I'll Write His Name Down So Fast/Confessionals

Day 22
"jigme"

- Wow, what a crazy tribal! I thought everything was going to come crashing down on me, people were going to see that I was a snake and I was going to be exposed in the tribe chat. That was my *best* case scenario, which means that I didn't really plan this out well. However, something insane happened and no one knows anything!

Yesterday, Seamus told me that he wanted to form a group with me, him, Pory, Liam, Tyler, and Drew. Pory and I had absolutely no intentions of sticking to this group, we had our own little alliance with us, Lexi, and Jp.

Seamus' alliance wanted to vote out Lexi. I did not want to vote out Lexi, so I placed a vote on Tyler. I had promised Seamus that I was voting Lexi, so when he found out the #VincentExposedParty was going to start in the tribe chat.

So then Pory tells me of Drew's plans to force a rock draw because Drew really, really didn't want to decide between Lexi and Tyler. Pory asked me if he should vote Lexi to change the vote from 6-2 to 5-3, and we figured that would keep us in good graces with Drew, so he did that. Of course it was a 4-4 vote! So idk who was the real 4th Lexi voter aside from Pory, Liam, and Seamus, but it sure wasn't me!

Here is the best part: Seamus walked up to me and he had no idea! I think Damien might have even told him something, but Seamus definitely didn't believe it. So what does this mean? I'm sticking with that alliance for as long as possible. We're going to see how long we can make things last before Seamus finds out what happened. He's definitely going to find out one day, and when he does it's going to be an insane tribal council. But I still have my idol, so anything can happen. There's still a lot of game to play, so get ready for a wild ride everyone!

"jigme"

- Well, that was certainly fucking interesting. God, Drew, baby, you got what was coming to you my dude. You see, the strong do not try and ruin themselves to save a friend. They cut one and move on. Get your revenge another day man, but don't sac yourself for this. Bold move that could have worked out? Yeah, but you had a 3/7 chance of this shit working lol. It didn't. Meanwhile the only fucking reason I did it was because Vincent still trusted me. Yeah, your whole "don't tell a soul" thing, kiiiiinda went back on that. I told Vincent what was going on and he was reluctant but let me do it. Hell the guy even passed me the idol when it went to rocks (gave it right back after). But, you see, this is why Vincent and I are the real power duo. Not me and Lexi, or you and Liam, or whoever the fuck you think it is, it's us. We have actual trust in each other. We're set for life man. We're making final 2, and not a single fucking other person on this tribe can stop us. We're the two emperors of the mountains. And you may think "oh Pory it can't be that easy can it?" well you see when Damien continues to act so crazy it makes it too easy that even fucking Seamus, oh god Seamus you need to fucking chill btw, anyways point is when Damien goes insane and gives himself the largest fucking target this becomes too easy. The guy immediately goes around and accusing people of conspiring to go to rocks. True, yes, there was a conspiracy. Was Seamus in on it? Fuck no are you daft? God Damien you're pushing away your only shot at surviving this vote besides the immunity necklace. Speaking of challenges, I generally could not give less of a shit if we win this one or not. Vincent has the Jigme idol, so is there a point to trying? I don't need to look like a huge challenge threat. If I keep winning nothing gets done but make myself look like too much of a physical threat too early. Yeah no that has happened 10 times too many. Anyways, for now, should be organizing Me-Liam-Vincent-Lexi-Tyler to group together shortly. JP's allegiance is... questionable at best. I have no clue where he stands. To me, he definitely knew about the idol and the split vote, but whatever, he voted Marty but how much could that count for when an idol was being played on him? Whatever, Seamus is flipping so rocks are a no-go. Point is, I'm not going anywhere. Thank God for me

"jigme"

- That was the craziest vote I have ever been a part of. From my perspective this is what happened: the vote was going to be 8-3 marty goes home, damien tells seamus about his idol in order to save marty, seamus sees this as a opportunity to take out someone like lexi and get in with drew,liam and tyler, they add me to the chat of 5 with zach aswell thinking i was also on the very very bottom, I suggest we use damiens idol to 2-2 split causing them to break apart, marty and zach agree, seamus sees this as his shot at lexi since he assumed i would vote her out. the vote happens. the tie happens. everyone starts scrambling. drew approaches tyler pory and lexi to try and tie the vote and cause rocks within the unvoted.tyler flips zach. and drew manages to pin down every single vote and cause a rock draw. That is so impressive and was 100% the best move for him. Fate had a different idea and cucked him. Amazing vote 10/10 im still alive

"jigme"

- Well that was wild. I’m pretty proud of how that went down. Sure, I didn’t come up with the plan itself but I’m the reason it existed. When the vote was for Seamus, no one gave a crap. My social game has improved.

