Don't Worry, I'm Here/Confessionals

Day 22
"grande terre"

- I'll make a merge confessional later but why does everyone in this game either want to get in my pants or get me out of the game

"grande terre"

- MERGE

M E R G E

M E E E E E E R G E !

I legit did NOT think I'd make it so deep?? But holy shit here I am standing on the merge tribe mat all happy and giddy n' shit and DAMN this is fucking AMAZING!!!! I beat my placement in Socotra, and also made the merge and probably the Jury along with it. This is fucking raaaaaaaaaaadical!!! Omgggg

All I have to do now is maintain my social strength, get a good alliance going, and know when to pull the damn idol out and booyah - I should be able to make it really deep. Yasss <3

"grande terre"

- So, now it's totally crunch time. I have to get my ass an alliance!!

I 100% want to work with at least two of my fellow Azorellas. George, Cali & Jenna - I definitely want to work with all three of 'em, maaaaybe cutting George out of the equation if I have to... I also think I can certainly get Zakriah & Trent, probably Julia too. I mean, including me, that's seven already. Me, George, Cali, Jenna, Zakriah, Trent & Julia. My only qualm with a 7-6 majority is that we don't have the power to split the votes and only one person would have to be a FUCKING TRAITOR in order for shit to go wrong

"grande terre"

- I find it funny how I have a social connection of some type with literally every single castaway on this tribe.

That's honestly gonna make things both easy and difficult. For the first couple of votes, I can use my connections as leverage in order to get people to vote with me, buuuut, I'm also gonna have a few bitter Jurors sitting on that Jury - and that won't be fun at all. I need to be very careful with my Jury management in this game.

"grande terre"

- The one person that I'm UUUBER excited to play with again is Cali, because we worked really well together on OG Azorella; we had a very fluent companionship and I'm ready to resume that and kick some ass now that we've hit merge!!! WOOO!!!

"grande terre"

- So we're in the merge, and I'm getting the feel from different people that they think I'm aligned with them or something. The gag is...I'm not lmao. I really consider myself a lone wolf at this point, because once I get tied down to one alliance, it's simply in my nature just to ride that alliance to the end and be a goat.

That's not happening this game. I promised myself I was gonna play hard, and now that the merge is here I finally have my chance. Joan seems to think im tight with him and he counts out all the people that our on our side. And to be frank with you I really don't like the people he counted on our side xD. I want to see how I can play this to my angle, but I CANT be seen as overplaying.

At the same time I really need to get over this fear I have of being seen as overplaying, as that fear keeps me from making ANY MOVES ever. In life in general, when I get overwhelmed with a situation I tend to detract myself from everything completely. I'm not gonna put myself in that box this game, not today satan.

"grande terre"

- GUESS WHO MADE MERGE?! I'm so proud of myself right now. I'm still so shocked that I made it here. Like it feels all surreal that I outlasted half of the contestants already. Immediately my main goal is to sink my hooks into everyone, especially my old Gallieni mates: Trent, Andy and Miguel. I'm kind of also like worrying about Zak. I know we're good friends and stuff but I have absolutely no idea where he stands in terms of the game since of course we've never been on the same tribe yet. For all I know, I could be completely expendable to him right now, so I'm gonna do my best to get into his good graces strategically like I'm already in his good graces personally.

Also it seems early on that people are super wary of Aren. It makes sense. He's the biggest challenge threat of this tribe, there's a good chance he managed to find the idol during all that time in azorella, and apparently he's shifty like Nifty was. Joan especially seems to really have it out for him and wants to lead a charge to take him out. And honestly, if Joan wants to put himself out there, throwing out Aren's name, to that I say, "You do you, boo boo."

But right now, I feel content. For the first time in this game it feels like my feet aren't being held to the fire, and quite frankly I'd like to keep it that way.

Day 23
"grande terre"

- I MADE MERGEEEEEEEEEE!!! I knew I would. Everyone is so excited bc they didn't make merge last time and I'm over here like lol. Happy for them though. I'm super excited for a 13 person merge. This is where the game starts for me. Y'all know I've been playing from day 1, but everything I do now counts. I'd like to think no one has issues with me so I'm hoping that this game is what I make of it. With the combination of people left I feel like it's mine to lose.

