Self Preservation Is Key/Confessionals

Day 4
"catarina"

- Making an alliance without a reason to (aka going to tribal) is very awkward, and I always feel like I'm acting too early, but the more I talk to people I realize that everyone feels this way. Last season Konstantinos took the initiative, however I have to be more of a leader, so I'm definitely leading the charge.

Me and Austin are like rice and beans right now, we've been talking non-stop and I trust him completely. After that endurance challenge, it was hard not to trust Nick as well. and Nathanial was one of the first people I got to know as well. So boom, 4 people majority! I also want to include Rhi, who is busy as all hell, and I found out she's a zookeeper, which is very cool.

Now that very clearly alienates Hannah and Brian, who I do like, but I can't align with everyone! I've been very patient, and letting these people fall into place on their own, and I'm definitely with this group of 5, hopefully they're with me too.

"catarina"

- Another day down! Lately I feel like things have been going pretty good on my tribe, at this point right now, Nick and myself are aligned with everyone but Brian basically, not officially yet, but probably sooner than later two chats will be mad and nick and I will be in both, Rhi and Hannah in one with us and Sim and Nathaniel in the other, so if we go to tribal that gives us one easy route to take if we are to lose if we don't feel like betraying anyone, which this early doesn't really make sense, ultimately I wanna work with Sim/Nick the closest, but I like everyone on this tribe so hopefully tribal won't become something we start to visit, right now the wheels of this game are slowly starting to turn and soon enough they'll be in full gear, I just have to spend my time now preparing myself and being ready for what's to come.

"tacana"

- Unfortunately, Claudia pushed back on voting out Ryan and I'm not ready to step on people's toes yet, so I arranged the Grant blindside last minute. He just didn't seem committed to me and I don't want to sketch my alliance out by pushing to save Grant.

Now Aerial, Claudia, Malik and I are on top of the tribe right now, with Andrew and Ryan in the bottom. Andrews clueless, and we'll see if Claudia leaks to Ryan.

The goal right now is to get to the next swap with everyone on the tribe feeling like I've got their back. Ryan needs to go at some point soon.

"queztal"

- I think this is the first time that I have ever sat out of a challenge on an ORG ever. I really like winning, and to not be one of the people who will have a hand at potentially winning this is a little bit disappointing.

I did say that I will sit out if it's a LIVE challenge, and if it doesn't require a LIVE presence, I didn't have to sit out. They have made that decision, and I'm thankful for that, but at the same time, I really hope that they're not going to hold it against me if we lose. After all, it was them who made that decision to let me sit out although the challenge is not LIVE.

Anyway, I really hope they do great on the challenge. I'm counting on Elmo the most, because I know he's good at challenges, and hopefully, they can pull another First Place W for us! GO QUETZAL!

"tacana"

- so Grant voted for me last night faksdj which is...... cute considering i didnt even want him to go :-/ oh well.

yesterday uk how i said i was being messy? well i brought up to Matt at one point how i was disappointed that Malik flopped the word search and whatever, and i really think he told Malik lmfao. Bc Matt told me he actually talks to Malik and also like an hour later Malik messaged me and basically apologized for doing so bad on it khakjsdhfkasjdhflk like rip i c u matt.

tbh i see myself being v vulnerable if we don't win this next immunity soooo i'm gonna put in wurk catchin' this music lyke

"queztal"

- I just realized they sat me out prior to the announcement of the challenge, so I can't really blame them for sitting me out on a NOT LIVE challenge. Haha.

"queztal"

- My tribe started out pretty quiet, and so I knew I needed to make some personal relationships with enough people so that I wouldn't be a target at a tribal council. I think some of the people I can trust the most are Elmo and Jenna, and I feel like I'm putting good work into relationships with Shea and Renz. I've also talked a bit with Cameron and not too much with Jalen. Obviously were going to continue to try and win challenges until a majority is created, but whatever the majority ends up being I need to find myself in it. Self preservation is key in the early days of the game.

"queztal"

- Grant was voted out last night, and he was the other person who abstained. I fell asleep at a bad time and ended up waking up barely in time to abstain.

