Ain't Big Enough for the Two of Us/Confessionals

Day 12
"monoceros"

- An ORG novice tries to convince everyone of how good they are at ORGs. That was me not very long ago, I admit. My ego told me that I need everybody to think I am Good at Things, that I need everyone to witness my brilliant strategic mind and keen social game.

Now I know better. The secret to being a great ORG player is making everyone think you're actually pretty dumb, and playing poorly. It took some self reflection, to kill my ego, to let go of my pride. But now, I'm playing the village idiot, the meek little flop who is very worried about re-flopping and needs these big strong former winners to show me the way. And you know what, I'm having a great time doing it.

My new favorite thing to do this game is to say something a bit delusional, and then follow it up by saying that maybe I'm being naive. The more I can get people to associate the word naive with me, the better. I didn't play my idol last game and got blindsided premerge because I'm naive. I'm just very trusting and sweet, and now I need a strategy sugar daddy, because I couldn't possibly come up with all these complicated ideas on my own. Then, when all sorts of wild schemes start to be put into place, nobody's going to suspect me.

"monoceros"

- apologies for getting it worse at writing these! my tribe keeps wining immunities, it's easy to get too lazy like this. OG Vulpenela are not doing so ok after the swap. Nemo went home first. if Nathaniel or (and) Nicole flipped on him - i don't blame them as i saw Nemo as "the one i would have no problem to flip on in a swap" too. (sorry Nemo!). I was so scared that Nathaniel or Nicole would go home in their 2ns tribal but they proved why they are superstars and found a way out of it. in a possible merge, i can imagine mono-stereo 2.0. aligning to vulpecula 2.0.

on a worse note... that 3rd tribe got Gevonte out! HOW DARE THEY?!?! Byron and Hickman experienced why it's not acceptable to target Gevonte. Equuelus 5 will experience that too!

but idk... maybe it's too early to talk about merge yet? yeah, one 1st view it looks like i am in good position here. i have full trust in Conch and Isaiah, who both are amazing people and i'd draw a bad rock for them if needed, but there's also Devin's plan to have a foursome of Devin, me Caeb and Conch. which on paper sounds perfect... but for some reason i don't trust Devin AT ALL! all my experience in these games tells me that he is talking bullsh*t in 70% of our chats, but at the same time - all this experience is not enough for me to have a good read on his intentions. is he like this because he is planing to backstab me ASAP, or is he just looking for allies? Conch seems to trust him, and i trust Conch, so i might go along with this, but as soon as Devin's targets don't go along with my targets - my target goes on Devin.

"monoceros"

- damn we lost a challenge. as i said in previous confessional - despite of having numbers in theory - i am super paranoid

"equuleus"

- - me and Okie kinda carried, I probably even slightly more (he did very important bit, though)

- disappointed with my constellation for not getting more riddles, a bit upset with myself for not getting couple specific ones that I should have

- effing Toby with his nerd levels. and he says he doesn't feel ready for The Genius? yeah, right.

- I was dominant, which is worrisome, but fuck it - I deserve to not hide my smartness where it's useful for a tribe immunity challenge

- very happy to not go to tribal. I do like all the people for the most part, but mainly things could have gotten very complicated, so yeah

- probably a swap incoming at F14

Day 13
"equuleus"

- AMAZING WIN BY MY TRIBE! I hate that I wasn't there, but scheduling is always hard in ORGs so I understood. But, I wish I could've helped. I really do think if we had gone to tribal, Okie would probably get dimmed. He just really hasn't been around much imo and I don't want him to go because I do think that he is gonna vote where I am going to. Especially after my read on Hickman's vote went my way and not his. But, here we are. Immune once again. I am glad we get to continue to make new bonds moving forward.

"equuleus"

- So we went to tribal and I got a vote Wish I'd be a little but I was already feeling really guilty about my vote. I voted based on personal connections and my alliance agreed with it. I think I felt really guilty because I had told Gevonte that I wasn't gonna vote for him. Also I felt that I had a good connection with him. Personally I think I have a good personal connection with everyone on the tribe so it was hard for me to have to vote out anybody. Luckily I had some time to gather my thoughts and get it back together. Let's fast forward to today when my tribe won immunity. I was happy that we did because I don't think I could bare to do it anytime soon. I hope we either swap tribes or merge again soon.

