Throw A Bitch Off His High Horse/Confessionals

Day 11
"kappolla"

- It’s been a bit since I’ve done one of these, huh?

Anyways, I can’t remember at all if I made a confessional since the swap, but if I didn’t, I’m just going to say that this swap worked out perfectly. It’s a bunch of team players who are social and a primary conflict that takes me out of the action but also doesn’t force me to make any decisions. Helps that we’re pretty good at challenges, too. I’ve worked a lot on bonding with Conch because he was one of my first picks and also someone who I trust a lot. Magnus and Mason I should talk with more but I’m not really doing well in that regard. Nick I am going to try to dm more but it’s not a priority of mine since he isn’t my plan to dm. Hopefully I can just make him comfortable enough that he doesn’t play an idol, if he finds one. Besides that, nothing to report on. Magnus has given us the first 2 numbers for the idol and I’m working hard on trying to find the solution. However, if I am the first to find it, I’m gonna make it seem like someone found it before me, and it’s a universal idol so it’s on another tribe. No idea how many idols there are but I’d like for there to be one, just so our continued winning could lead to an eventual idol on our side.

"kappolla"

- I found the idol! I found the idol! Oh my god I actually found the idol

"dumbripi"

- Still no luck with my idol search. I tried doing numbers that mean something – like, it’s the 46th season of 703 Survivor, there were 16 contestants and what have you. I even zoomed in on the idol clue parchment picture I have, looking for any small text of numbers on it. Didn’t find anything (I seriously hope I didn’t miss them on the zoom or anything). Didn’t help. And I’m kinda out of ideas for something logical, so for now I’m just trying to rng brute force it, until I get an epiphany of a brilliant idea as a key to the numbers.

I do plan to tell Kamen and Conch about my idol. Eventually. Or rather, once I have the idol rather than just an idol clue. I feel that if I told them I had a clue, as the time goes, they could get paranoid about me actually getting the idol when I won’t have done it yet. Watching on TV, this game is absolutely full with paranoia. I know at the very least I am. Especially having just experienced all kinds of gameplays related to me in the previous org, I can easily get into semi-existential concerning state of thinking I shouldn’t trust people at all and then still putting my full trust in them cause they seem genuine and that’s the kind of person I am. That actually may bring some longer term damage, so would need to monitor it, probably. I do miss Conch. Really looking forward to getting back together, with both them and Tal, but especially Conch. It feels relatively lonely in this tribe – not because of people being mean or dismissive, it’s just there’s naturally more silence. Also, I’m once again in a position where I initiate conversations with people more than they do me. I think we’re about equal with Kamen though – usually it’s just quite fluid and more or less equal, so that’s nice.

"kappolla"

- RIP Tal. He was the 5th member of my daft punk alliance, but honestly? I don’t really care that he’s gone. We never talked 1 on 1, and Kamen and I only brought him into the alliance to make Catnip happy, since they got on well and we wanted to bring in Jason, who she didn’t talk with at all. Catnip’s probably pissed, but that’s fine. The less people she trusts in the game besides me the better

Day 12
"kappolla"

- The game has been pretty slow recently, mainly because my tribe is doing well and there's no need to strategize and be constantly active. It's nice, because I am in a bit of a busy spot in college right now.

Rip Brady. Omg I should start eulogizing everybody that goes lol. Not much to say about Brady except he seemed nice but needs to learn how to become active and respond to his messages if he wants to be successful in ORGs. Everything seems cool in my tribe. Nick still has not responded to my DM from February 22 and I don't feel like caring until he responds. This challenge is fun, I've definitely done KenKen puzzles in the past but they were like a 9x9 grid and not a 5x5 so I think my time was decent considering I first had to recreate it on paper (a place to work on) and then write my answers on Paint and then upload again. I'll just have to see how I do compared to those who did the same puzzle on the other tribes, so maybe I'll be in for some humbling lmao. I don't think I ever said anything about Tal being voted off. I'm glad he was, because that puts Logan and Nat in a pretty good position unless they go rogue and vote for each other. I don't know if I'd rather see Gavin or Morgan go, but probably Morgan because he's a returnee. I'm hoping the Dumb tribe loses because Ngauu has all active people (or at least people who talked to me). Kamen rules though so if they lose don't vote him off.

"dumbripi"

- Still no luck with the idol. Because the clue referred being the last one picked, I wonder if the idea of the idol is gonna be to say the numbers are not present, whatever I guess, until I get to the last three numbers, and those are gonna be it. If not, then at least an interesting idea to my org hosting idea list. If I do think in theory about brute forcing and guessing it till the very last bit, it would take about 17 days to get to it, which is actually quite reasonable, if intended to be earned early and used in later game. Hopefully I don’t need to go that far >_<

The challenge was various puzzles. I very much volunteered for nonograms, cause I have done a fair bit of them irl – I do love Japanese crosswords, though my favourites are kakuro. The thing is, gosh that was a fucking hard nonogram :O I got only 2-3 ‘clues’ properly and needed to do guesswork on the rest. Seems it was the correct choice to go with the bottom row, but another thing aggravating me is that I did have the correct option of that last row at some point, but the further solution didn’t pan out, so I dismissed it as incorrect, and when I ended up trying it again, it fit… ARGH. And then I had two potentially valid solutions – which overall in nonograms can happen (rarely, but nothing suspicious aside from the usual paranoia about it), but considering that it too me about 80 FUCKING MINUTES to solve it, I don’t even know what’s gonna happen. I claimed and almost bragged that I was good at nonograms (and I still think I am), and then I do so poorly… I am seriously upset with myself. I still have some hope that it was truly that hard and thus I may be the only one with the correct answer or at the very least that it was indeed correct and I’d get at least 1 point. I would feel so horrible to fuck things up for my team like that, not to mention how much in danger I would feel…. ARGH…..

