Big Brother 10/Week 10

"yaknad"

- Well I'm boo boo the fool for using my veto & basically wasting Bryce's HoH but I knew szymon was gonna get voted out against Sam and after the circumstances of the whole night I just couldn't sign his death sentence. He couldn't go out like that, after just thinking Bryce and I had betrayed him and stabbed him in the back. He deserves better & there was no time for me to explain to Szy what happened and why. I honestly feel like a horrible person and I just shouldn't have said everything to Bryce, I should have kept my mouth shut but I was trying to explain to Bryce truthfully about why I was voting him out.

Oh yeah.. I guess I should mention why I changed my mind..

I had been working up the courage all day to figure out how to tell Bryce I thought voting him out would be better for my game but then well.. as I was just telling him everything basically about my train of thought with this vote and why I thought it was necessary, I told him one of the reasons was that I felt if he stayed he was gonna make f3 and win the final HoH comp and that I was scared that he was closer to szymon than me and would take him to final 2 over me. But then he started saying he actually felt betrayed and hurt by Szy because Szy had given him false hope all day about him staying and being safe.. which was news to me but then it made us start questioning if we were being played. So then Bryce said if I keep him, he is gonna help me go after Sam and he is also gonna go after Szy and take me to final 2 with him. When I analyzed the scenarios if I stuck by Sam's f4 deal of me him abi and Szy, I saw Szy getting a free ride right to the crown. I knew that if anybody wants to win, they can't sit beside him in the finale. If I sat next to Sam would I also have a shot? Mmm, who knows. Ideally I had thought about my ideal f4 being me and szy with abi and Maya but again, who takes szymon out? Nobody. So I thought maybe I keep Bryce, Bryce goes after Sam, Sam goes after Bryce. I slip by, either take myself to the finals or Bryce takes me or Szy takes me if that's the f3. If yoni is there, she I think could take me instead of Szy as well if that's the f3 instead. Except everything blew up and now Szymon was crying, I was crying, Bryce was upset, Sam was upset, Abi hates me, I fucked up my relationship with Maya, and Yoni is a snake, but we already knew that. So now, Sam is still here and if he wins HoH I'm going up with Bryce and if Bryce wins veto I'm prob going home. But maybe that's better since I fucked up my chances of winning by not letting Szymon get voted out tonight anyway. And that's what you missed on Glee.

"yaknad"

- Where do I even begin? LMAO

A lot went down in the double eviction, so I just want to recap my take on the events.

F7: Bryce and Maya were on the block. The decision seemed obvious to me; vote out Bryce and have Szymon/Natalia go after Sam/Abi. Things got a little more complicated when Bryce spilled that he was planning on going against Szymon in the double eviction and that Szymon/Sam had a F2. I initially wanted Bryce gone, but learning what I did, I realized it would be a lot more advantageous for me to play the middle and cause Bryce to target Sam/Szymon (two comp beasts with solid social games).

I voted to evict Maya, then we had the double eviction. Bryce won HOH, nominated Sam/Szymon, Natalia won POV. This is where the night got interesting for me. I was originally going to save Sam had I won Veto, but I didn’t, so I then opted for the plan to keep the noms the same and make Natalia think that I was going to get rid of Sam when in actuality, it would’ve been Szymon. I feel like I need Sam in the game for a little while longer so that he can win the competitions and cut the important people I won’t be able to due to my comp inability but he’ll also get the blood/bitterness on his hands so I should come away scotch free.

Nat uses Veto on Szymon, and I’m already thinking she’s trying to game her win. She basically tried to score one over on Szymon and get him to believe that he was good with her, which was smart gameplay. Except... she didn’t necessarily get Szymon on her side, because what she failed to realize was that Szymon was keeping Sam over anybody and so was I, so she essentially screwed over Abi without realizing it.

I don’t feel bad about the way things went down. I knew I needed to keep Sam/Szymon as a looming duo along with Bryce/Natalia (who I’ve come to find out is also a duo). My goal is to play the middle, hope the pair not in power is broken up this week, and I can group up with them going into F4 to hopefully go against the current pair in power.

"yaknad"

