I Survived the Ides of March/Confessionals

Day 24
"ralfiki"

- "So I guess I need a lot of explaining to do as to what the fuck happened last tribal and how not only did I end up getting five votes, playing the Ouani idol and giving away the Ralfiki idol location to save Zach. So in short: Vivor tried to backstab me and did a little bit of an anti-Joan rally going around telling people all the game stuff we've talked, fully suspecting that I had the idol and thinking that I wouldn't find out about it. Luckily, out of NOWHERE, Aro who I've been talking so much shit about lately became the holy savior, as he snitched to Linus and Zach what was going on and they proceeded to warn me. I was like, cool, no biggie, I've got the idol and I can just snatch the merge idol after the results are up and nobody will even suspect I have it. However, for some reason I cannot fully understand, Linus and Zach tried to get more numbers, specifically Drew and Nathan who I had not the strongest of bonds with, and soon enough Drew snitched, so here we are with ten minutes left to the voting deadline and Aro tells Zach and Linus that the plan is fucked and they are splitting on Zach. I am feeling like shit because I don't want Zach to go, he literally put his whole game on jeopardy to try and save me. I try and see if Linus has the Moya idol, and he freaks out a bit and leaves me on read, not good. Zach then tells me that Linus does have the Moya idol and he is trying to get Linus to play it, but by that point I don't want to risk it, so I confess that I've cracked the merge idol code but cant fetch it until an hour after the results go up. Zach and Linus can't either, so who has to fetch it? Aromal. I am uncertain as to give Aro the code because I had been so distrustful of him for the past few days, but I realise that if I do this I will actually solidify a foursome that can potentially survive a 4-6 battle with Linus' idol and Aro being a double agent, and if not I can just murder Aro if he joinks the idol for himself. So I give it to him, 5 minutes left. Zach has the idol, he plays it. The results go up, in a vote that would've been 5-3-3 is suddenly 0-0-3 with Vivor going home.

Soon after the people that had voted for me or Zach are in either one of three types, the passive agressive unpleasant types such as Drew and Grace who just leave me on read after a short conversation with them ends up with them thinking I was in the wrong and them CLEARLY pissed off I took out Vivor, or people feeling GUILT, REMORSE, REGRET, SHAME, REPENTANCE such as Augusto and Mihai, and the more calm but approachable types that weren't either bubbling with anger too hard or too apologetic such as Nathan and Rob. I am particularly pissed off at Mihai, because I was the ONLY player that literally had his back throughout the whole pre-merge. I was literally the only person that literally compensated his shit social game and took the target off him in both the Loren and Lex boots. I even fucking dragged him into an alliance with Zach and Linus despite those two not being too close to him. EVERYBODY was ready to see him go home Day 3 onwards, but despite that he chose to not even tell me shit when I asked him if everything was alright thirty minutes before the tribal deadline, fully knowing that he was in on the plan. I told him all this, I clearly made him know that I was a loyal person, and that I was the only person that had always watched his back because those are the FACTS. Rob and Augusto wanted to vote out his ass on Day 3 for the love of God. I am really bitter at him for this lack of basic gratitude, and even though I'm feigning that I'll forgive him if he does work with my side, I will not. He probably won't anyways, he will most likely just get me, Zach or Linus out next tribal, get betrayed on 6th or 7th place, or maybe even make Final Tribal Council where I will ensure he does not win a single jury vote. The last conversation we had was yesterday, when I told him in the morning I was taking small naps because I hadn't slept the night before due to my mother having to wake up early to go to the hospital (the surgery went fine btw) and despite being online most of the day yesterday and me seeing him online, and I seeing him online, he didn't even try to message me. In fact, I messaged him a hi just as I was starting to type this confessional and thirty minutes later despite him being online, he hasn't even messaged me back. Aro told me that Rob and Drew were suspecting him the hardest of being the leaker that warned Zach, and that Mihai is probably trying to just create distance to try and prove his innocence. What sort of fucking tool mentality is that? The only thing you are ensuring is that I'll try and blow up your name because you are truly doubling down on betraying me after imploring me how sorry you were and how shit you felt after we first got the results where I survived the Ides of March where he of all people was fucking Brutus.

Anyways.