"grande terre"

- I'm so conflicted rn. I'd looooove to win this reward/immunity challenge and I know I could. It's right up my alley. I'd love an idol clue but it's only one so is it worth it? Idk. I also kinda wanna win to stop my target from being immune. On the other hand, I want them all to think I'm super idiotic. The amount of things I've pretended to not know about? Whew. If I excel in a challenge about having a wide vocab? Big ass target on my back. No thank you.

"grande terre"

- I'm honestly so so so excited to be sitting here in the merge!!! And now all I need is a really strong majority alliance. I like Jenna a lot, and I want to work with her, Cali & George - and I'd also like to rope Zakriah & Trent in. Also, I was speaking to Zakriah, and apparently just before the swap Julia was shit-talking me and was saying that I'm not to be trusted? So it might not be a good idea to include her... PLUS, she thinks I have an idol, so she's on to me... YIKES!

"grande terre"

- I'mma give a little run down on my thoughts of everyone bc why not:

Jenna - Bff. Twinnie but smarter and prettier than me ofc. Super excited that we both made merge and hopefully she doesn't fuck me over. >.> Zakriah - Love him. If I can't win I really want him to. He's too good for this world. Nathan - Legend. It's super fun being his dad and telling him to go to sleep. Adrian - Gotta talk to him more but I like him. I feel like he won't know as much about me or my rep so I should keep him close for sure. George - Ahhh he scares me. I could see him taking this game out from under me eventually. Cali - I could def see her going utr. Hopefully I'll get to know her more. Trent - Kinda intimidating ngl, I could see him being the guy to blow up after a vote. Def wanna get to know him before making a true judgement call though. I feel like we're similar. Andy - It's really fucking hard to talk to Andy now bc our schedules are so off from each other. Every time I've gone to merge with Andy I've been blindsided by other people early-mid merge and he's gotten 2nd place. Idk if I believe in curses buuuut it scares me. With that being said we've never not worked together. We have a good thing. Joan - Daddyt. He probably hates me and cannot wait to boot me omg but idc, he's still great. We've been on the same tribe for 23 days so hopefully we'll work together for another 14 or so. Julia - I think she might be getting on the nerves of some people but I like her spirit. I think (?) I can trust her but for all I know she's selling me down the river as I type. Miguel - Good kid. A little shady. Don't know exactly what he's up to. Aren - You know how Hali made everyone uncomfortable and got merge boot? That's where I could see this heading for him. Nice guy but he's making me uncomfortable by sending generic messages to everyone and even voice ones. Before this season I knew he was a snake. I think he's gonna destroy his own game. But you know what they say; keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Day 24
"grande terre"

- Call me paranoid. Call me messy. Call me dumb. But I'm gonna get Julia sent packing if it's the last thing I do. She came for me, she's messy af, she's done. I'm gonna get her voted-out.

Also, she keeps trying to get me to throw a name out there?? Presumably to use it as ammunition against me and it's honestly so frustrating. Uuuuugggghhh lmfao

"grande terre"

- LMAOOO I've honestly made this vote such a fucking challenge for myself by getting mad at Julia and throwing her name out there. Like, I feel like I took her name to a balcony and just tossed it off without a care in the world. I feel like I'll receive votes tonight simply because chances are, word will get around and someone will be a lil bitch and let Julia know that I'm out to get her. Sheesh. LMFAOOO I'm honestly laughing at how fucking funny this situation is. It really reminds me of Andrea v. Zeke in GC when Zeke betrayed Andrea and she got like super pissed at him and shit lol like watch out Julia I'm comin' for yo ass 'cause I'm a fucking mess be ready to receive votes tonight

"grande terre"

- Honestly I don't think I've ever been involved in a vote that's this messy and this large lmfao

Like, damn, holy shit, things are so messy because like at the start of the merge there's so little to base your vote on?? When so many swaps have occurred, things are completely wild and commitments are flying everywhere AND GOD ITS A BIG FUCKING MESS LMAO

I'm trying to get Julia's ass sent packing but I've honestly thought about it and I'm not actually 100% sure that it's the best move for me going forward. If I can get the numbers, then yeah, jolly fucking good, bye bye Julia. But I need to keep in mind that this is a game about strategy, not emotions... Hmm, will the idol come out? Potentially. It might just have to.

