Sitting on a Time Bomb/Confessionals

Day 4
"tradare"

- So I'm just chilling in the shelter when we get tree mail and it's announced that only one member of the tribe is going to be performing in the reward challenge. After my high score in the first reward challenge, I wanted to sit back and let someone else take the reigns and show their worth. So I sit there looking around and then BOO, out pops the ghost known as Jason and he says he wants to do the challenge. I'm sitting there internally blonking because this guy has been a mess so far. He seems really nice and we've had good conversation but just yesterday he realized for the first time that there were three tribes. I want to find this idol so I figured it was better to take matters into my own hands so I volunteer myself. This will either be a huge payoff for me and secure my position on my tribe or it could backfire and put a huge target on my back. With every risk comes a reward but I plan on going big not going home.

Day 5
"tradare"

- the game's been pretty slow-going since we've been kicking ass at challenges, but it does worry me that maybe my social game isn't great. i've been busy between work and the guy i've been seeing, so i'll just send a bunch of memes and hope for the best.

"tradare"

- Me being me, It took me over ten tried to actually find the right combination so I feel like i have really hindered my tribe, ugh fml

"tradare"

- It was the great Tiffany "New York" Pollard that once said, "My mind...it's so powerful! It amazes me sometimes!". That is how I'm feeling after that Reward Challenge. I singlehandedly killed that memory challenge and I am proving to others that I am a force to be reckoned with. I'm not here to play a safe game, I came to play an all around strong game. The only thing is that I think I'm straddling the line between being a strong player and overplaying. Going under the radar for a few days will benefit me in the long run. I just keep reminding myself of the end goal and am making sure I stay focused and determined.

"izolare"

- I'm pretty sure this Dakota girl didn't pass 3rd grade math cause she was frozen during the challenge and just forgot how to count!! Plus she's kinda ugly so I might just vote for her to prove that ugly people don't deserve to win!!

"izolare"

- I just found out Dakota is a guy oh my god!! Well he's still ugly.

Day 6
"izolare"

- Tribal is a bitch! The incident I don't want to face during the pre-merge. But it is what it is. At this point, I'm pretty sure I feel good with everyone around and just being nice whatsoever.

Sam came after Dakota at the tribal answer and oh wow wow this girl is bold, I stan! but honestly we've never really talked that much not only she replied to my message the day after which is totally a turn off. Dakota approached and proposed about the alliance of 4 with me, Anthony, Craig and him. It couldn't be any better, those 3 are the ones who I bonded a lot and definitely can see myself further with them.

HOWEVER, pre-merge is an important phase, and we need to stay safe as long as we could and by keeping Dakota it might ruin my chance to stay in this game, while Samantha is doing pretty good and we can definitely talk more after this and I believed she really has no one and if I decided to keep her, I can work something to gain her trust and she would feel owed or something.

"tradare"

- No tribal council for us yet again! This tribe is good. Almost too good. Swap's gonna suck when it hits, but I hope we have at least one more round together. When we do swap, I hope I stick with Nick and Brian, we've made an alliance that we're using mostly to collaborate on idol guesses. I'm surprised they want to share that info with me so I'm a touch suspicious. Normally if I get an idol or advantage, I want to keep it entirely to myself until it needs to be used. So I'm thinking that if I do find the idol, I might not tell anyone right away. I definitely want to trust Nick and Brian though, I have no reason not to trust them yet! But I don't like when the game is quiet, it worries me haha. I think I get along well with Connor too. Ellie's nice, we just haven't had much conversation, and Jason is barely around. I hope I'm doing enough to form good bonds with everyone!

"tradare"

- SOS! My game was lowkey exposed today. I have been getting everyone's idol guesses in exchange for my own guesses meaning I'm eliminating the spots 5x quicker than anyone else. This strategy got me into trouble though as Brian and Izzy decided they would share idol locations. Brian shared some of the locations I told him and Izzy connected the dots and was like "Oh have you been talking to Nick?". So that being said Brian and Izzy ask me for a three way alliance, well we haven't officially called it that but I've never heard of Idol Hunting parties that don't work together. What makes this very tedious is that if anyone else talks and shares my idol location guesses then I might lose trust in several of the people who I have grown close to in the first 6 days. I don't forsee this happening but it's something I'm concerned about. As protection for myself, I told Connor about my alliance with Izzy and Brian. Connor, Brian and I also have a threeway alliance and I needed to prove my loyalty to Connor by sharing this info. Hopefully he isn't having any doubts about me because we get along great and I think we work super well together. So to sum things up, I have an alliance with everyone at this point, Brian lowkey exposed me to Izzy and then I exposed Brian to Connor, Ellie and I have been secretly scheming on the side, and Jason is somewhere camouflaged in the background. In terms of loyalty, I trust Connor and Ellie the most. I'm workng with each of them individually and I have never doubted our mutual trust. I want to trust Brian and have the D00D BR0ZE be an alliance I can count on but Brian seems to trying to mastermind things and control information. He's one to watch out for, I really like him as a person, but I know he's got a lot of game in him. I can see him winning the season if he makes the end honestly cause he's charismatic, strategic and strong in challenges. I really think Izzy is super sweet too but she's been in several ORGS and I worry she has connections and history with people on other tribes that would overshadow any relationship I've built with her in this game. Lastly, Jason is super funny and entertaining when we talk but he's just really inactive compared to everyone else. He told me the other day he trusts me a lot and wants to work with me but fears being the guy on the outs who doesn't know what's going on. The question is, do I invest in that friendship game-wise? I'm taking the rest of the day to just sit and think through all my options. Anyways, this is one big mess and I feel like I'm sitting on a time-bomb ready to burst at any moment. If only I was as good at finding idols as I am making pairs in memory ¯\_(ツ)_/¯