No Blood On My Hands/Confessionals

Day 8
"tacana"

- It's day 8 and luckily Tacana has been able to win the past two immunities so i've been chillin 8-) lol. I've been like hibernating the past 3 days idk what's good w me i completely checked out of the immunity but i'm so thankful they were able to pull thru bless them

Also ugh mess I somehow stumbled upon the fucking Catarina idol -___- spent about 100 minutes doing this gross 300 piece puzzle gettin my hopes up for no damn reason ffkvjndakfl ugh. this shit seriously got me in a funk i have no idea where this idol could be -___________- like.... smh yall got me fucked up ! i've been checking the forum periodically and its driving me crazy smh at this point im prayin for a swap so i can end up on catarina and ideallyyyy get that idol *eyes emoji*

so erm yer that's where im at right now; waiting on the next immunity.... i should prob talk to my tribemates more lol

"tacana"

- Agh fuck it all I just checked the jigsaw puzzle link and someone completed it again after my last attempt fjkasdkl;fjlk jfc rip that tribe swap idea

"catarina"

- FUCK YEEEEES, I HAVE THE IDOL!!!! (Unless they're only letting one fake idol be hidden, because I tried to put one there and they wouldn't let me so rip) I want to believe my idol that I spent 2 hours on the damn puzzle for is real but I just have a bad feeling that it's not real since this is the only idol I've ever had. I'm ecstatic that we haven't been to tribal, I have close allies, and I'm on a successful tribe, hopefully we can keep a forward momentum and I won't have to do anything big for a while. Having an idol makes me really nervous and really happy at the same time because I have a sense of security but I could get fucked over so easily with it, I think I'm only ever gonna use it on myself unless I think a very close ally is in danger and me myself is immune, but one thing is for sure, I don't plan on letting ANYONE know I have it until I play it, too damn risky.

"catarina"

- I'm going to evaluate my tribe. Brian 🐝 LOVE THIS GUY SO MUCH. Obviously working with him. Austin 🐺 (I couldn't find a deer emoji) Part of my alliance, also my BFF. Rhiannon 🐻 Not sure why I used that emoji! But anyways! I love this girl, I'm glad she got cast so we can hopefully slay ! Nick City 🐙 I don't really know how I feel about him being here :/ I don't think well be working together for long term... I know we're in an alliance buuuuuut I have other plans :))) Nathaniel 🦁 I love him but I know how much of a threat he can be of course I want to work with him. But I don't know if that can happen if I'm going to advance in this game. Sim 🐭 I gave him the mouse emoji because we've only talked once so I view him as quiet. He is the only one on my tribe that I just met. So idk what to say about him yet!

"catarina"

- Confessional dedicated to Brian because I love him. Honestly I know if I don't slay at this game then he will!! He's a really amazing guy & his social game has already been on point this game!! So yasss B. 🐝🐝🐝 he also knows how to bring people up when they're down. I'm glad he got cast for San Marcos 😊❤️

"tacana"

- This game is real chill I love it. Matt and I have exchanged cat pictures and everyone's just so friendly. Probably won't be like that for too much longer, but loving it at the moment

"queztal"

- That Jalen vote went as expected. I am glad that the tribe is keeping the votes unanimous, because I think that doesn’t alienate anybody from voting differently.

"queztal"

- I really want to motivate my tribe to secure this win, but I don’t want to come off too controlling or too obsessed with winning. Chances are, based on how I’m reading things, Catarina will win this again if we don’t give it out all.

It’s also a little amazing how there are five people pulling that rhinoceros in the challenge as it tempts me to provide a cute little screenshot of my perspective to show you guys who I think has the strongest grip in this game.

As much as I BELIEVE IN THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, we haven’t been attracting success for the previous two challenges, so screw that. I’ll just assume that we lost, and that we’re going to tribal tomorrow, so let me lay out my plan for ya’ll…

As of now, I am in this unofficial Rainbow Alliance with Brandon, Shea, and Jenna, which means that Elmo is automatically the odd man out. I wouldn’t count on that easily though, because among my tribemates, Elmo is the one that I am closest to. I wouldn’t want him to go home, but if those three are already set on getting rid of the guy named after the Sesame Street character – which, if I might add, Is also my favorite Sesame Street character – I won’t be able to do anything to save him.

If I could convince Brandon that Jenna and Shea are so close, and that we have to break them up, then I’ll have something going, but I don’t even know what kind of relationship Brandon has with those two, so I really have to be careful with my words. WISH ME LUCK!

