Board Thread:Survivor 22: San Marcos/@comment-27281906-20170208211451/@comment-27845097-20170209180207

I don't blame the jury for being mad at me, and criticizing my game because that's their job, and they're entitled to that. But to have someone actually recognize what I'm trying to say, and just give me such a nice, caring response means a lot, and reminds me why I signed up to play this game - to meet amazing people like you. So, from the bottom of my ice cold heart, thank you. I will cherish this speech, no matter what the outcome of this Final Tribal Council happens to be.

I also want to know what you believe your weaknesses are in the game and how you were able to overcome or remedy those challenges?

One of the most heavily debated topics at this Final Tribal Council so far has been control of these 'big moves'. I believe that I was insecure, and second gussed myself, and being paranoid only made it worse. This limited my ability to go out there and be a scheming force, cut deals on the side, etc. I was clouded by Austin and Nathaniel being threats at first, that I became eager to want to blindside them myself. However, I believe I overcame this by just stepping back, assessing the situation, and letting go. Please don't confuse this with being indifferent, and not caring, because I have poured my heart and soul into this game, but I let go of my own agenda because rolling with the punches was more convient, it was easier for me to rebound from whatever happened the round after, and there was no use getting hung up on an opportunity that had already passed (blindsiding them, etc). After Austin had left, I felt like I had lost some sort of control, although I still had awareness of it all, which I mantained until now. I was adaptable, I listened to others, and everyone came to me before any tribal council so I believe that letting go of that little amount of control ultimately led me to the end, whether the jury can recognize that or not.

'''Tell me an aspect of your game that you did better than both Nick and Nathaniel and explain why you did it better? '''

 I believe that both of their biggest weakness was that they had certain agendas and perhaps stuck to them a bit too long. Nathaniel was guns-a-blazin, and quickly became a threat, but he became so isolated that his only form of connection outside of what you would consider the "Catarina" alliance was Shea. Nathaniel's moves such as blindsiding Austin were only when he was approached by Chris/Claudia to do so, and other times I found myself saving him. As for Nick, his agenda more closely aligned with mine, however Nick would easily get annoyed by people like Nathaniel or Shea, or even earlier on Jenna, not that he was a bad social player, but I had to shake his head into the game sometimes, and keep him on the right track, because timing was crucial in this game, especially when "Catarina" entered Yaknad as underdogs.

Also some jury members believe that you and Nick played too similar of a game to differenciate between the two, so explain how you're game was seperate from, and better than Nick's?

 I've gone over a couple of reasons throughout various answers already, so I'm going to try and summarize them in one point, so I can hopefully provide a well rounded answer. First - Fluidity. I've talked about going with the flow, rolling with the punches, etc. People take this, or saying "UTR" as some cop-out, and that you're basically riding coattails, but I believe I did in a way that I rode the flow when it was more beneficial than disrupting it for no reason. For example, voting out you Brandon wasn't my ideal choice, but it was easier to go along with it, and I had more opportunity in the future to change that flow for myself to take out people I wanted according to factors like timing/strategy like Renz/Jenna. Secondly - Decisions. I believe that Nick and I made decisions as partners, but I believe I was more decisive, which was important because I'm sure as we all know, these tribals lasted up until the last minute. Votes were often flipped completely, and the panick never really stopped. I was the one that really made the effort to ensure Renz would go home, even though it's hard to credit anyone in that messy tribal. I also take credit for the Jenna decision, because we put whatever revenge we wanted on Nathaniel aside, and focused on making sure Chris/Claudia couldn't overtake the game come Finale. Finally, intuition and special fancy items. I think when Nick got the White Pearl, it acted as a shield for him, so if someone was trying to make an actual blindside move, it would've been smarter to aim to take someone like me out, so not only did I have to -lay low-, I practically had to camouflage into the forest. I built social relationships, and I can't say how much they kept me safe, but I do believe that I was able to read people better than Nick sometimes, even if they weren't giving me direct information, and was able to sense what was actually going on. Anyways, I think I had to be a bit more hyperaware of my surroundings because I was more vulnerable than Nick was.