I Am the Deity of This Constellation/Confessionals

Day 14
"equuleus"

- We’re getting closer and closer to merge, and I’m just so ready to be done with this prologue and let the scheming begin in earnest. I’ve been steadily accumulating power duos, and I have like 10 by now, all in different corners of the game, so some backstabbing is going to be inevitable. There’s Caeb, who is probably the person I’d be most likely to be friends with outside the game and has just as many schemes in his heart as I do, there’s Isaiah who I’ve been through everything with so far, there’s Nathaniel and Nicole, who I haven’t seen since our original tribes but who I each connected very strongly with, and have now spent the whole game together (I wonder if they’d be interested in a trio come merge), there’s CJ, my day zero pal, and there’s Martynas who just has a heart of gold and so much love and loyalty and it’s gonna suck when I inevitably have to rip his heart out.

Even though I’m technically at the bottom of a 4-3 split, I like to think people don’t care about original tribal lines anymore and that I’m actually in a great position. I fully believe caeb is with me, at least for now, and even if the original Monoceros are more united than I think they are, I don’t think they’d come for me. There are a lot of quieter players on this tribe, but I think at least Isaiah and Matty are in my corner and I might be able to get there with Natalie. My impression of Natalie is that she’s a bit hard to talk to and as a result probably doesn’t have a lot of close connections but if I put in the work getting to know her, it could really pay off for me. In meanjin I made the mistake of underestimating a quiet player who I thought would be an easy vote and turned out to be anything but. I won’t make that mistake again.

I think Caeb might want to go for Pendant if we go to tribal and I could be very on board with that idea. I think the idea of us ulonging the Lithuania alums is really funny even though I’m not actually threatened by them at all the way other people seem to be. And literally all I know about Pendant is that according to Devin, he was catnips ride or die. And oh boy, catnip. Wild that she’s the only person left in the game who I haven’t met in any in game capacity yet (even Loren I got to play 7 blooms with). I hate metagaming and don’t want to do it but I’ll admit I’m very anxious about reuniting with Catnip. We have this sibling rivalry dynamic where we started orgs at the same time and were incredibly close in the beginning and then have definitely grown apart a bit in our values both in and out of the game, but I like to think there’s a lot of love there still too, just also a lot of competitiveness. I would love to work with her this game but I also want to be realistic and I think that no matter what I do she’ll always be a little jumpy with me, and I’ll be the same way. Plus even if we do work together, she makes a move against an ally who she sees as a big threat early merge or literally every game she plays. And I think that person could easily be me if I’m not careful. So am I open to working with catnip? 100%! But do I like the sound of potentially cutting a number for her before it can come back to bite me? Also yes

"monoceros"

- i survived TC and the swap happened. i will write about swap tomorrow, but i just wanted to say that DAMN i didn't realized how much i missed chatting with Catnip! before the game we were chatting daily, and no there was 14 days with no messages. but i think i know her well. we both are competitive. we will find a time to turn on each other, and hopefully i will do it to her before she does it to me. i NEED to end as the most successful Lithuanian in 703 history! but that also means that after we backstab each other - we will need to spend another 2-3 weeks without talking? it will be boring!

"equuleus"

- Me and CJ are absolutely vibing over oreos rn I think I might've made a new best friend

"equuleus"

- Also rest in wild west pieces Samb. I really liked him a lot and was excited to play with him again but he was sadly the least connected out of him Caeb and Devin, and there was no way in hell I was flipping on Conch and Martynas. It's just how it gotta be sadly

"monoceros"

- Boy oh Boy.... i totally forgot how AWFUL it is to play in ORG with a good friend. like it needs to keep the balance between the friendship and the game. yeah, my strategy in these cases is "if one vote/one game can destroy the friendship - it's not the friendship worth keeping" - but it's still gonna be tricky. amazing to reunite with Catnip to talk about life, but tricky when it goes to game talk.

so short summary about the new tribe:

at 1st look, there's like 4 OG yellow vs 3 OG purple, this might be good, right? NO! as it appears - Okie is not a fan of Nathaniel.

