I Don't Need That Mess Right Now/Confessionals

Day 18
"floreal"

- Well, that tribal did not go anything close to according to plan. BUT, I've at least made sure why it happened, and know that it wasn't an actual attempt to blindside me - I was just asleep as the tribal decision changed. Or, at least that's the story Torsa and Jared are feeding me. I'm taking it with a very large grain of salt, because I don't trust them anymore - if they wanted me to believe their story, they shouldn't have done Rhys so dirty. Girl, if you're gonna lie, lie consistently. I might play dumb for you, but if you believe it? You're gonna have a bad time.

"motu"

- When Floreal walked around that corner and I saw that Mikey was voted out, I was pissed. I really wanted to reconnect with the other 3 Anau come merge, so that doesn't help my game at all. I suspect that Ally and Jarred could be running things over there, and I am making it my goal to separate them at the first possible opportunity.

"motu"

- After the high of winning tribe immunity last challenge, I was expecting us to continue trying to win and having safety, but NO a cursed double tribal and individual immunity/reward challenge came and I'm NOT liking this at all. I'm currently at my wits end with the challenge deadline nearing closer.

I stayed up late playing and got myself a pretty decent score. However, I want Aromal to win because I feel like he'd be targeted if I were safe. BUT ALSO, I don't feel safe in this tribe either to not go and have immunity. Ah!!!

Maybe I should invest in looking for the idol some more. As if I haven't already done that sdghhs SAVE ME

Also I hate the bubble bee game after staying up playing it, it drove me insane.

"floreal"

- Ok so right now I'm excited that I got to stay, but at the same time I'm really nervous for this next tribal so I'm gonna go for immunity. Toby went right to my messages when results came up apologizing and saying Rhys/Jared/Joey and Torsa are an alliance BUT THEN he goes right to Joey saying I'm throwing him under the bus and saying Joey's in a secret alliance. So personally I want Toby to go next cause I don't need that mess right now. I'm gonna try and see where Rhys is right now because I adore him and if he was actually on the outs I'm hoping we can stick together. But for now I just need to put these bees in their bubbles and hope for the best.

"floreal"

- This double tribal has me shaken. My so called alliance has told me that it was a one time thing in leaving me out ,but I could care less what they tell me. They broke my trust, and I'm not just gonna sit by and let them pick off Toby next.

Toby is someone I can work with going fotward and has been straight up with me more than most people have on this tribe. So if I want Tony to stay, either I need to get ally and Christine to vote with me and Toby which would be ideal. My other option is to get people to take out Ally or Christine .But I don't want to leave my fate in the 3 people who betrayed me.

The only problem I have in getting Christine and ally on board would be that Christine is weary about Toby because he voted for her last tribal. So I'm gonna need to figure out how to make them make up before tribal because if not Toby may be going home.

"motu"

- OK FINE ZAK HERE'S YOUR CONFESSIONAL - IF I DONT WIN IMMUNITY IM SCREWED

END OF CONFESSIONAL

"motu"

- FIRST CONFESSIONAL OF THE GAME I LOVE IT

My fave in this game is Torsa hands down. We slayed that first tribe together. Honestly wow. Anyways, is this game slightly misogynistic like...why are the girls the ones getting targeted and getting voted out. We tried to get Jon out because apparently there's this alliance between Jon, Aromal, Jake, and Tate and I was like how about we not do that bois. But it didn't work and Tata had to go instead because I accidently submitted my vote too early which I totally regret. Now we have a double tribal coming up and I am SHOOK. Like I am not ready for this. I'm a little nervous just because I am definitely not getting immunity because I am terrible at this challenge #savethebees. and I have a slight feeling that I'm going to be targeted...idk I'm trying to be like get the threats out and i'm hoping that they won't see me as a threat...yikes. idk who i want out. probably jon or tate but honestly both of them are great people soooooooo idk

"motu"

- Well I feel completely devastated right now. It was between Asa and me and Asa won immunity. Ting Ting is unwilling to go to a tie. My only hope is finding an idol in 24 hours but thats never gonna happen. I can't believe how badly I fucked up my second chance

"motu"

- Well what a rollercoaster of a day omg asa coming through <3 <3 I'm a bit embarrassed that I got super sad over the potential of going home but eh it also shows that I'm really dedicated to this game and putting my everything into it. Hopefully this idol is real holy shit that'd be the biggest cockblock ever if this was fake. Asa told me she's gonna vote me to make us appear not close and I am completely fine with that. I think I'm going to vote Tate, because he's still mad at me over the Tata tribal plus he could potentially have alliances on the other side that could vote against me at the merge.