"catarina"

- I MADE THE TEAM YASSSSSSSSSS. Nathaniel put me on the score submitting team YASSSSSSSSSSSS

"catarina"

- This game has been going crazy so far. Austin has become my new #1 since Rhi is kinda not online as much. I do still want to work extremely close with her though. So Austin and myself kinda put ourselves smack in the middle of our tribe to give us a lot of power. On one side there's me, Austin, Nathaniel and Sim. On the other is me, Austin, Hannah and Rhi. So that leaves Brian on the outs completely and Austin and I right in the middle. This challenge is kinda important because only one team is winning. However, if we do go to tribal I'm planning on targeting Brian. I need him gone he has way too many connections on the other tribes. Jenna and Matt were both from NZ on the main org and now Austin is telling me Brandon is his fucking ex boyfriend and Malik is one of his best friends? Nope! He's going if we lose because if we swap after this and he obviously knows he's on the bottom, he's going to flip on us so we need to get rid of him. So, I kinda hope we lose? Is that wrong of me?

"queztal"

- I survived last tribal! yay! that deserves a ~ F A N C Y U W U ~. Jalen was gunning for me, and I can agree I should have gone home last night, but I didn't and I'm happy.

My challenge performance has been pretty bad so far with a lot of this stuff relying on fast mouse movements which im v bad at. I'm going to play this game for at least a few hours and see if I cant improve. My goal is 2 minutes. If I can reach that, I'll be happy, since that's what Brandon got.

I'm trying to play very under the radar and work hard on challenges. I don't want to seem like a big social likable threat and I don't want to seem super weak in challenges, that's what has gotten me booted in the two orgs I've played. I've made really strong ties with Brandon and Jenna, strong enough for both to see solidifying an alliance as a good idea, but i'm trying to severely downplay my strategic game in their eyes and seem more timid. If they view me as any kind of a threat to them, I'm done.

If we lose, It's a decision between Renz and Elmo. Renz is a savy, intelligent player, rivals me in charisma and really impressive in the challenges. Elmo is equally impressive in challenges, but his social and strategic game aren't as strong. Both are very anti-catarina like the rest of our tribe except im open to working with the returnees oop but i cant tell my tribe that because they'll vote meeeouwt.

I dont wanna break anyones face I just want to win.

"catarina"

- Fuckin great, my plan going into this challenge was to somehow try and get second so we didn't get another idol clue and then the people who were to clueless to find the link from that first clue would be even closer to finding the idol, but now that this twist for the round has been introduced, you either win immunity and reward or go to tribal !!! So that's just great that this round doesn't end ideally for me either way, but avoiding tribal would always be nice, but I am not counting on winning immunity at all, overall our tribe combined is pretty mediocre at challenges, I do good in most flash games and Nick/Hannah have been known to be somewhat lacking in that area so I feel like we will be visiting tribal for the first time tonight. Since I'm pretty sure we're gonna end up at tribal, i've done some more talking with Nick and Hannah and Nick is still on board with voting Brian so we don't have to betray either of our alliances, and Hannah wants to vote out Nathaniel or Sim and she said specifically not Brian, so even if I can get people from both my alliances in on it, Hannah isn't gonna be cool with it, and that's a big deal to me, but I'm hoping I can just tell her the numbers just aren't there. Also just a little side note- this idol is a blessing and a fucking curse, this idol has brought me new found paranoia from not knowing if people think it's been found or not, but I do know the puzzle has been completed since I won it so someone left empty handed which is not good at all because now someone knows that the idol for Catarina has been found, I still haven't told anyone and I definitely don't plan on it, I'm just hoping all my alliances are solid because I really enjoy everyone I'm working with rn and if we can keep us together and have a calm tribal I'd love that.

Day 9
"catarina"

- It's been awhile since my last confessional... oops. As of now, I'm very curious to see what people are thinking for this vote. No one's showed their cards before, so I might be either completely out of the loop and fucked or....

"catarina"

- Sooo we lost, fucking sucks, but at least we don't get an idol clue to help the people who haven't seen the puzzle yet 😀 I'm obviously semi-paranoid already since I know for sure somebody besides me has completed the puzzle since it says completed 4 times instead of 3, and then there's always the possibility of mine being fake, but the hosts wouldn't let me hide a fake one, so I doubt it's fake. Nick and I are already beginning our campaign for Brian to go and I think we can even get Hannah on board for it since I doubt she'd wanna throw her game under the bus for him, he's got so many connections and if he makes a swap it could mean a lot of trouble for us, so hopefully I can put this paranoia aside and just feel safe booting Brian 6-1, sorry dude I like you but I can't risk you linking up with all these people you have connections with.