me/Nicole/Nathaniel were super close on our 1st tribe, Catnip is mine and Nathaniel's great friend, it should be easy to make a 4 out of this group, right? NO, as it appears Nicole got close to Loren during swap.

swapped tribes could allign. there's 2-2-3 so in a vacuum, it would make sense for the 4 swapped members to allign against a tribe of 3 (aka me+Devin would allign to Catnip and Okie against Yellow 2.0.). NO! as it appears Devin is too close to Loren from their time in OG tribes....

i think at this point there's 3 people who wouldn't vote for me (Catnip/Nathaniel/Nicole) but it's not a group of people i could make to work together. damn it. we will see how it goes.

on other news.... I GOT SEPARATED FROM CONCH?!?!?!?! HOW DARE YOU, HOSTS? Conch and Isaiah are absolutely the best, and it's sad without them. i hope we will be able to reunite at merge better than reunion of Star Darlings which never happened...

"equuleus"

- Surprise, surprise!! Another swap. I felt like there was an understanding from everyone that there was supposed to be a swap this round. And I think I am pleasantly surprised of the result. The only person I am just now meeting for the first time ever is Caeb. I think that is a good thing for me overall. And I'm always wanting to make new friends! Pendant is in my tribe, which makes me a tad bit nervous moving forward just because...y'know....I voted him out. But, he always seemed to be a guy that will let bygones be bygones. I am back with the Nemo Memorial Alliance with Conch and Isaiah. I am still very skeptical of Conch. I am wondering if they think there is some kind of Lithuanian alliance. But, I mean you only have Pendant and I in the tribe and we didn't really have a relationship. But I am still thinking about that Hickman vote. Don't underestimate, Conch. They are a player for sure.

"equuleus"

- Pendant may be back, but he has not changed one bit. I barely had to speak to him before he spilled the beans on what happened with the Nemo vote. I mean, I gave him a little information about my pre-merge experience. But, man.

So now I'm thinking "oh, he wants to trust me." But then Conch comes to me and tells me Pendant gave them the tea. The tea I've already drank??? That did not take long literally at all. So, I told CJ, and Pendant tells HIM the way the Nemo vote went. And I will go ahead and bet that any person Pendant has a relationship with knows about the Nemo vote that already didn't know.

I guess you can't teach an old (bird) new tricks.

"monoceros"

- Ok, so we've swapped again, and somehow I am still on Monoceros. (side note: I am the only person to not change tribe beaches at all. Not super important but just an interesting fact.) Swapping right after you've turned on someone who was aligned with you can be a disturbing prospect because you don't know how your former teammates are going to react to your move. Luckily, Loren seemed to accept my reasoning that Samb just wasn't playing that hard and wasn't pulling his weight. Cat has ... not asked about it. Either she doesn't care or she's logged it away as information for later.

Overall this swap is ... not great for me. While on the surface it seems not bad because I've swapped with two of my closer allies from Monoceros 1.0 (Cat and Loren) and one close ally from Monoceros 2.0 (Martynas), I feel like I don't have a lot of power in the tribe. Loren told me that in Vulpecula 2.0 he managed to flip Nathaniel and Nicole to his side to vote out Nemo, and that they were people in his pocket for the AJ vote as well. Him having 3 numbers while Cat and I only have 1 each is concerning. He has also expressed that he wants to vote out Okie first, which is ... ok with me. But if that happens I worry he'll say that Marty has to be next, and I don't want that.

It's hard to see exactly what can be done about it though. Do I really want to spend a bunch of social capital to flip the vote on Loren on a premerge tribe? Especially when he's a pretty close ally. I feel like the time is not right, but I do run the risk of losing potential power while feeding Loren's. As long as he's working with me this is fine, and he be better served being a shield for me down the line. Maybe right now the move is to hype him up to as many people as possible, and maybe let something slip about the fact that he was the original one who was trying to target the Lithuania people. That might get Cat a bit more on my side and keep both of them as my allies, but separate from each other.

