Shea Needs MEDICATION/Confessionals

Day 25
"yaknad"

- Honestly I'm really proud of us Catarina being able to control the last two votes despite being and voting in the minority, well we were *kinda* in the minority this round, Chris & Claudia were providing us info and we have an alliance called Tacatarina, so we were kinda with them, buut we went and got Elmo behind their back. Honestly as much as I love and trust my alliance of Catarina, playing just by tribal lines is straight up boring not gonna lie, I was talking about that with Nick, Claudia and Jenna and they all agreed, Nick pretty much feels the same way I do, I feel closest to Nick, I also really like & feel close to Sim, and I like Nathaniel too, but Nathaniel is a huge threat, and he's come straight out of the gate winning these immunities so he's obviously not trying to hide it. Ideally, I'm hoping I could get an alliance going of Say maybe Me/Nick/Sim/Jenna/Claudia, but the girls probably wouldn't wanna do that bc that puts 3 Catarina with 2 of them, I honestly don't know where to go from here, all I know is im sick of these tribal lines deciding everything, the only reason we have to is because of this stupid anti returnee idea that Renz has came up with and I'm pretty sure has instilled in some of the other quetzals minds. I feel like even though I don't trust most quetzals, I can trust Jenna, she's great and I've always loved her as a person so I really hope she's being genuine with me, because if she is I feel like us working together would be pretty great!! But as for now, I wanna try to win this next immunity just to ensure that nothing tricky goes on.

"yaknad"

- Well, first I'm going to say I'm EXTREMELY GRATEFUL to still be here! :) 3 correct idol plays in a row is extremely impressive, and I'm quite fortunate to have avoided the wrath of all of them. So it's day 25, I haven't voted the correct person in 3 tribal councils, and all of these people that I voted for are still in the game. I really have to improve multiple aspects of my game right now if I want any shot of getting near the end of this game. My social game, although good enough to have kept me in this long, needs to be better if I'm going to continue to slither by. And my physical game needs to improve as well, I know that I can do better in these immunity challenges, and this particular round is one that desperately want immunity for. I also need to find one of these damn idols for pete's sake.

This survivor auction is extremely important to me right now. I need something to help me out in this game, I'm desperate for one of these idols that are popping up everywhere. I haven't felt safe one moment in 25 days and in the current situation that we are in, immunity is so important right now. The divisions are very clear. (Claudia, Chris, myself, Jenna, and Renz) vs (Nathaniel, Austin, Sim, Nick, and Shea). There is a very high likelihood of another rock draw, which would be insane considering how dynamic this season is. I've gotta make sure that I do something to keep myself safe, whether it's win immunity, find an idol, get a secret advantage, or anything.

"yaknad"

- So I've been having some serious game conversations lately with Nick/Sim/Jenna/Claudia about us getting together and making an alliance because I've seriously been SO bored with just sticking by tribal lines, but quetzal being dumb has made us do that unfortunately, and I trust all of the Catarina guys majorly, the only reason I'm not trying to get Nathaniel into this new alliance is because myself and lots of others think he is a huuuge target and needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later, but for now he's very useful in helping us progress. Jenna could very well be completely full of shit and lying to my face about wanting to work with and not trusting Brandon or Renz but I just hope she's not, Jenna is a sweet girl but I'm definitely keeping my eye close on her because I want to give her this chance, but I am not 100% sure at all that she isn't going to attempt to turn the tables on me, so it's a big leap of trust and I'm putting some faith in her, but I'm hoping this could put me and the people I trust on a path deeper into the game.

"yaknad"

- I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW.

One of these days, Nathaniel is going to regret making such big moves and winning challenges. He's no Jesus. He's Nathaniel!

Also, we should have known that fucking Shea was the mole in the group when he was so eager to work with Nathaniel and Sim, but I guess we were too blinded by numbers.

Moles are cancerous, and should be removed immediately. Like damn, I fucking can't with this game right now. It's epic yeah, but it would be great if we're actually the ones making it epic like fuck I hate this.

I had the chance to talk with Nick before the deadline of the votes, and I think I somehow made him feel like I had the idol, so they changed their votes to Elmo. I hope that wasn't really the case because that would mean I'm the reason why Elmo was voted out.

TO be honest though, my heart jumped out of my chest when I saw my name, I knew I would receive votes, but I wasn't ready to go home.

Day 26
"yaknad"

- Being in solitary confinement definitely sucks, but I managed to think ahead of time so that my voting blocs would still have the ability to send me signals on Tribal Council. My answer and my vote would be both delayed, but this is one vote we can’t screw up.

With that, however, I think they’re starting to see how serious of a player I am, and I know that they’re not going to want to take me to the end if I show them my wits.

