Boy Howdy Am I Ever MAD/Confessionals

Day 6
"kakalos"

- LMFAOOO EMILY VOTING MATTHEW BECAUSE OF A PICNIC TABLE GIVES ME LIFE "kakalos"

- Now here is my dilemma.

I want to sit out this challenge so I can pack for uni but risk getting voted out cause I was a sit out, or...

Compete and risk being voted out for an incompetent effort. This sucks. "				"kakalos"

- Today I explained to Cammy what tartar sauce is

where do I go from there I'm bad at social cues "				"kakalos"

- Multiple elimination rounds are not my favourite. I got eliminated in a double in Koror and in a triple in BAR so my track record isn't great so far. I currently seem to have the highest score on my tribe so hopefully everyone can get great scores and we can be top 2 and stay safe. If we were to lose I have to just hope for the best and hopefully if I end up having the highest score, they want to keep me for it. "kakalos"

- https://youtu.be/wO83IPa8D4U ""stefani"

- So what was SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN was me, Matthew and Konrad were to be this group of three together to run the tribe, and vote out Felipe because of his challenge attempts so we felt more confident in Emily since she stepped up. So imagine me being blindsided for the first time in the game, and worst thing about it is it’s my final 2 that gets voted out..it was too many things/emotions at once. Seeing my f2 leave and my only possible ally flipping on me and leaving me with no one on my tribe. I said I wouldn’t take things personal, but with this lex level snake move, I personally don’t see myself talking to Konrad anymore outside of this game, but that’s if I do end up leaving this round, which I should be. He wanted to kiss my ass later in pms and I ignored him until I figured I should continue doing something I almost never do in games—and that’s be fake. I’m not someone who can be fake it bothers me to my soul to do, but I’ve been trying my best to get over that this season. So if I can hopefully have him in my graces and find a way to stay if we lose again, that’s cool. I can’t really trust anyone on my tribe though. Felipe lies too much to me like I’m dumb and don’t know what’s going on (besides this Matthew blindside), and wants to act all sorry and sad and shit and wants to be complimenting me. I’m not a fan of players who do that, but hey it’s the game. Emily, I feel like either she thinks I still have something against her, or she just has it out for me because I didn’t target her initially here. That was Matthew’s doing, so Liam don’t tell Karsten some bullshit until you know djfjejfj (im saying this because likely Liam will read it sjxjs) but anywho: Konrad was acting like he was so down to work with me and even said it. We’ve known each other for months and he just goes ghost and does me the worst way? He literally betrayed the alliance and me by taking out my closest ally, siding with people who seem to wanna lie and have no ties with me and then say sorry? You’re like on a lex snake level, and I cannot with you. I’m going to make sure everyone knows you are a snake, and that you will have a hard road to continue and I’ll make sure of that before I go home. 🙂 it’s what happens when you cross the wrong one.

But now that I’m done venting for now, I need to get into the challenge. The only other time I’ve ever played this it was in Koror Bali, and it was a tie breaker and I won by 1000 points. So I’m hoping I can tap into this and somehow win for my tribe—more specifically for myself so if I can somehow avoid tribal or find an idol I can hopefully make a swap. But the “survivor gods” have never been in my favor so we’ll see how this goes. Hope I’m not gonna though, people are counting on me. "				""dion"

- sad to see Matthew go rip. but whew I'm here for the split votes & the shade being thrown in parchments lmao. Issa double tribal this round and I'm highkey anticipating Dion facing tribal because Sammy is forced to play and honestly I think he wants to go to tribal so we can vote out Lexi fkasdf which ugh I'd rather just keep winning and maybe get reward but meh I won't be too pressed losing. Louise and Ziggy seem to be slaying this flash game so maybe we'll pull out a win somehow. Also update, an alliance with Sammy & Louise was finally initiated yay "				""dion"

- Hey hosties! So it's Day 6. I'm not too upset that Matthew went, since we didn't talk tooo much. But oh my gosh, the challenge is a flash game which I ABSOLUTELY HATE. Flash games are my biggest weakness, or maybe my second biggest if you count returnee seasons... But anyways.... Double Tribal. I hate double tribal. Especially since a lot of people on my tribe seem to be not the best at flash games- including myself. I'm fairly certain that if we go to Tribal that I would be safe. Sammy hasn't done much in terms of helping with challenges, and he told me his current score and it's pretty low.

It sucks because I wanted to play with Sammy, but I think he's going to be first boot from our tribe if we lose.

