Cowabunga/Confessionals

Rainbow=

Day 31
"yangra"
 * -|Black and White=

- Holy motherfucking shit, I’m in the final 6 and somehow have no votes against me still, even though I’ve been playing this game so damn hard, aggressively playing every side and clearly the biggest social threat in the game. And yet, everyone is so desperate to prove their loyalty to me that the person gunning for me got voted out in the first unanimous vote since the premerge, and everyone he tried to rope in convinced him to vote Isaiah instead. Nobody in this game can agree on anything, except for the fact that they want to protect me. I’ve got an army of simps here, and it honestly breaks my heart that I’m going to have to cut most of them, especially since this is a final 2.

I think at this point I still have a lot of options open. Just about everyone is promising loyalty to me. That said, while I adore Caeb, while he’s the person in this game who I’d be most likely to be friends with irl, I think he’s also the person who’s least likely to be under my spell, plus he’s told me himself that his plan has been to lay low the early merge and then start making big moves in the late merge, and I could easily be one of those big moves. So in a perfect world, he’d go next. The problem is, he might have an idol, and even if he doesn’t, Isaiah is going to want Nathaniel next, and I don’t know if CJ will want to take out 2 members of our alliance in a row. But maybe I could make it a 3-2-1? All I know is that as much as I love Caeb, he’s a strategic, ruthless player, but also still looks enough like a goat that people would take him to the end over me in a final 2. So really a lose-lose person to go to the finale with. And I’ve come in 3rd in 2 different seasons with a final 2, and I’m really not trying to repeat history here.

Isaiah is another interesting one. I think on one hand he’s the person who I have the most guaranteed of a win against, since we’ve played almost identical games as far as our positioning, votes, and constellations, but his social game is a lot weaker than mine and I was in the driver’s seat for basically every move we decided together. On the flip side, I think people might realize that, and if we end up in the final 3 together along with another person and that person wins immunity, they’d have to be seriously brainwashed to cut Isaiah over me. I could also see Isaiah making a move against me so the jury doesn’t accuse him of being in my shadow all game. On the other hand, he isn’t great at challenges, and he really has been my right hand man all game so I’d hate to lose him now. My current hope is that if I keep him around and he does try to pull some shit, whoever he goes to will come to me and flip it back around on him.

CJ has been the person I’ve trusted most this whole time, who’s always looped me into every plan and made it clear that he wants to go to the end with me (maybe he’d cut me at F3 if we were there with a goat, but possibly not even then). That said, Martynas has singlehandedly put me in a position where if I’m in the final 2, everyone will say I played for him to win. Even though if anything, I think it’s been the other way around.

Right now, I have 2 very different paths. The people who I’d have the hardest time beating in the end are Nathaniel and CJ, even though I really do think I’ve played better than either. But Nathaniel is the underdog and CJ is the overdog, and those are compelling narratives, plus they’re the 2 biggest challenge beasts left. So I could go to final 3 with them, where I’m pretty much guaranteed to make FTC, and then I just argue my ass off. Or, I could go to the final 3 with Nicole and Isaiah, acknowledging that I probably need to win the final immunity challenge then, but that I’m also more likely to win it against them, and also they’d be easier to beat. And maybe they really would cut the other over me, I’m genuinely not sure. But it’s way more of a risk of me getting final juror than the first option. Since none of the goats other than possibly Caeb are that good at challenges, I really don’t think I can go halfway between these 2 opposite paths. If for instance I go to final 3 with Nathaniel and Nicole, Nathaniel for sure wins the FIC and takes Nicole.

It’s a tough call. I’ve only made FTC once, and I won that game, and I’m sick of being final juror, so part of me wants to risk being a losing finalist, and cutting all the people who are most tempting to drag. But I’m also not sure the jury would respect that. Then again, I am confident in the game I’ve been playing, and in my ability to tear it up at final tribal council. I honestly haven’t decided. I kind of just want to 3-2-1 Caeb and then make up my mind later. And I’m sure that my plans are about to be blown apart since we’re definitely about to see my idol plays, but I like to think I’m well sheltered for the coming storm, and the fact that everybody warned me Matty was coming for me makes me even more sure of that.

"yangra"

- The Martynas vote was also such a predicament for me. Martynas was a very close ally of mine the entire game, and he had done a lot to keep me safe in the past. Him Conch and I also relied on each other for idol guesses.

