Keep My Name Out Ya Mouth/Confessionals

Day 4
"monoceros"

- WEE WOO WEE WOO Loren’s got a pregame! Loren’s got a pregame!! I’ve got nothing bad to say about the guy, but MAN were people pushing back against that vote and I can’t think of any other explanation. I had to pivot to Emma, which sucks because she was so nice to me, but I was told that the vote was coming down to me or her last night. And since you’re reading this right now, that means it wasn’t me. I don't know if I can trust Natalie or Catnip. If Natalie hadn’t had a health scare, I might have swung at her instead, but I don’t know if taking out a former winner so soon would be too much this early. Catnip has the Day 0 Idol, so that’s not great, either; right now I want to see if I can build a relationship there. Besides Loren, I feel like I’m good with everyone else, though. Let’s see what I can do with that.

"vulpecula"

- Soooo, we’re back in Mohenjo Daro. No pressure…

Honestly this tribe needs a leader bc it always takes so fucking long to come up with a consensus. “Star council” could be a massive mess if we end up going, but like - I’m not stepping up to being the leader this season. I have been such a bossy boots bitch in my past seasons and I don’t have time to evolve and be a good leader.

We’ll see how it goes I guess LMAO

"vulpecula"

- Hickman is such a blessing on this tribe, this dude coded a fucking algorithm for the challenge. What in the technical macgyver is this shit???

Me and Nicole have been worrying about them a lot, like if they go into the merge or get swapped onto another tribe then like

it’s as if a nuke gained sentience

"vulpecula"

- Hickman has an idol AND is dating someone???

I might as well quit at life.

"vulpecula"

- Ok so basically heres a run down of the last few days.

I feel like I got off on the right foot. Instantly I reconnected with Nath and Nicole and me and Nath even started working on the idol together, we found 3/4 of these grid things but have nooooo idea what to do with them yet! Meanwhile I really seem to vine with Matty Marty and Conch the most outside of those two so I feel like Im integrating myself ok... but idk.

I'm having those early day jitters. Like I feel like my social game isnt where it needs to be? I spent basically 80% of the first round talking to practically everyone, and now i feel like I've fallen into this trap where I'll disappear for a bit or I only talk to a select few, almost like we've already splintered off into groups. The one thing I told myself going into this this is to get out of my head and turn on the usual Gev charm. But im so afraid it not working. I know we haven't gone to tribal. So obviously things like alliances and strategy are not easy to talk about or else you look like you're overplaying. But im not trying to under play either. So I feel like going forward I need to up the tempo just enough to get me to swap, and from there the real gameplay can hopefully kick in. I feel like I play timid in these games so maybe it's time to amp things up

"vulpecula"

- While Hickman’s program shit is cool and all, it kinda feels like a double-edged sword? This challenge just got a bit more complicated.

"vulpecula"

- Okay nvm I feel like everyone has overcomplicated this challenge.

"vulpecula"

- So, i think you heard that already, but... WE WON 1ST IMMUNITY! How cool is that?

so far i am not hearing anything much about alliances in our tribe. most likely the ones who is making them - decides to not include me. we will see!

together with Nathaniel we are looking for idol clues. he found 2 (in 1st treemail message, and above tribe chat), i found one in Jigme's bio. 4th one probably is hidden somewhere where we couldn't see it yet.

had a plenty of amazing conversations about life with Nicole. she's cool person, we will see if we will be able to turn it into working duo for tribals.

everyone else are more or less amazing people.

probably the least amount of "click" i got with Nemo. idk, if it's an age gap thing, or something else... he doesn't get my jokes (as it not realizing when i joke, even when it's bad jokes)... but he's super popular player in this community, if he thinks the same about me (as in "we didn't clicked yet" - i might be in trouble. he's very well connected here with a lot of people on our tribe - he's being each others #1 with Okie in Catnip's ORG where they just made F4, he played in Lithuania with Matty, he was hosted in Lithuania by Nathaniel and Isaiah + he's hosted by them at the moment in Catnip's ORG).

Nemo is in the middle of everything, i wouldn't dare to bring up his name if the next few rounds... but in a fortunate swap? who knows ;)

other tribe voted out Emma first? last few months following other ORGS i thought that Emma is super popular in the community, and has friends everywhere, but now she got 1-10? that just shows that the game is on the top gear mode here, no time for "checking each other out" tribals!

i made TOP 21! let's keep fingers crossed for Top 20!

"monoceros"

- Okay, I'm gonna be real: it doesn't look like we're gonna be able to pull together as a tribe for this challenge. And if we lose, that means *drumroll* tribal. Obviously, that's still a ways away, so I don't wanna jump the gun on anything. But I think I'm better with Natalie and Loren now than I am with Cat, so if I had to cast a vote this very second, it would be for her.

"vulpecula"

- THAT CHALLENGE WAS THE MOST HELL I EXPERIENCED SINCE MY FIRST DEATH. WHAT THE FUCK.