I feel like that put me on the bottom of my tribe so I'm pushing really hard to do well on this next challenge. Even tho we crushed the first one without me, if we go to tribal today I still have abstaining for the first challenge against me.

I don't trust Jenna at all. She continuously votes against me in another ORG, so I have to play it off like I think she is with me on that ORG to make sure she doesn't target me in this one. The problem is we just used a Double Vote to send her ally home over me in a 5-4, and if we go to tribal my alliance is going to vote her out which will drastically affect our relationship.

I'm in a bad spot. I hope we win this challenge, because I have no idea where I am on this tribe right now. No alliances have been formed to my knowledge, and I have no clue where the idol is.

"catarina"

- We had no tribal That was very good for me I need some allies

"catarina"

- Sim has approached me About aligning us with Austin, Nick and Rhi

"catarina"

- I got a good score In the challenge that we had Hope that’s good for me

Day 5
"queztal"

- It's always better to say less than say more. When we lost, I felt like ""Well i'm 2nd out queen Mari Salt queen fuq."" It's scary going to Tribal on Day 5, Nobody wants to go home that early but now that we're all talking, it's looking like Cam is going to be the vote tonight.

There's no exaggerating. Cam didn't just do bad. He did probably the worst anyone has ever done on that challenge in the history of this challenge. I don't even know how you get that low of a score! Renz is kind of upset because his whole ""Rainbow Alliance"" is getting put on the backburner.

It doesn't make sense to pull off some huge 4-3 blindside right now, It's so early on and no alliances have really been formed, more just social bonds. Cameron doesn't have any social bonds.

I don't see the point of clinging onto dead weight which is what Cam is. He doesn't talk much, he didn't do super well last time and he bombed this time. Jalen is having a super hard time with the emotional aspects of voting someone out. He's taking the guilt of it and I don't think he really knows how to deal with it. I'm new to this, but there is that disconnect for me that I don't think Jalen has. It's his first ORG and this is my fourth.

I just want this vote to be easy, unanimous, and Cam can *rupaul voice* HIT IT

"queztal"

- Comparing the first challenge with the second one, it made me realize that collectively, our tribe is not strong…

Also, the first time I sit out, and we lost? Wow. That makes me really nervous because they could easily target me for not participating in the challenge. The only positive thing I see coming out of not participating is the fact that they don’t have any basis for voting me out other than the fact that I sat out.

I haven’t really heard my name, but all of my conversations are active, and the consensus is Cameron. I feel bad for voting him out, but if we could pull off a unanimous vote, that would be great for our tribe, because it will push us to work harder.

"queztal"

- They say a Survivor game doesn’t begin unless the lines are drawn at Tribal Council, and this Tribal Council is actually a big help for me to know where people’s head are at. There might not be a big target after this tribal council, because I’ve heard that we’re voting unanimously, but who knows? Maybe someone’s planning to flip.

The major thing about tribal council is you don’t know what’s really happening on other conversations until after the votes are read, so I’m crossing my fingers that there will be 0 votes for me.

"catarina"

- I think Sim is cool We want to together reach The merge and Jury

"catarina"

- Rhi, she works with birds She’s also a great person Shame she’s so busy

"catarina"

- Nick is a nice guy Talked more to him early on Still good with him though

"catarina"

- Brian, who is that? Right, him who never responds He’s still awesome though

"catarina"

- You know who is great? Austin - he is so, so nice Always talks to me

"catarina"

- Then we have Hannah Most personal connection Well, at least with me

"queztal"

- It really sucks that we lost the immunity challenge. And it's not like the challenge was hard or anything, it was actually really fun! Tacana better thank ""Ryan"" because he saved their asses from going to tribal for a SECOND time. Right now, the plan is to send Cameron home due to his inactivity and poor performance in today's challenge. But this is Survivor and the game is outwit, outlast, and outplay; they may be lying to me. I know that I'm probably going to receive a vote from Cameron today because we barely talk and I had the second lowest score in today's challenge. Additionally, I'm attempting to get a solid alliance going between myself, Elmo, Shea and Jenna because I get good vibes from all three of them. I'm not knocking Renz and Brandon but I barely talk to them. Hopefully that will work because in the event that we lose again I feel that I could go home.