THEN someone flipped and that was bad, Damien blames Big Z but I’m not sure. And Drew quite literally committed suicide with the most self serving and resume building decision I’ve ever seen. What a wild tribal.

"jigme"

- So now that we're officially at jury it's time for me to review my ACTUAL POSITION with everyone left in this game. Or at least my perception of my position, this could all look completely wrong by the time people see it at the end of the game. But here's stuff on my relationship with every person left here.

Drew is gone but I'll say that we were getting super super close and then he suddenly just attached himself to Seamus and believed every single thing he was told, eventually leading to both the disintegration of our game relationship towards the end and his own demise. He pretty much screwed himself over by not voting, and I'm still laughing. Love the guy tho

OK ACTUAL CAST I'll also mention at the end of each whether they know or not that I saved Tyler and voted Lexi

Jp: My best and closest relationship in the game, whether anyone actually knows or not we've been tight ever since we swapped together and we've fed each other information continuously all game long. My perfect finish is me and him in final 2, and me winning, but of course I'll take anything that ends in a win for me. Knows that I voted Lexi

Tyler: Ever since I actually saved him we have been beyond close and we're planning on taking this game by storm pretty soon. He's of course a target for a lot of people so it won't be easy and I'm not banking on this or anything, but it's effectively a final 2 deal since Tyler only has faith in me over anyone else. Which is a nice feeling to have. Obviously knows I voted Lexi

Marty: I've been close to Marty most of the game but even with still working with him I've been trying to distance myself to a degree, since he's likely a boot soon and I don't want to be grouped in with him any more than I already have been. A great dude but his perception on the tribe is what will stop him from going very far. Doesn't know that I voted Lexi, he'd be a bit mad if he found out but I'm mainly not telling him because it'd get back to our next person

Damien: This man is on the WARPATH trying to find who voted Lexi and if he actually doesn't know it was me by now I don't know how I can hint it to him any more. But if he does find out he is gonna be PISSED and will raise hell and I'll immediately have a target on my back. But as of now we're on decent terms and I'd like to stick with him if I can, but that hasn't stopped me from tossing his name into the fray a bit just so he's a bit more visible. If he goes without blowing up my game that's perfect for me. Oh and just keeping the pattern going, he, shockingly, has no idea I voted for Lexi.

Seamus: Quite literally trying to take control of the entire game, but luckily it seems that everyone can see it so I think he'll be a boot soon. I came to him first with a plan to save him and Marty both, so hopefully that level of loyalty keeps me safe in his book. Knows I voted for Lexi.

Vincent: I am convinced that conVincent has no idea what is going on in this game and literally does whatever people tell him is going to happen. We talk on and off and I think we're on decent terms but he is just like floating. It's ridiculous. Doesn't know I voted for Lexi, doesn't know much in this game to begin with.

Lexi: She was totally cool with me telling her I voted her because of how tough of a choice it was. We can maybe still work together! Even though she hasn't been super interested all along she almost died! So she might be down! This game is weird. I did tell her I voted for her but she was surprisingly cool about it.

Pory: Frantic as hell but we're still on decent terms and we do talk a little bit, there was a break during this tribal since he was the main one who tried to get me to vote for Seamus but he came to me afterward and said he's cool still working together. Don't know if I can believe it until I see it, but we'll have to see. Doesn't know I voted for Lexi but also hasn't asked.

Liam: Super boring to talk to for some reason, I just can't get into an actual convo with this guy before he cuts it off with a Yeah or an Okay or an I hope so. It's FRUSTRATING like I guess we're on good terms in the game? but like? we can never strategize because he isn't really aware of much or doing much it's the worst. Doesn't know I voted for Lexi but also doesn't know much about my game, or maybe even his own. He wouldn't have been a huge loss had he gone at rocks.

So four people know that I voted for Lexi. That group is by no means going to work together or anything but I'm just hoping that nothing suddenly blows up yknow. We'll see. This was a long confessional I hope this takes care of day 22 for y'all.

"jigme"

- Today has been an interesting day! I sent nudes to the reward challenge chat, and then the tribe chat. I don't really know why, it just somehow happened? Besides that, Liam and I have basically been the two working on the challenge. If we don't win, I don't really care all that much, I just wanted to show that I could work hard-- which now that I think about it may be counter-productive to the whole challenge beast thing. But anyways- I realized that as the lone female, I could just be like, the dominatrix-esque character. Can't you picture it now? "Hey boys, whoever votes with me gets a nude. Who wants it? Marty? Zach? Nudes for everyone!"

