Board Thread:Survivor: Tokelau (Season 14)/@comment-26376587-20160115020240

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You see Danielle and Tommy's speeches? Pretty tame, right?

This one won't be.

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WELCOME TO HELL.

Now let me preface this by saying that personally, you're all pretty cool people. Blaine, you eat a little too much ass for my liking but overall, pretty cool people. However, you each did some extremely stupid shit in the game, some of which costed one of you my vote already. For the sake of torture and revenge for the child support joke, I'm not going to say which one of you it was. I do have questions for each of you but I'll start off with some general statements.

- You all played the game. THANK YOU FOR THAT. Coming from Minoan Empire where I was literally a babysitter in my cast and only had like 3 competent players in it, it was a refreshing experience to be surrounded by game-intensive minds.

- You all played the game...not as you envisioned it. What I mean by this is that:

1) Most of your claims in your speeches were exaggerated and misleading [although I'll give some leeway because there's no way you could have known everything behind the scenes such as I missed out on some details during the game]

2) There was just some horrendous decision-making on some of your parts. Like honestly, thinking about the way things went in the game, I'm honestly baffled as to how 2 of you made it to the end. It's completely inplausible but as such, I must set you all on fire now and see which one of you can put it out first.

So let's begin with Jake. (you won't have any wigs after I'm done with you)

Jake, in-game, I didn't see what others saw in you. The Touchy Subjects challenge, I was the only person not to vote for you in any of those categories that labelled you a threat in anyway except for like maybe 1 category which was probably true. I see now what they all saw. You played a cutthroat game. I respect that.''' I LIKE THAT. '''You were in a position of power that allowed you to play that way, and since your target never really blew up, you managed to escape the hot seat a few times. You did, in fact, convince Hunter to give you the Social Idol. You did, in fact, play arguably the best game out of the finalists. However, you made some severe missteps in the merged portion of the game.

- Anything you're taking credit for from the Tommy vote to the Julian vote, that wasn't you. I remember talking to Sora about this, we were the ones putting in overtime. Kim showed me your fake screenshot and said it wasn't convincing at all and she tried swinging me to vote against you afterwards (I was aiming for a Final 4 of Sora, you, Hunter, and myself so it would be 2-2 and it would be fair). So you're not as successful in the game as you would like to make yourself out to be. That stretch after you flipped from the other side was basically you sitting back and laying in the shadows, your speech would have gone over much better with me if you admitted to that.

- You failed to vote out Sora in the Final 4 vote. That would have been the game-winning vote honestly. You and Sora failing to vote each other out is extremely egregious and it reflects poorly on both of you for not recognizing the biggest threat to win was each other. My biggest issue with this vote was that you unnecessarily blew up at Hunter and Sora for wanting to vote you out. You knew it yourself that you were probably the biggest threat to win, what's the point of getting mad? Especially with Sora, you conferred with Kim and Blaine to split the votes on him and me, so in my eyes, it makes you look like you were entitled to not getting voted out while no one else shared that same privilege. I'm honestly shocked that you managed to avoid getting voted out, you should have been gone 3-1. It really annoyed me.

In any case, I have questions for you regarding how you perceived the game, because from your speech, it appears as though you were dependent on Sora, and Sora was dependent on ME, so by extension, you weren't the top dog at all.

1) Why didn't you vote out Sora at the Final 4 Tribal Council?

2) Why did you make a fake screenshot to use? (i'm cool with this, I just want to know)

3) Do I really owe child support?

Good luck, and may the rest of the speeches spare you.

Next, Blaine.

Blaine, Blaine, Blaine. What can I say? YOU EAT ASS.

THAT IS ALL.

Nah, but for real, Blaine. You were Mike Holloway minus the social game. You say you used your relationships to survive, but when you have to win 4 immunities in a row to get to the end, it doesn't seem like using relationships really worked. I feel as though your game was more opportunistic; you jumped at any chance you had of pulling some shit and usually, it was not in your favor. You acknowledged SOME of these things when you mentioned that your top allies kept getting taken out. What you didn't mention was your own idol. How the hell did I figure out that you had an idol and managed to flush it out of you? There's no way around this, you got outplayed in several aspects of the game. I could respect your speech a lot more if you admitted to every thing that didn't go your way in the game, but you conveiently omitted that part out. You say you got tired of offering Sora your vote for tribal, why was I not offered that same grace? I did figure out shortly after the Danny vote that it was Sora who voted out Danny, not you. I wasn't aware you and Danny were good budides, in fact, I wish he told me beforehand so we could have sticked together. The only time I ever lied to you was the Austin vote, I was being cautious because the Lunata idol and Toloa idol were found, and I had no idea who it could have been. Austin was actually the right vote then because I knew he had an alliance with original Toloa, and with the chance that he had the idol, it was too good an opportunity not to pass up. I knew Chris was crazy as fuck and would end up being a martyr at the merge, so why not take out Austin?