Day 19
"floreal"

- Confessional: I am definitely excited that last round went exactly how I hoped. Usually I don't really make strategic "big moves" but I did and it went amazing. I'm pretty sure Mikey had an idol and he was a huge threat so getting him out was good for my game. I was most likely planning on getting Toby out this tribal but he won immunity which means I can't. He just comes off very intelligent and he's always talking to me in riddles it feels like so I was worried but now I have to try to work with him for when the merge comes. I have no idea what I want to do now though. As far as I know it's me, Torsa, and Joey in the middle then we can either decide to go with Christine & Ally or Toby & Rhys. I know 100% I'm not voting Christine out because I saved her last round so it would be pointless to just vote her out and I get along with her the most out of those 4. Ally is pretty inactive and not the greatest alliance member so far but I could also use that to my advantage. And with Rhys I feel like in a sense getting him out would be the safest move because the final 4 alliance screwed him over last round but I feel bad because he did say he still wanted to work with and if he's being honest then I'll feel like an asshole so the emotional side of me is getting to me. There's also the risk of him lying and flipping but then in another scenario maybe if we keep him he'll stay with us and so would Toby. There's a ton of ideas going around right now and the paranoia is definitely settling in for me and I feel crackedT right now but that helped me last round so who knows? Maybe it could help me again. Probably not but I'm trying to keep a positive outlook. *twitches*

"motu"

- I FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL HOLY SHIIIIIIIT

THIS IS THE PINNACLE OF MY CAREER I'M SCREAMING I FOUND IT

THANKS SHANE POWERS, WHOEVER YOU ARE!

Aromal is clearly the target of the majority, because he ruffled some feathers by trying to get away with lying to people. He's been busy like a bee (reference to the bubble bee challenge) getting Ting Ting to force a tie, but she's worried about the possibility of rocks, so in order for her vote secured on our side, I would have to give her my immunity. As much as I love women and as much as I love Ting Ting, I can't help but feel nervous about that. It would free up the possibility of me getting targeted as a vote, and Ting Ting could easily just flip again without having to worry about repercussion because she has immunity.

So, I told Aromal that we should search for the idol together so that one of us could play it on him! Because I like him and think he's really cool and it sucks that he's upset and worried and being targeted ughadsfg

Now that I myself actually found it, I don't know. I do still want to do it, because Aro is a good guy that just made some wild messy errors asdfg. I don't know if it would be any good in the long run.

Rationale of using idol on Aro:

He is my friend and I want him to stay in the game with that bias

He would be indebted(?) to me and work together with me finding the merge idol as well as vote with me

I could make a BIG MOVE™ and it would be good as a presentation in the finals

I can take someone out that may prove troublesome in the future

To be blunt, he could be my shield because of the messy stuff he did

Rationale of NOT using idol on Aro:

He is my friend but I don't know if I should let personal feelings get in the way of the actual game, it may be dulling my conscience

He doesn't owe anything to me really, if it would better his game to take me out, I believe he would because it's a smart thing to do

The BIG MOVE™ could make me liable to be a target when I enter the merge, and I would have no idol as a crutch, instead I'd be inclined to immunity-fuck my way to the end, which wouldn't seem an appealing case to get to the end with

I'll have to keep ruminating on this

"motu"

- I'm gonna fucking do it, I'm gonna give the idol to Aromal

I feel the adrenaline in my veins and I don't care if this is dumb I'm here for a good time maybe not a long time, LIVE EVERY MOMENT TO THE FULLEST

I'M THINKING I'M GONNA VOTE HIM SO IT'LL END IN A FABULOUS 1-0 BABYYY

But really I do want him to stay and usually he does go far in games iirc. If I give him the idol and vote him it won't look like I've had a part in this even though I did, so we can keep working inconspicuously together. >B^D?? I'm ready for death

"floreal"

- So Toby win immunity which is good because I think he would have gone if he didnt. However I'm worried about myself, I don't know if my alliance who fucked me over last round, atenbeing honest.

At this point I have the right to be paranoid, I voted for ally last round so it could easily be me getting votes l. However I'm told it's been Christine , but because of timezones I haven't been able to talk to many people properly so I'm going off the word of others at this point.

I can't do anything besides vote Christine right now. Toby has finalised his vote which means I can't flip the vote on one of the 3 of torsa Jared or joey. So I'm just sitting pretty untill results and that annoys me that I can't do much for my own game. Even if I'm acctually in trouble it sucks for me.

"floreal"

- i'm gonna fucking suffocate myself