Board Thread:Survivor 25: Resurrection/@comment-24808835-20170704150947

Here we go everyone!

First of all, I'd like to thank the hosts for giving me the opportunity to come out here and play again. It's been a wonderful experience, albeit stressful, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Definitely the most fun I've had in an ORG in a while.

Going into this game, I was a little nervous. I felt like it could go either way for me, especially with the initial tribe-forming twist. I had a good chunk of friends in the cast, as well as some people I wasn't terribly excited to see play again. What surprised me the most this season though was how many new people I got to meet and work with, and it was generally the people I knew prior that I worked with the least. I feel strongly that this experimentation is what best allowed me to get myself here, because I was able to put my friendships and outside relationships aside and really focus on what was going to get me further, which helped me develop a well-rounded game that I hope is worthy of your jury vote. Part 1: The Physical



It's no surprise that most people would value the physical aspect of the game the least. I know I do. However, especially near the end, I was pretty obviously frustrated at my lack of challenge wins. The thing is, I'm decent enough at challenges to not get booted premerge, but not strong enough to win countless individual immunities. I just wanted one challenge win, and by final five, my patience was wearing down. So when final four hit and I won the trials, I was pretty damn ecstatic, and when I won the final immunity challenge, I couldn't contain my excitement. I was able to win the two most important challenges of the game to not only get me here, but to put the two people I saw as some of the bigger competition in the game on the jury, and that helped shape my physical game up a lot more. None of the challenges leading up to those moments mattered as much as the ones that I won, and all it took was a little bit of patience and I was able to achieve what I wanted to in the physical portion.

Part 2: The Strategic



Strategically, I think I would most compare myself to Kass McQuillen. Most people would take that and feel uncomfortable, but I respect Kass very much and I think I took her game in Cagayan and tweaked it a bit for my own need. Just like Kass, there were times when I made very deep betrayals, and cut people who never would have thought I would do that until it happened (love you, Jenna). Often times, people criticized me for making those decisions. I was always told that I was being too paranoid, or that I was voting out the people that wanted to take me to the end. But even after I voted Jenna out, I still was able to form alliances, such as the shortlived coalition with George and Adrian I was able to pull together, or getting Aren on my side. I was even able to force a tie, which was pretty ballsy, and fought hard to get people to flip, even though it didn't work and ultimately decided to find a new way to squeeze my way here. And by the time I reached the final four, I felt as if every single one of those three had intentions of going to the end with me.

This isn't to say I didn't make strategic mistakes. Sometimes, my conscience did get the best of me. Yes, I did clue in Zak as to Charlie being voted out. Yes, I did get blindsided by George's boot. Even Jenna's blindside was intended to bring me closer to Zak and Charlie, which clearly didn't work how I planned given his initial reaction. However, I was able to recover from those small stumbles and make new opportunities out of the dust of failed moves, and in doing so I put myself in better positions than the last, and I feel like even with people constantly telling Kass she was going to fail, I too was able to make it to the top, taking it just a couple steps further than she did. Part 3: The Social



But unlike Kass, I was able to keep strong, positive relationships with people all the way to the end. Sure, Zak and I had plenty of discourse. But I was respectful to him and we had healthy conversation, and I always kept my options open. While I feel remorseful that some feelings were hurt about me voting certain people out, I do think that speaks well toward the social game I played, showing that I left people feeling that confident and comfortable with me.

Early on, I had my doubts socially. My closest ally, Ryan M., ended up being the first boot from Gallieni. Then Miguel, the person I was next closest to, got the target next, but got saved by an idol (thanks Nifty!). Even then, though, I was able to slip in with people and make them want to work with me. When we swapped, Felix spilled the beans on basically every alliance that excluded me over on the original Gallieni. While I appreciated the gesture, I definitely felt like I couldn't trust him with all of that baggage and helped lead the charge against him with Zak. Even then, though, I had made myself into someone that people depended on, and someone that people wanted to share valuable information with. There's two people I felt like I didn't let myself really connect with on their way out, which are Cali and Miguel. To you too, especially Miguel, who I was super close with early on, I'm sorry. Not talking to you as much as I wanted to was one of my major social shortcoming, if any others, and one of my only regrets leaving this game.

It's for these reasons I would compare myself socially to Kimmi Kappenberg. Doomed early on her first season due to maybe being a little too abrasive, she was able to transform herself into a motherly figure that without a technicality, probably would have made her a millionaire. In a similar fashion, I was booted early in Tokelau due to being seen as shady (as well as some other minor, relatively unrelated things), but in my return, I feel like I kept a level of poise and congeniality that I think some of my competitors missed. I was socially adept enough to be able to make bonds that planted the seeds for my strategic moments, and I think like Kimmi Kappenberg, I definitely deserve to win this game. I understand if there's hurt feelings toward me. I've made choices that left people unhappy, and I accept that and apologize. Ultimately, I've put people on the jury out of respect. It was never a matter of not liking someone for me, it was a matter of thinking they had a good enough shot at the end to win this game, and when you want to win the game as bad as I do, it's something you've gotta look out for. I eagerly await your questions and I can't wait to answer them. Thank you guys for reading this speech and for an incredible 39 days. 