"vulpecula"

- Okay so, I might've shot myself in the foot and overplayed a bit here, but I'm feeling confident in myself because I have the protection of the idol.

After we did that EXHAUSTING challenge, I pretty much said in VC

"Guys, this should be the core of the tribe I reckon, none of us deserve to go home after that grind."

and I think I was uniquely positioned to say that so let's go.

Let's see what happens!

"vulpecula"

- We head to today's immunity challenge, and I am shocked to see that Emma has left the game. My duo partner from Day 0. I was shocked. She kicked my TAIL in the first challenge and she is such a great competitor that I was not expecting her to leave. Maybe we will have that Nadiya-Natalie 1st Boot-Winner Story arc. Only time will tell...

"vulpecula"

- This challenge was super complicated. It had a lot of moving pieces and my tribe did a pretty decent job of it. I was getting personally frustrated with my tribe at times. But we did a real great job of coming back. I hope it is enough for the win because bruh NO ONE IS TALKING STRAT. But I don't want to seem to be over-playing. So imma just lay back and hope there is more time for me to make some relationships with my tribe.

"vulpecula"

- Seems like the apollo 11 is gonna become apollo 10...

"monoceros"

- Well, Emma ended up going home. It wasn't exactly a hard vote to sell to anyone or to push, but I'm pretty glad that it worked out the way that it did. The vote being between AT and Natalie just wasn't going to work for me, but I also knew that I didn't want to be the one pushing for AT to stay so hard, so I told AT his name was out there and that we should push for Emma as well. I then went to double down on Emma's name to the very people that I knew AT was going to, but made sure to tell them that I had heard it from AT first, so if anything blew up it was never coming back my way. After the dust settled, it ended up being a unanimous vote against the person I had spoken to the least in the game, even after she was one of the only people on the tribe to have won her point in the challenge, which was something everyone had said was basically going to grant her immunity from the vote. I figured it was mainly just moral grandstanding and people putting up a facade of wanting to preserve some level of integrity so that strong efforts for the tribe were rewarded. When push comes to shove, that sort of a mindset will fold each and every time it ever shows up in the first place if it means people get a free and easy vote that isn't their own name; especially in the early game of an all-star season where everyone is just glad to see a name put on those parchments that isn't theirs. To those people: you're welcome for the easy vote. I doubt we're going to have any more in the future.

Day 5
"vulpecula"

- Coffee doesn’t get me through the morning, Nicole spamming me with a bunch of info does.

I think a plan is coming together.

"vulpecula"

- So Hickman and Okie want Gevonte out according to Nicole. So here I am trying to get in on that group but now Hickman is acting dumb and so I’m having to explain his own plan to him as if he isn’t spearheading that shit. AND NOW IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE I’M SPEARHEADING THIS SHIT???

God, it’s happening again.

"vulpecula"

- So Hickman goes to Nicole and says to her “byron really wants to be your friend”??????

Huh?????

Did you miss Survivor: Sinai???

"vulpecula"

- I have been relaying so much info to people the past few hours, it's crazy. Like I feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot but it seems like people in this tribe are actually so unaware of this vote. This could possibly be the easiest yet messiest vote I've ever participated in and I honestly should keep my mouth shut or else I'm going LMAO.

"vulpecula"

- So all the info that Nicole trusted me with...

I spilled it all to Nemo. WHAT AM I DOING?

"vulpecula"

- We lost the immunity challenge and I am definitely feeling responsible. Last time, I lost my deul. This time, it was the mistake I made early on. And based on how far we got, we would have definitely won. Which is super frustrating. And although challenge strength is variable in this game, people will do anything to not be the first out. And I am worried because the lack of strategy talk, I could be the easy vote.

"vulpecula"

- I feel like everyone is super scared to say a name. And I don't feel like I have the bandwidth to be able to say a name either. Because the minute that someone says a name, a target is on your back. Idk. Low key Hickman said in the VC at the challenge that anyone who participated should not be up for contention. This is great in theory. But, the fact of the matter is that people who are not in the challenge I want to work with. Idk I feel like this vote is gonna be silent til right before the vote.

"vulpecula"

- Here I am telling everyone to vote for Gevonte because the people who were meant to do it are asleep. I have gotten myself in such a stupid mess LMAO, if I get out of this alive then holy shit. If not then I've failed the 3 people rooting for me.

"vulpecula"

- You know the scene in Misery where James Caan is trying to figure out what to type and all he can type out is "FUCK"?

that's me

"vulpecula"

- why the hell had you changed the days numbering method here? it's uncomfortable!

in other notes - just wanted to say that.... if me trying to save Gevonte changes something in a way that i get voted out..... i'll actually.... won't lose a night of sleep because of it. Gevonte is worth it.

"vulpecula"

- Reading everyone else's confessionals when the season is over is gonna suck so much. I still haven't gotten over main org, I'm gonna be completely destroyed in confessionals on an 11 person tribe.

