Board Thread:Survivor: Skye Islands (Season 12)/@comment-24086799-20151016025133/@comment-25270574-20151016175006

Hey Perry! Sorry I didn't answer this last night but it was almost 3am and my thoughts usually tend to fall apart after that time so I didn't think answering at that time would be good if I wanted to do justice to your speech. My numbers were 153874.

I definitely understand why you'd have some issues with me, and I'm glad you raised the concerns that you did because I think it gives me a better chance to touch a little more on things that I haven't already talked about in good depth.

Your first concern with me was that you felt I was inactive for most of the premerge stage, and that elements of it are very weak. I agree with aspects of this and i disagree with aspects of this. The Premerge stage was when I was still in Generations, and it was also the same time that I was moving into my own place 8 hours away from my home. There was a solid week where the only furniture I had in my room was my bed. Getting my real life together meant that I wasn't as involved in either Generations nor Skye Islands as much as I wished to be at that stage. In the first vote, I couldn't compete in the challenge really because real life was getting in the way and it was something I couldn't avoid. I disagree that it meant I was inactive, because I made sure to explain this to the tribe many times before I left, and it seemed like everybody was understanding that I had to do what I had to do. I still cast a vote at the tribal in advance, and only Aaron voted against me. The second time we went to tribal is the time I did not submit (I don't remember not submitting again at any point because that was not a pleasant time for me and I felt so dumb but if it happened again and I don't remember then I apologize). I avoided tribal council and when I came back, it seemed like there had been a shift in everyone's attitudes towards me. If I said that nobody was talking to me, I think that was poor wording on my part. I was still talking to Szymon, who filled me in on everything that happened while I was gone and was freaking out about the possibility that he could be next. I was still talking to Luke about our real lives. I was still talking to other people. What I meant when I said nobody was really talking to me was that in those conversations, there was a definite change in what our conversations were about or how they were being structured. There was little talk about game between me and the others at this point and that was a big difference from the talks I was having before I was kidnapped. You were the one who didn't change how you spoke to me, and I think because of the paranoia that the shift in the style and content of my conversations with others had infused into me, I probably did tell you that nobody was talking to me. I don't consider myself to be inactive, I do understand where that could come from, but I feel like whenever I wasn't busy with real life, I was on facebook keeping up with the game. Things eventually settled down, I was voted out of Generations, and I think that my game grew stronger after that.

Your second issue is that my crowning or defining moment in this game comes from the failed vote to take you out. And yes, when I voted for you the first time it did not succeed in taking you out of the game. I can't argue that i didn't go "ah fuck it I'm voting Perry" because I'm pretty sure I actually do say those words in a video confessional I made, but I definitely didn't vote on a whim. I knew with that vote, I was making a decision on how I wanted to proceed with the rest of the game. If I voted Sam, I would be sticking with New Torrin, and the concerns I had about this (which I told you about afterwards) was that I didn't feel like I was an important part of our side. I felt like the extra vote that you guys would use until you didn't need me, and then get rid of me once you could go on without me. If I went to the other side, I knew I faced a similar situation, but I also felt I had more opportunity to move up and out of that position, which I think I did end up accomplishing. To be honest, I think that the fact that you did not go home when I voted for you the first time is something that contributes to my success later in the game. Since you did not go home, the New Kilbride's saw that I had tried to make a stand, it failed, and now I was likely going to be targeted by all of you. They were down in numbers going into the merge. I was the perfect person to use in that situation because as far as they were concerned, I didn't have the option of switching back to New Torrin at any time in the near future. They felt  I would always be willing to vote you out Now, let's say you did go home that round. I don't think that New Kilbride would've welcomed me with open arms. They probably instead would've approached Wes, and then try do use me maybe as an additional vote for one or two rounds before discarding me. So in retrospect, that vote was the ultimate gamble for me because the only true way I could've had that work to my favour was by voting for you and having you stay in the game. I failed to take you out, but I succeeded in bettering my position in the game because it failed.

Your third issue with me is the one I was definitely expecting. I lied to you before I voted you out the second time. I want to run through my thought process at this point with you, maybe so that you understand that I didn't mean to do it in a "muahahaha i'm the master of deception let's rip Perry apart" kind of way, but more in a "Tyler you got yourself in a pickle" kind of way. The round before I told you that I was going to use your vote in that round to decide whether I could trust you. You voted for Alex instead of me, and i immediately thought that meant I could trust you. It lined up with everything you had said to me. In the heat of the moment I told you that I wanted to target Nuno now and that that I would not write your name down, and started trying to help you get the target off your own back. However, a couple of days later I learn that even though you didn't vote me out, you were fine if the people who did were able to get the numbers to take me out themselves. Hearing this made me think more critically of the last vote. That group was expecting Szymon to vote with them against me, which would've made the vote 6-5-1-1, with Zane still leaving. You had been really pushing for me to vote for Alex for the entirety of that round. If I had, the vote would've then been 5 for me, 4 for Zane, 3 for Alex and 1 for Evan, and I wouldve gone home. because of that logic, I realized that it was possible that you were just hoping to take me out in a way that meant I would go, but you wouldn't have to break your word to me. It was dangerous, and I felt that I couldn't let you stay in the game any longer if I wanted to make it to the end. I had still told you that I wasn't going to vote for you, and that the vote was for Nuno. I don't think I was the only one going along and saying that Nuno would go, but I understand why I might stand out as the most deceptive. I didn't have lack of foresight, I knew exactly what the possible consequences would be if I did vote you out at that tribal, and I acknowledged the fact that taking you out could cost me your vote at the end on the parchment itself (mine was the one with the gravestone on it). I knew what I was signing up for, but I think voting you out then was the best option I had. And I still think it was, seeing as Nuno didn't write my name down again after that.

In conclusion I understand why you may not want to vote for me here in the end. I'm up against two players who also have their merits that I not have. I think that if you do change your mind, vote for me because I took the calculated risks that put myself in the line of danger in order to advance myself in the game. My name was written down at about half of the tribal councils during the merge, and I survived each one because I spent each round figuring out how I needed to move forward. I turned on the majority New Torrin but managed to solidify myself into a good position on a majority New Kilbride side.

I'm relieved you aren't bitter about what happened, you were a great friend that I made in this game and that'll stay true after this game ends!