- OMG SO I THINK THIS IS RIGHT WEEK NUMBER BUT SO. ok so sam noms me i get depressed and see hes ahead in veto and say.. well its my time its ok and like maybe yoni keeps me and i dont need pov thatd be cute. but then so like szy keeps me BUT natalia tells me shes voting me and yoni is too bc natalia thinks im a big threat (im not) so i say um call me beep me and we call for 2 hours where i get her to spill her whole game to me and like she told me about a f4 with her abi sam and szy and how the plan was for me to go home then yoni/maya and when f4 sam said hed cut abi then szy. and how she was gonna try to nom abi and sam anyway at f5 and go back on her word.so i was like girl whats the point of making him happy now if ur gonna betray him next round anyway. so then like shes talking about how she still going to end with szy and im SCREAMING like szy played BEST GAME and i didnt care bc i thought we were cute trio and i was cool going to end with them even if i lost but she legit thought i was a bigger threat than szy like HUH. so i plead and plead and tell her wow szy didnt tell me about that f4 im being played huh ( i truly felt this) and so i say well sam and szy clearly f2 or sth and are out to get me like i been played. im a clown. ive been bamboozled. i was SO HURT cuz i rly trust szy and felt he pulled one over on me from the beginning of the game. and so i was like i will nom them i will get them out they will both go up and one will leave! and convinced natalia i told her id use veto on her even against her on the block ( im so quirky..) and so we got to yoni and swayed her vote since she was against szy. i WON double hoh and so that was so iconic. i nommed sam and szy like i said i feel like i made amistake tho cuz i didnt get to confront szy until like after teh double bc we had no time and i was so full of rage and anger about possibility being played. natalia wins pov and decides to save szy cuz shes scared that szy will go and she wants sam out i said sure bc like no other option BUT yoni decides to be a wmw(hooha) and keep sam so. that was a nightmare abi gone a goat gone like UGH. and now go into f5 with the worst options ppl hating me. BUT then i call szy and we patch things up at least personally idk about game tho but i hope so. um and then natalia won hoh so thats great she jsut nommed szy and sam so i hope things move forward and sam goes. but natalia seems to be hinting at szy leaving which.. why KJFASDHKJ sam so good at comps no MAAM i do what i do i guess tho idk

"yaknad"

- Yesterday was a really hard day for me because I had to tell Szy I would probably be nominating him and give him all my game reasons why.. it really hurt ofc for both of us.. I haven't been able to stop sporadically crying for the past like 3 days, ever since the DE night, because it will kill me if I lose Szymon as a friend over a game. But when i think about how badly I want to win not only my first ORG, but also BIG BROTHER, a show that i've watched ever since I was a little girl and could only dream about playing one day, I had to push myself to do what I think is going to give me the best chance. Therefore, I still felt by the end of the night that I had to go through with my nominations. I also thought a lot about final 2 and 3 scenarios.. I came to the conclusion I'd actually want Sam and Yoni with me at final 3. I know Sam is a big competitor and can win the final HOH, but I also know i'm gonna have huge determination for whatever the endurance comp is and the mental comp so, i'm ready. My target for this week is Szymon. I am hoping I win the veto this week to make sure noms stay the same. If i had to guess I'd say Bryce votes Sam and Yoni votes Szy (hopefully) and i'll break the tie to send Szy home. Then next week ideally obviously Bryce would go. I have a deal with Bryce though that he takes me to final 2. Last night I also made a deal with Sam that he would take me to final 2. Yoni and I have our final 2 Double D's alliance since pretty early in the game, hopefully if she won she would honour that, but if not, fair game. The thing is, especially knowing the way i've played in this later part of the game, I don't expect anyone to honour any deals. I know that if i want something done I have to do it myself. If I want to guarantee my spot in the finale, I have to comp my way there. I've done what I can to set myself up to be taken to final 2 but I don't rely on deals with people because I know those don't really mean anything in Big Brother. However, if those deals actually come through for me in the case I can't win my way to the end, then great! I've given EVERYTHING I have to this game the past almost 2 months. I am in the home stretch now and i'm going to continue giving everything I have but if it's not enough, I can live knowing I did my best.

"yaknad"

- The amount of times I've changed my mind about shit these past couple weeks........ Enough to give anyone a headache lmao. Tell me why seconds after I tell Bryce szymon was my target for this week, Szymon pops out of nowhere with, "so I'm your target for this week?" And bryce was probably thinking he's so smart cuz if me and szy are not talking then I wouldn't find out and that he'd get Szy out but Szy would be good with him bc he'd make it seem like it was all my fault lol. Cue literally what I just said in my previous confessional about not taking anyone's word at face value. Szymon's "so I'm your target this week?" message confirmed to me exactly what I needed to know. That Bryce can't be trusted for shit and that szymon still respected me enough as a friend/player to come to me first and confirm whatever he's heard with me. To add, Yoni wants szymon out and she's trying to make it seem like she's doing this for ME LOL no hun you are doing it for you! The fact she said to me she's not "throwing Bryce under the bus" tells me everything I needed to know lol. Oh you don't want Bryce gone? That's exactly what I'm gonna try to do then. Over this game, I'm a celebrity get me out of here!! Jk lmao I'm a nobody but the opportunity was right there. Shoutout to Rhi, icon, hope you're enjoying your vacation ❤️ this I'm a celeb name drop was just for you, queen.

"yaknad"

- im gone. so sad. glad hes gone by tove lo is a bop tho. bad as the boys was written about natalia. jk love her kind of even tho i dont think she wins but maybe she will anyways stan szy >>>>> natalia > thats it.