In the meantime, I feel like we have a decent chance of winning immunity. Let's see if we can just ignore our problems for a little bit longer. Time to grab our digital sumo punchers and pummel each other into submission.

"equuleus"

- OKAY SWAP SO

the swap is honestly like scary good for me? like could be problem how scary good it is LKFDJ but merge here i come! like not to be too confident too arrogant but i don't think theres even a chance i get voted out of this constellation

ummm i was gonna type out a full confessional but i think i've decided i'm just gonna do another video one they are so much easier for me LOL

video conf to come! maybe after we lose this challenge tho lol

Day 15
"monoceros"

- short update is that I miss CJ A LOT, and I occasionally miss Matty too. very glad to win here, and I'm especially glad to have won my own match, especially cause it was against Pendant. he was the one I was afraid of the most. those couple hours of practising with Nicole really helped. speaking of which, she's such a sweetheart!! I liked her from text, but in voice she is wonderful, and I'd prefer having her around.

made an alliance with Martynas and Nathaniel, planted seeds there against Devin/Loren. Devin told me Loren wanted Okie out, and I have not told that to Okie yet, because I don't want to start those plans unless we need to go to tribal. way too much of "word will get out and around" kind of thing, so I'm just gonna chill while I can. I do want to keep Okie around for a bit more, at least until Devin/Loren are gone.

Martynas has told before me he loved Conch a lot. and now Nathaniel mentioned liking Conch a lot too. this makes it pretty clear they're a trio. I don't think that's a danger to me for the most part, but if/once we're at something small like F6 or so, I would need to take care of that. also, Nicole is probably planning to work close with Caeb and it seemed like she would like me in on it, based on some poking around she did with me. I'd be down. hehe.

"equuleus"

- I hate anticlimactic tribals but I would be shocked if Pendant isn’t ded here. Most of the tribe said he barely speaks so he seems like the easy boot

"equuleus"

- I was initially worried since there’s 3 members of this tribe I haven’t been on a tribe with yet, but I am thriving! I proposed the idea of an alliance with Conch and Caeb and they both loved it! I am the fig. Plus I have my old alliance with Conch and Matty and Matty seemed very glad to keep. But the biggest part of this swap is how much I have bonded with CJ. We are literally the same person. We have so much in common and our convos are so lively. I don’t want to jump the gun but I can see us working together for the long hall. He’s fkn great. Lastly, there is Natalie who is a bit tough to talk to. I wouldn’t mind seeing her go, and I’ve heard multiple tribe mates say the same thing. Overall I feel like I am in a great position right now. I have allies all around me and I feel like I have made the absolute most out of what I thought was a bad swap. I am continuing to make myself proud this season, and I will make sure I stay on this path. Here’s a tribe ranking, kinda weird since I’m on mobile but Conch > CJ > Caeb > Matty > Natalie > Pendant. E

"monoceros"

- I am starting to prepare for the upcoming merge. First things first I have to make it there, priority one for that is keeping Me, Martynas, Nicole, and Nathaniel strong so we can guarantee merge. Nathaniel is a little wary of me which makes sense I am wary of him as well. I need to put a little work in with him to make sure he doesn't try and get funny. I also have been working on Deven and if we win out to merge I'm going to try and form something with him. Loren. Catnip and I are still relatively tight but that needs to be tightened so if we go into merge with OG Monoceros in the majority I have as many connections as possible keeping me safe until things inevitable blow up. Loren is a wild card, but I love wildcards and if I can ever get on at the same time as him I would like to try and feel him out more. while the other tribe is at tribal I'm hoping Conch or Isaiah gets sniped here. I think they are really dangerous players and I really want Caeb/Matty/Natalie/CJ safe

"equuleus"

- Well, we lost the challenge. BUT I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT SCORED. Joe Anglim better start rolling in the grave because watch out. A new challenge beast is in town...jk jk. I am very intrigued with this vote. I don't really know or understand where anyone is in terms of how they see me fitting into their game. But I'm hoping that there is a clear plan before 6:54PM EDT.