On the other side of the coin, fortunately, I got the challenge disadvantage and wrapped it up in a box for Nathaniel. The guy has to lose, and it’s not like we’re going to vote him out, I just want them to think that we’re actually going to vote him out so if they have another idol, we could use it on him.

As for the double vote, we’re in luck because Chris got it, so he has to use it wisely because he’s on the chopping block right now after getting that Dark Pearl. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like THIS FAME IS DESIGNED TO SCREW ME UP AND MY NUMBERS.

Day 27
"yaknad"

- The immunity challenge was won by Austin because he had an advantage, and Nathaniel decided to rub some salt in the wound by saying some shit on the tribe chat about how I messed up. As much as I want to get rid of him, I think it’s too obvious, but at the same time, I think they also think that it’s an easy giveaway that I gave him the disadvantage and we're voting for him.

I just found out that I am their target right now, but I’m going to convince Austin and Nick to vote for Nathaniel. Nathaniel is not actually our target, but this could sorta help us make sure that they won’t find out that Sim is our target.

I have a feeling that they think that I have the idol so that’s a good thing for me I guess, because it would always be a gamble for them whenever they decide who they’re going to vote for.

"yaknad"

- Shea is fucking weird and crazy. SHEA NEEDS MEDICATION STRAIGHT THE FUCK UP

"yaknad"

- So the auction was a total scam, after hours in the Guatemalan jungle I am FURIOUS. I totally put myself out there, and now people assume I've had the idol but I've openly shared about how I literally got the most useless clue from day 1.

However I was not going to let it slip away like that, I needed that idol later on, if not now, so after a few hours I actually got lucky and found it. I immediately shared it with Nick but alas it was already found.

Wow. I am SMH. After I finish rolling my eyes, I assume Nathaniel has found it, and so I tell the Catarinas that it has been found, and what do you know, I was right.

Nathaniel is such a threat, he realizes it, but I assume he thinks he can keep this up forever? Anyways, Austin and Nick felt the same way. So let the plotting begin!

Now I'm talking to Jenna, Chris, Claudia, people that I've had limited relations with because I'm thinking ahead. We had to play for the short term to make sure Catarina wasn't just picked off, but it's getting to that point where you can't keep lying to someone and except them to work with you.

Chris seemed super on board for all my plans, not only did he want to take out a Quetzal this round, he also wants to blindside Nathaniel later on, which helps, but he felt a bit eager to me..

Something was off, voting off a Quetzal right now doesn't exactly benefit him? I'm not sure, but I've put all my eggs in the Tacana basket right now.

"yaknad"

- So the Chris/Claudia thing is legit, it has wheels, and a lot of wheels. It's an 18-Wheeler Truck. Chris suggests splitting the votes. Woah, red flag, is he just trying to divide and conquer?

Chris says he will use his double vote, and we can put 4 votes on Brandon and Renz in case of some secret advantage popping up. This plan includes Shea.

Big mistake, Shea is against it. He wants to go Jenna, it's unpredictable like Elmo's blindside was, because nobody will want to play an idol on Jenna. However, no. I just started working with Jenna, I need Jenna later down the road. It cannot be Jenna. This leads to Shea abandoning the plan. Now he's voting Chris. LMAO?

Well as karma would have it, the Quetzals have decided to vote out Shea, good for them! If Shea's stray votes for Chris (and I say votes as in plural because of the dark pearl), then he will be paying the price, seems fair.

However one factor, the idol. Nathaniel has the idol, he would've never told us if we didn't admit to finding it gone already, which is when I realized. Nathaniel only brings up the idol when it's convenient for him, when he has a plan that he can execute, and he flashes his idol to convince us. And then Nathaniel suddenly backed up the plan to use the idol to blindside Chris, because that's how paranoid he is. I don't blame him, because essentially shit is going on behind his back, but that idea was shut down real quick by me Nick and Austin.

Now let's talk about this ""later on"" I keep referencing. Basically, it revolves around blindsiding Nathaniel. He can't get too deep into the game, and singles is pretty deep. This would be some sort of agreement between Tacana, Catarina (Without Nat obviously), and Jenna. That's right Jenna. I realize I've talked a lot of shit about Jenna, but she's actually really sweet, and really trustworthy depending on the situation.

So that's where I'm at. I'm paranoid this round because Nick has the light pearl, Nathaniel has the idol, and Austin has immunity, so I'm the most vulnerable Catarina, but if I make it through this round, you can expect big things from me :)

"yaknad"

- There's a part of me that wants to believe Austin because we had this conversation that I was planning to use as a lure so that they would use the idol on Nathaniel (which he apparently has in his pocket) but then it turned serious because he was actually considering it.

