Idk What I'd Do Without Zak/Confessionals

Day 31
"grande terre"

- FUCKING HELL FIRST OF ALL JENNA GOES HOME THEN SHE THINKS THAT I FLIPPED ON HER?? FUUUUK WAFOAWKFKOW

WELP my second potential Jury vote (other being Cali) down the drain :'(

I honestly just wanna WERK it at this point because if I don't play a good game from this point onwards I'm toast and I won't win the game.

Sooo, Charlie comes at me and says he wants to work with the 'threats' (me + him + zakriah + nathan + andy) to take out the weaker players (adrian + george + trent) and honestly? Idk if I'm down for this because I need some weaker players here in order to win FTC lmao. I'm thinking of letting George go, but then trying to save Trent & Adrian at F7 by flipping it on Nathan or Andy or Charlie or something. This game has shown itself to be able to flip in literally a split second so for now I'm just gonna go with the flow but if I feel the need to flip something up at any time then I will.

"grande terre"

- It's crazy, because in hindsight, I've just realized that so many strong players have fallen during this damn merge. Like, they've just gone for the sake of being threats, too. I think Zak & I are the only people who received a majority of the votes who weren't fucking great at this game lmao

I honestly really need to just lay low because it's evident at this point that I don't NEED to make moves on the Nathans and the Charlies - the threats, because other people are just going to do it for me. Loool! Although I don't like this whole 'lol-lets-vote-the-goats-out-so-that-aren-cant-win-lol' strategy because I really need these fucking goats to stay. So, making a move after this vote is DEFINITELY possible. Like, really possible. A F7 blindside would be just splendid, darling!

"grande terre"

- Hi so I haven't made one of these in a hot minute, it's been since I thought I was gonna be voted out! Not much has changed; I'm still underestimated, overstressed, and incredibly in danger of being voted out because everyone just thinks I'm a duo with everyone - and also maybe because I've been too busy with finals to talk to bitches like Adrian. Last round, Trent pretty much ruined any trust I had with him and destroyed both of our games by orchestrating Jenna's blindside out of jealousy or some petty shit, I'm incredibly devastated for Jenna because it's just such a slap in the face to be blindsided by your final three deal and be lied to about it all fucking day. I'm just sick of it and honestly I need to win this game and vote all five of those fucks out. All I've got to keep me grounded is Charlie, and quite honestly he and Jenna (and I thought Trent too) have been my only true allies this entire game so I have to cling onto him with all I got until the end. This game's fucked.

"grande terre"

- I made it to day 31 which sounds great because that's the day I left last time, BUT I returned from exile to see Jenna had been voted out and to say I was devastated is a huge understatement. That's my bff. We talk about eeeeverythiiing in and outside of game. It's been hard and I did cry (I'm a weak bitch). It's not so much me being on the bottom, I'm used to it. It's more the fact that I feel guilt because had I not used the express pass they most likely would've voted me out instead of her. I wanna give it my all even if I'm next out. I wanna leave it all on the floor and fight for this win for both of us.

"grande terre"

- Adrian is such a bad player lol. First he flips on Jenna who had his back 100%, then he lies about it to me, and I'm the first one that catches onto that, realising he's trying to play both sides. Then he brings up my name to someone and when I go to talk to him he ignores me. I can see why he got voted out at his first tribal last time and I made merge twice. You don't bite the hand that feeds you. And oh my god these people I'm done. They're so boring and shady. Those are two things I'm not a fan of. I feel like you could replace half of the people left with cardboard boxes and they'd be more interesting to talk to. I'm over kissing ass. On another note I'm really liking Aren. I feel really bad about calling him names like snake and stuff. He's a good dude and one of the more interesting people. I wouldn't be mad if he won at this point.

"grande terre"

- Of course it's looking bad for me atm, but I believe Aren and Zakriah are with me. I tried to plant seeds with Andy and Nathan that once I'm gone Adrian, George and Trent will pick them off and become the final 3. This season deserves better. I came into this wanting to play more utr but I kinda realised it's a lot of luck and laziness that goes into that. If you aren't on the chopping block you don't have to work as hard. It's a fact. My hand has sort of been forced and now if I wanna stay I have to put in the work. George and Adrian had an easy ride here and a lot of options because of the way the pre-merge boots went, so it's no wonder they're coasting by. It bothers me that Trent flips on people that had his back, an alliance that he created, even. We could be sitting pretty rn but he's just put this game into a spin. Maybe if he connected better socially to his allies he wouldn't feel on the outs!

"grande terre"

- Idk what I'd do without Zak. He's my rock and I would have no one to cry to about Jenna going if he weren't here. I'm so grateful for and love him.

"grande terre"

- WHEW I won reward!! My first official individual challenge win in 703 (hopefully not my last) :)))). My loved one Alissa is the best and thank lawt for her. I was given the option to keep two loved ones in the chat and to that i said fuck y'all and your loved ones, go choke! I'm gonna be searching hard with Zak for the idol. I'm praying the immunity challenge is something up my alley but my only real skill is art so here's hoping!!

Day 32
"grande terre"

- I officially made it past the number of days I made it to my last season which is nice, but I can't help but feel that this is a do or die challenge for me. I predicted the immunity challenge would be touchy subjects and I'm scared. I've been throwing George under the bus in the meantime saying to Andy any dirt I have on him and making him think he has the Bizet idol (which he could for all I know). I'm hoping Andy will want to make a move and I'm banking on his paranoia to get me ahead.