"catarina"

- Ahhh, why is this so hard ): I don't want to vote off Brian. He's one of my best friends. I love him so much. Ahhhhhh. This is literally tough. I'm thinking I'm going to have to vote him off because that's what majority wants. I need to do what's best for my game & I don't want to be on the wrong side of the vote. I also wish Sim would talk to me more ....

"tacana"

- !!!!!! BITCH I FOUND AN IDOL

and it's a good thing i did because apparently Matt's a snake and is tryna play me lmaooo he really thot

Claudia is truly the homegirl, filling me in on the tea that apparently Matt/Malik/Chris are an alliance which........... did i not CALL that? mmm yas i did.

Matt approached literally everyone on the tribe minutes after the immunity results were posted.... like? flop? I was mad real with him on who I wanted to keep around and who I wanted to vote out bc I lowkey thought he was trustworthy but deep down i knew he wasnt. i ain't mad though like, do you boo lol. it's too bad for him Claudia trusts me more huh :^)

so like that's where I'm at now - trying to figure out how to ensure me, Andrew, & Claudia can all make it through this vote. It's clear that they want either me or Andrew out so I just need to make sure the votes fall on me and we good

I actually just informed Andrew about all of this and we're living. He's the only one who knows i have the idol at this point

I'm debating when to tell Claudia about it. I'm toying with the idea of telling her but asking her to vote with the other 3 & act oblivious to it after the vote just so that she can maintain a relationship with the 2 that stay

I hope i'm not getting ahead of myself though. I trust Andrew but there's always that minuscule pit of paranoia in the back of my head that doubts everything....... but I just need to relax and go with it.

If all goes well this is gonna be an iconic blindside and i can't wait lmao. It's about time the game really starts and these unanimous votes go tf away !

"catarina"

- So I was the one who made the chat, so I was 100% not going to throw a name out there. I've accumulated enough reasons to be a target, so I was relieved when Austin said Brian and listed 20 reasons to take him out instead.

They were actually really valid reasons, Brian apparently has various connections on other tribes, which is dangerous in case of a tribe swap. and GOD KNOWS I DONT FUCK AROUND WITH TRIBE SWAPS. I want to be as unified as possible, so I definitely agree that is a problem. Nathaniel and Nick agree as well, and boom our first game move as an alliance is born! We've discussed making this a unanimous vote because everyone seems fine with it.

"catarina"

- I AM SHAKING. So I've been avoiding talking to game with Hannah. I wanted HER to approach me, but I guess I had to be careful for what I wish for.

Hannah finally said something to me pertaining to votes. ""Heard anything?"" She asks. I don't see it until 20 mins later because I was offline, but I check my alliance chat first, and I see that Nathaniel had a conversation with Hannah about it. I see this as a green light to be honest with Hannah, and talk with Brian. I tell her that I've only heard Brian's name. She says the same thing and says she'll vote Brian to avoid being a target. I agree with her, and say we should just go with the general consensus.

5 minutes later, and Hannah slides into my pms once again, ""WAIT SIM!"". I don't like where this is going. ""Hey, what's wrong?"" I ask, very nervously. I know this is across computer screens, but I felt as if she came up to me frantically because the amount of messiness she was displaying came across through her messages.

She basically wants to flip the script! Instead of voting out Brian - which she agreed to 5 minutes ago, she wants to form an alliance with him and Nathaniel.

WTF? Did she just run to Brian with what I told her. No, Nathaniel had already talked to her. But I do think her and Brian were already close, so what I believe happened is that she and Brian were already talking, she was telling Nathaniel and I what she wanted us to hear, and realized that me and Nathaniel were the potential swing votes, so that's when she told me what she was really thinking.

First of all, shady as fuck. Second of all, I'm gonna hear her out. but wait, shady as fuck again, because Brian messages me at the exact same time sending me heart emojis, apologizing about how we never talk. I tell him its fine, it's my fault too, but then it gets EVEN SHADIER. He says to me and I quote, ""thanks for not trying to get me out this week!"" EXCUSE ME? He was clearly trying to guilt trip me, because I know Hannah told his ass everything I said, so FUCK THAT. I'm kinda losing my mind rn gaeheaihjaehaeohajea

"catarina"

- Okay....... so this might not work but it might also work. BUT I can't just sit around & let Brian get voted out. It may be too early to flip but maybe not. Sim & Brian (obvi) are on board with this. Now we just have to hope that Nathaniel will also be on board. BUT AUSTIN IS LIKE "Hannah it's too early to flip." BUT AUSTIN YOURE FLIPPING ON BRIAN OANKSJDJDNFOEKDJD AHHHHHHHHH

