Board Thread:Survivor: Sumbawa (Season 19)/@comment-27051444-20160901184942

Hey guys,its the pre-merge boot who somehow made jury and now has to give a speech and vote for the winner and stuff! I don't wiki too often so I can't make it into fancy sections like Brian and Posie and I hope you'll bear with my formatting.

LINUS HOLLOWAY

You seem like a super chill guy and I enjoyed the one or two conversations that we eventually ended up having,but you were the last person I talked to out of all 20 castaways.So I cant help but think did you actually enjoy playing the game with the jurors or were you pandering hard just to get our votes in case you made it to the end? If theres one type of player I really really hate,its one who completely detaches any emotion from the game and plays it like a soulless cyborg.And I want 100% honesty,because lets be real you're going to crush Brian and Ty regardless of how I vote.

TYLER HANTZ

So Tyler coming into this game I really wanted to work with you.I had heard only good things about you and from our initial conversations I thought you'd be a down to earth dude with a good head on his shoulders.4 tribal councils later,holy crap was I wrong.Im going to quote this fucking hilarious thing you said in your speech

"STEP 1 (Check): LAY LOW EARLY ON AND MAKE FRIENDS"

Dude,are you serious? You got caught trying to plant the idol on Josephine,the way you tried to threaten Ash and Zak became public knowledge and you had  an alliance of Me,Josephine,Ash,Zak,CJ,Andy and Jordan coming for your ass by the 4th tribal.Yeah,real nice job laying low.What you did to Ash after she was  voted out was also the most pettiest and most immature thing I've ever seen someone do to a person in a meaningless online game and you're lucky you hid behind those auction items or you would've been sent packing. Also I love how you accuse Linus of hiding behind immunities when you basically hid behind 3 idols and 50 items the entire game.SPEAKING OF HYPOCRISY

"STEP 2 (Check): Win as many team/tribe immunity's as possible = more idol clues"

"LINUS HIDING BEHIND INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITIES HE WORKED HARD TO EARN IS BAD BUT ME HIDING BEHIND TRIBAL IMMUNITIES TO WHICH I CONTRIBUTED A SMALL FRACTION OF IS GOOD"

" I didn't depend on immunity wins to get to the end"

Because you had 3 idols which you got through luck unlike individual immunity wins which has to be earned.

"As well as a solid social game"

lol

"I held more control throughout this game than Linus because I was the one that was more so calling the shots and making things happen"

so?

The fact of the matter is,Ty,you were an immature dick  to my friends throughout the whole game. You did try to strongarm Ash and Zak during Anarchy.You did send a 22 second clip of hysterical laughter to Ash after she was voted out clearly intended to mock her. You did treat Josephine like shit and had the gall to play victim and call her a cunt when she fought back.You did all of those stuff and if you think those constitute a "solid social game" then you'll have another thing coming.

BRIAN FOLEY

Its been only 5 months since I've started playing ORGs,and I think I could go a million years before I meet someone with as little self awareness as you.You're a fake douchey try hard who personally attacked people more than they ever attacked you.I just read Posie's speech again and it describes the way you played the game down to an exact tee. We saw screens of you calling her a cunt and agreeing with Ty about being her "being a disgrace to the LGBT community".We saw screens of you calling certain people "dumb pieces of shit" for no reason. So maybe you should stop asking why the Sumbawa jurors are literally Nazis and start looking at yourself and how you played this game.You were a jackass who was much more interested in being memorable than being nice to people so you shouldnt be surprised when that comes back to bite you in the ass.Congrats though,I'm sure you were pretty memorable or iconic or whatever the fuck you prefer.I'm sure all of the friendships you destroyed and enemies you created was worth it for a jury goat finish in an online Survivor game.And the video you just made pretty much highlights your sorry lack of self awareness especially since you cant seem to comprehend why I might call a speech that implied I wasn't a real fan of Survivor if I didnt vote for you "douchey".

To summarize your current predicament,

"Go back a couple of times when Jeff said to you, 'What goes around, comes around.' Its here."

The Twist 

Now if there is one thing thats bothering me,its Linus as a perfect winner.See I dont think a Mike  esque win deserves that kind of recognition.Plus I hate holding grudges in real life and on the interwebs.So if either Brian or Ty would like to apologize to all the people they've hurt in this game,they can do so here and my jury  vote may go to the person whose apology I find more satisfactory and genuine. Yes,one of you dumbfucks can actually get 2nd place instead of being a zero vote goat.Get to it.

FOR ALL 3

Compare each member of the cast to a real Survivor player

Compare each member of the cast to a fictional character

Also,Sumbawa was a wild intense ride! Thanks hosts and the mostly amazing cast! 