I'm Playing With Small Stars/Confessionals

Day 22
"andante"

- This just in, I am currently winning Survivor: Mount Vesuvius. I probably won’t win in general but I am absolutely winning it currently and that’s an awesome feeling. I came out of this looking so fucking good having got everyone on my side to target who I wanted instead of who they wanted, I got Isaiah on my side and he’s the fucken homie now, I covered for him so people don’t even know it’s him that flipped and ruined everything for everyone, and I directed all the heat of everything towards Joe, Andrew, Hesh and Zach which keeps me completely chilling. I even managed to make Zach feel like it was his fault shit went south because he thinks I would’ve voted for Andrew if he told me to. Id be down for it in theory but not at the cost of my boi Isaiah. I just big dicked this round so hard and I didn’t even have immunity I’m just a fucking god anyway. Imagine letting the most threatening player literally dictate an entire round from being the literal lowest peg on the totem pole I’m so fucking powerful.

"andante"

- Now that the dust has settled and people are realising how fucked that was, they’re all coming running to me scared because they think there’s a giant conspiracy going on and the fix is in for them. I’ll protect them and shit but at this point what’s in it for me? I’m winning with or without you lmao. Stay mad about it but I’m doing fine regardless of if I have your support or not so I don’t think I really need it. I’ll take it because it’s more fun that way but I have no desire to pander to anyone. You refused to let me play your game, so I played my own game and took things in the direction I wanted. The offer to work with me was there all along and you didn’t take it. Don’t be mad if it doesn’t come around again, because I’m not really the kind of person to put myself out there twice, and because of that, I don’t know if they’re the sort of people I want to see survive the next few days. Guess I’ll pick and choose at a later point.

"andante"

- Okay, well...glad I didn't vote last tribal even more!

Lex is gone, completing the Shane revenge tour, but I'm sad. Not just sad bc I wanted him to go out at the hands of me, but because he would be a great meat shield. All eyes are on Isaiah, because it's not wrong to think he very well could have ruined this entire plan by telling Lexi/Andrew.

...but what about Brian? My gut is telling me that given how much he wanted me to get Lex out pre-mutiny, it's a glaring thought that he could've voted for Lex, botching Zach's plan and framing Isaiah. I need to look further into this.

"andante"

- well fuck thats not what i wanted to happen, guess im not winning this shit after all smh

"andante"

- Hoooooooooly fuck I'm so fucking shocked that worked. Getting dicked around by people who had already decided you were gone only to blindside the shit out of them and scramble is such an amazing feeling. Brian has this thing where he ghosts you when he decides to vote against you so it was satisfying to see it blow up in his face. However, it was even more satisfying when a drunk Hesh blew up in the tribe chat and in DMs to me. The guy thought he had it made but NOPE, I'm still here. I know I'm still a target and may go to jury soon but I want to enjoy the little victories and this was a victory

"andante"

- Fuck's sake.

Votes came back in and one of us flipped to the others, causing Lex to go home 5-4-3. Now, I wanted Lex out more than most, but I'm actually pretty pissed off by this. For one thing, Joe and Andrew are still here and the four piece of AJ, Joe, Andrew and Lexi now have an extra number. Plus, myself, Brian and Liam, the three that have wanted to make Lex bite it for taking Shane out, didn't get a piece of the pie. Sorry Shane. You got vengeance, just not from me.

As for the flipper, surely it's Isaiah. It HAS to be. Brian, Chloe and I aren't stupid enough to try flipping yet, and I can't imagine Zach, Hesh, Sam or Liam would try it either. Isaiah, on the other hand, has said before that he's kinda close with Joe, and he likely is playing both sides. That's a pretty scary thought, and not one I'd like to entertain. Isaiah and I have been close for a while - we're the Big Rhonda and Shangela Adventure Duo - but unless he actually fesses up and tries to repair some bonds, he's fucked. Sadly, he's insisting it wasn't him, and he's doing a fairly good job of it, too. He's sent a few people a verbal fight between him and Joe, which some of us think might be faked. Fair play to him, it's a good effort.

After eight days of waiting, we finally get a new circle: Violence. A bit spooky. The challenge is to choose either a numerical or literary puzzle, and I go for the letters as I'm shit with numbers. My merry ass gets like, 5 out of 100. My skills are unmatched by these mortal cucks.

Day 23
"andante"

