Board Thread:Survivor 43: San Andrés/@comment-45491255-20200522154455/@comment-35737095-20200522223730

Alex! Buddy! Can you believe it!?!? I know you are tickled to see Mackie & me sitting here!

Thank you for your kind words! I don't necessarily think anybody other than you & maybe Abi really gets what it's like to be in this situation. And neither of you are anywhere close to my age! LOL. I loved seeing your video & I could sense your enthusiasm! It was a joy to watch. Really! =)  Anyhow - on to your question for me.

Yes. I think you hit the nail on the head. Mackie has the luxury of being a 23 year old stud that everybody wants to talk to & be around. He could afford to let the game "come to him". I don't have that same luxury. If I wanted something to happen - I had to make it happen. Other than with you, Zee, Mackie & Abi - if I wanted to talk to somebody - I had to initiate the conversation. Every time. I'm glad you noticed the Bitmoji "Good Mornings" I posted almost every day as well. It was little things like that I had to do to integrate myself into a crowd of people that I largely have nothing in common with. I also had to make some sort of connections with people right off the bat. That is why I made "The Real Final 3" alliance with you and Mackie on the fist vote. I did that! It wasn't needed since Ginny pretty much quit & Lachlan was already another easy vote if we lost. However I felt like I needed to solidify an alliance pretty quickly in order to survive.

Also - I was pretty honest with my assessment of my challenge prowess. As I said in my opening remarks - I wasn't going to win immunities so I had to rely on other means to get farther in the game than the others. Having that safety around your neck guarantees you will advance in the game. I was vulnerable at EVERY Tribal Council! Neither Mackie or Andrew can say that.

I also should point out - that unlike the others - I had NO previous associations with anybody in the game. Andrew knew Mackie & Abi both. I think Jay, Jacob, Zee & Jack all knew people from previous ORGs as well. Despite maybe being at odds in a previous games - it's still a familiarity that could be leveraged if needed. I didn't have that. I had to start the game from scratch.

And - I STILL have to fight harder than them! Had my opening comments read as humble pie - I definitely would have gotten no votes or respect from the Jury. And honestly - WHAT do I have to be egotistical about anyhow? Playing an under the radar game that will quite possible get me no votes? I'm just passionate & proud that I was able to make it to the end of the game! I don't necessarily think that Mackie or Andrew need to "prove" their worth at this Tribal Council. Somehow theirs is automatically given to them, but I have to prove mine?!?!

Regardless - I'm still fighting in this game, I'm still fighting to prove my worth to the jury, I'm still fighting to get votes. I keep on keepin' on until the votes are cast and my torch is snuffed.

Thanks Alex. Can't wait to catch up with you! =)