Okay, maybe not like THAT, but there could be a positive to being the lone female. I don't think I could pull off Dominatrix... but damsel in distress is definitely more my style. And after last vote... I could spin that pretty well I think. Anyways, that's been an update. I'm now off to talk with my several showmances of the season! <3

Day 23
"jigme"

- I wasn't expecting to win reward, but woo! I honestly forgot there was a merge idol, but at least it's the only one left in the game now as far as I know. I know I don't have the Lhotse idol, and I'm pretty sure Tyler and Drew didn't find it. Worst case scenario, Seamus has the idol from Lhotse or Tyler found it and didn't tell us about it, which honestly doesn't really bother me at this stage in the game. Regardless, I'm not optimistic about my chances in this immunity challenge but we'll see, I guess!

"jigme"

- So I've been busy and haven't had the chance to confess. Where do I start.. By this time I've finished mourning the loss of Drew, as shitty as it is that he basically rocked himself out, he wanted to do that, and he was willing to take the risk. Pory, Liam, Seamus, and Big Z were the votes to keep me. And my feelings on this whole tribe has really shifted in the last two days. During that tie, my focus was just getting the four votes, I didn't have time to think about my future in the game, or who I could really trust, all that mattered was the votes. And the moment that tribal ended, I was able to assess everything, and I guess this is the easiest way to lay out my opinions on everything / everyone.

Marty & Damien: Never trusted, and probably never will trust either of them. Couldn't care less which one goes first, as long as they're gone ASAP. Damien has apparently been going on a rampage trying to figure out who voted to keep me that was supposed to be on his side (it was Big Z), and both his and Marty's positions in the game are starting to be damaged, I believe.

Seamus: I honestly don't trust him at all. Him trying to "save me" was more of him just wanting things to go his way rather than wanting to actually save me, considering to my knowledge he was the one who pushed for it to tie between Lexi and I in the first place. (And regardless of if that's true or not, he still voted with them) My hope is that all his focus and Damien's focus is on each other, if that's the case we could end up voting together this tribal, but that doesn't mean I trust him whatsoever.

Vincent: I don't think Vincent has real loyalty to anyone. He originally voted Marty along with the rest of us, but from what I hear the moment results came out he was on some "I would have voted with you guys if I was told" to Damien & friends. And then proceeds to vote me out in the revote after agreeing to keep me. So I think he's pretty much just a floater, someone who floats from side to side wherever the majority is. It's annoying bc Pory believes for some reason, and has since start of merge that Vincent is a legitimate ally and he always includes him in everything, literally every new alliance chat he makes that he doesn't even confirm with me if I agree to.

Jp: I'm kind of just at a loss for words on him, he was at least honest with me about the vote, according to Big Z he's "alone" in the game. I don't know how much I believe that but at the same time I don't know where he stands with anything. I'm sure more updates are soon to come though.

Lexi: See, I think I have Lexi on my side. I feel like we'll continue to be voting together, I have faith in her, but as far as working with her? She's been like so socially invisible lately. It's literally the major REASON Big Z voted to keep me over her is that he simply cannot work with her, she doesn't say more than two words to him and nowadays when I talk to her she replies with one word. I feel like she's busy irl, which is fine but she isn't someone I can see myself doing real damage with in the game anymore.

Liam: Speaking of socially invisible, Liam is by far the most invisible person in the game. And ngl, I'm jealous of his position in a way, but at the same time this goes into what I said about Lexi, though we might be voting together, and I have faith he will vote alongside me, he just isn't someone I can actually work with and get things done with. He doesn't talk to me unless I talk to him and our conversations consist of me filling him in on plans (just trying to reconfirm things pretty much,) And him agreeing with everything I say. The good thing is, unlike Vincent, Liam has been consistent on who he votes with in the game, as of now at least.

Pory: Okay, so Pory voted to keep me, he did. And I'm thankful for it. But he almost didn't And I really do mean it, his vote to keep me was hanging on a thread and by the hands of Jesus himself, Drew and I got him to change his mind with only 10 minutes left to vote... In the final hours of the vote when it started circulating that Vincent doesn't think we have the votes, and he decided to not vote to keep me, Pory almost followed suit, even though he KNEW of Drew's plan to force rocks, and it wouldn't have effected him considering he was immune. He just didn't want to vote in minority... So there's that. Anyways, Pory is the most indecisive person in the game, his judgement is also the WORST. He did not at ALL believe that I could actually get Big Z's vote. He has never even considered for Z to have any chance of wavering from "the other side". How would he know? He doesn't talk to Z. Not even just Z, Pory doesn't talk to ANYONE. I doubt everything he says, because his judgement on people can't be taken seriously when he replies to every message with one word. It drives Z up the wall and it probably annoys me even more. I can't even keep track of the amount of alliance chats he has made with different people but I guess again, we'll probably be voting together for a bit.