Following the Okie vote, I was currently in an alliance with everyone in the game, and it seemed that Conch and I were the swing votes to decide who leaves. Our alliance of Me/Conch/CJ/Caeb/Matty is something I had been relying on since we merged, but I had also become extremely close to Martynas and Nicole. Going for Nathaniel would've been ideal here, but is immunity win made it impossible to do. After Martynas tried to rally votes onto CJ, it was obvious that CJ pushed to get Martynas out this round, with Caeb and Matty joining in. The other 3 decided to go for Caeb.

Conch and I being left in the middle, this became an extremely difficult decision. Especially since Conch told me that I was going to be the one to make the decision for us. Martynas had become someone I grew very close to, much closer than Caeb, but flipping on my alliance of 5 for a group of 3 that may not choose me and Conch over each other was a very risky decision. Especially since CJ is one of my closest allies, and keeping Martynas twice in a row would've screwed him directly.

One of my main reasons for coming back this season was to fix the mistakes I made in my past two seasons. In Mount Vesuvius, the thing that destroyed my game was that I played with my heart rather than my brain, and I made too much of an effort to try to save my friends over making sure I was doing what was right for my game.

Knowing that, I knew that keeping Martynas in would've harmed my game more than it would've done it some good. He was a better friend to me than Caeb, but I knew that I needed to keep my alliance of 5 strong for that vote, break up the trio of Martynas/Nathaniel/Nicole, and make sure CJ still could rely on me by taking out his #1 target.

Martynas was very angry and scolded me and Conch for choosing personal friendships, even though that was not the case at all as I mentioned above. I know that he had a perception of CJ/Matty/Caeb making f3, but I don't think that's correct. I haven't seen any indication of those 3 being that close, and I believe he underestimated my relationship with CJ. Cj and Conch both denied that they met up in person as Conch was recovering from COVID, so I believe them.

Either way, I believe what I did here was right. I kept my alliance strong and I split up a threating trio. As Conch put all of the pressure on me to decide who left, I guess I can take the credit for Martynas leaving? Which makes up for me having little pull with the Okie vote. Having that type of power is nerve racking because if we had failed, it would've been on me. BUT being able to dictate how votes go is extremely fun, I'm not gonna lie.

I also regrouped with Nathaniel who was rightfully frustrated with me, but there was a huge miscommunication. Apparently he heard that I had decided waayyyyy earlier in the day that Martynas was leaving. I had messaged him and Martynas right before the vote about my decision, and Nathaniel was angry with me because he thought I was beating around the bush all day and was only being upfront last minute. But that wasn't the case! I told him that I had only decided to vote out Martynas last minute, which was true, and he believed me. I thankfully managed to repair my relationship with him, but I do know that I need to watch out for him. Nicole was also very understanding and did not seem to care, which I love about her. She is never angry with how I vote, even if its not in her best interest. Having her support me despite us having different goals throughout the game is not something I've really dealt with before, and I really appreciate how great she is.

"yangra"

- The Matty vote was fairly simple. Conch and I decided that we needed to take out someone from our 5 so the jury didn't hate us LOL. I was hoping we could go for Matty as I was closer with Caeb, and thankfully Matty did the work for us. I woke up to him trying to rally CJ Nicole and Nathaniel to split up me and Conch as we were a powerful duo or whatever. I mean.. it's true but.. you know. PLUS he was mad at us for leaving him out of the Okie vote, but the tea is that I was barely even online so that's not my fault diojaldkadka. AND he was pushing HARD for us to work with Okie so like, it made sense not to tell him.

So I right away got the tea from all 3 of Nathaniel CJ and Nicole, all 3 of them wanting to keep me and go for Matty instead. Thankfully I have strong bonds with CJ and Nicole and have strengthened my bond with Nathaniel lately, as I was able to flip it back onto Matty very easily.

So despite me receiving another vote, this vote truly went great for me. Everyone on the tribe wanted to keep me and ratted Matty out right to me when they heard his plan adioadjskadkaod. I feel bad bc right before the vote I dmd him and was like "so we still doing Nathaniel right??" and he didn't message me back. I only did it incase he had an idol and I didn't want him to get sus and idol me out. Oh well! I love Matty but you can't target me and expect to survive. I'ma bad bitch you can't kill me or whatever that vine is. GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING MONEY.

