Marc Jacobs Looking Son Of A Bitch/Confessionals

Day 18
""stefani"

- So Liam goes which is perfect. I hate the circumstances of this day for you, but the game doesn't stop. You didn't speak to me, at all. Why the hell would I trust or work with someone who won't talk?? Like come on bruh. That's just bad gameplay. I like you, but that wasn't the best. Going forward, I'm sticking my neck out some. I need to expand my network more. I'm starting to reveal a bit about my position in that alliance to a handful of people. That it was more by circumstance than anything, which is partially true. Ben is the only one who I wanted to work with in the long term between that core 3. I'm still willing to turn on Karsten and Liz when the time comes. But that time isn't now. People know those 3 are together so why weaken them? They will be targeted just the same later. I think I'm gonna need some shields come the merge and its imperative that people have a reason to vote others and not me. That's my gameplay, make sure others have a reason to vote out someone else over me. I take advantage of people having tunnel vision. Am I? Maybe, but that's not the concern. its back to my bread and butter which is about the social game. I need to shake this perception and fast. "				""stefani"

- I am so glad Tribal is over. I almost got eliminated. Jerry came to me 10 minutes before I had to go to work and said that he was worried and I immediately thought that Charlie was flipping, so I asked him that and he responded with ""I think so"". I was fucking shocked. I did not think that Charlie wouldn't flip on me. During my shift at work I was thinking I was going to be the one going, but when I returned I saw that Liam got voted out in a 4-1 vote and that was a huge fucking relief. Louise wasn't so happy about me staying though, which sucks for her!

I went to Charlie after I got off of work and talked to him about how I have his back and I think it went well! Right now my 4 main allies are Jerry, Liz, Karsten and Charlie and I plan on sticking with those four till the end. I haven't really been getting anywhere with anyone else really. I just find it hard to talk game with people who I'm not aligned with and I feel like that could be a downfall for me, but we will see. "				"mytikas"

- We lost and suddenly everyone wants to talk, but they vanished the hour before results. I’m hoping I’m just tripping. But it’s just weird because I don’t feel they tried all the way till the end and they show up once we have to go to tribal. I don’t want to leave right before this. "mytikas"

- sad @ liam dying!! he was gonna be a solid ally during the merge and he was really upset about it 😞 rn i think me malik and louise r like 100% certain that we're killing off karsten bc of the alliance and we don't really get to talk anyways bc of ya know timezones succ!! ""stefani"

- Ok, honestly after waking up and seeing how Louise reacted to the results. I think I made the right decision here. She talked about ""a shot at breaking up an alliance"", but she is also in an alliance? So I don't really know why she is saying that... I made the move that I thought was best for my game, going with the alliance that I thought was the best one for me.

Louise has never really spoken to me, so I'm a bit confused if she assumes I'm going to work with her at the merge.. I tried to make the effort with her at the beginning, but gave up after a while. People like Liz and Ben have made a real effort with me.

I feel a bit calmer now. Cammy and Ryan have supported me in making the right decision, and so I feel a lot better now. I was feeling so sad last night. "				""stefani"

- Ok I love this challenge lmao... it is fucking hard though! Luckily, I came up with this idea of posting help threads on those subreddits which specialize in finding things on the internet that are hard to find. They're called ""Namethatsong"" and ""helpmefind"".

I'm actually quite shocked that the hosts allowed me to do it, but this should hopefully propel us into a win! "				""stefani"

- OMG, we've had quite a few responses already! I'm so happy this is working, hopefully it will make me popular with my tribemates lol.

In other news, I had the idea of sharing my list with Cammy's tribe. Honestly I think this is a great idea, as I don't really want anyone on Kakalos to leave, whereas I don't care as much about the ppl on Mytikas lol. No offence!

Posie said she's gonna get back to me later about it. "				"stefani"

- The hosts allowed it! Feeling so happy right now :D Cammy also shared her list with me, and I told my tribe that I got all these new answers with my family members. Lmao I felt bad about lying but I also didn't feel comfortable sharing that me and Cammy had shared lists in that way.

Day 19
"stefani"

- Wooohooooooo our tribe and kakalos won! All my main people are safe, and I'm not put in an ultra awkward position at this tribal, feeling very happy! Tbh I do see Karsten leaving over on mytikas, which is a drawback for my merge plan. Rather him than Cammy/Ryan though. "kakalos"

- we won again whew this tribe kicks ass. Kinda wild I'm in the final 13 now. Kinda sucks that Mytikas lost because I was really hoping those 5 were in merge with me and i kinda wish i tried to give them some answers or something?? but rip oh well at least it aint me flksdjf ""stefani"

- I'm glad that we won immunity, but I personally feel like I'm coasting by and I don't like that feeling and I don't know what to do about it.

I know in my last confessional I said I trusted Charlie 100%, but I'm starting to think that Charlie is becoming the Perry this season. I feel like he can easily take control of this game and I don't like that, but I can't really do anything about it now. I'll just continue to talk to him and all that bs "				""stefani"

- Big win...big win for me! I needed this one. Mainly because the merge seems to be looming around the corner. Not sure when but soon. If its next round, then I think I can set myself up to do what I could not do in Carthage. Have options! Currently I'm working tightly with Ben and Charlie. They each have connections just like me.

