I'm Determined To Be Okay With Whatever Happens/Confessionals

Day 36
"sharij"

- Me two seconds ago: "why do I even bother to read the immunity threads I never win them anyways damn it"

Me after seeing it's Tetris: SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

"sharij"

- Anyways, there's no real plan yet. It'll be Bryce or Lex depending on who Nam wants to vote for really. We just need to make absolutely sure that he stays with us. He has to know that if he goes to the end with Bryce or Lex, they win. Period.

"sharij"

- So Nam won immunity which is pretty good. The idea is to target Lex since she's better in challenges than Bryce pretty much. I think we should be good???? I don't see Nam flipping to Bryce/Lex because he would never beat them ever. And Lex says she's voting Bryce but after the last vote I can't take her at face value, not that I really ever should've. This next vote is so important, obviously if I go then that's the end, but if Yuki goes that's also basically game over for me too. I really need Nam to stay true to us.

"sharij"

- This game has only lasted a little over a month but I swear it feels like at least six. I feel like I've known these people longer than I've known my own parents at this point

Day 37
"sharij"

- When Lex reads me for being shit at challenges and I've always owned up to that

"sharij"

- It's a little funny actually. Despite this being the first tribal where I actually received votes, I was much less nervous than I've been in the past. I'm gonna be even more of a wreck in the next few days since we're SO close to the end and I know I won't be able to win immunity.

"sharij"

- Istanbul IS Constantinople!

"sharij"

- I won immunity! Me! This bitch! Like oh my god it was so important to block Bryce from winning and I did it! Now it's one more challenge until the FTC. If Yuki wins, she'll take me. I have no doubt about that.

Day 38
"sharij"

- Bryce is laying down the emotional argument pretty hard and as always it's hard to disregard that. I feel like I'm becoming a less warm person over time because it's gotten much EASIER to dismiss it than before

"sharij"

- One thing I've found myself noticing is that this game would've been very different without me. I don't know how I feel about that because this game has caused a lot of hurt feelings

"sharij"

- so as far as the challenges go: hard idol, easy. Hexagon... Not gonna win that. Probably not gonna win flag either

This is tough

If I have to I might throw hard idol to give Yuki a better shot at winning (joking)

"sharij"

- son of a mother effing god damn it I can't believe it. Five minutes. I got distracted for five minutes and I blew it. I don't even know what to say. It is just the most embarrassing thing. This will probably be what costs me the win. I'm so mad at myself right now

"sharij"

- I'm determined to be okay with whatever happens. If Nam takes me I'll be overjoyed. If he doesn't I'll be upset, definitely, but Yuki will still be able to win and I'll be happy for her. I did my best and at the end of the day that's all anyone can give.

Day 39

 * No Confessionals Were Written On This Day.