Board Thread:Survivor: Isla Del Sol (Season 10)/@comment-24985023-20150726195340/@comment-25097517-20150727182608

1. I did not ever mean to or really even want to use you, but I know I did. I thought of so many ways I could get myself out of the situation, but I figured if I didn't do it then, I never would, and then I would go to the end and regret letting myself be the goat when I had the choice, and I would've hurt the same amount of people I've hurt now. Since you are my friend, I figured that you would understand, because Andrei understood. I was wrong, completely and horribly wrong. I was told "He'll understand it's just a game. He'll understand. Stop worrying about it". The way you reacted shocked me, I didn't know what would happen because I'm always too scared to do anything like this. Yes, I was selfish, and I was too oblivious to realize how much you were doing for me because I'm so used to being someone else's lapdog that I was afraid I would just come here to get the whole "you suck, you didn't do anything" treatment. I thought I was just playing the game but in reality I hurt you, which I NEVER wanted to do.

The whole game up to your vote off, I was completely genuine with you. I told you everything I knew and everything you wanted to know. I also have worked really hard to not annoy people in tribe chats and I have a huge fear of that due to a past game. I had no idea that I was doing that, because I'm so oblivious and clueless in the way I come off to other people so I apologize for that too. It's something I need to work harder on I guess.

I owe a lot of my success in the game to you Ivan, however I felt like I also did it on my own, '''and the shortened answer to this whole thing is that you may have helped me get to this point, but I didn't fake or use personal connections or our friendship for game purposes. I intended for us to still be friends after and that's up to you whether that actually happens. The only thing I can do is say how sorry I am and let you decide the rest.'''

2. If I lose to Zane it's going to be because of this. Because of me becoming close (or at least I think you guys liked me as much as I liked y'all) with you guys, I was forced to hurt someone somehow no matter what I did. You can't be upset with Zane for voting some of you guys out because he wasn't close to you guys. You can knit pick his game, where as my flaws were in me voting off people close to me and that's more of an emotional thing rather than a handicap on my game.

Thanks for asking Ivan, and I hope you're at least somewhat satisfied.