Board Thread:Survivor 29: Hallasan/@comment-5277627-20180109074830/@comment-33311709-20180109200559

Hey Blake, reading this sincerly hurs, but I 100% get where you're coming from. I know a lot of things I did may seem messed up, but hopefully this clarifies most of it:

Regarding the Fakeness: As I noted in Jake's jury speech, my whole gamplan was to get to know everyone as much as possible. Was I fake to a degree? That could be argued for hours on end, but I genuinely did enjoy getting to know a lot about you on a personal level. I went from Skype games to Facebook games for a reason, and it was to get to know new people and take on new strategies.

When you elected to be voted out, it really hurt. In some strange sense, I viewed you as a younger brother to me in this game (who kept flirting me? LMAO :p). While I did have alternative alliances, up until the merge stage of the game, YOU were my closest ally to that point, and that's not a lie.

I invested so much time in getting to know you, and after awhile, it wasn't because of the game whatsoever. It was because I felt as though talking to you gave me a sense of relief from the other stress-related incidents in my life

Regarding the Hyprocrisy: .The Max vote was an interesting one. In all reality, your logic made perfect sense. I had zero issues with Max, except for the fact that I was just closer to Felipe. In any game of Survivor, you aim to keep the numbers, and that's what I felt I needed to do. I didn't know Max all too well, so he was simply a wild card for me in all manners. Would I rather attempt to convince you to vote with me and keep someone I'm close to, or take a risk by keeping someone who's close to you?

The way I went about it was so wrong, and I admit that fully. I was being a jerk about it, and I shouldn't have pressured you to vote a way you didn't want to. In the end, I was just focused on maintaining the numbers, and felt like my odds were ehanced with Felipe, rather than Max.

In terms of Dan, this was at the stage of the game where Ally was really emerging as a partner more and more. I needed to feed her the thoughts of others so WE could make the best decision possible. I'm not sure where "feeding others your name" came from though, because ultimately, I was the one who was trying to get others to keep you around from time to time.

Based on our relationship, I would have done just about anything for you, but because you weren't thrilled about my early decisions, I needed to find a way to advance myself.

Regarding my Rudeness: First and foremost, I want to apoligize to you. If I had any regrets about this game, it would be how I treated you due to frustration. We had altering opinions, but in no way shape or form is it right to make someone feel "below me".

In the Dan vote, when I messaged you, it was simply because I was proud that I protected us for another round. I had ZERO idea on how hurt you were at the moment, and if I had, I would attempted to talk out our ongoing issues. I would honestly rather trade first place for your friendship down the road, so I understand every point you're making.

In regards to touchy subjects, I told you prior that I was voting you for all of the subjects, even without reading the questions. This was an instance where I was limited on time to compete, and I also didn't want bridges to be burnt with others. I didn't think you would take the results as seriously as you did, and had I known you were upset, I would have tried harder in the comp.

IN CONCLUSION (please read Blake): 

Like I said before, I genuinely cared for you, and was willing to do anything it took to get us further in the game. In fact, that goal somewhat possessed me, because I cared about our duo that much. I attempted to lie and manipulate my way to the end, and in the process, I probably lost our friendship.

No BS? I enjoyed talking to you more than anyone else I have in any ORG I've competed within. I have a hard time seeing when people are upset, so it was my lack of knowledge in terms of how you were feeling that may cost me this game.

Even after the season, I'd love to keep in touch and get to know you on a personal level some more. You're a great guy who didn't deserve to be treated poorly by myself. I fully accept the responsibility of upsetting you and potentially ruining ORGs for you. It was no way in my intention, and as noted, I'm genuinley sorry for every flaw that arose from my gamplay. :(

Take it easy.