Board Thread:Survivor 24: Caracol/@comment-24207263-20170513163857/@comment-7317707-20170514090613

Ok so after last tribal I have a lot of hostility and agression against you people! Two people who I considered to be decent people stabbed my friend in the back for no reason, and overall everyone else has just been fucking annoying this entire season with their shitty and pointlessly messy gameplay. I'm so glad that I have an outlet to take it out on you all because honestly y'all suck! :)

First up is Roodman because you've just made it oh-so easy for me. You made the classic mistake of taking a picture of his hand without clipping your fingernails first! And frankly... it's fucking disgusting! But hey, if you wanted them to look like a 40 year old female crack whore's nails, you've got them looking right baby! Frankly, I don't know what's less appealing, your nails or your obnoxious personality.

Your personality, you ask? Well let's take a look at yourplayer profile here on the 703 org network! For your, "Three Words to Describe me", you list this;  Nicomachean, Recombinant, Cartesian. For those of you wondering what ANY of that means, let me sum it up for you in one word: PRETENTIOUS. Hardly anyone knows what the FUCK your stupid 3 words mean without googling it (which I did, and the actual definitions are stupid and even more pretentious than I fucking expected.... which is saying something). Next time, please just say you're fun or adventurous. It makes you seem like less of a pretentious ass hat (let the players figure that out for themselves after they talk to you for five minutes... It becomes extremely apparent). Oh, and for someone who uses such big words to descrbe himself, you couldn't think of any roasts for me besides overused puns about my name? Kids in my 6th grade class came up with better shit than the weak ass insults you tried to throw my way.

Now there's Hunter. At the beginning of this season I learned that Hunter is secretly a 4 year old boy. He's definitely not a high schooler like he claims to be. Why? Well I've never met a teenager that throws a tempertantrum after someone messages them at 12:30 AM. Oh I'm sorry Hunter, did I try and say hi after you wanted to go night-night? I'll make sure to read you a bedtime story and turn your fucking night light on next time. Do you need a glass of water to wash down the saltiness you felt after I booted Zach out of this game? If you can't fall asleep, try counting sheep. Start by imagining the players left in this game besides us.

Also, unrelated question but, is your back sore? I would imagine it would be worn out after carrying Roodman on it throughout this entire season!

Now it's Annabelle's turn. Hey Annabelle, did you know that just because you repeat the phrase "I am not a rat." over and over again, it doesn't mean that you aren't one? If you squeak like a rat and act like a rat, YOU ARE A RAT. Actions speak louder than words, and you definitely proved your vermin status when you turned on Christine! Leaving a solid alliance to go join the trash, gross, meninist duo of Caracol (cry baby Hunter and his minion)? Typical rat behavior tbh. Don't claim to be loyal, honest and upfront when you're literally ANYTHING but that.

Finally, we have Luis. To start your roast, I almost wanted to quote the legendary Miss Britney Spears by saying "Suck my toe!" Unfortunately, I remembered that you would really like to do something that. When you told me you had a foot fetish I almost wanted to throw up! Sadly that's not even the weirdest thing to come out of your mouth during the time here at Rosa Mai. See, you doesn't know how to shut up. You're constantly messaging me and desperately trying to act iconic, but frankly I find almost everything you says to be stupid and boring. From being paranoid about literally everything to making dumb jokes that I just say "LMAO" to because they're not actually funny, you never shut the fuck up. You also never makes a game move that makes any sense but more on that later. For now let's count the number of players you've stabbed in the back!

 Dwayne vote- Dwayne

Zach vote- Zach, Hunter, Roodman, Annabelle

Thiru vote- Lori, Thiru

Christine Vote- Christine and me

Would you look at that, you've betrayed literally EVERYONE who has made the merge besides Kristen (who self imploded before you had the opportunity). Let's face it people, all you have to do is tell Luis, "I feel like you should flip" and he'll do it. He thinks he's the leader, the mover and shaker, the badass boss bitch around here, but in reality he's just a sad little follower that'll do anything for anyone who whispers sweet little nothings into his ear. Although at this point there's almost no chance the bitch will make final tribal because of his erratic gameplay, I sincerly hope he does so that the jury has a chance to publicly expose him for how stupid his moves were. Violently flip flopping back and forth between players like a dying fish is NOT strategy, it's being easily manipulated. Stabbing a loyal allies in the back arent BIG MOVEZ!, it's just you being a spastic idiot.

P.S. You talk about being such a queenie yet your face looks like it's covered in greasy pubes LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

P.P.S. Don't think I didn't notice how you literally stole the Tiffany Pollard joke about me from a Chris VL from Sri Lanka then think again. Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things though? No, you ripped off most of your cringey, forced "roast" from Roodman's anyways (If you're going to go that route, please at least pick a good one).

To close out, I feel the need to mention the fact that I'm apparently the only person who isn't totally up someone else's ass. Lori and Roodman have made a home up in Hunter's anal cavity and I don't see Annabell coming out of Luis's butt crack anytime soon. Where's Luis at? Oh, check whoever was the last person to put up with his vapid, neverending chatter about nothing meanful in particular (similar to his meaningless life of having no friends besides the fake ones he made here in Caracol that won't talk to him once this season is over).



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<p style="font-weight:normal;">Oh shit I just realized I forgot to roast you Lori..... Goes to show how irrelevant you've been this season! (Maybe put in some effort into the challenges/talking to people/having a game at all and I'll actually bother to put in some effort into roasting you!)