Only I Get To Be the Villain/Confessionals

Rainbow=

Day 33

 * -|Black and White=

Day 32
"yangra"

- I have been running this tribe with an iron fist, and now the key is balancing how to control this endgame so things play out the way I want, without everyone wising up to how well I’ve been playing. I’m currently leaning into all my insecurities, opening up about my anxiety with CJ, telling him I’m so afraid the jury hates me (even though Caeb reached out to me before the revote to tell me that I’ve been playing amazing and I have his vote) and just leaning into my awkwardness with Nicole, so she hopefully sees me as less threatening than some of these other players. I do worry that I overplayed my hand a bit last vote, because I think people might realize that Caeb went home basically just because I wanted him to. But that really was the right vote for me, so I don’t regret fighting for it, and hopefully Isaiah took more heat than I did. I’m terrified that I may end up being a final juror (I’ve been a third place final juror in 2 different orgs now) but if I can just stick the landing, I think I’ll have played an incredibly impressive game. Hope y’all are proud of me ❤️

"yangra"

- Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic

Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic

Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic

Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic

Another dimension, another dimension

Another dimension, another dimension

Another dimension, another dimension

Another dimension, another dimension

Another dimension, another dimension

Another dimension

Day 33
"yangra"

- Day 33 already! Fucking insane. I'm still in disbelief that I actually managed to tie my Age of Victoria placement. That was my first ever Survivor org, and after my messiness in Mount Vesuvius I never thought I would find this success in 703 again. Craaaaaaaaazy isn't it?

As for this vote, it seems that CJ is the obvious boot. He is a challenge beast and I can only imagine how well the jury views him. It's just so difficult to vote him out. He has been probably my closest friend this entire game, but I don't know if I can beat him in the end. This may be the last chance to take him out. Nathaniel has expressed interest in doing it, and Nicole has already mentioned in the past how she views him as gigantic threat. CJ also said he wants to go for Nicole, so I imagine I will make it out of here unscathed. Hopefully. We will see. Taking out CJ would be HUGE for me gamewise, but it would really hurt emotionally. I just gotta do what I gotta do to get as far as possible, and CJ is a huge threat, and I'm not sure how threatening Nicole will be in FTC.

I also assume idols are dead at this point. I know I'm beating a dead horse at this point, but who the fuck knows who has it. It would be hilarious if Devin had it. Or if Loren somehow had it lol. I don't think that it's much of an issue here as I don't think it would be smart of anyone to idol me out. And even though I have an agenda and moves I want to make, the Sandra "as long as its not me" slogan is always my go to.

"yangra"

- Conch and I are also by far the only people left who have voted correctly every single tribal council 🥳

"yangra"

- So either I've completely blown up my game, or I'm making the move of the game. Basically what happened is that CJ had nearly sweet talked me into voting out Isaiah. Isaiah, who's been in my pocket the entire game. And then I started talking to Nathaniel, and comparing notes. And we realized that CJ has been telling us the same things, making us the same promises the entire game. And I do think CJ has had a role in the fact that I've had no votes against me all game, so maybe he really was being real with me. But I've also learned that Nathaniel and Isaiah each thought he was being completely real with them, just as he was planning to vote them out.

The only skeptic is Nicole, and I probably overplayed my hand a bit with her and came off like an absolute crazy person trying to convince her of what's happening. I think he has her duped harder than most of us, which makes sense since I imagine she's the person he actually wants to take to the end. And maybe she's been reporting all this back to him and I'm fucked. But if I'm going to make this move, and it works, it's going to be the move of the game. And if I make the move of the game, and such a visible move at that, I'd rather people see me make it chaotically. I can't be the threat who's dangerous for playing such a clean game if I'm this messy and hysterical in Nicole's DMs.

Martynas, I'm sorry. You were right all along. Sure, most of your reads were completely off, but you were right about CJ. And maybe you were right that he does have the idol, and one of us is about to get idoled out. But even if that persons me, I'd rather go down taking a shot at the puppetmaster than having someone else's fist up my ass. Only I get to be the villain.