I acknowledge the fact that you shared idol clues with Kim and used that to your advantage in order to take one of us out before idols weren't usable at the Final 6. However, from Kim's account, it sounds like Jake is the one who approached you guys about the split vote plan. So one of you is telling a misleading version of the story behind it and I want to know the truth. I was open to working with you, but you kept on doing the same old things in the game and at the time, Jake and Hunter were more trustworthy. While I was in the game however, I witnessed many conversations you had with people and honestly, I don't think your social and strategic games were up to par. So I leave with these questions:

1) What do you think changed from your game in IDS, because from what I've seen, you played MUCH, much better in IDS than in Tokelau?

2) What's the truth behind the Final 6 vote, was it Jake who came up with it or was it you? Kim gave up hope until she realized her rock was an idol, and Hunter never was the ringleader of things, so fess up the truth.

3) Do you honestly truly eat ass because you give me ass eating vibes?

Good luck.

Finally, the illiterate scumbag himself, Sora.

Sora, you're a piece of work. You were a bunch of nerves, always on your toes in the game. You overthought many things and worried a bunch about petty details. With an idol in your backpocket that no one knew about, you sure had a "lot of confidence" about your chances in the game. My biggest issue with you is that you lied about the idol and hid it from everyone. I'll say this so everyone can read it: If you had told me about your idol, the game would have been much, much easier for the both of us. You unnecessarily blindsided Danny behind my back and it essentially pitted Blaine and myself against each other (although I do admit I escalated this conflict of my own accord). You did play a great, behind the scenes game, but I feel as though I was the more dynamic of the duo. We bounced ideas off of each other, but I had to do the dirty work, such as mindfucking Julian to such a horrid degree that he decided not to play his idol and completely distrust Kim or even appealing to Kim to swing TSN and vote Tommy off in the revote. I appreciate you giving credit where it's due, and acknowledging that even some things were because of other players, instead of saying you got it all on your own. That shows respect and truthfulness. Sadly, the other contestants didn't see you this way, and for good reason. You really rubbed people the wrong way during the game, and I could feel the heat so much, I was convinced that if we were to be betrayed, you would be the one to go down. In fact, I'm so sure of the fact that if you didn't have that idol at Final 6, you would have been the one to get voted out, because there was no way Kim was voting me off and that would have trickled down.

You admitted that you weren't able to go all this way without relying on others.

You admitted that you underestimated arguably the best player this season, Kim.

We had a goon setup with the TSN vote, flushing Blaine's idol. There was no harm at Final 6 in not telling me about your idol, but you continued to hide this fact, and had the nerve to come to me and say you were worried about getting votes. So I have questions for you:

1) Why didn't you share the info about the idol with ME and me alone, you knew we were in it to the end no matter what?

2) In your honest words, why did you vote Chris that one tribal?

3) What specifically did you and Jake talk about during the game, and how much info and plans about votes did you tell Jake that originated from us speaking?

That's it for the finalists, but I'm not done yet. Shoutout to my main allies, Danielle the knife licker and Chris the...craziest person I've ever played with. Shoutout to Kim for being a real one, and shoutout to Julian. I hope you can recover from that brutal, brutal blindside on you. I'm so sorry.

THE HOSTS ARE GOING TO GET IT.

Heather, you didn't talk much and I still find it hilarious how you used and abused Josh Sackler's boner for you to win CV, so you're good.

Nuno, just know that for every child support check I won't be paying, that's how many votes you lost in Skye Islands.

Tyler, I wrote ENOUGH confessionals for my own benefit. I didn't want to go and be this devious evil guy who would confide every single detail of his plan in all my confessionals, I wanted to keep some things left out in case I got details wrong (which I inevitably did) so I could fix my viewpoint in case I made FTC. No, I will not pay the child support. No, there is no mother or baby. No, no, no, no, no. I am the only black man that matters Tyler. You are a clone and you are OBSELETE. FORGET YOU, GET OUT OF HERE, GO HOME.

To my favorite host Joe...

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Survivor ORGs, and I’ve been involved in numerous blindsides on the ORG, and I have over 15 confirmed kills.

I am trained in mindfucking  warfare and I’m the top player in the entire ORG armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of sheep across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s without all those goddamn items.

Not only am I extensively trained in Survivor strategy, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Skye Islands Amusement Park of Doom and I will use it to its full extent to blindside your miserable ass off the rollercoaster you rode into life, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Good luck kiddos. ALSO VOTE ME INTO RETRIBUTION EVERYONE IT'S GOING TO BE FUCKING LIT I'M TELLING YOU VOTE ME IN FUCKING VOTE ME IN DO IT YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE YOU VOTE ME INTO RETRIBUTION JUST DO IT  