Board Thread:Survivor 29: Hallasan/@comment-5001881-20180109195325/@comment-31430415-20180109204307

Hi Felipe! Thank you for the kind words in your speech, it was really nice to hear right now.

I did indeed upset a lot of people, and I’m definitely starting to have regrets about the way I played the game. At final 4, I was mostly mad that Cammy lied to me for no reason. We talked about it in PMs after and I hope everything is good with her now on a personal level, but I was hurt at the time, and I probably should’ve contained that better. I had been keeping it ‘bottled up’ because Devon had already told me everything she was saying to him, and I gave her a bunch of opportunities to come clean to me in PMs and she didn’t, and I was really hurt by that. If she had told me she thought it was better for her game to vote against me, I would’ve understood that because from a game perspective (ignoring the jury’s response to me…) I was definitely her biggest competition, particularly in the final immunity, and I can see why she would want me out. So in that specific case, I think it was definitely more lashing out because I was hurt that she lied, and less because I didn’t get my way.

I think the only thing I really would’ve done differently is better social game. If I’m going to be completely honest, I don’t think I could’ve possibly played better strategically. Everything that I needed to happen happened other than final 5, and that was a strategic oversight on my part, but I recovered from that. Clearly the relationships that I had with people are my problem here. I couldn’t fix the pregame stuff, not really. If I were to refuse to work with Jake and Cammy and cut them out of my game plan, I would be receiving a speech about how they knew me before the game and I completely ignored them and hurt them. There’s no winning in that kind of situation, it’s just the hand that I was dealt and I don’t see any way that I could have fixed that. I’m sorry if people that I didn’t know beforehand feel like I treated them less than the people I did, or if anyone I was allied with feels like I chose a pregame relationship over them. That was never intentional at any point, I just chose to work closely with the people I felt could get me the farthest. I don’t see Devon being criticized for any of this. I was called out for having a pre-existing relationship with him (which we didn’t), but he was never called out for having a relationship with me. He was never called out for having a pregame relationship with Blake, who hosted him in Deception Island. He was never called out for having a pregame relationship with Jose, who he played with in Deception Island. He’s not receiving nearly the amount of flack for his pre-season relationship with you as I am for mine with Cammy. It feels targeted towards me, and maybe I’m incorrect in feeling that way, but it hurts.

Thank you again for the speech, Felipe. It was very kind and I appreciate it. I’m sorry if my social game with you slacked at any point. I hope that I can talk with you more after the game, because I think we have a lot in common and I’d like to get to know you better.