Operation Shark Bait/Confessionals

Day 30
"katzole"

- Well the vote ended up being unanimous. But man if the behind the scenes tells me anything, I can't trust anybody up in here!! Everyone has been telling me everything I was not aware of. Samb's advantages, who Ryan told before using his power, and I just feel like my path to the end was a lot more complicated to get to than I thought.

"katzole"

- Ryan thought I was going along with Frog's plan to get him out. Which isn't false. HOWEVER, he doesn't know that as far as I am aware. So, I wanted to do some damage control. I asked him why he didn't tell me about using his power. He did apologize and told me it was about to expire so he just wanted to get rid of it. But he told me he was bad at communication. INTERESTING!!! Because Nemo told me that Ryan told him and Samb he was using it. So I just feel like I am constantly being lied to and carried through the game. But maybe there's a way for me to make a move. But my options are limited.

"katzole"

- So I come back to find out that Samb.... gave all his advantages to Nemo so he wouldn't be voted out with them. Okay well I guess Samb is willing to sacrifice his spot for Nemo. Which means Nemo probably has this season won.

It ended up being a unan vote on Frog and that leaves me wondering if I even needed to play my advantage in the first place. Nemo kept telling me to play it lmao. Was he just trying to flush it out? I also told Pendant about all of Samb's advantages. Wtf am I doing lmao. Oh wait, I know, I'm trying to get Samb out which is frickin' impossible atm. Although... I wonder if there's enough bitterness against Samb that I could win a jury vote against him??? Probably not. He's making moves to save himself so he is playing well. I'm worried people think I'm too inactive to win. So I guess my best bet is taking Piper because she's even more inactive. Also Samb told Matty that me and Nemo are a duo... fantastic :')

"katzole"

- …well, what was that?

Okay, from the top this time. I was willing to vote with Frog and Matty for this vote. Nemo and Ryan wanted Frog out for this round. My original plan was to try and burn the Azuolas idol… but Nemo won immunity. And then of course, the target shifted to Ryan, so I gave Nemo and Ryan the head’s up. Ryan played the Safety Without Power, which turned out to be exactly what I needed to cover my tracks… but also the worst possible scenario. Frog and Matty decided to go with Piper next. I then proceeded to send a bunch of panic (and uhh, amogus) related GIFs to Pendant since GAVIN told me to use as many GIFs. That conversation did not go well, especially when Pendant started talking about Kam. Yeah, I might have actually needed Kam more than Evan in the merge, but hey - no ragrets 🤠 Matty and I went in circles for a bit until I sold him the idea that we set ourselves up for a spot against two duos, and nobody will see us as a swing since we are a secret duo. I’m beginning to think and realize that Matty believes I am his #1 ally. That’s sweet, but also really horrible should we make it to F4 because I’ll have to vote him out there. The worst part of the plan was talking to Nemo. This is why you don’t leave children unattended! We panicked! As in, counted and ran through so many different scenarios! He wanted me to burn through the Extra Vote and White Pearl (though granted, in my ideal timeline 🥴 I wanted to use the White Pearl at F7). In all honesty, my gut was telling me I probably wasn’t the secondary target since Frog would have no reason to flip on me (sorry Frog!) and if anything, I’m probably looking like a goat now. But I’m a cowboy, not a goatboy, so that doesn’t really matter. Anyways, I tell Nemo that if we did tie with the Extra Vote/White Pearl shenanigans, then I get taken out during the revote. Panic part two, or three, I guess. Nemo says to play the idol. I tell him that would be great, but it goes back into play and it could end up with someone else. Then he says we should switch idols - I end up playing the Azuolas idol. Which makes zero sense since why wouldn’t I use it to send Kam home? And I’ve told pretty much everyone I don’t know where the Azuolas idol was. The compromise, after maybe 30 minutes of spiraling out of control, was bequeathing all my advantages to Nemo in the unlikely event I got voted out. Now, that sounds silly, and it would have been so easy for Nemo to turn around and steal all my goodies. But hey, I was at peace with leaving at seven if it means messing up everybody’s game and handing off almost all the advantages left in the game to the people everybody wants out. And then we got rid of Frog unanimously 🤡 That was fun! A whole lot of panicking for nothing. But Nemo did return all of my advantages, so hopefully that strengthens my trust in him. Ideally, I want to take out Pendant and then Piper since I don’t want to lose Matty just yet. But this immunity challenge sounds like it’ll be both fun and an absolute nightmare. And on that note - I promise I won’t do the challenge hung over this time around 😵‍💫

"katzole"

- Also, wait, this is such a minor detail, but oh my goodness I am officially the last remaining member of New Ruta. YELL HEAH. Cheers to that!

