Ummmmm Fuck You Whoever Lied!!!/Confessionals

Day 29
"grande terre"

- You know, coming into this round, I didn't really want immunity, but seeing the messiness that I'm about to partake in, it's nice to have that little bit of insurance protecting me from any possible blowback during this vote.

Going into tribal, I was like really back and forth in terms of where my head was at. At first the easy answer in my head was to vote for Zak because out of everyone here we talk the least, and voting him out wouldn't conflict with any deals I've made. But then I was thinking, well if no one else has any relationship with Zak, maybe I can use him as a number. So I started thinking, maybe split up Cali from someone close to her, like possibly Adrian.

But that all changed when Trent came to me tonight, and basically told me Zak does talk, but it's only to him, Charlie and Jenna. He later kinda backtracked and said they weren't a solid 4 or anything, but holy fuck that's all I'm gonna think of y'all as now. Also, apparently those 4 want Cali out now, which like, speaking in the short term, Cali doesn't pose an immediate threat to my game. And since I'm now seeing them as this kind of close 4, I would loathe to give them any sort of power whatsoever. Like last time in Siem Reap, I coasted until like final 4 and by then it was way too late for me to do anything serious about it. I have the chance to prevent myself from becoming target practice. So if this works out, if everyone does what they say they're going to do, I could've just catapulted myself into the top of this game. As always, fingers crossed that this tribe doesn't descend further into messiness.

"grande terre"

- God dammit Nathan. Why are you such an emotional, messy player? I thought my heart was so set on voting Zak, like I had no qualms with it. But then Zak comes, and just with one message I’m like, “Ohhhhh shit, I can’t vote this dude out.” Like I thought coming in, that I’d be this unmovable, unshakable player who just smiles in people’s faces and then I vote them out one by one. I’m just completely incapable of accomplishing that I suppose. Zak told me he has an express pass to skip a tribal council. If he’s being honest about that and uses it on himself, then my decision will be much easier. I can just vote Jenna, who’s apparently started to be shady, and go along with my merry day. In the meantime though, I think I may just have to vote Zakriah now, and deal with the fallout from Jenna and Charlie later. M’game is FUCKED y’all! Peace out!

"grande terre"

- There's so many damn rats in this game. Like I thought I was a huge rat at first but these people are just boldfaced lying to my face. At least with Jenna, Charlie and Zak, I get it. I lied to them and voted against them last round. I never expected that crap with Adrian and Aren though. It would be less of a hard pill to swallow though if it were me going home, but Andy and Miguel are going to take the fall instead. I just hope George comes through and is being real, and these advantages help us out big time. If not, hopefully I have an inner Mike Holloway.

"grande terre"

- Right now I'm about to take part in one of the sloppiest, most daring, heart-stopping moves since I've started playing orgs. And it all hinges on George, and he knows it all hinges on him. If George is being honest and this move works, I'm coming out smelling like roses, and if it doesn't I am so damn screwed. Also hopefully Miguel and Andy used their advantages right and read all the fine print and shit. Cause holy fuck that would be embarrassing to come back into the tribe chat, advantage-less, AND in a 7-2 situation. My god George please come in clutch.

"grande terre"

- My god! A 6-5 vote with me getting the 5? I thought I was toast. This bread is NOT being toasted yet. It's fresh and ready to wrap up this season. And then about the vote Miguel comes to me in pms like "well you didn't tell me how to vote" like um excuse me your ass has been shady all season and when I try to talk game you won't give me any info so good fucking riddance. You have to give some to get some. Now I understand why he lost ftc so many times. Andy told me miss George got them to vote for me and then flipped back. What a fucking snake. The audacity of someone like George doing that to me smh. I've been so nice to him and pretending to be interested in his stuff but jesus I cannot take this anymore!! He's stale and it bores me to talk to him. I s2g if he says fucking Palo Alto one more time... But, I'll kiss his ass every week if it's gonna get me this win. As for Andy and Nathan.. oh no girl. Y'all really messed up coming for me. From what I can tell, they're both fucked. I'm just like :)))) when they both came trying to kiss my ass after trying me. Me to them: It's fine dw about it. Me to me: These idiots actually voted for someone who wanted to work with them.

"grande terre"

- So Zakriah gave me his advantage when he thought he was being voted out at f11 but I kept him with that idol and snaked that item huh. Jk I didn't know he'd given it to me until after my idol play lmao. That's 4/15 auction items that have been in my possession lol. The advantage is an express pass that has to be used before 8 people are left so this is the last round to use it! After the way these bitches came for me last time I'm not taking chances! It's really nice to have a break from the game. I need to go a bit utr so I'm hoping that everyone starts getting messy and taking hits at each other so i can slide in and find my place when I get back.

"grande terre"

- Alright, so, I really hope this all goes to plan because George was a lil sketchy last round and Charlie won't be able to vote so if George wanted to flip and somehow managed to flip two other people with him, it could totally be one of me/Jenna/Zakriah/Trent leaving this round.

