Like a Dying Star/Confessionals

Day 19
"messana"

- I am so relieved that we merged.Cause I would have been the next to go anyway.I hope the tharros people know just who to go for a flip.Just say the name "Jack O" and I will be writing his name down before u can all wear your new buffs.I hate his cocky self bossing people around.Still I am pretty excited to see what will happen next.And hopefully people wont cry over me not being good in challanges anymore.

"messana"

- Holy crap... I actually hit the merge! I'm shook right now and this is where the REAL game begins. This is gonna be messy as hell, I can tell. Hold onto your seatbelts kids.

Day 20
"messana"

- Merge is here! Right now it's like a middle school dance. You've got everyone warming up to each other and trying to see what's up, but no Zama's are dancing with anyone from Tharros yet. We're 5-5 and this ain't going to rocks so somebody's going to have to flip, and most likely it'll be Zama. They just have more cracks.

Carson is doing pretty well for himself, he's definitely the most connected Zama member right now. He knows Ben and Keaton from before, and he and I got close during the premerge. But I think he's playing all sides, he and Jerry made a mistake by blindsiding Danielle and Jack at the Gilad tribal. Now I probably will have the option of bringing Danielle and Jack in to take out the rest of Zama. Just now Danielle popped the question and asked if I wanted to work with her.

I'm honestly a little scared of Danielle, I think I'm a better player but that girl can find cracks and win people over. She knows how to slide under the radar. I think I want to keep her around and eventually pit her against Keaton, who's terrified of her. It's risky to give Danielle room to maneuver considering that this is one of the few times that she'll be in a bad position, but I think I can use her. As crafty as Dani is, she's got a huge reputation and it's going to distract from other targets like me. I'm ready to dance with the devil.

"messana"

- This vote is gonna be messy messy messy messy. Fun times!

Day 21
"messana"

- things are gonna get hairy with this vote. i have to toe the line between tribe unity with zama and keeping my confidantes from tharros happy, because i want there to be some fluidity in this merge i just don't want to be susceptible to a pagonging if there are too many other players who don't want fluidity. fuck this is annoying like i really don't want to play with carson or fariha anymore they're not gonna do diddly for me but also they're not gonna do diddly for tharros???? but i trust jack and will more than those 2 so like. UGH and i don't wanna go to rocks either but god damn it 5-5 just makes sense. i can't pull a cochran and flip that just singles you out immensely. the other alternative of course is flipping a la kass but shit dude she was the alleged goat for cagayan. i'm here to win

"messana"

- merge time. gross.

i really really dont wanna cover stuff bc most of it has just been social stuff/social bonds/forming that.

jack o. and danielle have been sorta standoffish which worries me. keaton's fun.

yeah.

i tried going all out in the challenge and asking everyone so i could win but danielle lied and left me on read so!!! i lost. but whatever lets hope i can stay in.

jack c is saying jerry's name bc hes suspicious and honestly? as long as it isnt me im good with it. let's get ANYONE out, yknow?

also will asked me who i wouldnt want to go and i said danielle bc i thought she didnt trust me anymore so hopefully will tells her i said i want her here and she trusts me more!!!

yeah.

"messana"

- i'm getting what i fucking want and that is PURE AND JUST. so i floated the idea by jack c of a 4 person group of me him will and dani, and now will is telling me that a cross tribal group could work and that he likes dani. i drop jack's name, and now we might just be in business here. it all hinges on dani of course, which is a little aggravating but i know she doesn't trust jerry. so maybe. i just pray i'm not getting played

"messana"

- So just had some good conversations with Will and Jack C.And they promised that they won't vote me tonight,which is kind of a relief.I believe them about 70% at this point.Also I told them quite frankly that I am willing to flip on Zama if they vote Jack or Dani.Now they suggested Jerry,which is kinda hard for me as he just saved me.But still I won't be drawing any rocks for him,so they can vote him out if they want to.BUT I don't think they will actually vote Jerry as there's an idol lurking around,why would they tell who they are really voting?Also I submitted the fish challange the exact way Will told me to,so he can think I am dumb,naive and will do whatever he says.Maybe that will give him some more motivation to keep me around.I noticed that Keaton and Nadine submitted the same way I did,so maybe Will told them too?So I think these three are really tight with Jack C and Ben kind of on the outs. And the ex Zama members finally added me in an alliance chat.They finally think I am worthy enough to be in their cool group.Well screw them!

"messana"

- So just as I thought, Zama caved in on itself like a dying star. They all sold each other out to survive the vote, which is the right move honestly.

Carson is safe because Ben won’t consider voting him (Bens honestly playing it kind of badly, which means I want Carson gone next for sure).

Danielle and Jack O are safe because Jack C and I want them around (more on that in a minute). They’re basically the 2 person minority from Zama so it makes sense to keep them.

Fariha is safe because she’s just not a threat. I want her around because after Jerry and Carson are gone she’s going to be my number.

That leaves Jerry. I like Jerry (ish) and his birthday is in 3 days so I feel like a dick, but he’s the easiest vote. Carson is who I want right now, but I can’t risk Ben freaking out and flipping so it’s Jerry. No one trusts him and his only real connection is Fariha right now, so there isn’t a lot of collateral damage.

Also in other news, Jack C started playing today, and the whole game is about to bust wide open. Nadine told him about her idol (which I told her ass not to do but whatever) and then he just made a Final 4 deal with me, Jack O, and Danielle. He wants to take out Ben next round..which is crazy. But it’s great because Jack C has been the person on Tharros I was most worried about and now I know what he’s doing. I’m going to use this information to make Keaton, Ben, and Nadine willing to blindside him. Jack C could have been set if he tried to bring someone else into his final 4 like Nadine, but he fucked up by trusting me to go alone with his half assed plan. Oops.

"messana"

- Oh I'm so mad at Jack C. for a few reasons - OVERPLAYING! Telling my idol to Will even though I told him not to tell it to anyone else, and making a F4 alliance with himself, Will, Jack O. and Danielle. I'm so glad that my strong alliance with Will allows me to know what's going on. Apparently they plan to flip on Tharros and then try to vote me out (blindside) me at F8.

On the other hand, I am getting closer to Fariha and Carson. I have a good relationship with them already, and will keep Ben and Keaton close to me. I want to get one out of the Jack C., Jack O. and Danielle alliance soon.

Jerry is probably getting out this round.

I hate playing with Jacks in this season.