Day 31
"yangra"

- SO NOW we are at final 6. That is absolutely insane to me. I can't believe that I have actually made it this far. I also didn't even realize that 100 days is possible for me, but I need to get to day 36 if my math is correct (its probably not I can't do math). So while that would be awesome, I won't get my hopes up.

Right now it seems that me and Conch may be the swing between Nathaniel/Nicole and CJ/Caeb. Personally I would rather take out Nathaniel. I feel I have the weakest bond with him sadly, and he really is a beast at challenges. I also feel more confident that Caeb won't vote me out?? Idk. I also would think that he has Martynas and Catnip locked as jury votes, which is obvious to everyone. I want him out this tribal I'd say.

CJ seemed down, and so did Caeb. I brought up the idea of a 2-2-2 incase him or Nicole have the idol. CJ seemed indifferent but Caeb seemed enthusiastic to the idea. Even though I went out by a failed split vote in MV, I feel much better that the 4 of us will stick to this. Famous last words?

Speaking of idols Caeb mentioned that CJ said the hosts told him idols expire at F6. Hmmmmmmmm. I asked the hosts and they didn't tell me. Either there was a miscommunication, or that is proof that CJ has an idol. If CJ has an idol and it does expire at 6, it doesn't matter since he's immune. If it expires at 5, he is in the F4 where he only need to win 1-2 more immunities to be in the end. We have been predicting a F2, but who knows. Either way, I would like to take out CJ the next time he loses immunity. I told him I would go to the end with him, but his threat level is rising. Martynas is likely hyping him up on the jury. CJ will be mad at me, which sucks, but I do think it is the correct thing to do.

It's weird, everyone seems to be on an equal playing field so far. There are no goats. No one is being dragged along. Any of us six could win. Which is a weird feeling because there is no telling how the rest of the game will go. Let's just hope it goes in my favor.

"yangra"

- Ideal Boot Order Assuming a F2:

F6 - Nathaniel. I went into detail my last conf, but I feel the least connected to him rn and he already has a couple jury votes lined up. My allies have already been receptive to him going, so I will push for it.

F5 - CJ This is tough. CJ and I are close. Super close. We have a F2 deal. I think he is awesome, but he is such a huge threat. The next time he loses immunity it might be time to cut him off.

F4 - Nicole. Her and Conch are exchangeable here ngl. The two of them going at 3/4 either way I have no problem with. Nicole may be tougher to beat bc of a good underdog story, but I don't know.

F3 - Conch. Assuming a F2, I would have an easier time beating Caeb. Conch and I have played almost identical games. They have been my #1 every step of the way, and we are the only 2 left that have voted correctly every tribal council. While I would love to be in the end with them, being able to separate my game from them and garner jury votes could be tough.

F2 - Me and Caeb? mostly bc I feel Caeb could be the easiest to beat out of everyone left. Plus I stan Caeb. Icon.

All of this is subjective. It could be a F3 for all I know. Someone could pull out an idol or advantage. This is just a basic blueprint, but I wouldn't be shocked if changes are made. We will see what happens! Sugma.

"yangra"

- I'm feeling anxious. Conch had mentioned to me that according to CJ and Caeb, Nathaniel and Nicole are leaning towards voting me. Do I believe that? I don't think so. Both of them have barely been online and it doesn't seem they were at the same time. I'm assume they just said that about them to make sure me and Conch don't flip? I don't know. I am hoping this will be an easy vote and Nathaniel will go.

I want to tell Nathaniel about how I am voting him so he doesn't hate me. I genuinely like him a lot and I consider him a friend, so lying to him again really sucks. But I do worry that he has the idol. And while being idoled out would be iconic, I would rather stay in LOL.

I don't know. I feel like I got everyone on board to vote Nathaniel so easily that I am not feeling paranoid. An easy vote this late in the game doesn't feel right. Hopefully that's what happens and I have successfully gotten Nathaniel out this round. If not, and it's me that's leaving, Go Piss Girl. Also Fuck You Jigme. Sugma too.

"yangra"

- Idol paranoia is running rampant. Who has it? Not me. I wish I had it. Nathaniel mentioned that Nicole might, but he's also sus of Conch. Ngl I feel like anyone could have it right now. Except for me because my maraca sized brain cannot find idols.