Ideally, Nate leaves. We have a pretty strong connection so if I do end up making it to the end with my ideal me/Adrian/George final 3 I think he'd vote for me and he's also a huge threat.

I really wanna make some threesome alliance with George & Adrian because I wanna solidify the fact that I trust them and want to work with them moving forward. The one concern is that George would leak it...

Day 30
"grande terre"

- OK time to try and win this game now.

Nathan's the obvious target tonight. HOWEVA i'm not so certain i want nathan to go! surviving this tribal puts me at the final 8. that means the alliance of myself, charlie, zak, and jenna basically has control of the game. except i'm not sure that those three have me in their endgame plan. I'm friend's with them, yes, but they will all probably choose each other over me. on top of that, with the four of thus taking up half of the final 8, we're gonna have the biggest bullseyes on our heads. i don't want to take the heat for that next tribal. not to mention, the three of them have been very controlling of me and are going to take credit for a lot of the work that i've done, which i don't want to feel victim of. i need to add some credentials to my resume, and i shouldn't be making my friends look like better players. so that means tonight's the night to try and turn on them. with charlie at exile and zak immune, that means jenna's gotta be the one to go. i think nathan and andy would absolutely be on board for that, meaning i only need one more vote on my side. aren reportedly wants to make an alliance with everyone minus andy and nathan, so i'm gonna see where his head is at gamewise. i need to find one or two more votes or my game could resort down to me playing second fiddle for people, which i don't want.

as much as i want this to work out though, i'd be lying to say that i would be upset with nathan leaving. he's a huge threat physically and he hasn't been terrible on a social level. him being gone evens up the playing field a little bit.

"grande terre"

- Going into tribal, the odds are definitely against me. I'm clearly in the minority and the two heads of that alliance (Jenna and Zak) likely don't trust me one bit. Thankfully there's still a glimmering ray of hope in all this. Trent seems to want to make a move this round, and take out Jenna. If he's actually being genuine and this move gets pulled off, I'd be floored. Like it would be absolutely fantastic to have some new life given to me in this game. I am nervous though. Assuming Trent is actually 100% genuine in wanting Jenna out, there's still the matter of relying on Adrian and George. The last couple rounds, those two have been kind of shifty about where exactly their true allegiances lie and what they actually want to do in this game. Once again, I'm put in a position where I have to put my faith in people who I don't necessarily trust. It's fucking scary, and it definitely gives me this kind of icky queasiness, but I'm gonna hope that this is the scary rollercoaster ride before the amazing reward of funnel cake afterwards.

"grande terre"

- Hey bbys, okay so I have made it to day 30 and i'm like ??? so for some reason people have been telling Charlie and Jenna that i am a snake and fucking them around????? ummmmm fuck you whoever lied!!! honestly I want to get Jenna out so hopefully that works lmao.......I honestly do no like anyone left in the game except nathan... also wtf why does everyone think it is jenna/charlie/zak making the decisions?!??!?!?!!??? ?!!! what baout me!! i have been involved and at the front off all vote outs except Julia!!! fuck I really want charlie and jenna out tbh

"grande terre"

- so i think i've made some progress

George and adrian sound on board to go through with the jenna vote. that means with her light pearl she should be leaving 4-3. I'm a little worried that there could have been a leak and I could go home instead, but I have to commit to what I'm doing and own it.

Adrian, georgr and i made an alliance as well. We agreed that we're kind of in the middle and should stick together. this is a good group for me because george and adrian don't really do anything in this game and i feel reasonably well that i could beat them when it comes to ftc. things are lookin pretty sunny!

"grande terre"

- I knew this shit with the big flip was going too easily. Trent stuck his neck out for me to stay. George and Adrian seemed super eager to shake up the status quo. It was perfect. We finally agreed on a plan and it didn't go to shit within minutes. And now apparently Andy leaked the damn plan to Jenna and Zak for god knows what reason. Well, I'm assuming his reason was to create more distrust within that alliance. My god though, his timing could not be worse. Trent, George and Adrian are already really nervous that this shit could blow back in their faces. I'm even more frustrated cause it's like, come on dude! My necks on the chopping block right now. If you wanna cause chaos do it when I'm more secure s'il te plaît. Hopefully everyone just sticks to the plan, does what they promised me they'll do, and maybe, just maybe, I'll still be here fighting another day.

"grande terre"

- Oooh man, this vote is a mess.

So, it's totally either Jenna or Nathan leaving. YIKES!!! I voted for Nathan, but for some reason I can just really picture Jenna leaving now... Ugh, I hope this all works out.

I've also figured out that in a game like this, laying low really is just the best strategy. If people start to notice that you're a strategic player, then your name gets thrown out there. From now 'till FTC I'm just gonna focus on flying UTR, making sure I'm safe, and also putting people on the Jury who I think would vote for me at FTC.