"kappolla"

- What’s this.... Me, making active confessionals! Unthinkable!

Anyways, this challenge could not have gone better. Since the idol for our tribe has been found (which I’ll get into later) I just wanted to focus on getting immunity, which we did by a wide margin. It might be wider if Magnus nails the Nonogram. Anyways, idol shit. The way Conch has talked to me and the new clue we have all points to the idea that Conch is telling the truth that he did find the idol clue, but the fact that it was previously found remains to be confirmed. I’ll find out in a few hours once I can guess. My main worry is that Nick got it which Mason completely dismissed due to how inactive he’s been. I’m really glad that Mason is here because he wants Nick gone so fucking badly, but at this point I’d be willing to split onto him just to make sure that Nick doesn’t play an idol and get someone important out. Besides that, things are going good. I solidified my relationship a bit more with Mason, and tomorrow I’m going to work on Magnus, and to a lesser extent Nick. If Nick keeps up his challenge strength I feel like Mason might be a better boot. To be honest it really depends on if Logan-Nat holds strong this challenge (because let’s be honest- Nat is not going to finish the Nonogram) if something happens I’d probably be willing to boot Mason, especially if it’s Nat.

"kappolla"

- Wow there's a lot to say today so I'll probably just send in two different confessionals (and honestly I don't remember if I talked about one of these things already so if I repeat myself oh well)

Sometime yesterday, Conch told the tribe that the idol has been found. They shared the numbers, and I confirmed in my confessional channel that the idol has indeed been found. Who has it? I'm almost convinced Conch has it. On the Kapolla tribe channel on March 1, Conch told us "I just guessed 45, 46, and 47. Thought it might be somewhere around our season number, but no luck." which means they were searching through the 40s. The fact that they are trying to pin it on somebody else is a bad move. Should have said nothing. In my opinion, they can go before Nick because that's sleazy. I would be absolutely shocked if anybody else had it, actually. It was fairly smart to say in general where they searched but not 43 exactly, but it was so easy to get caught. Speaking of this idol search, why did the others dick around and share the first two numbers? Come on, does everybody really think we'll be together the whole game? They all called it a tribe effort but as to who actually has it, it's a big mystery. I'll continue to play along with this Kapolla strong stuff, because we are a genuinely strong tribe and we get along well, but I'm already gonna be planning Conch's ouster. Basically I'm Detective Dean becoming the DK Villain but replace it with my name. Call me Monitor Mason becoming M(last initial) Villain.

"kappolla"

- My other thought today relates to Andrew. He dm'ed me today with this idea that we send Eamonn the idol numbers so that Dumb tribe can throw the challenge and idol out Catnip of all people. He's worried that Ngau'u is on a losing streak, and for some reason he wants to keep Gavin in the game. Not sure if he's assuming they lose two more challenges and lose Morgan and Gavin or if he's assuming Gavin will go next, but the point stands that for some reason Gavin is important to him. I don't want to yell at Andrew about it, but there's so much wrong in this. I can see the pros in that if Ngau'u is preserved, there may be a somewhat higher chance that Gavin stays with us if we are together on a tribe in the future, and if the idols aren't rehidden it would be nice to know Eamonn has it. There's a lot more uncertainty that Andrew's overlooking. What if Eamonn's in a better spot now? What if Eamonn keeps the idol and doesn't throw the challenge? What if the idol numbers are different on each tribe? And if you're comparing yourself to JT, what if that idol is used to vote you out in the future? That would be a really unfortunate ending and I would be a very embarrassed while on Trial of Tribulation island.

For now, I'll just hope the hosts don't allow this cross-tribe communication and if Andrew can confirm it's allowed, I'll tell him it's a horrible idea. So, recap of my last two confessionals, Conch has severed my trust in them, and Andrew might be a loose cannon.

"dumbripi"

- First Off I want to apologize for lack of confessionals up to this point 😅 Had a stressful week at school, so I sorta forgot about these lately.

