Board Thread:Big Brother 5/@comment-26137519-20171217200824/@comment-5578020-20171217224110

Hey Alex i want to start off by my intention wasn't to hurt you and i was upset when you told me that i did because i hope you know that i really care about you a lot even when we both tried to fuck each other over!

Now time to use that famous line from Danganropa "No that's wrong!"

Non-existent for virtually the entire pre-jury except that time you were HOH Week 1, hardly into the game until you were evicted the first time and came back and suddenly coming to life at Final 7V2.0, just to seemingly continue playing Bryce's game instead of just yours.

My plan coming into the game was to play under the rader and be a floater until its time for me to strike. For the first few weeks of the house i wanted to make sure i was friendly with a lot of people because the only people i really knew in this house were Nathan and you. What i said in my speech my two biggest plans were 1: dont make a move just to make a move and 2: dont put your hands in to many cookie jars.

The part where you are wrong is that i was playing Bryce's game instead of my own we both made decisions together and i am pretty damn glad that i aligned with Bryce i would not change that for the world he was loyal and a great friend.

He won HOHS but we talked about it to see which was better for our game. Also i could say the same thing about Erin with you. Erin could rant about me being weak and that I don't deserve to be here, however, did she really play her own game? One of the reasons that she did not use the veto is that "I just dont want to see him go this week. He’s said he has gone home in 7th a bunch of times like he is cursed" When it was the best move for her because since shes sooooooooo good at comps she would of probably had a better chance of winning but she decided to think it was a good idea to KEEP THE TWO STRONGEST jury threats, It also surprises me that she evicted me over somebody strong as you who could easily win the whole game. That honestly baffles me because it looked in my eyes that they were playing for second place when if it was down to her and bryce for eviction i would evict bryce so I could of have had a better chance of winning. Also i was not fully playing the game for Bryce at F6 when Alietta was deciding to evict me or Natalie which they almost evicted me i wasnt afraid to say "Hey i would nominate Bryce and Erin for eviction if i won the next HOH" and i was not afraid to throw him under the bus later in the game, i can see why you may think i played the game for Bryce but i am a pretty loyal ally until its time to cut somebody and once again im pretty happy that i got to be allied with Bryce however i would do anything to win if i had to evict bryce i would evict Bryce just so i can win!

I have had issues strategizing with you at points, you were hesitant in telling me what you were going to do during the Alietta/Domonique vote, in the event of a tie, and I WAS considering voting Ali out that time, but your uncertainty made me shift gears and tell Natalie it's hopeless.

Oh boy! I agree i was hesitant because Domonique and Alietta both were telling me the same things i wanted to keep both of them in i was to overconfident that round because i knew Natalie or Bryce would veto my nominations when Erin was won it was hopeless because she wouldn't use it on either Domonique or Alietta which this ended up being a very good move for me! Erin pushed Alietta more on my side and together, Alietta and I would have each other's backs keeping them in ultimately helped me a lot because if Domonique was still in i dont think they would keep me over Natalie. I made a mistake and i ended up fixing it during this game i think i grew as a player of big brother from somebody who was like what the fuck is a big brother to hey i know what i am doing!

'''In certain moments, you just "listened" to my arguments that I said to you and gave me the response that "You would think abou it", rather than giving me things, that would keep the discussions flowing. It just seemed as if you really had no interest in playing the game with me what-so-ever and you were just waiting for me to die.

Final 5, as I tried to strike a deal with you, as I tried to campaign to you for your vote, instead of being straight up with me, you once again told me that you were "thinking about it" and then within TEN minutes of conversation, you said that "I don't think it would make sense to me to go back on something I told myself coming back into the game" as well as "I voted 30 minutes ago", which was some time BEFORE you told me that "Your vote was not locked yet", I think that's frankly playing with my emotions at a point, where I really already kinda figured that I was screwed and I was just giving my very last efforts in order to stay and that's something that really turned me off on my way out of the game. '''

If I am being honest I was almost swayed by you because you really made really good points about Alietta's game and they weren't weak at all probably one of the strongest players here if it was Erin and Alietta at the end my vote goes to Alietta. The reason i did not vote to evict Alietta that round because i knew there was a chance that i can easily beat Alietta at final HOH when with you i really had no chance because you are just so good at all three parts of big brother and you would sweep almost everyone in a jury vote if i kept you to stay honestly it would of let my emotions get to me and that ruins everything i care about you a lot Alex i hope you're feeling better now also i did beat Alietta in part 1 and part 3 so it worked out for me in the end and it gave me a chance of winning. Also i dont think a final deal at final 5 wouldnt work for us.

'''I'm not saying that you were not straight up at all in this game, there certainly were situations in which you were, but it really had been in the worst possible moments, as they could've easily screwed you up. You did not hesitate to tell the entire house, that you had the MVP Temptation, when you EASILY could've pointed fingers at Bryce and make him look even worse, than he already looked to people (but again, I believe you were playing the game for him, so this seems out of question for you to do) AND you didn't even HESITATE to tell me, that you were full-on guns blazing ready to give me 7th place.

Don't get me wrong, you got respect from me by doing that, but strategically I just really wanted to get you the fuck out of this game, if given the chance lmao and that's not a good way of trying to protect yourself inside the game.

I told a couple people that i was wanting to get you out and when you asked me “Are you targeting me” it felt stupid for me to say no because i knew at that very moment that Erin threw me under the bus for that. I had a lot of flaws in this game but unlike Erin i knew how to improve myself and each week i found myself improving and my chances to get to the end get higher and higher.

'''‘’The thing, that I would like to know from BOTH OF YOU concerning my eviction week is why the FUCK you thought it was necessary to kick me, while I was already on the ground. It doesn't matter if it was intentional or unintentional, both of you made me believe, that I had at least a CHANCE of surviving the week one way or another and both of you proceeded to crush that so mercilessly, that I was in a matter slightly disgusted at that, so if you could both please tell me why you had done what you did, I would appreciate that.’’'''

Like i said i almost considered keeping you however the last thing i want to do is to fuck your feelings over and see you upset at the point i was thinking oh no i may have lost a friend i do really consider you a really close friend i had so much fun talking to you in this game even if we were on different sides and i had so much fun with out of games stuff when we used to get on calls also talking to you about bali and hosting with you on bali was super fun. I get why you were mad because you worked your ass off and you survived so many hurdles this game you deserve so much credit and I care about you so much! I did not mean to hurt you in any way i hope you’re okay.

The last thing i want to say is about in the first paragraph when there is duos in games there is the alpha and the beta but i truly think two minds are better than one, that me and bryce really worked well together once again i am happy that i played this game with Bryce even if i would cut him if it means a chance of winning.