I think the odds of me, Zach or Linus going home this round stand at around 50%. What I first thought of doing with Aro as the infiltrator in the other group is that he could ensure that they split the votes to try and make a 4-3-3 vote, where Aro positions himself in the foursome, flips, and we turn it into a 3-3-4 vote against Grace's or Drew's oh-so-offended-by-the-underdogs-revolting asses. However, despite Aro at first glance being the person other than Rob, Grace and Drew with the least odds of being the snitch, they could always try and stack the numbers against us just because the distrust in that bunch might be too high for them to trust each other to create a split when its down to the wire. In this case we can always play Linus' idol, because he actually confessed to me that he had it and apologised for freaking out. Potentially we could also find the rehidden merged idol since the four of us are searching for it together and have already knocked out a third of the guesses, and if we are all efficient we can knock down more than half. We already have one number so the odds seem pretty good. I don't know if Grace or the people in the other side trust each other enough to share idols after I proved myself as the reason why you don't share your idol guesses with peope that don't owe you shit, but in theory four people searching together will outnumber whatever search party they put together. Lastly we could just get one, two, or three of Nathan, Mihai and Augusto to flip and either create a tie or a majority, but I think this is unlikely due to Mihai being such a scaredy rat, Nathan probably knowing his odds will be better in the other side, and Augusto MIGHT actually flip because I've literally spent HOURS talking to him strategy and game with him ever since the results came out, and I think he might know that I would actually have his back if he did flip, because unlike Mihai, him voting for me was fair and square, and he's actually been open to me ever since, again, unlike Mihai. The only thing I hope is that Aro's cover isn't blown just yet, he is by far the most important player in this game right now. I think that he is in too deep to flip back to the other side and despite his underwhelming social game the fact that he's been the KEY player in both me and Zach surviving the last tribal and he will still be key this vote and probably next should comfort his ego to think he wouldn't be viewed as a goat, which he wouldn't.

But yeah, people have been quiet with me, and that sucks because it means that the only way out will be for me, Linus, Zach and Aro to just try some fuckery up until the final 8 with Linus' idol and the rehidden idol, upon that point it might come down to a rock draw. Things look grim for sure, but I think that maybe just maybe I can somehow reach my 100th day in 703 Survivor."

"ralfiki"

- Anyways love somehow being the middle man between almost every cluster for last vote, yet somehow coming out of this whole ordeal kinda blameless? Like who knew that being stuck at work would absolve me from the blame of almost everyone fdjskfdsj. Maybe it’s good social game, maybe it’s goatiness, maybe it’s maybelline. In all seriousness though, someone who seems to have not escaped blame for that vote is Drew. Right now Drew is getting kinda pinpointed as the leak for the split vote plan that apparently occurred during my shift. Personally, I don’t quite care that the leak sent home Vivor - I made up with the dude, but at the end of the day, he was still a huge threat so it wasn’t a particularly heartbreaking loss. That being said, if Drew was the leak it poses two problems: First of all, it means that I’m going to have trouble trusting Drew with pertinent information going forward because there’s a good chance it flows back to Linus, which will immediately flow back to Zach. And second of all, it means that people are starting to maybe not want Drew in this game if they see him as untrustworthy with any piece of valuable information, which like, losing my closest ally at Final 10 isn’t exactly the best scenario for me as one can imagine. What’s even more frustrating is that I’m basically tied up with work for the next few days which means I can’t even put in as much work as I want to do damage control on Drew’s behalf - it’s just...too. Fuckin. Much. man.

Day 25
"ralfiki"

- "hi baby. lets catch up?

So obv last round didnt go exactly as planned. Sure, Vivors gone and we all stayed, but we had to use two idols and put myself on the outs of the entire cast. It put me in a really shitty spot, but Aro and Linus are sticking by me through thick n thin, and we got to work figuring out what we could do.

initially, it appeared as though moya 6 were actually gonna regroup, and get drew out. Which like, Im okay with. But then, it looked like itd be another split between joan and i. Then some of the fuckiest fuckshit ive ever read came up - a split vote between Joan and...........fuckin Drew.

Drew.

Someone in an entirely different alliance.

Drew.

Someone that wouldnt even be in conversation with Joan

Drew.

So we got this idea. They do the split, right? Its Aro, Rob, Mihai and Grace on Drew, and Augusto, Drew and Nathan on Joan, and they think well vote Drew too. only aro, mihai and rob rly know about the split. a cool 7-3, and a change of dynamic. But we see we can exploit that. Aro offers to blow his cover and go 4-3-3, where we kill Grace. Its a perfect bait and switch, and it puts us in power as we can probably scoop up a disenchanted Drew and make a new 5 person majority.

But then Joan decided to do Joan things, and that all went out the window.