"katzole"

- 3 AM rambling time. Don’t know if I make sense or not, but I just had a moment of inspiration.

I’m not winning immunity. i kept changing my answer for question 7 or 8, and to be honest, I’m not that worried since I still have the idol. Only Ryan and Nemo know about the idol though, but I guess I will tell Matty this round. I don’t know why I bequeathed my advantages to Nemo. We were both genuinely paranoid; maybe me more than him. Hell, I almost threatened to swear on our IRL names, then I realized that’s a horrible decision. But that’s okay since we both know about the powers that may be. Next on the hit list seems to be the P-Twins, leading to a final four of Azuolas. Three people who I’ve all trusted at one point or another. I’m supposed to cut Matty at four, but I’m tempted to go to fire, but if Matty still goes home, then I go next. If I stick to the plan and get to the Final Three with Nemo and Ryan… I have no clue. The jury seems to be bitter. I just got a horrible idea. If I need to win, I’m going to have to cut Nemo. I don’t know why my gut is telling me that, but six is my chance to make a move for myself. I sound awfully gamebotty right now. I get my Extra Vote and split my two votes between Nemo and Ryan. I will the Holy Water to whoever our alliance is supposed to target. If the idol is played, then one of Nemo or Ryan goes. I still have the idol to use at five, and then I end up in a slightly better position at four. The thing is, I have been nothing but loyal to this Day 4 alliance. I have been stringing Matty along, knowing I will cut him at some point. I have no relationship with either Pendant or Piper. Someone will break up the three eventually, and I already drew the first blood when I had to sacrifice Neb. I’m actually very surprised that Nemo and Ryan still trust me; moreso Ryan since our relationship hasn’t been that good. I know Nemo has somewhat of a relationship between Pendant and Piper, but I don’t know if I have the argument to convince people to keep me. The only thing I can think of is owning the fact that I probably am the goat. I have hid behind the excuse of time zones (which sadly doesn’t make much sense since there have been times this season where I’m running on 2-3 hours of sleep… usually before Tribal Council), stabbed people in the back unnecessarily, and yet I still haven’t quite owned up to it. You become what you fear most. It makes no sense for me to betray my alliance since I know Pendant and Piper probably still have it out for me when I took Kam out. But unless I want to get dragged to the end to Day 38, then I don’t know what will happen. This one doesn’t make any sense, but I’ll see how things go after immunity. If I’m still feeling up to it, then I’ll go forth with Operation Shark Bait. I need to get some sleep 🤠

"katzole"

- Follow up confessional since it’s 4 now and I’ve reached a new level of enlightenment. Like, Coach on Exile Island type of stuff.

Okay, I’m a round short since that didn’t happen until the Tocantins final five, but you get the idea. On that note, I’m on another Tocantins rewatch and Survivor seasons are meant to be played with two tribes of eight. It just makes sense! This game is messing with my head. Like, maybe it’s compounded with leaving for college in two weeks (what should be a day or two after FTC if I’m counting days correctly), but I am getting way too invested in this. I need to breathe, go down to the beach, climb a pine tree, drink milk tea, I don’t know, but I gotta stop running scenarios through my head like a crazy person. I just remembered that I only joined this season to step out of my comfort zone and to try something new. It’s gone above and beyond my expectations. To be chosen from I don’t know more than 16 applicants and make it to the top 16, to win challenges, to find idols, to just… get out there and meet all sorts of new people and experience such a strange space. It’s unreal. But this is just a game. By September, I’ll be in a new city, meeting new people, studying in college. This game will be nothing but a fun little summer fling. But at the same time, this game has been so unique and so memorable, and I wouldn’t want things to end on such a sour note. And hey — at the end of the day, game aside, Nemo and I are will still be friends. Glad I got to get closer to him, and now that I’ll also be on the East Coast, I’d be more than happy to send him a box of donuts. He loves donuts. I’d love to talk to people like Ryan and Matty, and even Frog and Evan once this game is done. And I do love all five hosts. This group has just been a stellar combination and collection of people. I am so glad I crossed paths with each and every one of them (except for maybe the four people from Ruta that I didn’t meet. They seem wonderful though!) Who knows, maybe I’d like to actually visit Lithuania in the distant future. What a lovely country. And an even crazier thought, why not apply for Survivors 43 and 44? ok maybe not since i am delayed a semester in college and my parents won’t let me unless i gain 20 more pounds but let’s keep up the optimism and realizations So if I win immunity, cool! If I somehow take a shot at the power duo of Nemo and Ryan, awesome! If I fall flat on my face trying to take that shot, that’s alright. If it turns out I got dragged to the end, then I will gladly let the chariots drag me through the dirt. Nothing and nobody can take away whatever growth I’ve found in this game. I went through these 30 days the only way I knew how; I made the most of my experience, and I realized that I am a cowboy 🤠 Ok no, not really, if anything I realized I am a grandpa, but like, you get the idea 🧡 ok but at the final tribal council should i do my speech with emojis and minion memes or nah. probably not. but that would be iconic methinks.