"catarina"

- So now I know that I'm a target for Rhi/Nick/Austin. Hannah told me about it and got Sim with us. Sim said he was going to vote for me because he heard it was the vote and my queen and savior Hannah told him otherwise. Hannah then told me that Nathaniel was the other target. So I'm basically going to Nathaniel like, "Dude, it was one of us, but now let's make it one of them." In addition to that, I'm a little upset that Austin wants to do this, but maybe if I can convince him we can get numbers, it'll be all peachy keen. People will probably be upset to see Rhi go, but I know that a lot of people still don't like me from Sumbawa, so they won't be upset to see me go. I'm not here to make people happy, however. I'm here to play and win.

"catarina"

- Basically, today started out pretty calm, we lost but I'd discussed a plan with most everyone already, and that plan was Brian, he has a lot of connections, and that's dangerous nearing a swap, so everyone was on board with that, even Hannah at one point, but I guess Hannah got to thinking about it even more and now she has tried flipping the vote, so I've told people about her being messy and now the spotlight is on her/Brian for being this messy, Brian is probably still gonna end up going because they plan on voting out Rhiannon and I really do not feel like betraying my alliances, which Hannah is 100% on board with, but despite Hannah's efforts I think they're all in vain, I'll probably eventually let her in on the fact that she kind of solidified this Brian vote even more than it already was with all her scrambling, i love you Hannah but you're a mess, please don't be mad at me for this after we vote him out.😂

"catarina"

- Now this could just be Austin trying to make sure I stay loyal, but he basically lets me know that Hannah wants me gone if I don't save Brian.

I have no words. I'm done. Does she assume that I won't talk to people? I guess she has reason to since we barely talk, but OH MY GOD. Let me tell you, I don't respond to threats.

You can ask me to do something nicely, or don't ask me at all. DO NOT THREATEN ME. I AM NOT SCARED OF YOU HANNAH. I WILL VOTE OUT BRIAN JUST TO PISS YOU OFF. AND ILL VOTE YOU OUT RIGHT AFTER!

I am so angry right now. Why is she trying to pit Austin and I against each other, and expecting us to both save Brian? Covering her bases, trying option A and B at the same time? I don't fucking know anymore...

"queztal"

- We won, which means I don’t have to create a plan to blindside either Shea or Jenna! I didn’t really want to go back there because I hate going to tribal as it makes me really anxious.

"tacana"

- so as of now Claudia & Andrew both know about the idol bc im a blabbermouth who can't keep secrets TBH

but i was gonna tell her at some point anyway so w.e. she spilled some tea that her/matt/malik/chris have an alliance chat lol rip. I trust her a good amount though and I don't think she will spill about my idol

this is lowkey really messy of me how i went about this idol shit lmfaoooo but i'm making it work. like Claudia & Andrew weren't even fb friends until like an hour ago fjkalsdj and they're my people like wtf is this mess. i'm doing my best to merge them together bc i really think we would be a dope trio

so all my cards are on the table lol. it's kind of my style though i'm too trusting of a person at times but i have good vibes from Claudia and Andrew right now so i'm not worried

I haven't spoken to Chris since like the first day maybe lol. Malik has a skewed view of me i think because Matt ratted to him about me saying he flopped the word search lmfao. it's just the tea. the weird thing is though that i'm like 89% sure i want to take out Matt and he's the one of those 3 i actually have a game-working-relationship with lol. so i'm really putting a lot of trust in Claudia/Andrew bc idek malik/chris uk? I'm not bothered about it much though bc Matt dug his own grave getting too comfortable & snaking around. I don't need that up in my garden. Hopefully Malik & Chris open up to me more when Matt leaves bc i don't have any beef we're all just playing a game i wanna be cool with them

anywayz that's where im at. my gut has been in knots bc this is very stressful but i love it lol pce out

"catarina"

- So Brian is begging me to keep him, idk if they just don't care at this point but it's so obvious Hannah has told him literally everything she knows so he knows why he's being targeted and what not, but he comes to me saying that he really doesn't want to be voted out and saying he's trying to redeem himself from sumbawa like I have news for you Brian I'm here trying to redeem myself from Tokelau, I fucking flopped yo, all of us on this tribe did, that's why we're here !! So if I gotta vote you out to not flop sorry fam but ima do it, Hannah kinda nailed your coffin today scrambling so much, this round will hopefully end in a unanimous boot but after Hannah has done all of this, I really don't see her surviving if we visit tribal again, regardless of what I want.