You see, Joan started thinking that the logic didnt add up, and that he should.... leak his own plan of killing grace to someone? Idk who he told, but the plan somehow got back to grace, who fkn interrogated me at carmel snickerdoodle cookiepoint about it. I ofc played dumb and that ""Joan is a whackjob"" role, and then we caught up on old ouani dynamics and like....i kinda sorta trust grace again? Idk she could be playing me but like she was rly convincing with some of the stuff she said and it sounds like she wouldnt be opposed to workin w me again if the time comes.

So right now since that went downhill and ppl wanna vote joan out, we are currently waiting to see if drew or joan is going home and voting accordingly. im not getting left out of the majority this time. even if it means taking joan out. I trust him 100%, honestly more than i trust linus and maybe aro, but he is undeniably bringing my game down with our duo stigma, and if i need to drop that to have a chance to make it to the endgame, i wont hesitate to do so. id rather slash him at like, 8 or 7 than now, but i gotta do what i gotta do.

im a lil all over the place rn so this is prob short and segmented but strat is still happening as we speak and joan might be wanting to pull drew in rn so idk wtf is goin down for real but its another whackjob round. i hope yall appreciate this cause this dynamic ass voting bloc ass gameplay is stressing me the fuck out dog. for real."

"ralfiki"

- i dont know what day it is, but it is the second merge tribal and it is a mess again. I really think that Grace is manipulating rob and he doesnt see it. My plan for this tribal was to take out Drew because he is a snake who shared info with Zach and Linus and because wannani 3.0 needs to be separated. I also feel like Joan and Grace will never get together since they hate each other, so if Joan stay, me, rob and aro can still play in the middle. Also, Joan will always be a target and shield that we can use. Also, if joan goes, linus and zach are mad at us and they could easily join forces with people like Drew, nathan grace and augusto and have majority. So, there are sooo many reasons to keep Joan and I am so frustrated that Rob and Aro get manipulated by Grace. I might go home, I had a bad feeling all day, but if I do, I wont be surprised. Also, love you, James.

"ralfiki"

- I pray I survive this, I want this so fucking bad.

"ralfiki"

- "Like always, a ton of shit happened since my last confessional (the Thanos one doesn't count), so I'm gonna recap some shit before I get to the clownery that happened yesterday.

So, the last tribal. AHHH. A literal top 3 org moment for me. So the plan was for. a group of 6 (Alex, me, Rob, Grace, Drew, Mihai) to blindside Joan. Then I formed another group of 6 (me, Zach, Linus, Nathan, Drew, Augusto) from both Moya 3 and Wanani 3 and tried to put a hit on Alex. I'm gonna call it the Strikeforce because it completely fell apart without even going to a tribal, similar to the one from David vs Goliath. The Wanani part of the Strikeforce started getting cold feet as we started approaching deadline, and claimed they felt better with Joan out. So Zach admittedly got a bit too aggressive, which led to Drew ratting him out to Alex. Alarm bells started ringing for Alex, and he got Drew, Grace, and Mihai to throw some votes on Zach.

So I'm an hour and 50 minutes into my 6 hour shift at work, I'm a bit worried about tribal but I figure as long as Joan doesn't play an idol everything should work out fine. My manager tells me to go on break early, because one of my coworkers called in sick and they'd need me later. I was a bit annoyed but I went anyway, opened up messenger and saw a message from Zach saying ""I told Joan to play his idol and we're gonna idol out Vivor"". SHIT SHIT SHIT. I told Zach that they were throwing votes at him, and if Joan played his idol he'd be the one going home. THIS IS 6 MINUTES BEFORE DEADLINE. I tried to convince Linus to play his idol but that doesn't work. Then Zach tells me Joan has the combination to the merge idol. Luckily I have one guess left, so I get it to Zach and he idols out Alex. Whew

So the fallout of this turns out to be pretty sweet, because no one suspected me of being the one who told Zach to play the idol. Most people suspected Drew, and some Mihai. However this crazy vote forged an alliance of 4 that will never be broken (until I decide to flip again ;) )between me, Joan, Zach, and Linus.