On another note, I made a google sheet to track if I talked to everyone in a 24 hour period, and this first week I have been SUCH a flop. There are so many people I've only talked to one or two days. But this is going to motivate me to do better. I just have to remind myself that I can do better! <3 "				"stefani"

- To me at this point it’s go big or go home. I feel like I’m disappointing everybody. I’ve decided to like I probably said in my previous confessional I’ll try to fake it through this, which I normally have a problem with because I usually cannot fake how I feel or my emotions or what not. However, I need to try to keep Konrad on my side no matter if I can’t stand or trust him right now. If I can mix real and fake in it then maybe it can be easier, because I need to figure out how I’m going to survive if I lose again. I’m hoping Konrad would keep his word(when he couldn’t last round) and just not vote me. And we can vote together and figure out what to do here. Hopefully I found a way to survive to the next round. "kakalos"

- Wowowow that tribal was so wild. Now both the two people I actually give a shit about from Stefani have been targeted and I'm not sure how to feel about it! Except that they both did a good job of staying calm in the face of such overwhelming adversity that I blah blah blah who cares I'm just glad it wasn't me!! ""mytikas"

- We lost :( I'm feeling really guilty cos my flash game score was reallyyy bad. Luckily for me though, it doesn't look as though it's going to matter. The only name I'm hearing is Aston, who I really don't want to leave. But tbh even though he's my ally is he too inactive, and I don't want to rock the boat this early on in the game :( "				"stefani"

- I am SO glad my tribe won immunity. Also quick thinking to me getting Konrad to download an app so he could play the game. I’m just glad for once there no tribal, and I hope we can either win the next one or I swap because I don’t wanna go again. I’m really hoping people like Gevonte and Trey and others survive because I feel bad for them :( also Brian and Cammy and Charlie and Elizabeth like they’re all amazing!! "stefani"

- https://youtu.be/QW-XnwmjJKM "stefani"

- https://youtu.be/PN6GAVutomI "stefani"

- https://youtu.be/e9NDdTXNmHU

Day 7
"kakalos"

- COME ONNNNN WEAK SOCIAL GAME BE MY SAVING GRACE "kakalos"

- Oh my god Jack this is the worst possible time to be drinking Karsten is TARGETING YOU "dion"

- Its day 7 and i’m a mess… my social game is like im trying to talk to these ppl like ~every 4 hours and they’re like not talking back omg... like i’d literally send hi to everyone at like any time of the day and only like 2 people would reply to me :( I expect a swap soon which sucks bc dion (except for sammy) is slaying so far and i’d like to just stay on my precious tribe. Like i said in a previous conf sammy is like the boot on the tribe if we lose. I really like ryan and lexi so i might like.. Make an alliance with them. Idk not much game talk so far. ""kakalos"

- So we are headed to tribal and I am pretty much freaking out. I put myself in a really cruddy ass position. I should have stood my ground when Brian said that he wanted to vote Kar out. I should have said ""no, I am not doing that"", but I was afriad. I'm doing the same thing I try to do in real life, wanting everyone to like me. I really just fucked up here. I really did.

So Brian and I were talking and I decided to ask him for an alliance thinking I could try and convert him to my side (Kar and Liz), but he really seemed to want kar out because kar was aggressively pushing jack as the vote and as it turns out Brian and Jack are close, so how the hell could I convince him to vote out jack? I didn't think I could, so I decided to become a yesman and agree with what he said about kar and how he needs to go and now I am here in this alliance with Brian, Liam and Jack. Fuck. I have two options here I can go with the those 3 and vote out Kar or I can go with liz and kar and vote out jack (could change) If I do go with liz and kar we are most likely going to rocks and I would have 3 people pissed at me. If I did go with the three I would gain 3 people's trust but I would have liz piss off at me and she is the person I trust the most. Now I would obviously tell her which way I am voting, but she trusts kar and if I were to vote him off... it would not end well. If we go to rocks I have a good chance at being eliminated and on top of that 3 people pissed off at me and those 3 people could possibily stay which would really fuck me over. I think (and I hate to say this) the smartest move for me is to not go to rocks and vote with the three. I would have to tell Liz this, and I do not know how she would react, but I do not want to go to rocks. I really do like kar and I would like to work with him but I do not know if I can go to rocks for him. Tommororw is going to be fucking crazy. "				"kakalos"

- Our first tribal is coming up tonight. I feel relatively confident that it won't be me, but you can never really be sure. I haven't done that well in any challenges yet, but I think it's either going to be Jack or Ben/Elizabeth. I'm actually hoping it's Jack because he has made pretty much 0 effort to get to know me, or get to know like half of the tribe. Plus, I think he's likely to have a lot of connections to people in other tribes, and I don't trust him to stay "loyal" at all. He's also the "i'm a 420 bonger blazer VL dude gnarly duuuuuuude" from some season that I specc'd, so that by itself should be grounds for dismissal lol. "kakalos"