"equuleus"

- So after talking to everyone, I am feeling very secure. I have previous alliance with Conch and Isaiah who I think will be loyal to it, which keeps me safe from them. In addition, I have an alliance with CJ and Natalie and neither of them want me to go. So, that's four votes. Which means, I don't expect to go home. Maybe that's arrogant, but at the same time I don't think any of these people want me to go because they need me. Plain and simple.

"equuleus"

- So it seems like Pendant is the obvious target. Everyone is having the same feelings I had with him in Lithuania. He can be very tough to talk to at times and his activity levels have not been as spot on as they were back then. For me, this is tough because I have actually really enjoyed Pendant this time around. Not that I didn't before, but I wasn't working with him. This time, it felt like we were developing much more of a friendship. But at the same time, the Lithuania target will be pretty much gone which will be for my benefit for sure.

"equuleus"

- I think my biggest weakness in Meanjin was just not knowing how to pace myself. I came out of the gate at an 11, and even though I made some incredibly strong bonds with some of the cast, other people were put off by my energy and my weird idol lies, and made plans to blindside me. This time I'm taking it slow and steady, and I think I've stealthily put myself in an extremely good position.

Caeb and I are getting incredibly close - he may be my #1 at this point, although I'm not planning to play the type of game where I'll necessarily have one consistent #1 the entire time. We've been VCing before each tribal we go to together and I talking through ideas, and I think being able to strategize openly with another person has been very freeing for both of us. We're both very friendly, but each of us also has a gamebot streak, and it's fun to let it out in small doses around Caeb. But it's not just Caeb, I also have really strong relationships at this point with Isaiah, CJ, Matty, and even Natalie, despite her being conversationally quite dry. So yeah, Pendant better be going home tonight or I won't be a happy camper.

I'm not sure when we're merging, but I imagine jury won't start until merge, so it's important to me to make sure that I'm on good terms with everyone in this tribe who survives the vote. Most of these people are making merge, and treating them like they're on the bottom, only to get all buddy buddy with them come merge is not the way to get anyone's trust. So even though Natalie is definitely the least social besides Pendant (who literally hasn't been replying to anyone's DMs) I've been working hard to establish a strong bond with her, and I think we're getting there.

We had a really good conversation last night about how orgs are a white mans playground, and all the bullshit we've seen. She opened up about the racial biases she's faced during her long org career, and it meant a lot to me that she shared that with me, and we traded notes on our respective experiences as non-male players in very male dominated games. I think Natalie is someone I could go deep with, who could be a fiercely loyal ally, if I lock her trust down now, so I'm going to keep at it, ensuring that our bond is as strong as possible.

"equuleus"

- It seems like my strategy of being the girl who just here to have fun just have personal conversations with you is paying off. I have been pretending that I'm not really here to play the game I'm gonna here to be dragged to end. On this tribe swap I seem to have a ton of options and I'm slowly but surely building myself up. This vote is very crucial for me because it can pivot my game a better shot at the win or losing. I was on the bottom of my OG tribe purposely because I didn't want to be an early threat I know from experience early threats go pre merge or early merge and I didn't want that to happen to me.

"equuleus"

- The good ol' swap has once again tapped me on the shoulder and whispered "Hey bitch!" But anyways, I have Caeb and Pendant back which, if we decided to stick to OG Monoceros lines then that's not an issue, and I still have Natalie and Matty close so that's a good sign as well. In addition, I've been reunited with Conch who was my Day Zero partner, and we hit it off quite well so I'm optimistic we can reaffirm that bond and work together going forward. And, there's Isaiah who I have not met before. Since being on Equuleus with him, he's been quite pleasant and we have a scary amount of things in common (it's nice to meet someone who understands the complete deliciousness that is mint chocolate). So, once again I'm entering a swap in what I believe is a solid position; everyone on my tribe seems to want me in their corner that's definitely good for the sake of having options. Meanwhile, this current vote is pretty straightforward; Pendant's social game is just severely lacking with everybody and that makes keeping him around really difficult to justify. At this point my relationship with everyone else on the tribe is strong so I'm crossing my fingers we can pull through in the next challenge, because voting any of the other 5 out would be highly difficult.