Big Z: With Drew gone, Z is the only person who I can legitimately work with and progress through this game with. We've been talking more than ever in the past few days and he's exactly the thing I need to make progress in the game. He agrees that despite himself being on good terms with some people, I'm the only one who he can truly work with, since we can actually communicate with each other, and it's a mutual feeling. He doesn't mind taking out Damien, or Seamus, or Marty for that matter. I don't think he's tightly tied with anyone else in this game, but he does get information from people that I don't, which is going to be helpful for sure.

I suck at this immunity, and recent update is that the idol has been found, and according to Seamus he only found the location and it had already been found...Regardless of if it's him or not, this will effect tribal somehow.

"jigme"

- so drew left which is bleh but whatever. he rocked himself out. then i tried to become the middle by being alligned with vincent/pory/liam/tyler and then the others. damien i lowkey called out in the tribe chat and he isnt happy but yah. i thought we could easily flip on damien this round but apparently pory is after me accoriding to vincent? so yah idk. i might need to try and kill pory this round in order to survive grr

Day 24
"jigme"

- Example of Pory having bad judgement and being the worst: As I already predicted, he couldn't actually trust Vincent, and after being added to 4 (I've lost track at this point) alliance chats, Vincent ran back to Seamus to tell him that there was an alliance made to blindside him. When Seamus approached me about this I looked like booboo the fool bc I was so unprepared and didn't even know what to tell him, probably made me look really bad. He then told me without saying names that mine and Pory's names have already been thrown out. I checked with Z about this and it's coming from the Marty, Damien, Jp, Z and Seamus which I had a feeling must exist obviously. Z also told me that the whole Damien vs Seamus thing isn't really a thing, which I also kind of figured but it's nice to have it confirmed.

The good news is this. I do believe Z has been being real with me for the most part. Even if I'm not sure if I can trust him, I have no choice at this point, I think Z can do his best to push that group to vote Pory and prevent them from trying to go for me.

But idk! I made myself look pretty bad to Seamus and the thing about Pory is that he's just sooo cracked and horrible that if they're actually smart they'll vote me out over him lmao.

Tomorrow is probably gonna be a mess and I'm in no type of mood for it, at this point I don't care who goes as long as it's not me. As much as I want certain people out, if it has to be Pory I'll write his name down so fast lmao

"jigme"

- Good Christ has everything gone to shit. What should have been a simple Damien vs Seamus vote has turned to shit because some asshole just had to leak the alliance to him. Now, I know Zach said *Vincent* leaked the alliance, which reeks of BS. Vincent's been with me the whole time and he even passed me the idol before the rock draw happened. There is 0 chance he betrayed me. Whatever. Issue is, in this new alliance of 6 of me-zach-tyler-liam-vincent-lexi, no one once said anything about Seamus. So either someone leaked the core 5 (No Big Z) or Seamus just assumed. The other issue is Why only leak the alliance of 6? Either way there's something up here. And whatever it is, I'm going to get to the bottom of it. Especially with Lexi telling me Seamus is throwing my name out there now. Whatever, they haven't seen me with my back against the wall. When I'm pushed against the wall I'm the scariest fucking player they will ever see. Whoever underestimated me in the past is going to wish they took me out sooner. I'm going to rip Seamus into two tonight. Most likely, I'm going to ask Vincent for the idol, play it on myself, see who votes for me and who doesn't. Besides, still a small chance Seamus has the Lhoste idol anyways. Like this guy won't see what hit him until he sees "Pory. Does not count" appear however many times. I don't care. I'm going to take his bitch ass and execute him on the spot. This is my first time playing any of the big three, and I'm not going to sit back and let fate come to me. I am fate now, and he cannot run from Fate. No one simply runs from Fate. And his fate is to die a brutal death tonight. He will go, and he will regret ever fucking messing with me. And now with my new alliance of Me Vincent Marty Zach we can run this show. And ofc I still have Lexi in my pocket. No one is going to fucking stop me. I had one of my best premerges if not THE best premerge I have ever had this game, and I am not going to let that make me get too cocky. Did I overplay? Maybe. Do I care? No. I'm going to slaughter everyone who gets in my way, 1 by 1. So Seamus better check his 6 because tonight is his time to die.