"monoceros"

- Weed just got legalized in New Mexico last week and I bought some edibles today so apologizes if I am a little off the rails lmao.

But we finally lost immunity. I was honestly holding out hope that we could win out till swap or even merge. But to be honest, I don't know if this is just me being high, I feel fkn great about my game so far.

First tribal - Managed to hold bonds with Nicole Nemo Hickman and Martynas despite me being EXTRA busy that weekend. I made a "If you got my back this tribal I got your back next tribal" type of promise with Martynas and Nathaniel which helped me a ton. The vote swung towards Byron which was 100% what I would've wanted if I got to choose who left. Overall went perfectly for me.

Second Tribal - I wrote about this in a past conf and my brain is too cloudy to recall all of the details but I slayed here. I redeemed my DISASTER of a game in MV but going with my brain and getting the vote on to Hickman to save myself and create bonds with most of the tribe. It set me up perfectly for this next swap with Conch and Martynas.

This Tribal - Me Conch and Martynas have formed what is basically a "if you flip you're going to hell" type of pact here. We have pledged loyalty to each other that we will go to rocks for each other. And the best part is that Caeb and Devin REALLY do not want rocks. I have been throwing out Samb's name so far bc he is the least connected in that trio, and I love Samb and really wanted to play with him again but he hasn't dmd me in 4 days. AND LOOK! I am playing with my brain instead of my heart again! I am promising my place in the game and my connections over personal feelings. So sorry I have to kill you Samb but it is in my best interest <3

I feel like I am thriving this season. I have purposefully lowered my threat level and have made my self seem like I haven't been running things, but have also made sure I have made strong connections to keep me in the loop and give me enough push to make big decisions.

I'm so proud of myself this season, and I will ride this wave for as long as I can.

"equuleus"

- this game is moving at a super rapid pace. It is day 13 and we are about to be down from 22 to 14 already. Voting out Gevonte was the easy thing to do. I debated going Vulpecula 2.0 strong just so we wouldn't be going into a swap super far down in numbers but AJ going out really eases my fears. I think going to the other side to avoid rocks and make 3 new allies was the better move and Matty thought so as well. I really need to solidify something with Catnip and 1-2 others before we likely swap tmr. I am a little worried that I don't have my usual network of a bajillion alliances going into a merge relatively soon. I need to get to work there. I am not used to not having all the information possible. Fun fact I have been in a dominant position on all 6 pre-merge tribes I have ever been on coming into this game, however this season I haven't been in control in either of my tribes. I am definitely defaulting to Catnip/CJ/Natalie. Hopefully they look out for me if we swap together but I don't fully trust them. I also sense that there are a few very connected players that know eachother through hosting and other places that are not only super tight but have a web of connections throughout the cast. I think if that is the power structure that is going to run the rest of the game I am in real trouble since I am definitely on the periphery of that. I could be dead wrong here but I think people like Conch, Nathaniel, Catnip, and Isaiah are tight and have connections in a lot of places. to counteract that I need to not only get in tight with Catnip to get me the longevity needed to start picking it apart but also allies on the outside that I can start planting seeds in to have numbers to make my move. I think I have Matty, Nicole will be down, Martynas is someone I think I can reunite with at a swap. I need to keep working on people like CJ and Natalie. I could drop this idea if when we swap again or merge more info comes out that I don't this alliance exists but I need to start preparing because if it does exist I could be in serious trouble long term.

"monoceros"

- So it’s been a fairly quiet swap for the Monoceros tribe. Having won first place in both of the immunity challenges has meant that we’ve been allowed to throw up the smokescreen of total tribe unity. It’s a convenient narrative that allows us to keep the facade that gameplay isn’t still happening under the surface.

