Downplay My Game/Confessionals

Day 28
"einigkeit"

- Confessional after Anabel boot

"einigkeit"

- Last tribal honestly was such a difficult one for me... like I love anabel so so SO fucking much and like it really really fucking sucked to vote her out... but its something i really had to do for myself. People seeing us as a duo would be a nightmare for my game and i'll constantly have to worry about being targeted, and anabel isn't the most trustworthy person in the world so it would be a lot on my hands. but guess WHO'S THE BADDEST BITCH IN THIS TRIBE... ME!!! two whole ass blindsides in a row, and I'm the only left who's voted correctly every single tribal so far, so I think I'm doing pretty well. The fact that I was able to play all sides last tribal was really something that I found really cool, I think my social game is pretty good other than with matt but then again he's just shoved up anna's ass and literally has no chance of winning so lmao bye but AFTER the tribal I had some serious damage control to do, I gave my reasons to the minority and they seemed understanding? of course they could be lying or whatever but if i'm the only one from the majority alliance coming to help them are they really gonna say no to their guardian angel? we'll have to see. I just really hope I can win this immunity and then I'd have a safety net which would make me feel way more comfortable making a big move this tribal. I want anna OUT and I had to play the dumb loyal dog card so hard last round just to get them to trust me and I think it worked, its survivor though so you never know really what people are thinking. It still feels so damn good playing the villain again and SUCCEEDING at it, it's been a while but I'm really happy with it so far

"einigkeit"

- I'm having such a hard time this tribal... the easy choice would obviously be Felix since we already have a strong 5, but then I already did my whole dumb sob story to them and the returnees + matt and they want to work with me again, and I'm seriously considering it. I basically have a choice here, vote Felix or vote Anabel. Anabel has been such a light in the game and I really really really love her so much, the problem is that people see us as a duo and I know it's gonna hurt me going down the road. I can't have the duo thing tie me down from being available to others for moves, its just gonna put a target on me and I'm not exactly happy with that. Felix on the other hand, I know he's capable, definitely a threat, but he's someone I can align with as a potential shield. Sticking with nora, chari, willow, anabel is a SURE way to get voted out... I would stick out like a sore thumb in that group and there is no way I can get past f5 without immunities with them, going along and keeping anna, felix, and miles in the game will mean that I could always potentially be look over when it comes to taking out a threat, so now I have to make a gut-wrenching decision and it's gonna hurt people either way, I have to do what's best for ME and do what my gut tells me to do, and I think I know what that is

Day 29
"einigkeit"

- I'm scared as hell going into tribal... I literally don't know who to trust anymore and I'm just gonna side with the people who have their shit together... I've heard from felix and miles that the other side was targeting me, yet they told me they wanted matt. So either miles and felix or playing me, or I'm really on the hot seat going into this... god I don't want 8th again... of course I get 2nd in the challenge and anna wins AGAIN... its literally so annoying and if i live through this and she loses im literally targeting her the first chance i get. She did spill some crazy tea though, apparently someone already got to the merge idol and when she reached it, it was gone... Either she's bullshitting me and has two idols or it's true. Both possibilities are equally scary and I'm not looking forward to it. I've never been so anxious going into tribal... I have nowhere to run here

"einigkeit"

- "UGHHH okay so definitely mixed feelings after last tribal 1. WOOO okay I beat my highest survivor org placement of 9th and so I'm SUPER happy bc I haven't gotten past first merge boot in a little over a yr 2. WTF im in the minority once again looks like we were just used by tobi and anabel to blindside thomas and then thrown away in the trash but for the vote thats due in like 10 mins I think we found an in?? or at least I hope Felix and Miles both agreed that tobi is definitely a huge threat bc hes amazing socially and also holds himself strategically, he's the only person who's been able to read the tribe properly everytime and be on the right side of the vote so like he gotta go bc tbh he's just gonna flip flop his way to the end and blindside everyone who doesn't benefit his game. I mean ive loved talking to tobi on a personal level but on a game level hes just not good for my game and hes voting for me too so I'm rly hoping Felix and Miles are smart and vote w us bc if they vote against us then they're dumb bc tobi is a bigger threat than me imo. I've been trying to be smart by playing it up all this round that ppl shouldnt vote me bc im just a dumb goat who can't win at FTC which i mean idk if its true or not? like I think ive played a smart underdog game thus far but I gotta downlplay my game so that they think im dumb and try to take me to FTC LOL i also tried playing it up to the majority that im pretty sure im leaving and stuff bc thats what someone does when they think they're being targeted bc if they didn't it would just give off the signal that they we're up to no good. so ive basically just fake campaigned and acted paranoid to the majority today. I accidentally slipped up by telling AJ I knew I was their target and even tho everyone in her alliance told me I was the target I lied to her and told her it was just my instinct and she doesnt believe me so i definitely need to clear that up w her next round if im here still LMFAO EVEN tho i am slightly paranoid abt where felix and miles loyalties lie i dont think im gonna be playing the idol?? this may be the dumbest move ever to not play it but like I'm pretty sure I have the numbers and I just don't wanna waste it bc tbh i rly want to idol out AJ it would feel like such sweet revenge. also I know in touchy subjects AJ won best social but no tea no shade her social game to ppl in the minority has been TRASH its like i try to make small talk w her and give her open ended questions and all she gives are one word answers and i have to guide the ENTIRE convo and then i at least try to talk game w her and all she tells me is she hasnt heard anything which is SO annoying like at least tell me my name is out there or something pls?? and she has like the biggest attitude and god complex ever and im kinda getting tired of it IDK but shes playing a great game by leading the majority so maybe its justified?? UGH if i go home w this idol im gonna be rly upsetty bc i was contemplating transferring it to nora and then having her transfer it back but like IDK i ultimately decided against it bc id rather be voted out w my own idol then have her voted out w my idol ig??? but maybe i should have actually transferred it? idk only time will tell "

"einigkeit"

- Survivor Rhineland - Day 29