What Bullshit I've Dealt With/Confessionals

Day 26
"zaghagmaloo"

- At the auction, I bought the exact item that I needed, an advantage at the immunity challenge, and I was so thankful for that. It was unexpected that Morgan also got a challenge advantage, but it was fine. When the results came out, it was so disappointing for Morgan to win because had he not had an advantage like me I would have won.

Because this is just an online game, I've now lost hope. I don't find much value in trying to convince a brick wall to vote for another brick wall. If I'm meant to go, at this point I'm at peace with that. If I go I just hope that Kamen, Gavin, and/or Morgan make it to the end because those are the only people I would ever want to give my jury vote to. I'll leave it up to fate though. If somebody finally wants to make a move, then I'll be on board with it. Of course this isn't meant to offend the hosts, but this is becoming a pretty boring season. I'm just imagining that the next vote-outs are me, then Gavin, Morgan, then in some order Tal & Magnus, and that would be so ridiculously boring. Kamen's reluctance to flip is understandable, because he's convinced a bunch of sheep that he's a shepherd LMAO. Reminds me of Cagayan when Spencer mocked Woo for saying "oh, yeah, that's something to consider" because that's exactly what Catnip and Cole have been doing. Magnus and Tal are probably having some cognitive dissonance right now. Do they really think they can get to the end by sticking with Dumb? Even though it favors me, it makes so much more sense to side with me, Gavin, and Morgan at this point. I kinda want to quote Randy Bailey and call them hopeless idiots, but I'd rather just laugh if they end up getting voted out. If I earned the truth of Magnus and Tal, I would take Morgan out before either of them. They would never believe me saying that, and I can't risk compromising one of two allies I have in the game. We'll see what happens.

Day 27
"zaghagmaloo"

- So I won Immunity for the second time. After being in minority twice in a row, I definitely needed this. I've been getting really close to Catnip that her info are helping me so much that I can plan accordingly. I think with a hidden immunity idol, the ability to escape tribal council, and my comp skills means I can probably actually be 100% immune to FTC. I have no idea if it was ever done before :o I am confirmed in Final 8. There are 5 more immunities after this and I can slip up maximum of 2 times, assuming its a final three FTC. My plan is just win out. Hopefully Catnip would flip so I can hang out with my pals a bit longer to make this less of a pain.

"zaghagmaloo"

- I‘ll be honest, I feel quite scared about this tribal. Scared that this plan backfires later in the game and my old Dumbripi tribe and/or alliance people will be salty with me enough to cost me the jury vote (IF I get to FTC); scared that something will change and there won‘t be Kamen votes in the first place and I‘ll have flipped for nothing; scared that maybe it will be leaked to my current alliance and I‘ll be screwed right here, right now. Also scared that now I won‘t get the full glory for this move, cause apparently Magnus is flipping separately as well, wanting to vote either Kamen or me out.

I also feel bad. I do indeed like Kamen as a person and we have been allied since what, day 3 or so? And while he is calling the shots in this alliance, it never feels like a dictatorship (sometimes slightly more stubborn or stern than others, but still very reasonable). But at the same time, don‘t get me wrong – I also want to do this. I need/want to do this for my game, and for opening up so many more opportunities. [after tribal] Hmm, did not get backlash. Tal even wants to talk strat and say „hey, help me take out a good player from the other side“. Tal is a good player himself, so there‘s that, and now I wonder if I would prefer to side along with Morgan or with Tal (Tal probably does have grudges against Morgan due to Ngauu vote). And I don‘t have a gameplan going forward. Jason did the alliance chat of all five of us (six minus Kamen). Felt awkward. I was seriously surprised to not just be thrown out of the around-the-world alliance at that point. And overall, I just... didn‘t really get any backlash? I mean, who knows what‘s being talked behind my back, but I had absolutely no angry notes. Just questions or clarifications or such. Maybe Morgan is right, perhaps people were just more surprised. Plus, I wasn‘t the only one flipping. I like that the new alliance chat of me, Mason, Gavin and Morgan does NOT include Magnus. Mason said he figured Morgan was referring to me when he (Morgan) said someone in the majority was flipping. So that sort of makes me feel OG in a way :D On the other hand, who‘s to say they don‘t already have an alliance like that but with Magnus, you know.

"zaghagmaloo"

- Another day, another day of being on the outside. From what I have heard, they are splitting the votes 3-3 between me and Mason, and we will vote Kamen. That makes it a 3-3-3. Hopefully someone flips to our side.