numbers become too tight but we will see. I just see him as someone who could be cut if the times comes. I wouldn't mind that happening either if I'm honest it is just about when. For the moment the alliance of Me, XFire, Nick, Bryan and Zack I'm very happy with. They are the people I connect with the most on the tribe and it's good to have an alliance with them I reckon. I think for me I would consider XFire to be my closest ally in the game followed by Nick or Bryan. For me I really want to have shields do they can protect me from my name coming up, this also means that when the time comes I can pull off blindsides and moves that I need to make without my name coming up in the process. So yeah so far so good and I'm just gonna keep chugging along and keep on contributing to the tribe as well. I think I'm fine for the moment, but that could change.

"lothal"

- Ohhhh boy. Really got surprised with that vote out. Nathan carried them through that challenge but I guess he must have overplayed a lot to deserve a blindside.

I'm not too worried about today's challenge, even if we lose I think majority alliance will keep me safe. I hope we win it though, I feel like I've bonded a lot with Byron while searching for the idol and a new clue would help a lot on that front.

"hakra"

- That was a big blindside yesterday for sure. I still don't know if it was the right move or not, but what I know for sure is I need some time to do some damage control so I would love to win that challenge. We need to prove we can win without Nathan.

"lothal"

- you know who’s actually kinda annoying? byron. always tryna take charge and shit. like sit down. the only person on this tribe i can actually tolerate is xfire and i hope i make merge with him. the rest can choke and basically and i don’t really care about them. but byron is REALLY getting on my nerves real fast.

"hakra"

- Im stuck between 2 sides atm. Matt & Courtney, and Matisse & Chieko. And they are after each other. If we can win this circle competition along with any of the next few until a swap or something I should be golden.

I am pretty much on good terms with everybody on the tribe except Adam, since I voted him. I wasnt rlly gonna talk to him cuz I thought he was leavingn but considering he isnt gonna go anytime soon I might as well

"hakra"

- Matisse matisse matisse... why why. Why on earth would you think lying about your vote to matt is a good idea. It's pretty well known who voted for who and lying on that is making people feel so sketchy about you which is not good since you're in an alliance with me.

I feel like my partners in crime always put themselves in trouble. And i'm exhausted about dealing with that :P

"lothal"

- Sitting here on the beach, it’s given me time to think, time to dwell, and time to wonder. I don’t know if I have any strong connections... if any on this tribe. I know that if we go to tribal I am definitely in a decent amount of danger and I would have to be delusional to think otherwise. So I am going to HAVE to step my game up or I could end up a prejury flop. Bitches better watch out, because if I set my mind to it... it’s getting done.

"hakra"

- Well that nathan vote was brutal. Lots of unneccessary lying. No one wants to talk to me. And ofc what happened we fucking lost. Stupid Vi and her unrealistic score like wtf. I hope that score was verified. Not sure who i trust anymore.

Day 7
"hakra"

- So we're out again. Vi beat the entire tribe. Can I swap to a tribe with Vi and Xfire? I don't want to face anymore tribals for a while lol.

After some deliberation, I have decided that it's best for me to work with Matt, rather than Matisse and Chieko. Matisse has proven his lying is messy and Chieko is overanalzying and overexplaining things to me all the time and that side has become a mess. Especially after the (bad) move they pulled off last time.

"hakra"

- I'm about to have a mental breakdown here it sounds like these players are going after the more strategical minds rather than competition skills. With that in mind I may need to tone myself down a little. I'm saying Matisse is messy but now I'm being even messier. I don't even know my true loyalties right now, or what my vote is going to even be. I need to tone it down and think but I may have already doomed myself. If they want to rid another strong competitor from their tribe then PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS DOOMED TRIBE I WANT TO GO HOME I HATE THIS GAME AGGHH Survivor sucks BB is better

"hakra"

- So I have been working for most of the day so I had to do most of my work early in the morning. An alliance that won’t ever be in a group chat because of Matisse “the 5” seems to be sticking together once more and be voting Matthew. Matisse was on route to easily being my number 1 in this game but a few things he have done make me worry that he won’t be loyal to me long term. So when I decide that I can’t but my chips into that basket I make the “Level headed” trio of myself Ant and lex and I feel we can be a very dominate force on this tribe and I hope to ride it out with them longer.. everybody on this tribe is going swap crazy and myself I don’t think we’re gonna have a swap next unless it’s into 3 tribes and if that’s the case then I’ll be ready to meet some new people and continue playing this game!

"hakra"

- Cannot wait for Matt to be gone. This lying, snake thot has been throwing Matisse's name to almost everyone else because he told him he lied that voted for me last Tribal Council, when in reality he did vote for Nathan. Poor Matisse he didn't know what was he doing around that time, at least I had to convince everyone that it was a lie and not something serious he threw a vote for Adam instead,

"hakra"

- Besides that, I've at least convinced Courtney to vote for Matt, so hopefully this will work this time. I decided that me and the rest of us should spare her for real, unless in case we lose another challenge where most people would love to blame her for her weakness just like what she did in Circular, so I guess that's how leaving a person to be eaten by the Wolf mutts really works in this situation. Most everyone saw her as socially inept and left people on read several times, so she does sound an easy target.