Day 31
"katzole"

- Losing Immunity SUCKS. I was so freaking close and I had such confidence in myself that I had it in the bag. Nemo is definitely showing he is a competitor in this game and based off his reaction and tribal answers, also isn't afraid of how big of a target that makes him. I'm frustrated I can't seem to take the game into my own hands. I have had no power in the game thus far. Time to manifest it.

"katzole"

- There are currently two plans out there that I am aware of. One includes the OG Azu's in voting out Pendant. Then there is another plan of the P-Twins, Samb and myself to vote Ryan out. And honestly, I don't even know what plan is best for me. Because on one end, I think there is a final three alliance with Samb, Nemo, and ryan while on the other hand, I don't know if I want to risk going with going toe to toe with the P-Twins at F4.

"katzole"

- I am thinking of a plan to possibly blindside Samb. Which is really tough for me because he has been there for me through a lot of this. But in a lot of ways, I have seen his trust broken to me. I don't know if I am just listening in all the wrong places. But I just don't know what is to come of all of this. There might be a big move tonight. Or I could be throwing it all away.

"katzole"

- Samb comes to me and tells me Ryan doesn't trust me, which makes all the reason why I should vote him out. And Samb also told me that as a back up, he told Ryan and Nemo that he is using his extra vote against Pendant. But he is actually using it on Ryan. this just kinda confirms for me that Samb, Ryan, and Nemo had some sort of final 3 that I really does make me worried for my end game. I want to set myself up to win. But I really don't know who I can trust at this point. Once this vote goes down, there is no turning back. Thinking tonight will be a 5-2 vote. But I'm not holding my breath.

"katzole"

- -Matty didn't like that I played my SWP without telling him beforehand. Shit. I messed up there. I don't think Matty trusts me anymore. This is bad. -No one is really saying names in Requested by Nemo chat and Matty is reacting to it lol. -Well that was a nothing conversation with Piper. -Pendant isn't giving me names either. Fuck. -Nemo wants Pendant out as the biggest threat remaining outside the trio -Pendant tells me I'm being targeted cuz I'm seen as a power duo with Nemo. FFS Samb has done a good job of covering up his connection to Nemo. -Nemo says he's doing his best to ensure that Samb and Matty don't vote me. But I don't want my entire game being reliant on Nemo keeping me here. -I told Pendant that I don't want this to be a vote between the two of us. And again told Pendant that Samb is the real target to weaken Nemo, not me. -Nemo straight up told me he won't play his Idol on me. Meanwhile, Samb hands over all his advantages to Nemo and yet I'm the one that's tied to Nemo's hip. :rolling_eyes: -Nemo says that Piper wants to bow out at F4 so she isn't trashed by the jury. Yeah Nemo/Samb have got F2 on lock LOL and they don't need me. They're both making F4 with their idols and F3 if Piper is bowing out. Apparently Piper has a steal a vote too. -My last resort is turning Pendant and Matty against Samb but I think it's too late in the tribal period to make it happen. So Imma just vote Pendant and hope for the best. Trust ranking: Nemo > everyone else

"katzole"