- Okay so first time at tribal and this vote may be messy. Originally me Ben and Karsten wanted Jack out but we couldn't get a 4th person to avoid a tie because Liam and Brian apparently like Jack and want Karsten out. If it came to a tie, me and Ben would be willing to go to rocks to save Karsten, and I'm worried if we vote Jack, they'd be willing to go to rocks for him also. So maybe voting Brian might be better in trying to get someone to flip in a revote "mytikas"

- First tribal for me, and so far it seems pretty straight forward. I'm in an alliance with both Cammy and Charlie so I feel like I'm in an okay spot. For the most part, everyone seems to be okay with making the simple decision and just voting out Aston. Nice guy, but he's not hear a lot cause he has a life. For me, its about surviving. I'm feeling pretty good about my relationships on my tribe. One world has added something different for me, cause everyone is so whatever with talking. I'm trying to make an effort to talk to at least one new person if I can, a day. I'm trying to not oversociallize but not under socialize. The game has finally begun for me and its great. Its time to take the bull by the horns!! "kakalos"

- I think it’s really cool that Karsten is trying to target me just because I’m on vacation this week. That’s just great. Luckily Liam and Brian want me around and we’ve got an alliance with Ben to secure a majority here. I’m not feeling great but hopefully this works, it’d be shitty to go this early and especially when I’ve carried my weight ""kakalos"

- I am shaking. I have never been in a position like this before and it is so terrifying. Okay so liz is going to tell Liam that she is going to vote Brian. I am worried that might make her the target and there is no way in hell I would vote Liz. I am worried about karsten blowing up at Brian. That would just lead to crazy chaos and I do not need that right now. I really do not want to go to rocks right now. Espicially since I will have 3 people pissed at me afterwards. I can try and convicne liz that this rock situation is really bad for us. If Karsten goes I would be in a great position and I would love it. This tribal is already more intense than any visiyas tribal. "				"dion"

- Dion fucking slayed the immunity and I was deadass shook, I thought we were gonna lose lol. Nicole asked to go to the maze and I didn't fight her on it bc not like I participated in the challenge anyway. She also came up with the idea to send the same 3 ppl from the other tribes that went the first time, with the thinking that this way we would have a more concrete idea of who has a power... and hmmm on one hand that makes sense but on the other isn't that just gonna give them more opportunity to actually get a power? idk it's not a big deal. I did however try to tell Malik that it was me pushing to get him sent back there and I think he bough it lol so maybe some good came out of it for. ALSO wigggg I was shocked that Stefani didn't have to go to tribal and the other two did :0 I'm v curious what the results will be & hoping Dion's winning streak doesnt make me a target. I don't know what I hope happens on Mytikas tbh, but I think I'd rather Brian or Ben leave on Kakalos... "kakalos"

- I did talk with liz a little bit about not going to rocks, but she is worried that if we do not swap after voting out kar then she would be next and she is right. Plus I do think she does have a goof amount of trust with kar, so with that being said we are probably going to rocks depending how the re vote goes. I do not handle confrontation well and I feel like I'm going to be handleing a lot of it after this tribal. It was so stupid of me to get myself into this position. I really fucked up here. If we do ene up going to rocks I feel like I would be the one goiny considering I was the one that flipped and usually flippers go home so lmao. If liz goes though I am going to be so fucked. Ugh I really do feel like going to rocks is too big of a risk this early in the game. I just want to get thie over with ""mytikas"

- So, things are looking like they're gonna run smoothly for this vote. It appears that it's gonna be 5-1 on Aston. Not really what I wanted this round but I was told that name pretty soon after I started talking to people and Cammy and I decided it's probs best not to rock the boat this early for someone who isn't even really that active.

Talking of Cammy, our good relationship is continuing to grow. We get on really well, and today we tag teamed Jerry in our alliance chat to make him talk to Gevonte instead of us. This way, hopefully keeping the spotlight off of us. Cammy is definitely someone I can see myself going far into this game with.

Oh about Gevonte. Cammy and I both wanna work with him, as he's someone who is straight talking, I feel like one knows where they stand with him. Also, he has good connections with people I wanna be aligned with, including Malik and Lexi. So this could work out well for us! "				""mytikas"

- Ok so I'm playing a bit of catch up here but I'm am so HEARTBROKEN about going to tribal. That game was honestly not even that bad but we all tried so haaard. At least bany Malik id safe for once but in turn i gotta chop someone off. And it sucks cause I really genuinely think everyone here gets along great, and I love all of them....

