Board Thread:Survivor 30: Legends/@comment-4975295-20180213023439/@comment-26703314-20180213033129

Uh, yeah it definitely could? I mean if anyone had asked me they would know it wasn't meant in 100% seriousness (it's a reference to a video I watch incesstantly) and I apologized to the people who actually spoke to me about it. But yeah, relationships wise? It's Interesting how people can do ACTIONS that hurt people in this game and it's 100% fine and not something people are allowed to take personally. But words, admittedly hurtful ones that I did not think before using and am sorry for, are across the line. Some people will have a myopic view of the world that always equals out to them being justifiable and in the right. I myself am fully capable of admitting fault and looking back at my own mistakes.

My relationships with Fitz, Sam, Asa, Tori, and Jessy are squared away (as far as they've told me) and I've told them at length how I feel bad about my words if they truly hurt them. Christine, Alissa, and Evan, I genuinely have no interest in speaking to them in this game, but after the game I fully intend to make whatever reparations are needed. I'm able to separate in-game from out of game very well, nowadays at least. I speak to Emma every day even though she engineered my boot in HvV and I've not spoken a single word to my BFF from that season, Sarah, in months. My thoughts on the people Alissa, Evan, and Christine are outside this game are wildly different from the very negative image I have of them in this game. And honestly? If it hurts my game then so be it. I've already seen some very hypocritical and myopic distinctions people draw this season over things that really are not so different.

So that about sums up my feelings on the matter? I don't see myself as some horrible evil woman who goes around abusing people, I said a mean thing in partial jest that was tone-deaf and mistimed, and I actually am quite sorry about it. I refused to step down when Alissa challenged me on it because frankly for her to try to cast a morality judgement on me after what she did to Chris I found outrageous. Again, her relationship and trust built with Chris that she then broke = not a personal line, okay to cross. Me saying something over the top mean= very personal. Just saying, love Alissa as a person but in this game I don't see her and I as that different.