"grande terre"

- Hi I just found my first idol ever and it's all thanks to Charlie so yay! I can't wait to play it on him

"grande terre"

- So I made a doc for myself and Zak to idol hunt and I made a last min switch and let him take my guess. He got the idol! It's great because I trust him but of course I'd rather have the idol myself. There's nothing more that I want than to beat my previous placement of 8th and actually have a fighting chance to win. An idol could change that. I really wanna knock out someone that fucked over Jenna. An idol gives me hope. #SuckingDickForIdols

"grande terre"

- Right now things feel very, silent in this game. Like silence worries me. I thought when Jenna went out it would be like all sunshine and rainbows for me and I'd be in much better standing. But I'm still very wary of everyone and I'll probably need this immunity so that my paranoia can stop for just one day.

Also as this game is starting to come to a close and the end is more in sight I'm starting to wonder what I'm going to present to the jury. Not to get all Will Wahl here but this is going to probably be a jury that respects big moves and strategic plays and I'm worried that, at the moment, I'm viewed as Andy's partner who didn't have to fight as hard to survive. So I'm trying to think of the best way to play these next few rounds so that:

A. I make day 39 B. I look like a winner C. I don't get fucked over by an idol that's probably in Charlie/Zak's possession at the moment.

It's gonna be a tough road to the finish line, but it's gonna be doable. And honestly if I can survive a round where I should've been dead man walking, I think I can make the end and win this whole thing.

Day 33
"grande terre"

- Lmao it's so clear that nobody on this tribe likes me and if anybody wants to take me to the end it's quite frankly for me to be a goat and I won't take a F3 deal any other way.

I'm hoping that I'll still be able to be here after TC but if I have to say my goodbyes then that's alright. I've had 33 in-game days out here to do my thing and although I've sucked I've still had a huge amount of fun, so therefore it's worth it and I'm really pleased with how this game has gone for me.

"grande terre"

- I'm always gonna be aiming for the win and although it looks really bad for me right now I'm not gonna give up until my torch is snuffed or until the FTC results have been posted. I've been in a bad position since the merge began (admittedly due to my own foolhardy nature) but I've still managed to hang in there strong and I guess I have a couple of potential votes on the Jury so perhaps if I go to the end with two really shit people I can win?? I dunno lmao I'm just looking for anything rn

"grande terre"

- AHHHHHH I WON IMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYY BIIIIIITCCCCCCHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! I'm so happy, all of my imperfections have cleared up, the sky is blue, Heather Leigh Cameron is singing, just everything is perfect. I'm so proud of myself and I know I beat my placement at the very least. The goals were don't be early boot, make the swap, make the second and third swaps, make merge, make jury, make a big move, beat my number of days, beat my placement, win an individual immunity, and now all that's left to do is win the game!! Now it's time to pull the pieces together and send George to jury, hopefully.

"grande terre"

- https://youtu.be/JR-j0PvfVps

"grande terre"

- Assuming I actually am a swing vote I have a pretty big choice tonight. On one side there's Aren/Charlie/Zakriah and they're planning to vote for George. On the other side it seems like Adrian/George/Trent are planning to vote for Aren. For the first time in ages I feel like I'm deciding the course of this vote. I'm not so much worried about whose name to write down, as Aren and George were my preferred next two boots anyways. But my main worry is how I'm going to deal with the two people I'm planning to leave out of the vote. Obviously they'll be rather pissed off but I need to make sure they're still on board to make a move with me the next round. But the time for hesitation was final 11. Tonight, it's time to make a move and stick with it.

"grande terre"

- sigh

this is the most nervous i've been in a while. i know zak's bloodthirsty about me voting out jenna, so my neck is on the block more than usual tonight. now that i've made a move i'm a lot more perceptible to being voted out and i'm trying to avoid that at all costs. it SEEMS like aren should be leaving 5-3 or more, but charlie and zak also have a bunch of idol clues. if they wanted, they could keep aren around and send me home. at this point all i can do is keep calm and hope things work in my favor. i don't want this to end for me but something gives me this weird feeling that it's about to. i'm crossing my fingers though

"grande terre"

- OMG YAAAAASSS!!! GEORGE IS GONE AND I MADE IT WOOOOOO!!! IM SO HAPPY OMG F7 BABY <3

George & I were kinda friends so if I have a good FTC maaaybe I can earn his vote...? idk, I just need to focus on doing well from now on so that I can push my game out. I need to do well omg. FINAL SEVEN WOOO!!! How TF did I go from prime target at F13 all the way to in a decent spot at F7? honestly though, I think I might be a target soon, so that's a worry... Winning immunity would be spectacular.

"grande terre"

- I'm honestly just... so tired of being the 'easy vote'... That's not how I want to play this game, it really isn't. I'm sick of my name being thrown out there in case the target has an idol. It clearly means that people intend on voting me out around the final five mark and y'know what? fuck that noise

After the immunity challenge, I'm doing something. It's the final fucking seven, why is every vote snitched on?? I need to have a discussion with Nathan because I want to work with him, Andy & Trent - possibly Adrian too - to do something big. I want to be able to leave this game saying I have one move, or one thing, to be proud of. No WAY am I leaving as a simple goat. I just hate how I feel because I have so so so much passion for this game and so much love for it but I feel so weak and so small. I need to do something, and now's the time.

"grande terre"

- I'm either gonna die a player, or last long enough to see myself become a goat. And the latter option is one that I refuse.