- I’m afraid to read through that last Day 30 confessional; I really thought I was onto something, huh 🥴

Note to self: I am slow, not old. I am slow, not old. I am the only one that took double digits to finish the challenge. And Nemo won again, which means whatever scenario I was conspiring for has no value nor purpose right now. What’s getting on my nerves is how he is calling the shots in the alliance chat. But I will take a deep breath, smile, and just keep an ear open. I wouldn’t be surprised if Matty, Pendant, and Piper decide to go Ryan. Nemo is banking on my Extra Vote to break the theoretical tie, and yeah, I’m down for that. I might just break the tie to cut Ryan at six instead of three. Or not, I don’t know.

"katzole"

- I had some long and winded and quite frankly, convoluted and gamebotty confessional where I was getting worked up over whether or not I should vote for Pendant or Ryan, but you know what? I’m a cowboy 🤠 I do whatever the cow I want.

Betraying my alliance is the only way to ensure that I can add a move that actually made sense to my resume and to be a part of what everyone has been waiting for for so long. This one’s gonna be fun.

"katzole"

- It’s time for another episode of 4 am thoughts with Samb. This one should make sense, I hope. Maybe it will be even more convoluted than my self-imposed Exile Island epiphanies. But the gist of it is that tonight, I am writing down Pendant’s name. But I am also writing down Ryan’s name. And that I will rip off the band-aid.

I’ve been very passive since the merge started. I’ve been going with the flow and sticking to the plans of the majority. At this rate, I’m guaranteed a smooth ride until the final three. But you know what, it’s the final six. What have I got to lose? Nothing. If this means I have to put an end to the steamroll, then so be it. The plan tonight is to split my votes. One on Pendant, the other on Ryan. Nemo and Ryan will vote for Pendant. Matty, Pendant, and Piper should vote for Ryan. The votes should go back and forth until the final vote ends up for Ryan. I promised them I’d use my Extra Vote, but I didn’t say who I was using it on. Ryan will be pissed. Nemo will be distraught. Pendant will be relieved. Piper will be piping. Matty will be surprised. and Samb will be 🤠 Ending the alliance with Nemo and Ryan has been on my mind since after we voted out Anubis. I wanted to burn Nemo’s idol by forcing him to play it at seven. I then wanted to split the votes 2-2-2 between Nemo and Ryan at this round. But this is my last chance before getting dragged to three as a goat. Call it pandering to get things on the dreaded theoretical Survivor resume, but when one of the biggest threats of the game is right in front of you and you’ve only got one shot to take them out, you take it. It’s like ripping off a band-aid. It’s going to hurt. But you know what? It will feel so much better in the end. I should be able to pull some strings and be able to apologize to Nemo, because honestly - that was my only shot to solidify a final two. We use the idols on ourselves. I’ll burn the Holy Water on Matty, just to be safe. Pendant should go home. Piper should go at four. Matty should go at three. Or I could go at three. Maybe Nemo just might leave. Who knows. I’ve only had things figured out until four. What caused the sudden desire to make a big move? I don’t know, actually. The more that I realize it, I have been slowly clawing my way to the top. I did not anticipate Kam’s idol, and I know that I should have split the votes, but I went along with the plan to cut Neb to pull Nemo and Ryan closer to me. I chose Kam over Evan because Kam had a stronger social pull than I realized... unknowingly taking out the trio of Pendant and Piper. I pushed to break the duo of Evan and Frog. Anubis blew up his own game. Frog was collateral damage. That’s a vote I could have navigated better. By taking out the biggest threats, not only do I hopefully regain the trust of Pendant and Piper, but I also should be able to lock in the loyalties of Matty and Nemo. If all else fails, then hey - I can’t say I didn’t try. This has been a rollercoaster of a first ORG, and these are just games. Might as well have some fun while I can. If in some universe sticking it out with Nemo and Ryan to the end was the better move, then so be it. Winning would be the cherry on top, but like I said, I’ve gotten so much out of this experience. More than I could have ever imagined. And if this is where my game becomes a trainwreck, then I’d love to go out in a blaze of orange hearts.

"katzole"

- …ripped off the bandaid, but did I die? Craziest and riskiest move I’ve done all season. My heart is beating out of my chest. But here we go, Final Five, let’s play 🤠🧡