"catarina"

- So my plan going into this tribal is to make sure that both sides are unified and are on board with voting Brian. I don't want to betray anyone yet and the only way of making that possible is by voting our Brian. Now my ass is petty and got him out in another org a few days ago and it's about to be a repeat tonight! So it seems as if both sides are for it but things can change by tomorrow. I'm just hoping we have a swap soon so that way I have a lot of leverage with which vets I get stuck with. I'll literally have no blood on my hands going into the swap with anyone still in the game so I'll be set.

"catarina"

- So I get home from work and Austin is FLIPPING the fuck out because apparently Hannah is scrambling hard to save Brian. What the actual fuck is she doing right now? She told Sim and Nathaniel that if they don't vote for Rhi, me her and Austin are going to pick them off. I'm literally so confused she was in on the alliance and now all of a sudden is flipping? To save Brian? She's trying to convince Austin to save him too by saying that Bran's relationships with the other tribes will benefit her, which is completely false. Austin also told me that Brian's ex boyfriend is on the other tribe so like he definitely needs to go. As far as I know, everyone is still voting for Brian except Hannah. But who knows, tonight it could be anyone because she had to be a rat.

"tacana"

- This tribal council is going to be. Fucking. Excellent.

The challenge was lost (which is what I was hoping, because Ryan needs to go) but since then, things have REALLY picked up. Ryan made his move.

Claudia and Ryan went to Andrew with the information about the Tacana Four alliance (of Claudia, Chris, Malik and I) and decided to vote as a bloc of three for me. The kicker is, Ryan has an idol.

Andrew leaks this information to Chris, who, bless his heart, tells me and Malik. It's been a huge campaign of misinformation and playing dumb over the last 6 hours, and I'm loving it.

Here's the plan: I most likely get three votes, and while the voting bloc of Andrew, Claudia, and Ryan are expecting 3 votes for Ryan, (they're trying to trick me into voting for Malik but that's another story) Ryan's gonna play that idol on himself. Chris, Malik and I are going to put our votes onto Claudia and, god willing, we'll get a tie and Andrew will most likely flip over going to rocks. Not how I wanted this to go but, I'm pretty fucking stoked. Even if I get fucked by an idol or a revote or however this goes, this is going to be, a GREAT tribal council.

"catarina"

- Never mind everything I said in my last confessional. All of these people are scared & im #pissed. I'm sorry Brian I tried everything I could. ):

"catarina"

- I literally want to kms. Why is this so difficult. I tried to explain to Nathaniel & Sim that they are on the bottom BUT NO THEY DONT UNDERSTAND. I'm just soooooooo mad rn. 😭😭😭

"catarina"

- Brian I'm sorry, I have to vote you ): I can't throw my game away by not voting you. I'm really really sorry. I hope you understand. Ilysm ❤️

"catarina"

- Well, here comes another confessional. In case you haven’t noticed so far, I’m doing a different style for them each episode, and this week, it’s time for boring, old, normal style. Wanna know what’s not boring though? Tribal. We lost the challenge by quite a bit (though at least we got 2nd), and have to vote off the first person of our tribe. The “nathaniel doesn't have a vagina and is fucked bc of that” alliance (thanks for the name, Nuno) of me, Nick, Sim and Austin were gonna vote Brian, but then Hannah suggested Brian to Austin, who agreed to vote for him, but Hannah changed her mind, and it basically became Hannah and Brian vs Nick and Rhi, with Austin, Sim and me in the middle. Sim and Austin really wanted Brian gone though, for having “connections to other tribes” (which is a stupid reason to vote someone off IMO), and after a lot of talking, including Brian calling Sim out in the tribe chat for giving him false hope, it seems Brian will be the sole vote for Rhi, and everyone else will vote for him. He did tell me Nick, Austin and Rhi were choosing between me and him originally though, which is very scary, and I think that if we don’t swap, I’m in trouble. I’m putting all my hope into a swap coming next though, and even if it doesn’t, I’ll just have to pledge my loyalty even more to Austin (who’s basically the ruler of the tribe right now). I mean, I’ve even given them the Idol location of Quetzal (I’m keeping Tacana’s for myself), in case someone got swapped there, and if that isn’t showing loyalty and trust, I’m not sure what is. All I know right now is that I’m definitely sticking with Sim, and I wanna work with Hannah moving forward too. Austin’s cool as well, but he’s a bit shady. Rhi and Nick are very shady too, and I’m not sure what to think of them right now. I just hope I’m surviving this, and that whatever happens next, it won’t end my game.

"catarina"

- http://i.imgur.com/3WZFuDw.gif