Ben and Liz (Karsten if he survives) Charlie and Cammy/Ryan/Gevonte. My Mytikas homies who are left Nicole who I have talked to quite a bit and could be a potential ally Brian who I wanna work with but I am not sure if we will have the same interests

My main objective throughout this to to build a strong enough connection with different people throughout the game to try and get myself into people's corners but not reveal my true intentions, even I don't exactly know my best course of action right now. But what I do know is that, I'm probably gonna be hurting some people's feelings at that point in the game and I'm cool with it. If its merge, its time to pick up the pace and see if the social game I have built since day 1 is gonna pay off. Idk anyone who has a problem with me, and if they do. I'm gonna find out and get rid of them. Its all about being flexible. And that's gonna carry me to the top. "				"mytikas"

- Ok so, this should be easy but every time that there has been a tribal that should’ve been easy, it doesn’t turn out that way. So, Louise and Karsten have been at each other’s necks. Louise is targeting Karsten, and Karsten is targeting Louise. Me, Nicole and Emily should be safe here. I like them both, hell I like pretty much my entire tribe, the most I like is everyone in their own way but probably leaving more towards Karsten/Louise, and least is Emily mainly because our convos never ever go anywhere. I don’t see how people can connect with her no shade because I’m sure I’ve thrown a few bones to attempt but idk sjfnsndjs as much as I enjoy both of them, and as much as I hate to do this to Karsten again, I’m likely going to vote him out, mainly because of the Dion alliance claims, and I do feel bad because I was just accused of having one myself, but not only do I feel Louise and Liam were authentic when it came to the story, the numbers during the Sammy vote match up, atleast to me. The thing is he’s gone the most to the maze of anyone besides me and Nicole, so Nicole is nervous of him having an idol. But the maze was so hard so idk if he did or not. Hopefully this is the first time a tribal goes my way, and that it doesn’t backfire on me. I can’t imagine how Merge is going to go if I make it there. "kakalos"

- so I've been thinking a lot today about the game, mostly about how I can make sure i'm in the majority once merge happens since it's likely to happen next round... and tbqh I'm worried. I'm worried that Malik is going to try to align with most of the people from Dion 2.0 and target like me/Charlie/Cammy/Emily;;; I'm worried that Karsten/Liz/Ben are going to have a lot of power and that they might ultimately use that power in a way that worsens my game;;; I'm just worried in general ugh. I've been talking with some ppl on Mytikas who are at tribal right now trying to get the tea on what's happening, and also kinda trying to make sure that Nicole and Louise are safe specifically bc I feel really confident they would have my back in merge. Nicole tells me that there's a blindside brewing 👀and she can "confirm" that Louise isn't going anywhere (after she told me already that that is who Emily is voting.. 👀 👀) so I'm hella curious to see what happens. I love Malik but he seriously has me worried so tbh I'd like to see him go; I love Karsten also but he's been worrying me lately too and I'm not so sure how loyal he would be to me in merge so if he leaves it wouldn't be all that bad. But bleh I need to get my mind in a better place & be more optimistic jfklasd "mytikas"

- fucking marc jacobs looking son of a bitch i wasted so much time on him in that challenge i didnt get to do more and we lost by such a small amount UGH and now im gonna mcfucking die possibly bc emily and karsten are voting me im voting karsten and malik and nicole said they are too AND I TRUST THEM kinda maybe a tad but im still scared NNNNNNNNN ""kakalos"

- last tribal, charlie and i had to make a decision as to what made the most sense for us going forward. it was confirmed that charlie was going to be safe, but we had to decide if going with liam and his group, or ben and his group was better for us. i think either way, i would be in an ok position, because charlie would have a target on himself for making the move, so if they did want to take a shot at us it won’t be at me but at him.

the main deciding factor for voting out liam was how liam/brian would talk to charlie and i. brian kept talking about making this alliance (literally the last couple rounds) but he never has. when i swapped with liam, brian told me to keep liam safe. and then when charlie swapped with liam again, brian told him to keep liam safe. but like… at the end of the day, i don’t think brian or liam cared deeply about my safety (or charlie’s) like they cared about each others. and, if you want me to save someone, tell me why. i don’t want a demand or an order, you need to convince me.

for this challenge, charlie and i are working together to try to make sure both of our tribes are safe and to send mytikas to tribal. it’ll be interesting to see what happens bc i know louise and malik are working together and looking to take out karsten. i really, really like karsten and obviously don’t want him out but i’m interested in seeing what nicole/emily will do because both are kind of question marks for me and i’d like to get an idea of what really is going on with them.

i’m also kind of in a funk because i feel like i’m really not doing as well with my social game as i was before. i think it’s the changes happening in my real life that are making me not focus as much on the game, but i’m hoping i’ll get in the groove again soon. "				"mytikas"

- so me and malik decided to withold the infomation from emily because she came up to us and was like i vote louise she no talk to me!!! hopefully we can like do damage control if shes pissed but like i mean... she didn't tell me about lexi vote so i dont feel bad. hopefully it merges after this bc it wouldn't make much sense if it was like 12 with juror removal 1. bad twist 2. makes it obvious and 11 with a jury of 9 seems small idk!!