Every Last Bit of Heart/Confessionals

Day 36
"bhaltos"

- Of course Domonique has some other item to save herself like jesus christ she just won't leave the game! Once i get voted out i'm voting for Dom 100% because if Sarah and Nuno can't see how powerful she is, they're not playing for first.

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- TFW you forgot Domonique had an item to negate a vote and should've voted Szymon to begin with []

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- I'm dreading this challenge so much because a lot rides on it. If Evan wins immunity I'd have mixed feeling because on the one hand yay good for him, but on the other hand I'd probably be sent home. I want to ensure I stay in by winning something for once. ughhh

Day 37
"bhaltos"

- So Sarah messages me saying she's good to make a move against either Dom or Nuno and I'm like YES OK! I'm very happy she hasn't given up after all, I apologize for my angry confessional earlier because if she follows through with her word then there might still be a shot!

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- ok so I'm back and I'm over my little moment. My goal is to make it past this tribal and that means I have to keep Nuno and Sarah as close to me as possible at this point. I have to bring up the fact that with me they have majority and they don't have to worry about me flipping to make a tie at F4 which is what's gonna happen if both Evan and Tyler stay. It's time to channel my brother & put this social game to work

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- Final 5 immunity win..... second in a row...... locked spot in the final 4...... [] I'm damn proud.

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- EVAN WON IMMUNITY which now that Sarah AND NUNO both agree Dom should go makes me very happy! He and I have decided our alliance name is Team Chile (it's a bit late in the game to name it but whatever pretend we came up with it early on). ok it's only been like 10 seconds since i was happy but now idk i'm feeling like they could all easily blindside me rn so I gotta keep my head up this round

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- Trying to save yourself is hard work but to update you guys, Sarah & Nuno are leaning toward voting me out and the reason they haven't voted yet is because they are debating. Tyler got in their heads but not enough to make them flip completely which means I still have a chance. I'm pleading my case to Nuno and Sarah now. Nuno is willing to vote with me which means I just need to get Sarah back over here and Tyler will be gone. It's hard because literally everyone left sees me as this huge threat and me staying is honestly such an uphill battle at this point. I hope I can pull this tribal

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- I have to vote Dom out, but just for the record I've accepted my fate as a horrible person. Fuck.

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- my stomach hurts and it's not because of the baby it's because I'm going home

Day 38
"bhaltos"

- What a journey? I feel terrible for voting Dom out, but it had to be done honestly. As much as I wanted to keep her on a personal level, on a game level, it couldn't be done. But, well, F4! Even though the jury probably hates me, I still think I played a decent game. Right now, I feel like if I win the FIC, and I deliver a good speech, I can do it. If not, I still am happy with how far I got. It's really hard to get this far after you have been on the minority most of the season, lol. For now, I have the ROP, which I'll just be honest. I feel like people instantly relate being nice to, ya know, kissing ass, but it isn't like that all of the time. If I say I like people, I like people. If I don't, I'm not gonna trash them either though. It's about paying respects to people, not like, dragging them for filth and all. It's a fun time to be in game, then.

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- (from earlier but then ROP happened): Survivor Skye Islands - Confessional October 11th

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- I haven't really got to make a game confessional in a while, I've been sick, yeah fuckin' aye. So flashback to when Szymon left I thought I was done. Cooked. DEAD IN THE WATER. Then magically, Sarah approaches me. Our first message and communication w/ each other in 36 days of gameplay, awh how cute :~) I knew this game talk would be vital. I had to be very careful with what I said. After some normal life talk (yeah I think that's how it works), I let Sarah know "hey, if there's anything you need in the game let me know. in case you want to know why this is our first time speaking i was loyal to my day 1 groups, and that went to shit". Welp, what does she ask? SHE WANTS TO WORK W/ ME. She was willing to vote Domonique, and she even said she was as so far willing to vote Nuno. Obviously, would I want her to vote Nuno? Yeah. But the fact of the matter is if I give her something on my end as well, like potentially voting Tyler, she would want to work with me. This is why I love NOT talking to people. I can always bullshit a reason why and get them to buy into what I say, though what I mean to Sarah is true. As of now we have a finals deal. The plan is one of us win immunity, we get Nuno and Tyler voting oppositely, and we choose which of the two to go. It's fantastic and I can't believe I was able to solidify this random endgame deal out of my ass on my last legs of this game. This, in conjunction with my Team Chile alliance with Tyler, means hopefully I can get Nuno out this round. If Nuno wins it, I can try to backstab Tyler. I need this last immunity. I need it. As much as I want to trust Sarah, the most simplistic way to get to the end, and for me to win this whole fucking thing, is just to WIN THIS LAST CHALLENGE. And you better damn well believe I'm gonna give this every last bit of heart, soul, energy, or whatever random non-tangible entity you want to call it into winning this last immunity. I'm spent. I'm so spent. I've been giving it my all, going to fucking war in this org, and I've also been doing the same in another all stars big brother org on youtube for the past couple months. I've had to deal with a personal loss, and I was able to get this semester off to get my mind off things. I love Survivor, I love Big Brother, and when all of this is said and done, I would have exhausted all my energy I could have in playing these things. Once these are over I'm definitely taking a few months off. It's been insane. Like today I woke up feeling weird and sick as hell, but idek what I'm down with. I'm doing shit like staying up to 5 AM playing Sushi Cat 2. This isn't.. SUSTAINABLE. But I'm at the end here. If I'm able to pull through this I want people to remember me as someone who really just left it all out on the line and loved this game for what it was worth. I remember at the start of this I want people to forget the person I was in Cape Verde. And I think with a win here, I can at least remove some of that perception. Let's go though. I'm ready for anything, this isn't over yet. 10 second click? With a touch screen, a touchpad, AND a wireless mouse at my disposal? All this in conjunction with my extremely quick ASIAN reflexes and my bro to help me click all these apparatuses? Oh... it's fuckin' LIT :~)

