Weird, Weird, Weird/Confessionals

Day 16
"monoceros"

- Oh gosh, where do I even start with how hyped I am for this win? Quizzer in me needed this, Only Connect fan in me needed this, overall practically in the game I sort of needed this cause I love being definitely safe. My threat levels will probably go off the roof, but they always are, so fuck it. I was a bit too dominant at times in a way where it could have irked people, but then also I very much made up for it with the other good answers I brought. I don't think I carried single-handedly (as much as I dislike Devin these days, he was the best player out of others, I think), I do think I contributed the most and that was very visible. I didn't feel that this was important to win for me for personal reasons as such, but I would have been absolutely shattered if we had lost this one, for personal reasons. The constellation is hyping me up and I love it, but I also try to stay humble in public for both game and general manners reasons.

"equuleus"

- Things are getting spicy on the himbo tribe! We ditched our inactive last round but we really don’t have any easy votes anymore. Even Natalie, who I’d previously considered the next easiest vote, has actually become someone I’d really like to work with. I was desperately hoping we wouldn’t end up in this position but Catnip is a robot who is just smarter than everybody else is, and we were completely outmatched in that challenge.

Caeb is my closest ally right now. He has a track record of making tight duos with a nonbinary social player, running the game with them and then making them the final juror (shoutout to Hoola and High!), and I’m determined to not let that final part happen to me, but I’m confident in him for a while. Anyway, we VCed immediately after the challenge and are pretty sure that whatever happens here, the 2 of us are in the middle.

Whether this vote comes down to Monoceros 1 vs Vulpecula 1, or Monoceros 2 vs Equuleus 1, we’re looking at a 3-3 split either way. But because of those interlocking connections, it’s going to be a 3-3 split where neither side is going to be able to agree on a name.

Caeb suspects that CJ and Natalie will want to vote Isaiah, since they were swapped with Matty, but neither Caeb or I want to flip on Isaiah. We also don’t want anyone to know we’re in a duo, and neither of us want to be publicly known as flippers yet, so we’ve tentatively agreed that our best course of action may be to vote with our respective original tribes and intentionally tie the vote, then we agree who will flip on the revote to avoid rocks. There are a lot of uncertainties going into this vote, but nobody can know how close I am to Caeb, so I think our best move may be to tie things and then figure it out from there.

"equuleus"

- I really want a win for my tribe in this round. The merge has to be on the horizon so I am hoping that we are able to win so we won't worry about voting one of our own out. I genuinely do like everyone on my tribe. But I am not sure what will happen if we do go to tribal council. I feel like I am personally in a good spot. But, I don't know if I have a plan for what happens if we do lose.

Day 17
"equuleus"

- Well I feel like crap for not being help in this immunity challenge. We got smashed. But, it is what it is. This vote is going to be a tough one. I feel like this is the first real vote this season where I have to put feelings aside. Which sucks. Right now, I feel like the options for me are Natalie and Caeb. I like them both a lot. And while Natalie doesn't give me much in terms of social stuff, she definitely is a number for me. Meanwhile, Caeb is definitely a sweet guy and I have enjoyed talks with him a lot more. But, I don't have a use for him strategically. He would definitely be loyal to someone else other than me. The problem is I don't know if I can get the numbers to get him out.

This one is gonna be tough...

"equuleus"

- LMAO JK I DON’T THINK IM VOTING OUT CAEB

"equuleus"

- Today is the day to see if my social skills are good or not. Basically it's me or Matty. I have keep up my relationship with Conch and he shared with me that I'm on the block. I figured with people not talking a ton to me but luckily i thought of a plan to put the votes on Matty. I hoping it works I believe I have 4 votes and that's enough to save me. Wish me luck!

"equuleus"

- As we are getting closer and closer to the deadline, I am getting nervous about the fact that we are getting rid of a solid number. I mean, I don't know how much Natalie is adding to my game. Like I can't rely on her relationships to help me down the line. But, I can rely on her vote. But at the same time, I would rather have go into the merge with 4 people who have decent trust with me than one or two that don't. I hope this is what is outweighing the benefit of voting Natalie out than keeping her. She is great, but at the same time I don't think there is much that I can do in this scenario.

"equuleus"

- Natalie told Isaiah she wanted to vote me....like what? I have less remorse now and I'm so confused. But maybe she's just getting wind that I am probably voting her out. Weird, Weird, Weird.

"monoceros"

- So I made such a meal about how I needed to undermine Loren and work to usurp his power on the tribe, but then ... he disappears for 2 whole days. I was so worried that he might have ultimate control over the tribe and might use it to undermine my position, but it turns out he just left the keys in the car unattended. So I'm swooping in, forming bonds with Okie and Nathaniel (not so much Nicole - time zone differences have made it hard) to help me out come a potential merge soon. Absolutely clowning on Equuleus in Only Connect certainly does help give me time to set up shop and prepare myself for what's coming next.

"equuleus"

- Can someone say "worst case scenario?" Because god fucking damn it, we lost. Genuinely, no one on Equuleus deserves to go, we all deserve to advance to the merge and that's a fact. What makes this vote especially troubling is, it seems the most logical decision is to vote against Natalie; taking out Conch or Isaiah means the risk of pissing others off in the game and that's not the energy I need heading into a potential merge. Similarly, my best foot forward in this game is likely by keeping them close and forming some kind of pact with them. Natalie's connections don't really run very far past Caeb and I, whereas Conch and Isaiah has more sway over the OG Vulpeculas. That being said, Natalie has been my girl since Day 1.. the thought of voting her out is killing me, and if I go through with it then I owe her a gigantic apology after this is all said and done. This next round better be a merge or I'm ejecting myself into the void of space.