I need to realize that there's a good chance I'll definitely be receiving votes tonight, given the fact that I'm putting myself out there so much.

"grande terre"

- Tbh I think I'm gonna just take the risk and preserve the idol even though that's kinda just fucking stupid

But like I've made it this far and I'd rather take the idol a lil further than burn it now. Even if I do go? At least I've had fun and made Jury

"grande terre"

- Honestly I find it amusing that this all started from something Zak sent me that I blew out of proportion like a fucking idiot

It's completely a 'Julia v. Aren' thing right now. And everyone knows it. It's kinda like Andrea v. Zeke. Actually, no, it's a L O T like that and ultimately only one of us can stay

If Julia's sitting on the Jury then there's no way she'll vote for me but eh whatever it is what it is

"grande terre"

- I'm honestly just laughing right now this has gone from seriously shit fucking mess fest to an actual hilarious meme I can't stop laughing this is fucking gold

"grande terre"

- FINALLY! It took me 3 years of playing these games but I finally got a challenge I could actually succeed at and I finally won an individual immunity. So yeah I’m glad that no matter what kinds of shenanigans go on tonight, I’ll still be here tomorrow. But I can’t rest on those laurels and I need to make sure I make the best move for me to move on to the next day. Right now it seems like the popular names to throw out are Aren and Julia. I’m fine with either. By all accounts, Aren seems to be a bit fake, in terms of how he plays this game, and I kinda wanna be the only one who attempts to play every side. Plus he’s good at challenges so I figure, “Lets take him out as soon as possible.” On the other hand, you have Julia. Julia is a really nice girl, but some kind of switch seems to flip as soon as we hit tribal and she goes from 0 to 100 and starts freaking out, entering this weird interrogation mode, and just generally being a hot mess. It’s not cute, and I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone wants her out just to avoid that added stress of having to navigate around her paranoia. But in the background, you also have Joan, who’s trying to start this Onion Alliance, I guess, based around keeping the original tribe numbers equal, as if that matters at all from this point forwards. But whatever, like I said before, he can dig his grave putting himself out there like that, and after Aren and Julia, and maybe someone else, leave, he can step in front of me as a target. As long as he doesn’t drag me down with him we shan’t have a problem. Long story short, things seem to be slow to form on this merge tribe, but there’s a storm brewing, and once everyone’s consensus targets leave, this tribe won’t be so happy and lovey-dovey, if it ever was truly happy and lovey-dovey.

"grande terre"

- LMFAOOO queen Jenna spilling the tea <3

So, apparently these fuckers are, like, all voting me or some shit so Jenna & I are planning on pulling in George & Cali or something and blindsiding Julia. The idol is coming out, and I'm staying. Fuck these people.

"grande terre"

- It's looking like the Julia vs Aren show. I need to make sure that rat Aren leaves. I'm hoping people are being real with me. I could see something fishy happening but I'm trying to remain positive. I'm a bit worried that Aren will have more of a social pull on people and he'll get the votes to stay. That or he'll play an idol. The first merge vote is always the scariest. But I must say I am having fun being hella fake to the most fake of them all! Snakes must be charmed! Hehehehehe

"grande terre"

- Apparently everyone hated me and wanted to vote me out on the most recent Azorella tribe

...

Yiiiiikes.

I think that Julia has, like, REALLY put work into shitting on me. Like she's literally done nothing but put work into shitting on me LOL

Well now she's fucked tbh

"grande terre"

- Julia is going home.

I want to create a counter alliance to combat Joan consisting of myself and Trent Miguel Zakriah Adrian as these were the people that joan intended to be left out of his core connections.

I see what Joan is doing, he expects me to take a seat back while he drives through this entire game. I know how its like to be lead to the slaughter, and instead of those situations, I'm gonna make my destiny for MYSELF.

I know this move may impact my relations with a lot of people. But guess what?

I'm at peace with that.

"grande terre"

- Wow so I finally made the merge on 703. I still haven't made a merge confessional and I'm laughing at that to be honest. So we go into this merge, and immediately Julia, Joan, and Aren are at each other's throats and the rest of us have to decide which of those three is the most pertinent to take out first. They all have their pros and cons: Aren is tooooo much to handle, has his hand in everyone's cookie jars, but might have an idol; Julia is a fucking mess if I've ever seen one and can't go three minutes without a giant fit of paranoia, half these people hate her for existing, but she seems like she might be loyal to me if I put aside all the fishiness from original Couvreux; and Joan is the most level headed and loyal of the three of them, but if we let him keep calling the shots he could win the whole thing. Pretty much, everyone agreed that of those three, we needed to get rid of Aren first, and that's the way I'm expecting the votes to fall tonight. I could very, very well be wrong, however.