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- Okay, so the confessional part of the challenge was a CRAPSHOOT. Only a few ones stuck out to me as obvious. 2 is probably Boo. I know he loves saying stuff like 'YAS GAWDT' and 'ICONIC' and all that. 3 is an Italy reference - might as well be Liam, the beauties lost early on. 4 is raw shit talk at it's finest - gotta be Alex. 6 is Lukas, he played games with us on finding the idol when his time was up. 9 is Szy, the dude's a HUGE Vanessa fan. 16 I think is Kaeden, sounds like a troll quote for a troll player. 17 I'd like to believe is Tom, he had a really rough go at it and complained to me how he was always loyal in IDS and how it didn't work. I also doubled up on some people and left others out. It's like when you know two answers are between two question on a test and you just bubble in the same answer for both. Basically you go for the guaranteed 1 for 2 instead of risking an 0 for 2. I LIKE ODDS. Trivia was pretty easy. EXCEPT FUCK YOU, NON-EXISTENT SUSIE. I was able to find her actual facebook, and while the age isn't there, I found that she went to some boarding school that went up to the 12th grade. That hasn't changed on her bio and Wales was like a year ago. Maybe she's 17. Fuck it. ...I've just finished my final 703 challenge. I left it all on the line. PS I SHOULD'VE BEEN ON AZERBAIJAN BUT THEN AGAIN NOT REALLY CAUSE I NEED A BREAK FROM ALL OF THIS. What a ride.

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- Mkayyy, welp I choked. I have two options to vote. Tyler or Sarah. So right now I need to let Tyler know that if we vote Sarah, we can obviously beat her in a tiebreaker due to her weak standing in challenges. However, I have my side deal with Tyler. Do I risk jumping ship and voting out Tyler just to get it over with? I don't know. If Nuno and Sarah vote me, I risk being 2-1-1'ed and looking like an idiot. As long as I vote Sarah, then if they vote out Tyler like they promised idc because votes aren't on me. So I'm most likely voting Sarah this round, there's no doubt about it. I just need to put up a facade to make sure votes aren't on me. I can't leave yet. Sarah, if I go to that tiebreaker with you, you are gonna be in for a ride, I'll tell you that much.

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- I'm really just so done now. I attached a fucking photo of my flag to an image of the real show in place of the actual flag, I get a FOUR on realism. A FOUR. And apparently my flag's really just a notch above Tyler's? Nuno's flag blew mine out? IS ORANGE FROM ROME JUDGING AGAIN? I feel so agitated, depressed, and I'm really not in the mood for things right now but honestly that is the POINT OF THIS GAME. It's gonna test you. I am so close to the end and I get there I thoroughly believe I will win this. This is the end folks.

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- So anyways I'm not gonna speak to Sarah until she speaks to me, and I'm feeding her bullshit. I'm not gonna let them get ammunition on me, I have ammunition on them. I want a tiebreaker this round. Fuck the 3-1 easy vote. Sarah, you're gonna have to step up to the plate for this tiebreaker. But I do have ammunition to tell Tyler. I'm just gonna tell him ahead of time that Sarah was gonna try to get me to vote him this round bc she said that 'Tyler and Nuno have beef w/ each other' and that'll make me secure his vote for sure. I need Tyler's vote more than anything in this game, and I think that'll lock it up. Then there'll be the tiebreaker. I hope Nuno and Sarah are smart and vote Tyler seeing as how he's performed worse than me physically. They'd want the easier beat in the tiebreaker. But I am fully anticipating going into that tiebreaker round.

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- Me when I end up getting 4th :~)

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- Tylerseenreceipt.jpg the seen receipt that is tearing me apart (I told Evan I voted him out)