Since the swap I’ve been keenly aware of the 3-3 split between old Monoceros and old Vulpecula, but by some lucky happenstance I managed to get swapped with Martynas, my buddy from the pregame pairs challenge. This gives me at least an edge because we did exchange the perfunctory “yeah let’s work together if we meet up after a swap” pleasantries. To be fair, Marty does seem like a solid dude and I am lucky that I at least know SOMEONE from the other tribe. So I’ve been trying to work on everyone from the original Vulpecula to see if there is a possibility of working together.

The last vote was an interesting one. Both tribes voted out someone in the majority, which signals to me that tribal lines are not as solid as people wanted to believe they would be preswap. This gives me hopes that rocks can be avoided (shoutout to Jino, my boy) and that I can make a whole new power structure with me at the centre.

This is bolstered heavily by my newfound connection with Conch. They and I seem to be on exactly the same wavelength when it comes to strategic stuff, and we’ve managed to bond personally as well. On a small tribe like this having a connections that strong feels like a huge boon to my game.

In the event that we do lose I’ve been planting the seeds that Samb might be a good person to lose. It might make some people from the Silly Six upset (the Silly Six was an alliance of convenience from the original Monoceros tribe) but at this point lines seem to be getting redrawn all over the place; I could probably smooth it over pretty easily if I needed to. Also, he like never talks game other than saying how the six should stick together. I’m going to need a little bit more than that, Grandpa.

"monoceros"

- https://youtu.be/Asaipy_qdcM

"monoceros"

- Currently it seems like me/Conch/Isaiah are going to vote for Samb, Devin and Caeb said that they will vote Samb too and Samb is voting for me.

i am being torn appart, all the "safety" voices in my head are telling that me/Conch/Isaiah should vote Devin making it 3-2-1 with all the guarantees to avoid the idol...

but also it seems like Conch had bonded with Devin so it would be difficult to turn them onto voting Devin.

i am going to just sit on the chair and keep hoping for no idols?

if it goes 5-1 with Samb going home - we build a new 5some to move on to the next stage of the game, which would be super beneficial!

"monoceros"

- LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, both Conch and Isaiah are telling me that Samb is collecting people to vote for me, while Caeb and Devin are assuring me that "all is good, Samb weren't even online much, should be easy vote"..... eh....

"equuleus"

- long story short, CJ started a conversation about idols, and I stuck to my "not gonna tell anyone about it" thing. but in those cases I still wanna show as much of my solving logic as I can, to make it look real. so, I told him about the QR code, and eventually he found it. I got worried, and even considered pretending I had found it just now - cause if he knows I'm supposedly close in terms of clues, he could still suspect I found one later in the game. but then even after seeing that additional last clue, he still went with quite a wrong logic, even if I had hinted of what the true logic was. so now a) I hope my lies were believable enough, and b) not sure if I'm simply that smart or others can be simply that stupid where they shouldn't be anymore. cause to me, that last clue made things very obvious, if you were following things along.

I was expecting a swap at F14, but now I'm very hoping for one - and specifically, for the Horsey tribe to be obliterated, so that everyone thinks the Horsey idol is gone to the void as well. and I'm gonna stay up for the announcement tonight to maybe try and snatch an idol from another camp soon after the swap. gosh, that would be just absolutely ridiculous if I had 2 idols, and have already used one more. probably not actually gonna happen, but a girl, can't she? ;)

"equuleus"

- I really should keep a list of the red flags I've noticed with being so close to Catnip. Besides obviously trying to hold a firm grip over every vote she takes part in and clearly forming an alliance with Pendant and Samb (and only being honest about it when it's exposed in public), she's now trying to be slick in acting like she doesn't have an idol. She messages me earlier today asking me what my progress has been on this idol hunt, and in the process is acting very clueless like "Oh my gosh, this last clue is soooo difficult, I don't know what to do!" Like... girl. To quote a famous poker player and reality TV contestant, to her I'd like to say "You must be like silly." It's just pretty evident she's going around asking everyone about the idol to cover the fact she has it. I trust that Catnip has my back, but I know at some point I'm going to have to cut her loose, otherwise she may gain too much power and become almost impossible to eliminate. I do also find it quite interesting that Samb was just taken out of the game, but I can't say I'm very upset about it. It just means whatever Lithuania alliance that existed is crumbling and becomes less of a concern on my end.