"vulpecula"

- I came into this morning and Gev seemed to be the vote, coming from Byron. And according to him, it was what everyone wanted. But, I wasn't really understanding the reasoning. Because the reasoning could have very well been on me as well. But, I want to wait and see what is going on around me before making a hard decision on it.

"vulpecula"

- A few days ago, I was not liking where my game was going. BUT NOW, I feel like everyone is getting the information and bringing it to me, and I am using that to my advantage. They all seem to be telling me everything that I already know, which is good because they trust me enough to do that. I think I would rather have Byron go home at this point only because he has been the sneakiest person of the group thus far. But I want to hold my cards tight and fall towards whichever the vote is landing on.

"vulpecula"

- Right now, the vote is moving towards Byron. Hate it for him, but I am totally okay with that. He is pretty much the person that I have a small relationship with and he put a huge target in his back anyway. I am just trying to survive at this point and I don't think it is with Gev leaving the game at this point. Half my tribe seems pretty on board with it. And it's majority or bust for me in this first round.

"vulpecula"

- Incinerator out...

"vulpecula"

- Ok, one hour till the voting deadline, let's review what happened today...

-after we completed the challenge, Hickman added "we worked great together, if we somehow lose, i think none of us 7, INCLUDING GEVONTE, should be in danger. People agreed.

- i went to sleep. i woke up with Byron telling me that people wants Gevonte, and i must have misunderstood Hickman, as his idea wasn't including Gevonte.

- i wasn;t happy with this target, but i didn't had anyone in prefferences to be targeted (ok, maybe a little Nemo, but it's clear that it's impossible atm, so i am leaving this thought for future rounds)

- i went to Nathaniel and said "Gevonte is in danger".

-i talked with Nemo, who was unhappy about HOW Byron was approaching him about the vote

- Nathaniel came online, agreed that we can't let it happen and suggested to turn this around on Byron. i also mentioned him Nemo's reaction about Byron.

-Nathaniel went to talk with Nemo, and Nemo agreed to LEAD the vote on Byron.

if this happens, Nemo might feel like it's his move, but damn, call me cocky, but i believe it was my behind the scenes movement which made it happen.

"vulpecula"

- As we are about to close on Byron's journey, I am worried moving forward. I feel like everyone could be closer than I originally realized. I don't know what is actually going to happen outside of this. But I hope that I can pick myself up after this vote.

"vulpecula"

- Whew imagine waking up after a pretty mild talk with everyone just to hear that YOUR name in some random ass persons mouth???? I literally don't know what I did to Byron. Like we've talked, I felt at least some semblance of a connection, and now when we're out here. Everyone's too scared to say a name and he comes out and says mine??? I'm shook! Thankfully tho everyone like, immediately shot that down and it looks like it's a solid job reverse on him. But im still being cautiously optimistic. I know im not at 100% but I've been doing the best I can in such a large tribe to communicate and socialize with everyone but it's like, next to impossible to know everyone's true feelings until it's time to vote someone off. Thankfully I think still have SOME of my magic MOJO left so I'm praying im safe this round. All I have left to say is if you come for me you better come correct!

"monoceros"

- It was quite a relief to win the challenge! The dynamics of this tribe are very all over the place for me, so I don't think I was mentally prepared to vote someone else out. Currently, I'm in this 6-person majority alliance consisting of Loren, Devin, Catnip, Pendant, Samb, and I, and within that majority is a trio of Loren, Devin, and I. In addition I also have a 5-person alliance of Loren, Pendant, Natalie, Caeb, and I and within that alliance is a trio of Natalie, Caeb, and I. So my social game up to this point has given many alliances and sub-alliances and what makes it all complicated is that fairly soon, I'm going to have to make a choice about what "side" of my tribe I'm going to stick to. I'm very much relying on that strategy right now--bouncing around to wherever is going to keep me secure in this game. If I played the way I usually do, which is to act as a strategic mediator and control/influence every vote I take part in, then I'm not winning this game. That strategy has lost me way too many ORGs. I can't rely upon being overlooked by putting myself in the spotlight. The focus now for me is to go wherever the power is until I need to take matters into my own hands (so somewhere at the merge), and if along the way that means voting out people I'm close to, then I'm willing to do so. My time here isn't about anyone else except for me.

"monoceros"

- Glad we won the challenge because I wasn't there at all since it was a live challenge and my timezone is even shitter now that daylight savings are over, plus I was busy getting drunk and being big spoon by a fire all night so I wasn't about to wake up to join a discord call for a typing spam challenge. Now I don't have to worry about anything at all to do with this game for a couple of days and I can just kick back and enjoy doing actual irl shit for a bit. Could definitely get used to this not-having-to-worry-about-tribal stuff though, hope it lasts a while.

"monoceros"

- That wasn't coincidental foreshadowing and irony, I'm writing this after we already went to a double tribal next episode.