"jigme"

- me: hey did pory come to u about blindsiding me this round

tyler: no? ill double check but i think i would remeber that

me: yah just double check and let me know

tyler: yah he never did, i checked

me: so tyler, you are telling me pory did not add you to a chat with 4 others and the first thing he said was "let's blindside seamus"?

tyler: okay actually he did im so soryy 😞

tyler i swear to god if i go home bc of u

"jigme"

- This vote is becoming messy once again. People are apparently spreading so many rumours out of paranoia it's throwing every ounce of trust in the air, and it's just so unsettling to watch. It's only the final 10, and I just wanna kinda slip under the radar for another two or three tribals before stuff like this happens, because I'm so apprehensive of getting involved and it backfiring for virtually no reason. It's difficult to pick a side too because I'm literally clueless as to what the sides are right now, despite the hundreds of alliance chats. Ugh, saying I'm stressed right now is an understatement.

"jigme"

- So yeah Vincent is a fucking crackhead lol. God damnit man, I just wanted final 2 with you, and now you go around snaking me and shit. You can't just give me a fake idol after you give me a real one and then expect me to believe your shit. But whatever, everything will come into place. I'm rallying Liam-Tyler-Lexi-Zach-Me right now and potentially Marty and we're gonna RKO the fuck out of Damien or JP. Point is, when my back is already against the wall, don't fuck with me or you're gonna get fucked sideways to Sunday. Sadly, Vincent over here doesn't know that, and now him and his pathetic alliance will die. One. By. One. I don't give a shit. It is time for fucking revenge. All 4 of them will go. I'm probably getting votes tonight, but whatever. I don't give a fuck. I'm living. They can try and strike me down all they want but they don't have a shot in hell. I'm going to survive this, and I'm going to send a message to all of them this will not stand. No one tries to fuck me over and lives.

"jigme"

- I've never played with someone as crazy as Pory. I woke up to being in 3 new chats. With the same people, some shifted in and out of each. And I don't even feel like covering all the nonsense he was going on about because it's irrelevant at this point. He thinks Vincent has the idol and spent the whole day having breakdowns about it. The kid is nuts, and I don't even care if he's a vote for my favor, I want him out just because I don't want to deal with the headache anymore. There's also no telling he'll remain with me when he changes his mind every 5 minutes. He even tried to include Marty in one of them. Could you imagine a conversation between the two of them, the two blandest people in the tribe who respond to everything with no less than a sentence?

Pory: hi

Marty: hey

Pory: let's vote seamus

Marty: ok

Pory: adding you to a chat.. no 2 chats. Maybe 3

Marty: ok

Like I can't. If he somehow gets saved by an idol tonight I won't even care because at least that's rid of an idol, and I don't even care if Seamus goes. Pory still being here will be annoying sure, but no one takes him seriously at this point and he just isn't very threatening moving forward. Lexi is the only one I believe who still thinks Seamus is the vote, so uh that's something.

I've had a revelation. If I survive tonight, which unless some goofy shit happens it looks like I will, I'm going to try to start fading into the background somewhat. I'm no longer worried or concerned with who all I can trust and where numbers are, because honestly with this group of people there's no consistency and things change every hour. All I need is ONE ally who I can trust (to the necessary extent) and use to get information from, plan things with, and just pretty much survive with and that right now is Big Z. If I become a target by the mayonnaise mafia, (Marty, Damien, Seamus, Jp, any of them), Z can steer my name out of danger. (I think and I hope) But yeah, alliance chats, big groups of majorities, don't matter in this season at this stage in the game. Numbers matter for votes but I don't believe I'll ever be in any type of solid group of people who have unwavering loyalty to each other, it just doesn't look like a feasible situation.

Anyways that's all I've got at the moment, really hope I survive this one.

"jigme"

- Well in typical Pory fashion I manage to survive something I have no right to. This entire vote I have compleeeetely overplayed but yet here comes motherfucking Marty waltzing down the beach being like "hey, why don't we boot Tyler instead". Wut. But yeah, it saves me from certain doom, so whatever. We have 6 people (Me Vincent Lexi Marty Damien JP) all voting for Tyler, so this should work. I'm praying to God it does, but who knows. This could be the end right here. If it is, it's been a blast, but I have confidence I'll live.

"jigme"

- Of COURSE with 15 minutes left to vote Damien sends me this

"OK so if you have an Idol play it on yourself the vote is 6-4 against you from what i heard and i will not flip to force the tie because i don't think that it worth it for me."

W H Y. Honestly if it's true I am just relieved to no longer have to deal with the HEADACHE that are all of these people. I literally cannot stand any one of them but Big Z.