Board Thread:Survivor 24: Caracol/@comment-186.94.43.39-20170607215537/@comment-30582641-20170608233909

Hey Luis, 

 

'''I’m not going to call you wrong. You have a lot of insight into my mind, possibly more than anyone else. You’re right that my game was spastic at times, and on point at others. But I think you’re still looking at my game through the wrong lens. '''

 

'''Here are some miscellaneous things I want to address first. '''

'''-First, you tell me if this is a better or worse excuse, but there was no strategy behind the Matt thing. I wasn't scrambling, or trying to make him feel safe, because I wasn't worried about my safety at all at that point. I really wanted to fuck with him is the honest to god truth. It was cocky and juvenile and also so much fun, because I had heard nothing pleasant about his character from you or anyone else. I had no idea then or ever that I was endangering myself; I just figured the vote was locked in and I could mess with the guy. '''

 

'''-The fight with Forrest I’m not going to contest with you. I already called it my single biggest regret in this game. '''

 

'''Hit-or-miss is a great way to describe my game, but what if I told you it was my gameplan by design? That’s only half a joke, because by design every single risk I took would have worked out for me. But my point is I took risks, lots of them. Some calculated risks failed me, and some risks weren’t even calculated. But my game was consistent, in that it was consistently inconsistent, so I don’t think painting a picture of me as blind as a bat is fair. Sorry I’ve kept it so general here, but you know every instance I’m referring to and I want to keep moving. '''

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Next on the agenda, I’ve been waiting for a moment to address my Blabbermouth persona, and since you’re holding it against me, now is as good a time to nip it in the bud as any. '''

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Things I ‘blabbed’ about: 

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 * <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">“Luis, the three amigos are a thing”- Obviously I meant to say that. 
 * <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">“Thiru wants me to play my idol.”- You held it against me as an example of my loose lips, Luis, but I told you that because I wanted the majority to know Thiru was playing both sides. Ultimately it didn’t make a difference because Thiru had already confided his plans in you, but that would have been a good move on my part to blow up Thiru’s game if only he didn’t beat me to the punch. But I digress. My point is, that was not me blabbing. 
 * <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">“Forrest, Hunter has the idol, not me.”- No one has explained to me yet why anyone ever doubted Hunter had the idol, lol. But once I understood that was what the majority believed, and this could be why people like you, Luis, wanted to work with him instead of working with me, I decided to switch it around in hopes that maybe I could control the flow of information between me and hunter instead. This one actually found its way back to Hunter and Anna through you, so I decided to lean into the blabbermouth image and played it off pretty well as a slip of the tongue IMO. 

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">    <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Not saying I never regretted everything I said. To approach Lori at Thiru’s vote was a mistake (Although damage was minimized because I played it off as fake desperation), and to tell Forrest there was a majority forming without him was a mistake, and I’ll own them. But none of those were blabs either, they were risks I took knowingly, like my successful ‘blabs’ were too. '''

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Now, for the main course: 

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">I feel like I can recall many instances where I ceded my own strength to you for the sake of our alliance. '''

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">-About Dwayne, remember, I had thought your preferred target was Christine, and although I preferred Dwayne I was prepared to vote Christine for that reason. When you protected Christine, only then did I suggest Dwayne’s name, because I refused to vote for Kristen. THEN, I didn’t throw you under the bus to Dwayne and took all the heat myself. Really the only people I felt I had to shield were Christine and Forrest and I used that complicated ass lie about a fake idol to try to put them at ease. I thought it was clever, but they can speak for themselves how effective it was or wasn’t. '''

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">-Anna and Hunter organized that initial alliance, not me, so please take back the line about how I should have set up a group chat. In fact, the most I imposed myself during that time was demanding that you be included, because that’s what we both wanted at the time. For what it’s worth it was also Anna’s call to not include Christine. That was me cashing in on my bonds with other allies, for your sake. It’s what I did for you because it was what you wanted. And then you decided it wasn’t what you wanted after all, and expected me to feel the same way. '''

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">-We’ve talked about this, but it’s as relevant as ever now: You asked me to blindside Hunter (Not Zach, IIRC). I said I didn’t want to do that. I offered to attempt to flush Hunter’s idol as a compromise and you agreed to it. That was me sacrificing a part of my game to strengthen yours. '''

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">You’re right that I like to micromanage when I have the means. You’re wrong that I didn’t have the sense to not let that define my every move. As far as I understood, I listened, we compromised, and you told me explicitly you were fine with that compromise. Where along the way I failed to listen to you, I don’t know, because you. Didn’t. Tell. Me. I can’t listen to what I can’t hear. I was never going to hold it against you, but accusing ME of not listening is going too far. '''

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">So Luis, here’s what I have to say: At every turn, I tried my hear your concerns, and find a middle. But the middle wasn’t good enough for you, so you flipped. So tell me again which one of us went out of our way and which of us didn’t listen. Tell me again who always had to get their way. Tell me again who had alliances with everyone inside the alliance (This one is unrelated, but it’s just not true- I had no Final 2s at that point and you were my closest ally). '''

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">No, Zach is not someone who barely cared for you. Zach rarely messages anyone unless he’s messaged first and I told you as much. No, you did not visibly want to save Forrest. I checked. You never once stood up for him like you did Christine to me. No, I did not isolate you. You said you were worried, and I immediately went to Hunter and Zach and told them to wisen up and go fucking talk to their own ally (No, those were not my exact words). I kept you in the loop on everything; you never said you needed or wanted a group chat (By your reasoning that was never my responsibility anyway because it wasn’t my alliance). If I didn’t do enough, YOU. DIDN’T. TELL. ME. '''

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Yeah, I get it, it’s poor form for a finalist to argue against a juror. But I’ve been nothing but honest with any other juror, and I’m not stopping here, in the name of transparency. And like I said, I’m in the mindset of clearing the air first, and winning second, and that means airing my grievances too. Respectfully, you’re being a hypocrite, and wrong about facts. Yeah, as a juror you can say whatever you damn well please: You have the right, but that doesn’t make it right. I told Christine I’d appreciate a response but she’s under no obligation to oblige, and she hasn’t obliged. I’m demanding one from you. Luis, you’ve always been my friend, but this is the most anger I have ever felt towards any single person in Caracol. No, it’s not personal right now. Even Hunter and I are still peachy behind the scenes, because we’re keeping it impersonal. But I care enough about receiving a response from you that it will become personal if you don’t. '''

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">You don’t have to take back anything. You can refute, or you can explain. If I’m wrong to be absolutely steaming bitter at you in this moment, tell me that. But if you’re not taking back anything, you have an uphill battle to convince me. '''

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">PS: You’ll also need to convince me you didn’t try to keep the target off of me for any other reason than it was practical for you, because of our connection. So don’t be so condescending. '''

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">​PPS: Anna, your response is one that I want to put a lot of thought into, so I hope you won't mind if I bump it behind Lori's response, which shouldn't take very long at all.