Board Thread:Survivor 30: Legends/@comment-27636148-20180306084136/@comment-26703314-20180306163402

Hieee Alissa so before I answer your questions lemme just address one thing!

I'm not asking for yours nor Evan's votes. Never have, never will. I know how y'all are voting already and even if I didn't there wouldn't be much point since I burned those bridges and have no real reason to expect your votes regardless. Also regarding Tyler in BARAS, I didn't expect him to understand lol I let him be mad at me for as long as he wanted and accepted it fully. I didn't expect the rest of you to understand either, just to realize that my voting him off meant that no, I do not work with just my friends in games.

And regarding my duality in the way I treat my allies vs people that aren't on my side, that is very true. 99% of the time it is NOT as extreme as it was here, but I've exaggerated myself extremely in this season and I know that put people off. It sucks, and it made people upset. I'm sorry for that because like I said making people feel bad isn't my intention, nor is it something I'm especially proud of. But I do feel it was necessary just to get here in the first place. Like I believe with 100% certainty that had I not turned off as many people as I did, I would never in a million years have made FTC. It's ugly, it got overly personal at times, but it was a means to an end.

Also it's not 'everyone' who doesn't work with me. Sam and I were never on the same page and talked every day. Same with Chris N. I reflect back 10x the kind of behaviors I see directed at me. And fairly or unfairly I felt that you, Evan, and Christine did something unkind. Plus, Evan and I rarely spoke even when we were on the same side so now that we were against each other we had less reason to speak, same with Christine, and you as well to an extent. Basically, the Chris vote just cemented what was already a shaky social game between me and the rest of you.

And about threatening the jury...ehhhhh I do agree that game-wise it wasn't a great move, but again we all know what's gonna happen here? Like, yeah it's good to keep playing and fighting (which is what I'm doing) but I'm not delusional. Everyone here knows who's winning, who's voting for who, and what the outcome will be. I'm just trying to cut short things I don't particularly feel like dealing with. If people don't like what I said, then they certainly didn't like what I said in the game so I'm sure they wouldn't have voted for me to begin with. So it's like, 50/50 for me.

So for your questions!

1. I innovated and changed. I don't think it's much of a departure to say that Asa and Christine played very similarly to how they did in Bora Bora. Neither did a LOT, mostly they hid in the background and let bigger players do their things before finding their spots at FTC. I don't think there's anything wrong with this per se but three seasons of the exact same gameplay does show a level of stagnation in their gameplay. For all of my faults, I pushed myself to do something different and new. YMMV on whether it worked or was a good thing, but in my mind it did work because now I'm here.

2. None! Not my style, sorry.

3. Hmm...I believe I did. Honestly, the truth is that being honest and open all the time is NOT a good thing. There's a reason secrets and lying exist. Because sometimes the truth, or rather what an individual perceives to be the truth, hurts people. And purpusefully ignoring your own filter can be even worse. I think I could've managed to get here while being LESS abrasive and blunt, and probably could've had a somewhat more enjoyable experience for myself and others. But hindsight is 20/20 and we can't change the past, only try to prevent it in the future.