Fastforward to this round. Touchy Subjects went.....not great for me, but eh there's still plenty of game left to be played. The 4 of us come up with this crazy idea to let the majority split the vote and to put 4 votes on Grace which would send her home. I successfully get Mihai and Rob to agree to a split vote. Rob, Mihai, Grace, and me would vote for Drew while Nathan, Augusto, and Drew would vote for Joan. It was a great plan, with the only drawback being it would out me as the rat. But I don't care much because honestly after Touchy Subjects I kinda need people to see that I'm playing hard. HOWEVER around an hour later, Grace messages me ""I heard Joan was targeting me"". SHIT. Turns out Joan got so paranoid about the split that he tried to get Mihai to vote Grace, which resulted in Mihai telling Grace. So Grace is now hell bent on getting Joan out, but Mihai still wants Drew out.

So it comes down to Rob, but after wanting Drew out for 2 days he suddenly wants Joan out. Why? because Grace has a tight grip on his balls, and he doesn't wanna lose her as an ally. So we both decide to let it tie and talk it out over the next 24 hours. So that's how we got here."

"ralfiki"

- I am disappointed. I feel like this round I really wanted to discuss with people, to share ideas and reasons as to someone should go and I ended up being the one who discussed and for that now people think I am the guy who tells everyone what they wanna hear, so yeah 😐 and I dont know how to vote, I feel like Aro might have been the one who leaked info last round just because he was decided to vote Drew and because Joan told me he talked with Aro and I was like since when is Aro talking with you, so yeah I think it was him and if it was him, those 3 are actually a foursome and that is scary. On the other hand, if I keep drew, zach linus and aro will be mad at me and add that to Grace and Drew already being mad at me and you have your next boot.

"ralfiki"

- "Talk to my bby, what’re your thoughts at this point me ** Soon™️ 😮 1 so my thoughts at this point? im voting drew out lmao the stigma of me and joan being a duo is so strong that even taking him out wont save my game. Im with the dude whether i like it or not. its smarter for me to take out drew because hes the least likely person left in the whole game to actually work w me grace im not confident on but im fairly certain i can get something working with augus, nathan, and the moyas more soon

Ooh I see I see

ye basically what it comes down to is Joan Aro and Linus I know I can trust, I can prob trust Mihai since everyone else hates him now. Grace is sketch, Rob is sketch now, and Augus and Nathan both have their own narratives i dont wanna do a pagonging but uuuuuh im p sure i can get a f3 with Aro and Mihai if i stick w this 5, and tbch i win that f5 f3* can this be a conf

C/p it in there king hell ye 1:00 PM Oh okay boomer Deadass goin to rocks at f10

😮 1 Wild"

"ralfiki"

- *unclench*

"ralfiki"

- "So now that Alex left, I think that I am better positioned. I think that everyone grouped me with Alex, so this will give me a lot more mobility to receive information. I think that the perceived groups at this time are 1. Joan Linus Zach 2. Grace Augusto Nathan Drew 3. Rob Aro Mihai This gives me 2 clear options. Roll out with the Moya strong for the second time and hope it works or roll with the Wanani 4. I have a strong strategic relationship with Grace where she has been sharing all of her information with me, a strong one with Linus where he has admitted to having the idol, and Augusto and I have been playing this game where no one knows we are close but we have each other's backs for sure. I was being pitched arguments by groups 1 and 2 as to why I should keep Joan and Drew, respectively. At the time, I was very busy and did not have enough time to process the information and make deals that will guarantee myself a better position in this game. This is why Aro and I agreed to split the votes, cause a draw, and see what happens. I mainly wanted a tie to schedule the next tribal better for myself. I DID NOT WANT TRIBAL ON THE LAST DAY OF MY VACATION! After thinking about it, I was more set on Joan leaving. I thought that Joan leaving would free up Zach and Linus more so I can improve those relations and be the third that they needed at the time. I tried to pitch to others, but people were willing to go to rocks. Not me, I will not draw a rock for anyone in this game. That is why I chose to flip. I presented it to Nathan, Grace, and Gus as I did this for us to save us- to hope that they will still trust me. I know that there are two alliance chats: the Moya 5 and the Wananai 3/4, so I am playing the floater here. This is why I am planting seeds of doubt on Mihai and Aro so people will target those middle people and not me. My strategy moving forward is to pitch a vote that I know will be acted on later. I have a lot of information in this game in regard to power and social/strategic relationships that I am keeping to myself. I am using it now to get the people that do not trust me out so that I am only left with those that are willing to share info with me. Sorry Drew, but I was never going to rocks. Moving forward, Mihai and Aro must be the targets, but I will not object o Joan leaving because he is acting as a shield for Aro and Mihai. Those 4 think that the shield is big enough to cover all of them, but they need to strap up their bulletproof vests because they are all still targets and once Joan is gone, the shot is even easier. "