I'm on Everyone's Hit List/Confessionals

Day 28
"varin"

- God I'm so glad to be rid of Andy. He's an annoying cocky asshole. Then there's his fuckboy friend Alex who's still in. Kaffe is my favorite of the "palins" because he confirmed to me that Alex hates me! You see, I get Andysaying I have a shit social game, and even kind of not liking me. I didn't talk to him because when I did, he made it clear he would rather do anything else over talking to me. Alex though, I have talked to, and as of late he's made it clear he hates me, but our first convos weren't bad. Either way, he can go fuck himself now. I don't know where I'm going to go from here. All I know is... A palin is not going to win this game. And that makes my little heart sing with joy.

"varin"

- Thankfully to Julian (and also myself - I kinda helped) the Pailins plan to fuck over the Kandal 4 failed miserably, saving me from four votes and sending Andy to the jury. Like I got along with the dude but he was way too intense and that's definitely what turned people like Julian, like Charley against him. Now one would think that after going through rocks and being saved with an idol play, I would be indebted to Kandal. Hell fucking no. Alex basically laid it out to me nice and clear, although I've been seeing the writing on the wall before then. Julian is like Joe Anglim of this flipping season and if he makes the end with his target, there's no question that he wins. Even though I feel that I made more of an effort to talk with the Pailins and try to form bonds with them, which I hope do last cause these guys are really nice people, Charley has a successful idol play for someone else under her belt. Even though she had to be convinced not to play it for herself or Hannah. But you know, whatever. Perception is reality and all that good stuff. Hannah, I love her but she's drawing dead right now short of a sudden awakening of an endgame. So where does that leave me? Good ol Nate. Well right now I'm the guy who, even though he doesn't really have any negatives (I'm loyal to my alliance, I try talking to everyone and making them feel included) he doesn't have any net positives either in terms of big moves on his resume. So Alex and Jake laid it out to me clear as day. They're still willing to work with me, along with Kaffe, if I want to make a huge move, that move being to either take out Julian or Charley. Obviously there's some hesitation coming with such a move. I mean, hello, you guys just voted for me last tribal. I'm not just gonna randomly forget that, no matter how innocently you're portraying my option to flip. However, to win this game, you can't just have "Loyal" on your list of qualities unless you're with the worst of the worst and I'm not with the worst of the worst here. It is tough. Do I stay loyal to my Kandal 4, the people I've been with the longest? Or is it probably time for me to blow the game up and take the reins like I said I would try to do and sleep in bed with the Pailins? I'm not gonna lie. I haven't gotten blood on my hands since I voted for Marco and Amber back to back. It's definitely a lot to weigh out in my head and I think it'll be a puzzler up until after immunity even.

"varin"

- last time my plan to play the idol on Nathan worked even though Charley was super paranoid. The thing now is even though they voted for Nathan and Nathan says that he's with us, if the Pailins were still trying to get anyone to flip, it would most likely be Nathan. So right now, Nathan holds all the power in his hands which now means I could potentially be in a lot of danger (more than usual). If Nathan sees me as a threat to his game & I don't win immunity, he has 3 free votes at his disposal to do whatever with. So I may have to win my way to end? Who knows but I'm just hoping that Nathan will stay with the Kandal alliance

Day 29
"varin"

- So I feel like I'm 150-200% like I am at the bottom. Luckily, someone in that 4 is on the bottom as well and I worked him harder than I have ever worked someone in my ORG career. I knew Nathan was at the bottom and luckily Jake made the first strike and all I had to do was make him realize that he was at the bottom of that 4 because Julian and Charley were never going to take each other to the end and they both needed Hannah to be their goat. That meant that he was the perfect person to get with my group and luckily now he's on board with us. My only hope is that he is truly 100% with us after laying out how the game is heading. This was the only move I could make and I have to press is super hard
 * 1) PrayForMe

Day 30
"varin"

- I'm so frustrated. Kaffe has been wanting Charley out this whole game and now that we can finally strike he doesn't want to do anything about it and Nathan is being so wishy washy when he KNOWS that he's at the bottom Like guys LET'S MAKE A MOVE we're at 7 we can finally do something about that group of 3

"varin"

- So it's pretty much me and Alex right now, I've heard his name quite a bit and I'm scrambling so hard for kaffe to go home tonight, these guys are rock solid and I hope I've found a crack in their alliance somehow!

"varin"

- so apparently Jake is Alex's mouth now? I just want to know why Alex can't speak to me himself to get me to flip. Jake says it's because I'm a threat and because I'm the "cutest guy" here. What does that have to do with him fighting for his life? If anyone could convince the alliance to give him a chance, it would be me, because right now, I'm the one coming up with the strategic plans. I swear he's such a dumb ass. This is why Pailin's plans always failed. STOP BEING AN IDIOT FUCK Also I know for a fact, I'm on everyone's hit list because I keep winning challenges. So that's what I plan on doing for the rest of the time here and hopefully getting the idol, before someone else finds out. I'm realizing I need to be willing to take anyone out in order to win because I know as soon as I lose, it's over for me.

"varin"

- The AMA's are great so far Selena Gomez is slaying Oh also I don't know who to trust in the game. As of right now if I don't get Julian and Jake out I won't win the game

"varin"

- Julian just has to be good at everything, doesn't he? Julian won immunity (again woo :/). I mean in a way I'm glad because he is good company and its fun always talking with him. But still, I want him the hell out of this game soon. In the meantime I flipped back since if I can't get rid of Julian, I may as well help to split up the close pair of Jake and Alex. It is hard though. Those two are fighting so hard to keep themselves together but ultimately I'm hedging my bets and staying with the Kandal 4 to vote out Alex. Is it the big ass blindside I was hoping for? Hell no. Will it help my game in the end? God I hope so. So that's it for my shortest confessional ever. See ya.