"grande terre"

- Okay so this game is the messiest thing in the world....in one corner we have Aren who for some reason everyone is scared of? like bitch he is a little 14 year old fuck who I can most likely beat in challenges......in the other corner we have Julia, who I love but I have heard is a messy ass player and god know I can'y deal with a mess like her, she gets paranoid and that is gonna weigh heavily on me bc I know she is gonna annoy me with the paranoia....

HOWEVER!! AREN HAS AN IDOL (PROBABLY) so now I voted for him but he's gonna play his idol fucking watch me get fucked over with the idol.....i hate it so much I am probably going this tribal and I'm pissed!! I want to survive at least one tribal :( fuck this AND WATCH ME NOT MAKE JURY GOD I WOULD HAVE WASTED SO MUCH TIME ANYWAY THIS IS MOST LIKELY THE LAST CONFESSIONAL FROM MESORRY THEY WERENT GOOD LEMME LIST THE PEOPLE IN THE GAME

CHARLIE - BEAUTIFUL LOVE PERFECT ANDY - IDK HER JULIA - LOVE PERF ANGEL JOAN - SHADY LOVE PERF JENNA - LOVE PERF QUEEN NATHAN - LOVE PERF BBY ZAK - LOVE PERF MUNCHKIN GEORGE - LOVE PERF GET UR INTERNET AREN - OK TRNET - LOVE PERF LITTLE WHITEY MIGUEL - LOVE PERF EASTIN FAN CLUB CALI - LOVE PERF AMAXING

"grande terre"

- https://youtu.be/XPNd76q5ytA

"grande terre"

- whew i made merge! i feel bad because ive been at a one confessional per episode kind of mood but i write essays so.....

anywhom i kind of hate having to talk to 12 other people about the game. it's just tedious and there's so many conflicting schedules that i dont really know what to do.

I really wanna work with jenna zak and charlie, that would be my main group at this point. however i feel like they're so charismatic that it would be hard for me to beat them at the end. i'm gonna have to feel things out with other people who i think i have better shots against as a backup plan, and if things don't work out, i'm gonna need to step my pussy up, because right now i'm admittedly floating. but hey, it's what i need to do to avoid a target.

i'm LIVING because aren, joan, and julia are all like coming after each other and the other 9 people are like.... ok.... y'all can do that and make yourselves the next three boots. that's fine by me because i have no attachment to joan, julia's annoying, and aren seems to think he's in control. i finally got people to be on board with the aren vote but i really didn't do much work so i don't know how much credit i can take for it. it seemed like a joint effort between jenna, zak, and myself, as well as just general personal preferences. HOWEVER i'm like 99% sure Aren has an idol since it wasn't around when i found the right combination, and he told julia that the spot was also empty, probably to get her trust. so even though aren is SUPPOSED to go unanimously or close to it, I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled out an idol and sent julia home. that being said i am a little worried that he will pull out an idol and idol someone else out, so I wanted to throw some side votes at someone else just in case, so that way both myself and julia would stay (she's annoying, sure, but when she's not paranoid she's a good ally for me), but the people i was hoping would go along with that didn't seem to want to bite. so if i leave it's their fault an not mine!

if i survive this tribal im definitely going to go around and strengthen some of my relationships up with some of the people i haven't gotten to meet yet. i haven't had much of a chance at all to talk game with cali or george and i really want to, so hopefully that betters my position just a little bit.

"grande terre"

- Jeeeeez, okay, now that I'm having a conversation with Joan, I'm really seeing where my gameplay's been fucked.

I honestly have no fucking clue how I'm gonna make it past 12th place, but I'm gonna give it my all. Shit shit shit lmaoooooo

"grande terre"

- Jenna could easily be actually against me right now, but I honestly have no choice but to trust her. I'm gonna do everything that I can and I'm gonna pull out all the stops in order to save my life in this game and honestly I'm ready. LET'S GO TO WAR!!!