That said. Its pretty easy to figure out the weak link. And it saddens me cause I was SO happy to see him and work with him again after meeting up in Twisted, but he just, hasn't been giving us anything to go off of as a reliable member. Which saddens me cause just a month ago he was the ONLY one i felt i coild trust. So to see him go so early, especially in an org he hasn't been back to in 4 whole years... is gonna be heartbreaking. But if my past failures have taught me anything, it's that you can't simply rely on your past friends to glide through the game all the time. I don't wanna risk my second chance by sticking my neck out for someone that hasn't been around so. It's just something we gotta do, and hope for the best next round. I'm sorry buddy. :c "				"kakalos"

- https://youtu.be/b8icWZQbTtM "mytikas"

- Damn, I feel like shit. Poor Aston. ""kakalos"

- oh boy howdy am I ever MAD

Ben, what you had to do was follow a simple task. I don't understand why it was so hard to just vote Karsten when he was clearly overplaying. Snitches get stitches, dude. Not cool. "				"kakalos"

- Yaaas the tie worked. I am ready for rocks if need be. For me, the decision to do rocks is always based on my loyalty to people. If I am close to someone, I am willing to take that chance to save both of us in the hopes someone else can go home. In this instance, I couldn't vote Karsten whatsoever since him and Ben are the 2 people I talk to on a regular basis and we've had our alliance chat since last night. In this case we chose Brian because we figured he could be the most likely to be flipped on outta the 3 but who knows. Felipe told me that Liam got rocked out once before so I'm hoping he is willing to flip or at least one of him/Jack flip but regardless I'm willing to do this. Also, as a way to get me to vote Karsten, Brian tried saying he won't hold any grudges for it yet Ben told me about a 4 person group of him/Brian/Liam/Jack so I know if I flipped and we didn't swap next that if we were to lose, it would be me or Ben going home. ""mytikas"

- Also Imma do a power rankings type thing for my tribe. And then for everyone left after after this cause why not? I need content.

1. Cammy. Ugh, I just, can't keep myself away from iconic women?? We get along SO easily. And honestly I was sceptical of her at first, but she comes to me with information and we dem to just have, an unspoken connection. Idk HOW real or fake it is, but if she's willing to work out idol clues with me and decipher whay the secret of the maze is together she MUST genuinely trust me and I LOVE that.

Jerry - QUICKLY ran up the ranks once I found out we are LITERALLY the same person like holy shit. We eat the same food, love some of the same things, we're both dorks and I love it.

Charlie - lovable Brit with hilarious stories and honestly just a gem to be around. he's very engaging.

Trey - He's pretty much on the same level as Charlie but our convos aren't as diverse. I still LOVE him and I feel likevhell be a really reliable ally late on

Aston - Ugh I'm so sorry we had to do this to you man. You know I love you but in this game, I just couldn't do anything to save you. And I knew trying too hard to save you when it was the group consensus pretty early on would have caused drama. Soo I hope you forgive me and root for me in that damn VL! "				"kakalos"

- This tribal was just a shit show. Brian keeps pestering me about flipping back, but that would do me no good. if I did flip back it would cause distrust between liz and I and liam jack and Brian would not trust me that much. It just wouldn't work out. Did I want the vote to go this way? No. I even tried telling her earlier that if it does tie and we end up going to rocks we have a 25% of going. I trust liz more than I do Brian. She is very open with me and I am open with her. Brian has Liam and Jack and I feel like that he is much more closer with them then he is with me. I would have rather ruin Brians trust than Liz's and that is what I did. Now I just gotta make it out of this fucking tribal alive. "stefani"

- https://youtu.be/ZBcbnhC3fPk "mytikas"

- A tie... literally what are kakalos doing?? And I've heard there's talk of rocks now. Imagine going to rocks at final 21, and getting eliminated via that, would be so dumb! "kakalos"

- Think I made a confessional last night about rocks but this is deadass Carthage 2.0. So obviously 2nd chances you learn from your mistakes right? Well this time I’m going to rocks. If I get rocked so be it but at this point it makes even less sense to flip than it did in Carthage. Like Jerry and Carson was legit with me and Ben and Liz ain’t. Sure Karsten is more legit than Fariha but the numbers aren’t gonna be kind, also we’re preswap as opposed to near merge. I need to sit pat. It just makes sense to show hey, I’m not letting other people run my game. So hopefully this doesn’t kill me but I’m ready to put myself out there and show I’m not gonna lie down and die this game "dion"

- y'all I'm living for this tie on Kakalos lmao. I got some intel from Karsten about what is going on their and it seems like Jack/Liam/Brian have made themselves into a tight trio... Ugh I stan Elizabeth & Ben holding their ground and not settling to be 4th and 5th in their group yasssss we love proactive gameplay. I definitely am hoping Karsten survives and I would be gutted to see Elizabeth rocked out so I'm hoping they can flip Liam or Jack <3