Board Thread:Big Brother 5/@comment-26137519-20171217200824

Emma & Erin, I want you guys both to know that I adore you both as people and everything I say in this speech is not meant to be hostile or hurt your feelings, it's strictly game statements, because that's what we are here for.

First of all, congratulations to both of you for making it to the end, a place that 14 others envied to be in, but only you two actually got there.

Now to the hard part, I'm struggling to figure out who to vote for between you two and as much as I hate saying this, because I do like both of you a lot as people, it's not because I think you played equally amazing games, it's moreso because you played equally flawed "what in the actual fuck were you doing the entire time" games and that's a problem.

Emma - Non-existent for virtually the entire pre-jury except that time you were HOH Week 1, hardly into the game until you were evicted the first time and came back and suddenly coming to life at Final 7V2.0, just to seemingly continue playing Bryce's game instead of just yours.

I have had issues strategizing with you at points, you were hesitant in telling me what you were going to do during the Alietta/Domonique vote, in the event of a tie, and I WAS considering voting Ali out that time, but your uncertainty made me shift gears and tell Natalie it's hopeless.

In certain moments, you just "listened" to my arguments that I said to you and gave me the response that "You would think abou it", rather than giving me things, that would keep the discussions flowing. It just seemed as if you really had no interest in playing the game with me what-so-ever and you were just waiting for me to die.

Final 5, as I tried to strike a deal with you, as I tried to campaign to you for your vote, instead of being straight up with me, you once again told me that you were "thinking about it" and then within TEN minutes of conversation, you said that "I don't think it would make sense to me to go back on something I told myself coming back into the game" as well as "I voted 30 minutes ago", which was some time BEFORE you told me that "Your vote was not locked yet", I think that's frankly playing with my emotions at a point, where I really already kinda figured that I was screwed and I was just giving my very last efforts in order to stay and that's something that really turned me off on my way out of the game.

I'm not saying that you were not straight up at all in this game, there certainly were situations in which you were, but it really had been in the worst possible moments, as they could've easily screwed you up. You did not hesitate to tell the entire house, that you had the MVP Temptation, when you EASILY could've pointed fingers at Bryce and make him look even worse, than he already looked to people (but again, I believe you were playing the game for him, so this seems out of question for you to do) AND you didn't even HESITATE to tell me, that you were full-on guns blazing ready to give me 7th place.

Don't get me wrong, you got respect from me by doing that, but strategically I just really wanted to get you the fuck out of this game, if given the chance lmao and that's not a good way of trying to protect yourself inside the game.

So this was very negative thus far, but I would like to give you a chance to read the things, which I've thrown at you above, reflect on them and tell me why you believe what I am saying is not correct, doesn't represent the game you played and I shouldn't take into account when casting my vote.

Feel free to add anything about your game, that I may have misperceived, if you believe it will help you get my vote.

Erin - Someone who I was very comfortable talking to, cracking some semi-offensive jokes (but I got the humor for that lol), but playing this game WAY too emotionally and at times coming off as very controlling and demanding.

I've been aligned with you from very early on and for the longest time had absolutely no issues with that, I even was ready to "throw you a pity vote" against Grant, which helped you survive the Double Eviction by a mere 4-3 vote (which apparently Bryce voted to keep you after he preached, that he wanted you out of this game for so long, but whatever floats his boat) but as we hit mid-jury, you started to completely derail and go nuts. You have went into full "I worked for my spot here and some didn't" mode and you tried to make me work with people, who I have told you multiple times I wanted out of the game and I didn't see the benefit of them staying.

You were convinced, that there was absolutely no chance that Bryce would go against you, because of the personal bond, that you had created, and despite me trying to tell you multiple times, that I did not trust your insticts on that, you refused to cooperate and make the move against Bryce, which subsequently resulted in both of us getting nominated BY BRYCE the week after and ultimately leading to my eviction.

To be honest, I was salty at the thought of getting evicted, despite having the right instincts and the possibility to prevent it, but not having you pull through, because of your "Bryce is like my brother and the others don't deserve to be here" ideology. However, I can respect it from a point of view, that you would've done the same thing, if I was Bryce and I am thankful that you consider me as such an important person to you.

One mishap in that area can easily be forgiven, I did not however appreciate, how you gave me one last round-house-kick straight into my fucking face on my eviction week, by cock-teasing me with the Power of Veto, which I EXPECTED you to use for yourself, but you still decided to tell me, that you were possibly going to use it on me and didn't say anything, that would make me think any other way, only for you to still follow through and send me home.

I would like you to reflect on all the PERSONAL decisions you made, tell me and the jury, why you felt that they made strategic sense to you and I would like you to elaborate on what your entire "I want to be with the big boys" ideology was all about, despite the fact that it clearly didn't look like it was making sense some of the time.

One thing, that I would like to know from BOTH OF YOU concerning my eviction week is why the FUCK you thought it was necessary to kick me, while I was already on the ground. It doesn't matter if it was intentional or unintentional, both of you made me believe, that I had at least a CHANCE of surviving the week one way or another and both of you proceeded to crush that so mercilessly, that I was in a matter slightly disgusted at that, so if you could both please tell me why you had done what you did, I would appreciate that.

On a personal note, I would like to sincerely apologize to both of you for how dramatic and negative my speeches to you are, but in order for me to cast my vote and feel good about it, I need you to clear things up for me, that I have felt completely unsatisfied with, since I left the game and earned my status as a juror.

I'll still continue to talk to the both of you after this game is over, there are no hostile personal feelings towards any of you and I wish you both the best of luck for this jury portion 