I'm Trying to Save My Ass/Confessionals

Day 11
"makalu"

- "Joey we didnt tell you we were voting Trey because we didn't know how close you were with him! I trust youuuuu" my ASSSS. They think I'm stupid or something? I'm well aware that I'm on the bottom now, if you really trusted me you would have known I would vote with you no matter what. This vote gave Seamus a masssive ego, but he's just gotta remember who was the one who brought up the vote for him and got the entire tribe on my side at first. <- this guy. So now the question is, what's best for my game? Do I play two sides and hop on over with Vince + Karsten, or do I stick with the majority alliance and be on the bottom and have a chance to work my way up?

"makalu"

- Aw geez. That was too close to call, I probably should have let seamus go 7-1 but i think this was my only opportunity to take out trey in this game. Vincent is the perfect ally to take to the end and i guarantee you trey thought the same. Couldn't have him stealing my boy. This shit gave me a headache.

"makalu"

- Thistle last vote has really helped me to understand the nuances of the social aspect of the game. I knew that my social game wasn't that good, but I had no idea where I was lacking. I have a tendency to try and keep my options open with as many people as possible, which is good for when the tribe is pretty united. However, when we have divisive votes such as what we just saw, someone's getting burned by me.

I found out that when Seamus was informed of our plan to vote him out (by Jp, as I had suspected), the only reason that he DMed me about it and not Damien or Trey was because he had thought that we (me and him) were close allies. I didn't think I was talking to him that much... actually if I had to rank everyone on the tribe by how strategically involved I was with them he would have been last (as of yesterday). That really made me realize that I probably talk too much to others and potentially could be giving people false hope. I'm pretty sure I've never had an issue with that, but I think that I've had issues with ignoring those who weren't my allies. This whole thing contributes to my running storyline throughout the season: Do I have a good social game? I'm usually heavily leaning toward No, but then things like this happen and I wonder how close I actually am to having a good social game.

Jp and Damien both made the same strategic move, which was to betray my alliance (but not me!) because they were worried about how much power Trey had. They both attempted damage control with Karsten and I. I liked Jp more than Damien and would have said that he had the better social game of the two. But I want to work with Damien and couldn't care less about keeping Jp around. That tells me I have no idea what a good social game is, so maybe I actually do have a good social game but don't recognize it.

I really feel like this is my best game yet. I ended up in the minority this one time, but I wasn't ever a target of anyone who voted for Trey. I can definitely work my way back to the top of the tribe, but I'm worried about how to go about that. I have an easy path to secure numbers, which is going with Karsten and Joey and getting Damien back on my side. The problem is that I don't want to get too cocky. That was definitely my main issue in Kariba, and while it was effective at combating paranoia it really rubbed everyone the wrong way. I feel like I can trust my paranoia, since I was able to figure out that my alliance had some pretty large cracks in it even though no one was keeping me informed about those things. I just can't seem to comprehend the concept of being stuck in a minority, as ridiculous as it sounds. I can end up in a minority but I always seem to find a way to get out of it (keep in mind I've barely played any games so far). I can't figure out how I'm supposed to improve my attitude in these situations. Fortunately it hasn't been an issue yet, but it's going to be soon and I really need to be prepared.

"yangra"

- There is so much speculation over this reward challenge being the beginning of some sort of tribal swap so I'm very nervous if I end up getting split from my closest allies on the Yangra tribe. I really don't wanna be on the wrong side of the numbers as only fifteen of us are left, and the merge isn't far to go now. I really need to make sure that if this reward challenge is some kind of gateway to a swap that I remain where the numbers are in my favour, especially if I'm against an alliance on the other side.

"yangra"

- So, I'm actually pretty disappointed Trey left on the other tribe- he was one of the people I felt that I could work with, along with JP. But alas, the votes were between those two so I was screwed either way.

Now this challenge, Pory thinks it's for a swap and wants us to throw it. Now, that seems like it would make sense- if it is a swap and we all lose, we can all stay on the same tribe. Right now, it'd be Pory, Zach, Marty, myself, and Jenna. Now this scares me. I don't know if Zach is working with Marty or not, but I do know he doesn't think Marty had the idol- which he did.

I worry Pory may be overplaying a bit here, and that worries me that he will be a target if we get swapped together, and I definitely don't want Pory to go. My best bet will be to go to Zach, say that Marty and Jenna are a duo, and if we vote Pory- it'll tie next vote, or we'll be putting one of us as a third wheel. My biggest hope, is Jenna doesn't know we're throwing and wins her portion, so she an go on to a minority.

This is all if it swaps though, which we aren't completely sure about. I guess we will find out though! <3

Day 12
"makalu"

- So we are swapped. On paper this is great and we can just lose any old challenge to vote on of the two off. But in practice this is so much harder and has a bajillion factors going into it. I just hope Karsten isnt out for blood.

"lhotse"

- I'm excited to see how we perform in this challenge cause it'll really give me a better insight into these two Makalu players. This challenge is an interesting one, especially cause of it being audio based so fingers crossed we can get a high score, I'd rather avoid tribal council than go to it.

"lhotse"

- I'm soooo glad that challenge is over! For such a simple concept, that was so demanding and it took me so long to even get one answer! I'm really hoping we can pull through and score this immunity, but I'm nervous to hear who the first boot after the expansion will be regardless, cause it'll really shape the game to come.