"yaknad"

- The Auction was a fucking nightmare. We have Chris, who I don't trust at all, winning a double vote. I didn't get anything so that just monumentally increases my stress. Chris then goes and creates an alliance with Catarina, Myself and Claudia which I don't buy considering he campaigned so hard for me to go last round. I don't forgive and I don't forget in the game of Survivor.

The plan right now is to campaign intensely against Renz, and then have the 5 vote Jenna, being myself and Catarina. That flushes the possibility for an idol and it sends home someone on the opposition. If this isn't done flawlessly and we don't all stay tight-lipped and loyal to the plan, I will likely be gone.

There are so many ways this could go wrong. If Chris uses the double vote and is lying about working with us, It's probably me going. If Claudia and Chris don't buy the Renz campaign and tip Quetzal off, They may play the hypothetical idol on Jenna. Relying so heavily on a group of people you barely know is stressful.

We've all been playing this game for 27 days. It's been intense as hell and it's draining. It's comforting in a way to know that tonight the struggle will probably be over. I'm either going, or being put into a majority. Both will relieve some stress.

"yaknad"

- Thank God I won immunity and the auction wasn't a waste lmao, this tribal is gonna be messy probably so I'm glad my name can't be one of the ones being thrown around. But for this vote a lot could go down, Brandon could possibly have the secret advantage, or even Shea or Nathaniel depending on who's lying, they all deny they have it but one of them has to. Renz came to me saying this is the time to take out a huge threat (Nathaniel) and while I agree Nathaniel is a big threat, and I did even consider going with Renz for this vote, I just really really don't trust Renz or Brandon enough to leave both of them in this game after this tribal, but I really would like to get Nathaniel next. Our ideal vote would be splitting the votes 4-4 on Brandon and Renz in case of an idol, and the 7 of us would be Shea + Catarina & Tacana, and Chris with his double vote, this is what I'm trying to push, but shea has to insist that Jenna is the much smarter one to go for because he's certain that somehow Brandon and Renz both have idols, now I see what Chris is talking about being strategically useless, Shea is as stubborn as a damn mule, it's so aggravating and it's making this tribal 10x more stressful as the deadline is fast approaching. But after this tribal, I am definitely going to attempt to take shots at Nathaniel, he is a challenge beast, he has the idol AGAIN, and he could even have this advantage, he's just a really scary player and he's nice to be aligned with, but I'm not handing him this win, I've not come this far just to let Nathaniel have it.

"yaknad"

- Every tribal is a do or die situation for me. My name is always out there and I'm always the target, It's frustrating right now.

Working with people that are so complacent and don't truly think is angering. You have Austin, Nick and Sim who you'd think would have learned from Rhiannon being idoled out, but haven't. They want to split the votes with help from the two people who voted against me last tribal? AND to top it off they want to split on the two people expecting to get votes? Brilliant.

Rocks isn't an issue now, The issue is I'm going to be out of this game because of their stupidity. It's such a helpless situation right now because Me and Nathaniel have a chance to the one going because of this bad split vote plan.

I might lay down and vote with Renz if he is voting Chris. Whatever to save myself right now is what I have to do, I just won't vote Nathaniel.

"yaknad"

- This round has honestly been insane. I haven't made a confessional in a while so I'm going to ramble on for a while. For starters, last tribal was super successful with Elmo going. I really loved Elmo, but honestly I saw him as the winner of the game so I'm very glad he left. The auction was also successful, I really wanted the light pearl and I ended up getting it. I think the light pearl makes people want to vote me less, since they'll be one vote that won't count. Renz even told me straight up that no one was voting me this round because of it so I'm sure that'll help me out for the long run since the numbers are gonna be dwindling from here on out. So now tribal is a bit of a mess because of all the items that were won from the auction. Chris got Ellis which struck fear into all of us because we're unsure if he knows what Ellis is exactly or not. So we decided to split the votes between Renz and Brandon. I'm really expecting a Quetzal to play an idol tonight and I don't know who has it, but I'm sure it'll come out. I want both Renz and Brandon out so whichever leaves is honestly fine with me. They're both huge threats at this point so whatever happens, happens.

As for future rounds this is what I'm thinking. I want to take Sim and Jenna to the end with me. I feel like if I were up against the both of them, I'd have the best shot at winning. My loyalty is 100% with Sim at this point. I do still trust Catarina a lot, but Sim has become my #1. Austin and Nathaniel are both amazing allies, but they're both threats. I'm thinking that taking Nathaniel out next round might be best to do next round if he doesn't win immunity. He's becoming too wild with all these idol plays and immunity wins so he's got to go at some point. Austin is also a really good ally, I just don't think I could beat him at the end which is what will make me vote him out eventually. Chris is also scary as hell so he needs to go asap as well. God I need so many people out, but I need to do this all one step at a time. Despite all this, I really do think I have a good shot at getting to the end and possibly winning so I'm excited for the end game of this season.