Board Thread:Survivor 22: San Marcos/@comment-4603998-20170208013253/@comment-9755360-20170210235944

" However everytime you blew up in the tribe chat you would immediately apologize and try to make yourself seem like a good guy. That was a pretty major flaw in your game, for example the time you tried to call me out in the tribe chat for playing both sides just made you look bad in the long run."

 Question-related, but I'll just mix everything a bit. The reason I apologized immediately after is because I felt bad about blowing up. A feel bad when I hurt people, so I can't help to apologize, because I don't want to attack people. I think there are ways you can critisize others without doing that, and while I'm always working to improve that, I fall victim to that trap myself, and get mad. I also have this weird thing where I want to be liked by everyone. I hate fighting, no matter who it's between, and the more people that like you, the easier it is to prevent said fights. I also always try to see the best in everyone and everything (in actuality, I think it varies between seeing the very best and seeing the very worst, depending on how people around me are acting - I usually act the opposite to what they do). I also think everyone's a good person deep down, and I'm always willing to see past old things and build a new friendship. Everyone thinks differently about things, and I think seeing and hearing different sides of things are good, and help you evolve as a person. Sorry, I've been rambling for a bit.

1. I want you to talk about your blowups in the tribe chat because you had a few. And I want you to tell me how they hurt your game or helped it.

I believe they did both. Also, I only remember two blow-ups (at the F4 when it was you vs me, and the F9, when I called you and Claudia out to the Quetzals). The effect of the latter was to make the Quetzals mroe distrusting of you, but that obviously failed. I think it helped my game a little bit though - people saw me as less of a social threat, and we all know social threats were considered the most dangerous ones in this game (Elmo, Austin, Claudia). I thik the F4 thing had a bit of the same effect. However, the downside is that it Quetzal less likely to want to work with me, and it's coming back to bite me at this FTC too.

2. Do you agree with me that you were the biggest Villain? If not who do you think was?

I disagree. I've said some things about this in my probably game-hurting PSA, but I don't think I was the biggest villain of the season. I think that despite my outbreaks, I did smaller things that weren't as villainous as things others did. For example, Sim and Nick (I'd say Austin too, but he never really did it) "dragged" the Quetzals in the Catarina chat quite a lot, which I felt bad for being a part of, even though I only really said "XD" and "Yeah". I don't think my gameplay was villainous either - I didn't betray anyone until they'd betrayed me (or I had strong reason to believe they did - see Austin), and I tried my best to get my alliance to the end, and we all got there too. I only voted out Shea because he asked me to, and I tried my best to not lie to people - not being able to lie was my downfall in Canada though, so I worked to improve that this season. I think I did some villainous things, but overall, I think many people were more villainous than me, in both gameplay and personality. I think personality-wise, Shea would be the biggest villain. He didn't get along with quite a few people, and was always quick to blow up. I had a very good relation with him personally, but as a whole, I think he'd have the most villainous edit of the season. I think gameplay-wise, it is actually you. You weren't afraid to cut off anyone, or manipulate anyone, and always worked to further yourself in the game. I used my Idols to protect my allies, while you used Ellis to protect yourself (I know you did play it on me, which I appreciate, but you used it as a threatening device for much of the game).

3. I want you to pick three jurors (One must be Shea) and just tell them off a little bit for things they did in this game that you disagreed with.

Shea, why are you so emotional? You let everyone get to you, and it's pathetic to watch you go from happy to sad to mad in less than a minute. You're delusional to the point where you think you controlled this game, and you couldn't stand up for yourself at all. You just had to make everyone your enemy, and you didn't bother to check the rules, always doing things like trying to change your vote long after voting or messaging people in the game as a Juror.

Brandon, I'm in a lack of words. You had the chance to weaken Catarina, by not a little bit, but by a lot, and you decided it was a smart thing to actually vote with them? Then you come into the merge and immediately flip back, and don't even try to get to know new people like me. Your gameplay was so strange, and you put yourself in the position that led to your vote-off.

Austin, you wouldn't even have survived the first merged tribal if it wasn't for everyone else. You were rude to Hannah back in our original tribes, and you guys actually told Claudia you were voting Malik so she could get Rhi out? You didn't even try splitting votes? All you did was follow others, really, until you got voted out.

4. What was your favourite moment of the season other than making final 3?

Making the final 3 wasn't even my favourite moment, actually. There was one moment that overshadowed it by far. And that moment was making the merge. Canada has always been a dark spot in my ORG career. One of only five times I've missed the Jury in over 40 ORGs, and my first time missing the merge, and by one spot too, all because of my own stupidity that caused me to get blindsided by my own alliance over a physical threat that they knew would flip immediately at the merge. Therefore, actually making the merge and Jury felt amazing. I was crying tears of joy when I saw that I'd made it, and I felt like the game was, in a way, successful for me no matter how it went from there. Making the merge was my biggest goal all season, and explaining the joy I felt upon realising I'd made it is something I can't do. I overcame something that had bothered me for two years, and that was by far the greatest moment for me this season.

5. Do you feel proud about your second chance?

Yes. I feel incredibly proud of my second season. Unlike Sim, Austin and Rhi, who were screwed by swaps, or Hannah and Brian, who lost Jury votes, or Nick who was voted out after doing everything he could to survive, my Canada game was ruined by myself. I was in a spot where I was set to make the merge. If I had stood back and done nothing, Ryan would've been voted out, and I would've stayed. But I had to tell Ryan that I was voting for him, which made him realise everyone else would too, and so my alliance realised I'd leaked the plan to Ryan, and blindsided me. I was screwed over by my own actions, and although it was a bad move voting me out for the Okaks (or rather, not voting out Ryan), I made them distrust me so much that they voted me out despite that. This game, I feel like I was able to overcome that, and change - for the better. Brian and Hannah both knew I was voting them out, but they didn't blame me for it, since it was because I couldn't really do anything about it anyway. I overcame being screwed by a swap, and was targetted a lot in the merge, but not only kept on surviving, but also controlled a couple of votes, and had the game go down almost exactly as I wanted it to. If I lose this FTC, I'll know it was because of others being better, and not because I was bad - and that's something I can feel proud of. Nick, Sim and I all played great games, and I think all of us should be proud of how we've played, and evolved from our original seasons. I've waited for this the longest, and I think I changed my game the most by going from eliminating myself to not only surviving but also eliminating others, and that's why I'm proud of my second chance.