Board Thread:Survivor: Australia (Season 4)/@comment-4379763-20150108035100



Hello fuckers.

Well, final two, welcome to my Jury speech. I will not give you a congratulations, but rather a "hello". As I do not give such greetings to those who are unworthy of them.

Before you proceed, I must give you a disclaimer. This Jury speech is incredibly and terribly bitter. If you are faint of heart, don't play ORGs. Okay moving on...

I thank you for your kind words said in your RoPs. I don't know if they were genuine or just to kiss ass, and frankly I don't give two shits. You also both took 30,000 years to post your opening speeches, despite having so much time to post them. I know it's a stupid thing to complain about, but it truly was irritating.

I've played a lot of ORGs. I've been in many finals, and served on many Juries. However, in all my millions of ORG days; not once have I ever seen a group of finalists this terrible and putrid. The fact that you guys made it this far over so. many. people that worked their asses off this season and got beaten by you is unforgivable. It's offensive to the other contestants, especially the ones you guys voted out, and it's offensive to the hosts: who worked their asses off to make this a great season for us. Then you had to come in and shit all over it.

I just want one thing out of you two. I have no questions, as I'm 99.98% sure who I'm voting. Firstly, apologize to these hosts. They worked so hard and you trashed their work. It's offensive as fuck and you should be damn proud they're good enough hosts to not rig it against you.

Secondly, admit it. Admit that your game was shit. You'll never be a good player unless you acknowledge your mistakes and vow to overcome them. The worst players are not the bad players, but the bad players that can't accept the fact they sucked. I'll feel much prouder to be voting for someone who knows they did poorly than for someone who doesn't.

Finally, admit that you know you will be by far the worst 703 winner ever, even if you do win. It's common fact. The truth will set you free. No need to run from the truth when it's already here.

Now, I shall proceed to rip you both limb from limb. I hope you're ready for this. And read through carefully, I might throw in some questions for you to answer.

Marco: What can I say? You were inactive half the season. When you came back to be active, you just did what you were told rather than playing your own game. You had '''so. many. opportunities''' to change this game. Yet you didn't go with them.

Instead, you voted out people you didn't want to vote and were like "I really don't want to vote you, but I have to since it's what I was told". Just tell me why. Why didn't you make a move? Don't give the standard: "I made FTC, therefore it worked" answer. Sometimes it's better to go early as a power house than make it far, and even win, as a goat.

You didn't want to vote out half the people you did, yet you did. Again, why? Why not make a move? I understand sometimes making too many moves is bad, but at least SOME moves would have been nice. It would have shown you're a fierce player who truly can deserve the title of this season. But no. You felt the need not to.

It's just sad. My last question for you is: Why were you so goddamn inactive half the season? That's legitimately the one factor that makes voting you soooo hard. Don't make up a bullshit excuse either, like "I was in a coma" or some shit. May be an exaggeration, but I can tell when I'm being bullshitted. That's all I have for you, but my true bitterness goes to the little scumbag sitting next to you...

Tommy: Fucking sigh. Let me make one thing perfectly clear before we go any further here: I wanted to give you a chance so badly. I wanted to say: You know, maybe he's not so bad. Maybe he can get my vote after all. But then you went and trashed it, and ruined any single ounce of respect I ever had for you as a player. By saying the words: "i'm playing a good game".



As I said earlier, there is  NOTHING  worse than a bad player who can't admit they're bad. You know what? I have more respect for a piece of rotten dog shit laying on the side of the street that's been run over six times, pissed on by a drunken homeless man, and came on by a horny ass teenage boy than I have for your fucking game!

Let's start with the basics and go over the shit you fucked up, because goddamn there's a lot of it.

Social game: God awful. A fucking dumb, blind and deaf kid has way more social game than you could ever hope for. Let's go over this:

The moment someone realizes you did something stupid and confronts you about it, you see the message and '''DON'T. FUCKING. RESPOND. ''' WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?! That is literally the biggest rookie mistake in the fucking book!!!! You know what, that's an insult. Even a rookie would know better than that!

Then when you finally do respond, you reply with one word answers like "OK" and bullshit. It's so goddamn offensive that someone like you made FTC. It's not only bitter inducing, it's a fucking insult. It's an insult to everyone else in this whole season and everyone else in every other season who played great games and didn't get the joy of Final Tribal Council.

You're sitting in a seat you don't belong in. You're a peasant sitting in a King's chair. It's a fucking horrendous sight, and I'd rather slit my throat than see you sitting there. Anyways, back on topic to social game:

You're. obnoxious. as. fuck. Literally, you never shut the fuck up!!! I can't tell you how many times I was doing some other shit on FB and all of a sudden: DING DING DING DING DING TOMMY'S SPAMMING THE CHAT AGAIN DING DING DING. It. drove. me. fucking. insane!!!! Not once was it ever relevant either! No one gives a fuck about your dissected cats! No one gives a fuck about how short your track uniform is! No one gives a fuck about the shit you just took and how much it smelled worse than your goddamn fucking putrid excuse of a game!!!!!

Moving on, what else you fucked up. Strategic game: Nonexistent. You were worse than me in HvV. You flipped all the time, but not once did you ever think it out. You were so goddamn gullible it hurts. You doubted your allies more than ever, which is common in Survivor, but fucking damn. You overdid it.

I came to you the night Jessy was voted out saying: Why did you tell Jennifer everything? After not responding despite seeing the message and I yelled at you enough, you were like: durrrr jennifer told me ur targeting me and showed me a screenshot so i voted alredy

That is pure gullible. You were played the fucking fuck out of in this season!!

How the Hell don't you realize it?! You think you were the best and the mastermind, when in reality a shard of frozen piss from a monkey was more of a mastermind than you can ever hope to be.

You're gullible. You have no social game. You are obnoxious as fucking Hell. You. are. an. ABOMINATION

You make shitty players everywhere look like fucking Adam Bongo! You suck so much at ORGs that it's painful! You are literally a shitstain on ORGs everywhere.

You don't deserve to win this game, you don't deserve to be in FTC, you don't deserve to be the last man, you don't deserve to have made the merge, you don't deserve to have made it past first Tribal and you don't deserve to be in this season!!!! You don't fucking deserve your goddamn arrogance either.

You're so goddamn full of yourself and you have no reason whatsoever to be. Tommy, you are hands down, by FAR the WORST player I have EVER played with in my entire life!!!!!!!!!

Blake, Angeleo, Shannon, Topher, you name it! They all are wayyyyyy better than you! You have no redeeming qualities whatsofuckingever and you are a fucking disgrace to this wiki and all ORGs.

Don't even try and sass me or bitch back. It'd be much better for your image if you didn't respond to this at all. This whole season your big ass ego was in your face and you thought the Jury was gonna be all sunshine and roses and vote you to win this game.

Let me tell you something: Being raped in the ass by a porcupine while doing push-ups on a pack of knives with two fire pokers in both my eyes is funner than playing with you this season. I'd sooner eat a shit covered skunk that's been dipped in semen and shoved up the ass of an elephant who has never bathed than do it again. You fucking pissed me off so goddamn much. That's all I have to say to your ass.

Anyways, may luck be with whoever wins this season. You don't deserve it, whichever of you wins it. That's all I gotta say.

- Luke 