"hakra"

- Anyways in case Matt does go home, I would be really glad because he's trying to spread lies too early, thus attempting to kill the majority (Which it's composed of Adam, Ant, Lex, Matisse and I. Ace is still not to be trusted yet, but we will see how it goes as he's down to vote for Matt too). This time I'm using Courtney as a number only this round, so she should at least know her ass is already saved by the five of us plus Ace.

"hakra"

- Anyways, I don't really get it why all the men trusts me now, it's because I went against Nathan last Tribal and fought my ass for it? Well, that sounds like a good question... Being so overly nice to everyone and spreading positivity when something's wrong or someone is on danger, or make them don't worry seems the best idea of it.

"lothal"

- We won the challenge thanks to Vi and it's really awkward cause I feel like she would be gone last tribal if we didn't win. I'm glad she was here to save our asses though! I'm also glad someone else is being flashy for once cause I don't want to get into spotlight too much and I feel like I did that a bit with King's Valley and Pinpoint challenges.

Ironically winning caused more headaches than losing cause we spent last night speculating about the idol with Byron and got nowhere. I can't piece these clues together AT ALL and it is really frustrating. I really thought this clue would be the one that would solve the puzzle but it just confuses me more so you know what? Fine, keep your idol - I'll win without it!

"hakra"

- Here we go ! Sorry I'm late, but that's not the point, I'm here to talk about what EXACTLY happened at the Nathan's blindside tribal council. Soooo firstly, Chieko and I were talking about voting out Adam who's the least active guy in the team, I had no Relationship with him sooo that's good. Then Ace tell me the same thing, and at the same moment, Adam sent me a message to call help. He also called help to Nathan. I came to Nathan to know what was his opinion about Adam's destiny in that team. Nathan told me that he would prefer to keep Adam in order to keep the "Invasion Française" invincible with Adam's 5th vote, I could've been fine with that if he didn't tell that he wanted to vote off Chieko. There was no way I betray Chieko, she's a smart and powerful friend, I would've lost alot if I followed Nathan's plan. So I told everything to Chieko, we both seriously talked about what we could do for the vote, firstly we wanted to find a way to vote off Adam. During this time, I was helping Nathan to convince Matt and Antoine from the "Invasion Française" to follow his plan. But Chieko had an awesome idea which was to tell Adam that Matt snitched Nathan's plan. Adam automatically sent a panicked message to me, he was saying that Nathan's plan has been screwed and that he's deranged by how Nathan was overplaying and trying to control the whole tribe. He was still fine to vote Chieko, but I told him that even if it's the first tribal council of this org, in that case, a blindside is necessary, then he told me "if we do a blindside, it has to be Nathan". I agreed without any hesitation, I told absolutely everything to Chieko, she was down to vote Nathan. We chose to let Ace vote Adam alone because we were not sure about his loyalty. Courtney, this was obvious that she would have followed Nathan. So the perfect new was thay the swing votes were Antoine and Lex, they're my 2 closest friend in this team so that was just perfect. I honestly explained everything to Antoine, we discussed without worrying about it, then we made the "Triforce Française" with Lex. I explained everything to Lex in the group, he understood everything, and we all agreed very easily that Nathan was a good vote ! I had to lie to Antoine and Lex about Chieko's lie about Matt snitching Nathan's plan, because they know think that Matt and Chieko have an alliance together. So they fear her a bit, and I can still continue to talk to her without worrying about what Antoine and Lex could think about it. Chieko thinks that Antoine and Lex have probably an alliance, that is just perfect guys ! I am in the middle, I know everything ! The 5-3-1 vote went well as I exactly expected. This was a nice blindside, I know I took a big risk, my only real mistake was to lie about my vote to Matt, even if I told him the Truth almost one day later, he tried to throw me Under the bus in trashtalking in my back to Adam, Antoine, Lex, Ace and probably Courtney, I mean everyone except Chieko (which makes sense). Adam firstly came to me and told me that he doubted on me because of what Matt has said to him, I tried my best to win his trust again. I Don't really think that it worked but everything can happen lol. Then Antoine, Lex and Ace snitched what Matt said in my back and this crazy guy is clearly trying to throw me Under the bus. So still at this moment, I feel threatened, for the vote, Matt's name, Courtney's name, Adam's name and my name have been mentioned for different reasons. Courtney and Adam because they both sucked for the challenge, myself because of Matt's Campaign, Matt because people doesn't seem to trust him because of what he did to me. Honeslty, except if I'm totally blindsided, only Matt and I will receive votes. Chieko, Antoine, Lex, Ace and even Adam guaranted to me that they were voting Matt as the "consensus" want. I worked my social with them all, I Believe in Chieko, Antoine and Lex at least. Ace should be fine as well but if someone betray I'll think it's him. Adam I Don't really Believe he'll vote Matt, except if he sees that Matt's going home for sure. Matt and Courtney will vote me for sure, so I predict either 6-2 or 5-3. I fear to let Matt, Courtney and Adam survive until the swap. I Don't want to have a creepy reputation to Lothal's people because of one of them 3. But I think a swap will happen after this tribal council, 3 teams of 5 people, I am usually swap-fucked, I hope I won't be cursed this time. Adapt yourself is the hardest part of Survivor haha, but I'll tryhard like a pig to survive, never give up ! Matisse the evil french kid will slay !