Board Thread:Survivor 21: Kerala/@comment-30289320-20161208093141

Dear Superbeard, Assa, and Fucker,

You all suck super monkey balls. I hope y'all get run over by a wild pack of old Chinese bus-goers, and then one day realize once more that you indeed suck super monkey ba--

Kidding, kidding. Congrats on making it to final tribal council! No doubt all you put in some decent work to get here! You must all be very proud of yourselves! Wait, have I been saying all? Whoops!

But we'll save that for later! First, I want to thank the hosts for putting effort into what turned out to be a fun season! I was a bit apprehensive about playing an open ID Facebook/Wikia game coming from a strict alias community,  but I had a good time playing without having to worry too much about being ID'd and then promptly insta-targetted! Second, I want to thank the one or two viewers who I assume took the time out of their day to read my walls of nonsense! I hope at least one of you doesn't hate me!!1

Alright, so with that shit out of the way, let's get to it. What I'm going to do here is offer my perspective on your respective games this season before getting to my questions, in order to offer context for them. Feel free to point out something you feel is untrue, both in my post, or between each other's posts. I want my understanding of your games to be as clear as possible before making my decision. Let's start with...

SUPERBEARD

Mr. Beard, I very much like that you played the game a satisfactory level of hard this season. I also liked your social game early on. Your Opening Statement was probably the best of the three, as well, even if they all were kind of eh. Unfortunately, this is where my compliments start to fizzle out, because there was a lot of random shit you did that left me baffled, as well. Exhibit A - Your constant paranoia. Oh my god, I don't know how you get anything done in real life if you worry THIS much about an online Survivor game, lool. There were times when I swear our conversations were: ''"Okay, so our plan is set. Sounds great!" "Yes, they will never see it coming! By the way, you're not voting me out right?" "Ugh, what? No?" "Oh okay, I trust you 100% so I did not think so. But we're both voting X right?" "Yeah, that's sort of the plan...?" "Yes, I know, I was just making sure, I trust you. You're not voting me out though right?" ''

I see two options here; either you really were this much of a paranoid mess for literally no reason, or you were pretending. Which brings me to Exhibit B -- Your Random Acts of Unkindness. Remember "playing with me" before the final 4 deadline because "it was fun"? That was annoying, and not the first time you've been kind of a dick for no reason. ESPECIALLY considering there was a 50% chance of me being a juror, and you were immune and already going to FTC whether I thought you were a threat or not. Who mans is this? It makes it hard for me to vote for you, even while respecting a fast and loose game.

ASSA

I'm going to try to not be a dick as much as possible here, but I have to say what needs to be said - so apologies in advance if you take it personally outside of the game. So. . . why did you apply if you weren't going to play? There's a PRETTY BIG difference between an UTR game and a nonexistent one. Did you just get super busy and assume you'd be picked off instead of someone actually putting in effort? If not, I simply can't fathom how you get into games in the first place. I'm not even trying to be a cunt so much as I'm just trying to understand what the deal is. I thought your OS was fairly fitting, though, seeing as how it pretty much ended as soon as the merge began. Congrats on making it to FTC at least, I guess! Even if your game resume might as well be an M&M or something, kek.

FUCKER

I think you played a safe game. . . it wasn't mega impressive or anything, and you never REALLY had to show strategic ability in working from the bottom, but that's fine to me. Not every winning game needs to be flashy. Now if you WILL win, that's still to be determined!!1 Here's the deal with you -- I WANT to talk about your "blunders", like how you were very often transparent to me in regards to your motivations, or whenever you were attempting to manipulate me. I feel like that's fair after I did it with Superbeard. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut on the other side of that coin, you got Catherine to believe that you were sharing real idol clues with her literally right after attempting to blindside her, so maybe it doesn't matter much if your plays worked against ME so much as they simply worked on everyone else they needed to in order for you to get to F6, where you were immune, and then F5, where you could play your idol. It works well enough. But I've got to give you a forewarning -- you may have shot yourself in the foot a bit with your overly detailed OS. Usually you don't want to give TOO MUCH away, because you end up trapping yourself in a corner where others may notice inconsistencies between your point of view, and what really happened, leading them to think less of your game as a whole. I don't know how much that'll come into play, but I figured I should mention it since I spoke about the other OS's and shit!

I think my questions for you will focus around the difference between a safe game, and a fast and loose game. There is SOME element of luck in regards to finding yourself in possession of Double Vote you could use past the item deadline, coughcough. This was, however, a bit counterbalanced in others literally protecting it for you, coughcoughagain. And of course you beat me fair and square in the firemaking challenge. So, I don't know, we'll see how this goes, eh? 8)

Now who's ready for some questions?! No? Oh well, here they are anyway YOLO

Kon - What would you attribute to the gradual deterioration of your social game over the merge? Was there any strategy to constantly being a paranoid mess? And if so, how well do you think it's going to work now that you've reached FTC?

Kon - You made some moves in this game, and I can respect that. But I'd say the biggest barrier to me voting for you (on pure effort alone) is the way you were toward me at F4. I understand being a dick to make yourself seem like less of a jury threat (it's what I tried to do at times), but you were IMMUNE with a ticket to FTC! And here you are "playing" with me, someone who may very well be one of your jurors in a matter of hours. Why should I vote for you after that? Were you just trying to make me bitter so that if you lost, you could use a "bitter jury" as your scapegoat? I'm really not against voting for you, but I need answers.

Asa - At what point did you realize you were the biggest goat in the game, and why didn't you try to change that instead of just being Tucker's honorary second vote the whole second half of the merge? Or was your OS not a lie, and you really do feel you played a great UTR game?

Asa - OHSHITWAT it's suddenly a final 2, and you're immune! Aren't you lucky?! Who do you take with you to Final 2, and why?

Tucker - While I said before that a safe, less-flashy game can win effectively, do you think it can win against one that IS flashy and more-so risky? Why?

Tucker - If you didn't win immunity at 6, played your idol, and slipped into F5 - what would your plan have been to make it through that round after I somehow stopped sucking ass at challenges for once and won an immunity?

All - Why do you think your game warrants this win more-so than the others?

All - Has anyone really been far even as decided to go use want to do look more like?

All - I'm not sure any of you three are Star Wars nerds, so this should be fun! If each juror was either a famous Jedi or infamous Sith Lord, who would they be and why?

Once again, congrats on making it to the end, and good luck! I look forward to your responses unless they're bad, in which case I don't maybe perhaps.

Love,

Jake/Ry/Spooky 