Keep Expecting The Worst/Confessionals

Day 17
"kappolla"

- I honestly can’t believe that everything at last tribal occurred. Mason managed to somehow pull everything together and take out Conch, and not only am I in a key position right now, but I also have none of the blood on my hands.

Using the information I have on Magnus, they’re in a ton of orgs and sort them by priority, so I’m hoping this one falls way down and I don’t have to deal with them making a comeback.

"ri"

- Well Conch and Eamonn voted out kinda makes me happy.... OOP sorry Its just 2 more people that voted me out now join me. Although they are way better competitors than Nat so it will be kinda difficult to beat them.

"ri"

- I think I might have failed the challenge, I had fun in Survivor: Meanjin and wish the rest of the players good luck :((

"ri"

- Tysm for casting me, I had such a great time playing both in the game and at the tree. I’d love to play again in the future ;) MWA ❤️

Day 18
"ngauu"

- Tonight I’m gonna let the tribe vote me out and I’m bowing out. I’m not a quitter, I’m just letting two people who wanna compete here compete. I’m close with both, I can’t really make up my mind-as to who I want to stay over the other and they both deserve it more than me.

"dumbripi"

- Okay, who the fuck thinks to sit out the only person NOT in the American timezone for a challenge where you need to be actively cycling with each other to get the longest combined thing? Seriously? Hello, logic much? Of course we‘re losing this one and then I‘ll be the one to blame cause I wasn‘t supportive and had too much negative energy (cause you know, how dare anyone express any kind of annoyance, right?), despite the fact that it made zero sense to have me in this challenge... I guess I can put the blame on Cole for sitting out immediately and emphasise the messed up timezone logic. ARGH.

Some really good news is that I FINALLY GOT AN IDOL NUMBER! 97‘s in the third spot. I did tell Kamen immediately about it, though now I think I should have pretended for a bit longer and keep it to myself. Though it‘s already quite fiddly to have separate lists for marking down numbers that he‘s doing, that I told him I guessed but I haven‘t, or vice versa, and all that chaos. So at least it‘s gonna be easier. I do feel there‘s been a good progress in guessing overall, especially with his help. Sometimes I do feel that maybe I‘m slightly using him, but at the same time I would totally use it on him if needed. I just know I want it to be mine and found by me.

"ngauu"

- So, another fucking loss. I am so dissapointed in myself. However, Logan has offered himself up as the sacrifice. This definitely makes the decision s lot easier. Thanks, Logan

Day 19
No confessionals were recorded on Day 19.

Day 20
"kappolla"

- I realized I haven't submitted a confessional in days, so I'm gonna break it up into two. For episode purposes, I'd really prefer for this one to be in the previous episode, because it's gonna be about Conch's vote out and I'll also add the immunity challenge.

Conch was successfully voted out, and oh nelly was I nervous. I'm really happy with Nick and Andrew right now, because they're doing their part and I'm enjoying playing the game with them. Nick is a king, by the way. At first I thought he was gonna be another inactive person, but once I started chatting with him when I started the Conch plan, I was surprised he was so responsive. He's a kind person in the DMs, and I always respect people who aren't afraid to use exclamations and emojis lmao. He seems really thankful that I was so willing to vote for Conch, so I'm really hoping Nick is in it with me till the end, because I'd like to see Nick go far too. If I'm honest, I don't think Nick is playing the game very hard at this point, but he's a very valuable person to me who I want to protect at almost all costs. Conch admitted they had the idol on their way out, which is good. Magnus was angry and it was pretty obvious. I was genuine in that I want to continue working with them, but I have a feeling Magnus is looking for the quickest opportunity for revenge. If Conch ends up returning, I know I have my work cut out for me. Things appeared to be better for the immunity challenge, which by the way was really fun. I had a really stressful day with my calculus midterm and all, but it was honestly relaxing and almost meditative to go through the challenge the last 45 minutes until the deadline. Makes you think how many names exist and we only got through 365.

"kappolla"

- Now, relating to the present, I'm anticipating the return of either Tal, Conch, or Logan. I'd really like to see Tal return out of anybody. Clearly, Conch returning would be horrible because they'll probably target me right away and link up with Magnus again. I've never trusted Logan and he backstabbed Nat. He got what he deserved by getting voted out imo. It'll be two days before we learn who returns, so I'll be really anticipating that. By the way hosts, I love the creativity of the Wii Party minigame. I still play Wii Party from time to time with my friends and family just cause it's always a blast lmao.

Working with Andrew is still frustrating. He's full of ideas that will always have consequences that he doesn't understand. He and I are both under the assumption that we're gonna merge after the person returns from the Tree, and Andrew wants to lie to Gavin that the SFW alliance was never a thing so that Gavin will trust us. What? Even if people know about this alliance, there's only two people remaining. At the merge, a pair doesn't mean shit. Plus, if I find a better route, I'd leave Andrew so quickly. Hm, I wonder if I will have to throw him under the bus. It will be hard finding direction once the merge comes. I really would like to stick with Andrew and Nick if that's possible, because that's a perfect final three for me to win in as long as Andrew and Nick maintain the same style of play. As far as who I'd like to link up with, of course Kamen is my first thought. If our alliances could get together, we could get rid of the rest of Ngau'u or something, because they're a lost cause at this point. If I'm getting bad vibes from Kamen because he's been away from me too long, I would like to try to set something up with Gavin and Morgan. I don't know if those two get along, but they've voted together at every Ngau'u tribal council, or at least that's how it appears. Doing this, though, would require a lot of reliance on Magnus and the returnee. I don't know if Dumb will stick together (aka the whole tribe is Kamen's alliance), but that's my less desirable route. Maybe we won't even merge. We'll just have to see what happens.

"dumbripi"

- 9 times out of 10 when I play these orgs, my biggest ally always manages to find the idol. In this game, despite coming into it with people I knew from previous games, Catnip has been someone who I have connected to the most. We talk everyday unlike Cole and Jason on my tribe, and we searched for the idol together excluding Jason and Cole. Now unfortunately Catnip found the idol before I could and although I am happy that she trusts me with that information.... I just know its going to only benefit her since it gives her soooooo much more power. She is a challenge beast compared to me and now she has an idol that I do not have. Luckily things can change down the line, but I am worried that she will easily sweep her way to the end because I am someone who can't win a challenge to save my life. For now I will continue to use her as my shield, but I really need to time it right down the line on when I need to get rid of her before I look like I am easily lead by her.

"dumbripi"

- I‘m now used to waking up and having at least 6 different notifications from pings, usually around half of those are from the active org I‘m in. I‘m definitely not used to seeing two out of three of my last number guesses to be ! and & :O So, on my evening guess... I HAVE THE MOTHERTRUCKING IDOL. Gosh how stoked I am! FUCK YEAH JACARANDA! (It is a pretty looking tree, not gonna lie). Aaah, my precious... I need to come up with a good plan for you... Keeping you safe for as long as I can. [Okay, that was a bit overdone, but you get the point]

Also, yes, I‘m definitely telling Kamen about it. I don‘t like having secrets, especially on such big scale. I wonder if he‘ll suspect this being too lucky, considering for how short from his perspective we‘ve been looking for it. If only he knew for how long have I actually been looking for it and grinding those bloody numbers...