"yangra"

- COWABUNGA

"yangra"

- Good GOD what a mess. Disregard all of the boot order and everything I wrote before. I was right that things can change so quickly wasn't I? I had talked to both Caeb and CJ and they were both down for a Nathaniel vote, and Nicole told me the same if Nathaniel was dead in the water, and I was assuming that he was at that point.

I then woke up to Conch saying that something fishy was going on. Ig CJ and Caeb were spreading rumors that Nathaniel and Nicole were coming for me, but also that CJ was throwing out my name. I felt a bit more skeptical that CJ was coming for me since we have a F2 deal and me and him are super close, and assumed that Nathaniel had just went into survival mode to save himself. But an alliance was then created with me Conch and Nathaniel, which led to us 3 connecting the dots about how Caeb and CJ really may have been coming for me. Apparently there was some sort of miscommunication, as Nathaniel claimed that CJ and Caeb were pushing for me to go and that he was actually trying to get me to stay. Conch then corroborated this and said they heard the same. This really shocked me as I thought me and CJ were close. Caeb and I had been working together for a long time, but I was less surprised with him.

Nathaniel filled me in on the plan to take me out as Caeb and Nicole were both voting me, and CJ was likely to also. He told me and Conch he feared he was being played by CJ as I GUESS he heard from him and/or Caeb that I was pushing for him to go. Which I was. I wanted Nathaniel gone, but I guess I managed to convince Nathaniel differently? Which didn't take much effort at all on my part, which kept me covered with Nathaniel. Nathaniel then said he was willing to vote with me and Conch to save me, as he felt that CJ and Caeb were pitting us against each other (me/conch vs him/nicole). Idk if this really was super true as I actually was trying to get Nathaniel out, and Caeb likely went to him and told him that, but Conch and I convinced Nathaniel that it was him pitting us against each other.

About 10 mins before the vote, I received a message from CJ admitting to me that I was going, him not knowing I had secured Nathaniel's vote. I played the dumb + sad card saying I didn't know why it was happening and that I didn't know why I was going. I then learned that CJ did not want me gone, he was only voting me because he felt that tying the vote wasn't worth it as he assumed Nathaniel Caeb and Nicole were all voting me, and he put blame on Caeb for flipping.

I did not tell him Nathaniel was keeping me, as I didn't know how close him and Caeb were and I did not want to get idoled out. I let him vote me, and the vote tied 3-3.

After this, CJ seemed properly befuddled. He was shocked as to why Nathaniel kept me, because in his eyes Nathaniel was pushing for me to go all day. He later mentioned that Nathaniel said that he heard from me and Conch that CJ and Caeb were orchestrating my boot. This definitely is not true, as why would I tell Nathaniel that. There is a chance Conch did, and I just got grouped in. But it did seem like Nathaniel was saying that me and Conch flipped him and that we convinced him to keep me, when it reality Nathaniel was the one that initiated the flip on Caeb. I don't know the truth, but CJ then told me he didn't even want me gone, he was just under the impression that everyone else wanted me out. Nathaniel was the one that came to me and threw CJ under the bus, even though CJ didn't even want me gone. I do think Nathaniel pulled some strings here to save himself, but I do appreciate that he kept me.

I knew I had Conch as we have been close all game, and me and CJ repaired things and he was very down to keep me, and felt angry that Caeb made things so messy. Nathaniel also reassured me that he wanted me to stay, so I was like 95% sure I was good. I just had to work on Nicole.

Nicole was very honest about wanting me out due to seeing me as a threat and her not feeling threatened by Caeb. She said that she would rather Caeb stay, but was open to keeping me. I then went all out and laid out everything to her. I told her that I had her back 100%, I was more loyal to her than Caeb, I would be willing to target Conch and CJ in the future, and that I was the better option to stay. I was honest about everything because I needed to convince her to keep me, and to rely on me as we moved forward. She was honest in saying I was making some great points, so I just kept pushing and pushing. She then messaged me later saying I had convinced her and that I had her vote, so I knew I was staying. Especially since Caeb messaged me saying no one was telling him anything auidhadhaniakjda.

The votes came out and I survived. I saved myself. I am in the Final 5, and I have tied my Age of Victoria placement, something I never thought I would do. I can't fkn believe that I am here. I don't know what the outcome of this game will be, as all 5 of us are strong ass players and any of us can win. I am just happy to be here still.