"yangra"

- Ok wow I haven't said anything in a loooong time. So basically what happened is that the original group of 5 on Yangra (Me Liam Lexi Tyler Drew) decide to play the reward challenge safe incase it's a swap, so tyler liam drew sat out so they'd stick together and lexi jenna marty zach and I played. And well, everything went fine. Well as it turns out this is a swap haha fuck you Jigme Jigme can go fucking die I mean like hes not even real but who knows who needs Jigme haha hahahahahahahahhahahha fuck Jigme anyways like besides taking Jigme's virginity with a pineapple I would like to at least state that I feel faiiiirly confident in my position in this tribe rn. Shit isn't gonna go by tribal lines here anymore. Simply put I think I got something really legitimate going on with Vincent. I really only get the same feeling from people like Wavey or Toon on discord, like the feeling of "yeah, we just really vibe", so I do want to work with Vincent. Tribal lines here, meh, I couldn't fucking give less of a shit. If I trust you, I trust you, if I don't, I don't. And right now? I trust Vincent and I trust Lexi. And well, also Jenna, but well, she's Jenna, you know? Can you really trust her? Point is now Im in a group of me Lexi and Vincent and we're about to run this shit. I'll go after Lexi if we somehow go down to 3 if I have to. I would. It's not definite, but hey, sometimes you have to go with your gut. And my gut says to stay with Vincent. So this vote, we're apparently avenging Trey, and getting Emily out. A clean 4-1 with Jenna as the only other vote. At first, yeah, it shocked me that Vincent wanted to get rid of Emily. But at the same time? I trust him here, and I think this is going to go well. This should be a relatively simple elimination compared to what happened last time with a fucking idol pulled out literally 10 minutes before tribal like thanks a fucking lot Jenna. Ugh. Whatever, I'm confident Vincent is with us here. Only issue is I kiiiinda lied a bit to him about the Aleks boot. I told him Marty told me to throw the hinky vote and that I was "surprised" Lexi "didn't know" about the idol. Meh, seemed to sort itself out at the end. I don't think I got too caught up in my spool of lies here. But yeah, assuming nothing stupid happens, this won't be my last confessional ;)

Day 13
"makalu"

- After having the tribe I seized control swapped away from me I was kinda worried. I still am hella paranoid but the fact that I'm one of the stronger ones at challenges here puts me at ease slightly. Everyone hates going to tribal council and me being here lessens that. All in all we better win this next challenge.

"yangra"

- idk what’s happening but it’s 3-2 original ya...whatever the tribes name is i briefly forgot so i’m safe bc we made a little original family!!!

"makalu"

- I'm a couple days late, but I couldn't have asked for a better tribe swap (swapping Vincent into my tribe would be slightly better, I guess.) we are the only tribe with a majority original Makalu, and it includes two of my original "alliance" (if you can call two blindsiders my allies.) We shouldn't have trouble if we go to tribal

"makalu"

- We won the challenge and an idol clue! I want to make sure one of the original Makalu gets the idol if it's still out there, preferably me. I'm just hoping Vincent doesn't go home from the new Yangra tribe. He has Emily and Jenna (who already got voted out once lol) in his tribe, so he has a chance.

"makalu"

- So lots has happened since my last confessional! I made the arguably very poor decision of giving my idol to Jenna but I think it made sense. I just hope she doesn’t get voted out. Also everyone kinda knows I did it because i am an idiot. But that’s besides the point. We swapped and I’m with Big Z, which makes me very happy. I also found out that JP has mad beef with the other two and that could be helpful to us. Maybe we’ll find our way into a three. Other than that, not much has happened, but I’m gonna try to post more lol hopefully I find another idol!!!

"yangra"

- Going into the swap I was a little nervous. I was with 3 people I didn't know and someone who I barely talked to on my original tribe, who probably didn't trust me. If we lost, I would have been an obvious vote.

Fortunately, Pory and I formed a strong connection, and he said that he wanted to work with me down the line. He was the other Aleks voter (aside from Jenna), and he thought he was near the bottom of his tribe. He wants to vote Emily out, and honestly I'm ok with that. I can't trust her very much, and I can't see myself going next if we lose again. If we do lose next then Jenna would be the obvious vote, but there's a decent chance that we don't lose this next challenge.

"lhotse"

- So this new tribe is really great, seeing as we won our first challenge lmao. Idk who I can trust out of them tho- ive had good conversations with Drew and Tyler, and obviously i'm "close" with Seamus but if the opportunity arises I'll get him out first chance because I just feel betrayed, but as of now I'm gonna stick with him because he's someone I can pretend to be close to and get info from.

"lhotse"

- Whew so I didn't get swap fucked which is great. The moment someone pointed out that the 3 Yangras who would sit out in the fake reward challenge would end up on a new tribe of 5 with a 3-2 majority, I made sure to throw out every reason I could so that I'd end up being one of the sit outs, and to make it even better I'm with Drew and Liam who I do think will stay loyal, and I don't have to deal with Jenna or Marty. So that's a relief. As for Seamus and Joey the only thing I have to worry about now is that neither of them have an idol, or can get one. It's gonna be a constant worry so honestly my focus rn is to just win every challenge. I'm really not the best at challenges but I'm also not tryna be idoled out. Swap is my least favorite part of playing Survivor tbh, I'm just gonna try as hard as I can to keep us in the clear of losing every challenge because my goal right now is just getting out of this tribe and merging.. For this tribal I'm HOPING in all honesty that Yangra takes out Jenna. It's unlikely but, she should have honestly gone over Shay that first tribal and we don't need an inactive, unstable wildcard in the merge. I'd much rather play with people who I can actually, PLAY with, speak to, interact with, ect. I don't even care if Vincent and Emily end up being numbers against us, they're still people who probably deserve to be here over an inactive.