Anyways, here is a short summary of what I have been up to. Right off the back I formed an alliance with those who I recognized from previous games, Magnus, Jason, and Cole, with another alliance excluding Magnus. Meanwhile, back in anarchy I really bonded well with Conch and Catnip where we formed an alliance simply named "e" by host AJ 😳 Thing is, I promised undying loyalty to them and they have no clue about majority of my previous games and my previous relationships with Jason Cole and Magnus. I wanted to keep my former relationships, especially with Jason, a secret as Jason and I go way back (like to last March, but whatever I still love the guy). I did this as I want both new and old relationships as options for later in the game. I want them to bring me to the end but when the choice comes to who do I ultimately go with, I will choose who I believe I can win over. Relationships with people I can connect with are what matter more to me and anything else, and although I know someone is going to get mad for cutting them when I eventually do, I can say that I never made false promises as I had to choose between all of my allies all at once and I had to do what is best for my game. Anyways, I have no idea if I will get to that point, but I need to make sure my social game is strong enough to make sure things don't overlap or things look sus if I say one thing and do another. I want to be that secret controller that people connect with as "they are too sweet to do such a thing" I dread the feeling of cutting an ally down the line, but it must be done and I will do it when I see necessary.

"dumbripi"

- Part 2 of confessionals

Now that we have been on tribes, things are wayyyy too tight now. I mean I love being on a tribe of people I have connected with very well, but there is only room to fail once and take out Eammon who Jason chose as an "easy vote". I really don't want to have to lose more than once and choose between allies this soon. Catnip is absolutely amazing, our vibes fit well and out conversations flow purrrfectly (haha pun), but the only downside to her is that I absolutely know she will destroy me in any competition down the line. I suck at challenges and that has always been a struggle when it comes to trying to get somewhat of a resume to win. So she might have to go sooner if my heart and emotional connection with her will allow for that to happen. Luckily Jason wouldn't leave this group whatsoever since I did end up getting my alliances to somewhat mix by getting Jason Catnip and Conch along with Tal (who Conch and Catnip bonded with and I know from co-hosting his org with him). That was back in Anarchy though and Catnip has no idea how close I am with Cole and Jason as a trio. Cole is an interesting person, our conversations have trouble flowing but knowing him from previous games I just know he will be undyingly loyal to who he is loyal to (like I legit broke a FTC tie and game him his first org win before, so I feel like he will stick close to me for now.) So I just hope hope hope I never have to choose this early, I just need to keep winning until a merge or another tribe swap.

"kappolla"

- I think my plan to convince my tribe that I don't have the idol worked (smash cut to me getting voted off unanimously, Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays, title card: Conch is a big dumb idiot). But in all seriousness, I think my tribe underestimates me, and I couldn't be happier. Andrew's already messaging me speculating that Nick has the idol, which is perfect, because that's who I wanted to vote out anyway. As long as I don't lose this challenge for us, I'm cautiously optimistic about my chances in this game.

Day 13
"ngauu"

- We have to go to tribal. Again. This just blows. I knew I could never do a slide puzzle, so of course that was the option nobody took. I am campainging for Nat to go. I really like them, but they have never done well physically, whereas Morgan has. Hopefully it will be a clean sweep and Nat will be launched to the tree.

"kappolla"

- I’m about ready to jump ship. I have no clue where my game is going and I guess I’ll find out soon, but right now I cannot keep going in this direction

You see, today’s challenge really made me realize that the other people in Robyn Zavala Appreciation care like, way more about the alliance than I thought. I mean I knew that all 4 of us were loyal to the group but I assumed that it wouldn’t be to the point of complete social suicide. This was a very obvious challenge throw and while it might be cleverly disguised it’s really just my hands away from giving away the entire thing. Logan I never really understood his draft in. Yes, I got that he wanted allies at the forefront, but Nat wasn’t much of a competitor and Gavin is sorta mid-tier, while on my tribe besides Mason everyone knocks it out of there park in challenges. I think I got it now. I never noticed, but the other 2 on the tribe outside of his allies were 2 of the 3 returnees. I feel like that was a good play since those returnees were good at challenges but they could also play off the alliance as just an anti-returnee coalition. But the throw made things far worse. What are they afraid of so badly that caused them to throw? An idol? I hope so. If Morgan idols out Nat that would be such a fucking sight to see and I’d love it. Helps that he’s probably instantly going home. But I can’t make any other good reason. I’m in a good position with people who I told the alliance I trusted, in a powerful tribe, and the other tribe has zero people who actually matter to them. If they seriously threw over Nat’s weird obsession with Eamonn I am going to scream. But aside from that, I feel like now I should really make an alliance. Conch will be my first person to contact and hopefully he’ll suggest Magnus. 3 people seems to be nice, but I’ll maintain contact with Mason just to prevent a flip. I don’t think that he’s just believe that I would make an alliance without him considering how gung ho the rest of the SFW/Robyn Zavala Appreciation (fuck it, I’m calling the alliance RZA from now on. Has a nice ring to it) has been without seriously evidence, which I’m not going to tell anyone until the time is right. Probably when I get voted out and get sent to Redemple Temple Tree Edition but that’s besides the point. Anyways, next episode will be a real crossroad for my game. This entire time I’ve mostly just survived on being good enough, but now I’m going to try to be truly great.

"ngauu"

- Nat sucks at these challenges and if we didn’t need to win one so bad, I wouldn’t be voting him tonight. But he can’t do Jackshit and as much as I like him as a friend, I can’t keep losing.