- Somehow, some way, I have gotten myself into an even better position than I was already in, especially given the situation arose from me finding out I wasn't in a good position in the first place. Let's look at this on paper before we realise how fucking good I am: majority alliance doesn't trust me and does everything in their power to cripple me including putting me on a tribe of four against a tribe of eleven, targeting everyone around me so I have nobody left, refusing to ever give me any information, and then not even letting me side with them when I fucking tried to all because they didn't want to give me a name. On top of that, I've managed to figure out a lot of less than ideal shit within my own crew that I was already largely aware of in suspicions but never confirmations, so it's probably good to have definite examples of underhanded things within our 'four' that apparently I've been on the periphery of anyway. The random tertiary group, too, specifically wants me gone because... I don't know, reasons? That all sounds awful, right? That sounds like I should be in a world of hurt. I'm a fucking god though, so no, I am not hurt, I am thriving. Now, I know that the majority is buttering me up fucking HARD by reaching out to me with this wakeup call bullshit, and I'm absolutely buying into it as hard as I can. I think they feel genuine regret over leaving me in the dark when I tried to work with them, but even if they don't, as long as they believe that I believe them, what does them being genuine matter? If they want me to work with them, even if it's just a temporary thing on their end and they'll ditch me eventually, I have such a fucking good leg up on shit and can absolutely use that to my advantage. Right now, I'm still the smartest person in the room, and Isaac is the only one privy to that enough to where he's trying to target me supposedly, which like, good on him. I'm proud of my little dude having the guts to come after me. He's doing it behind my back rather than to my face which is less than ideal but I mean fuck it this kid idolises me so I'm glad he's willing to set that aside and not metagame and he's okay taking me out. It's not going to fucken work because I'm better at Survivor than him, but it's nice to see him trying. But yeah, right now, I'm in the best seat in the house and I'm almost a little scared of myself for somehow managing to swindle myself into the spot I'm in. Like, that's almost sociopathic how I just sold that shit to the dudes that were on the call and they just ran with shit. I'm fucking good, wbk, but just how good is the scary fact. Might need to bathe in holy water after this or something.

"andante"

- The anxiety gets worse and worse oh my god

Okay, Brian is clear, for now. Isaiah voted Lex (thanks, Joe!) and now I feel like I'm on a collision course just for being stuck in the middle when I really shouldn't be. I don't like arguing with my close friends, especially not over a fucking ORG.

As of right now, we're going for Lexi, because who would want to vote out Lexi? No one (but us). Joe is freaked out thinking its him, AJ came into my dms when I'm already suffering from a migraine, and I've casually thrown a couple people under the bus in the hopes that I'll somehow be spared until at least the final 8. I'm not really interested in keeping the lucky 7 together until 7, so I'm gonna have to find a way to fracture that and get Brian or Chloe out sooner rather than later.

"andante"

- I'm playing with small stars holy shit. Brian knows that 1. Hesh and Zach have the idol 2. Hesh and Zach won't want to go with the end with him 3. Hesh and Zach will target him once AJ, Andrew, Lexi, and I are gone 4. I am willing to go to the end with him 5. He has a better chance at beating me than with people he is with and YET he still wants to stick with that side. So fucking infuriating. The constant ghosting and arrogance on display this season makes it so unfun to play. 10 minutes til Tribal starts, hopefully this tie vote works out

"andante"

- Sure enough, my dumb ass flopped the challenge hard. Gotta love it! As for the two winners, we had ties on both ends - Joe and Andrew on one end, Brian and Sam on the other. Tiebreaker occurs and Sam and Andrew are immune. The homies are pissed off; a lot of them are sick of Andrew cockroaching. To make matters scarier, we're given another twist: Sam and Andrew have the choice to either split immunity or steal. If one splits and the other steals, the splitter loses immunity and the stealer has it for TWO rounds instead of one. Fearing the worst, I'm surprised to find that both choose to split. I was positive Andrew would be immune twice, smh.

Without any numbers left to split, the Lucky 7 (Toereos plus Sam) opt to pile our votes on one person and hope for the best. Personally, I want AJ out of here. He's too much of a loose cannon to keep around this environment and he's the only one out of the Rubicante 4 I consider a legitimate threat. Zach, however, shoots it down - he thinks AJ could be a number. Dude, you do realise we're pagonging them, right? What does a number matter if he's going soon anyways? Grr.

Realising that something needs to be done soon, I bite the bullet and tell Brian about my cargo. He, on his part, is over the moon. I think the both of us have twigged onto the fact that we can't stay with Toereos permanently - if it comes down to us as the final 7, the four piece of Zach, Hesh, Sam and Liam will eat me, Brian and Chloe. However, now simply is not the right time to do it. Ultimately, we need to take a few members of the Rubicante 4 out so that we can assert a majority over the Alichino 4 while not being outnumbered ourselves. My current thinking is to wait it out until Final 10 and then use an idol for a 5-0 vote, but I'd rather hold onto it. Alas, we'll see.

After much discussion, it looks like we're going for Lexi. I was initially fully against this idea, but after thinking it through it really is the best option. Joe is fully expecting to be hit tonight, so if an idol is dropped it'll be for him. Isaiah is paranoid because of everyone thinking he flipped, so if HE'S got the pre-merge idol he'll drop that. Zach isn't gonna get AJ go home, and Andrew's immune. None of them think Lexi will be the target.

My only real concern is the confidence Joe, Andrew and AJ have. AJ has stated to me in PM that he 100% believes we'll be drawing rocks tonight. I don't know how the math for that works, but it makes me worried that we've got another planned flipper. Potentially Zach? No, it wouldn't wash. He's tight with AJ, clearly, but he's also in a majority within a majority. It can't be Hesh, because he and Joe hate each other. Sam's in a good spot, so not him. Liam's too unstable to risk losing more connections, imo, but he's also apparently tight with Isaiah and Lexi. Maybe him? Fuck, I dunno. Chloe's somewhat distant a lot of the time, but also insisted Andrew didn't go last round and insisted Isaiah didn't go this round. Is she working with them? Again, I dunno. I know Brian and I didn't flip. Guess I need to wait and see. Praying this works.