I Can't Have Nice Things/Confessionals

Day 28
"messana"

- I came to a conclusion tonight after tribal and it kind of bummed me out. I brought up the idea of voting out Keaton eventually to Nadine, and she just dodged it so hard. I really enjoy Nadine and I trust her with most things, but I know that she's playing the best game (she has no enemies and tight relationships with Keaton, Fariha, and me) and she wants to take Keaton to FTC with her.

We have a Final 2 deal, but I just don't think she would turn down a FTC against Keaton, that's an easy win for her. I could probably get numbers to take out Keaton right now if I wanted, but it's just too soon. I'd be a huge target. Danielle or Carson is going next and I can live with that. But 100%, I can't let Keaton and Nadine make it deep into the game together. She's going to goat him if she has the chance.

I need to figure out how I'm going to get Fariha and Ben to side with me against Keaton and Nadine. Ben really likes Keaton and Fariha trusts Nadine. I think the easiest way for me to break them up is by finding that idol, that's the goal right now.

"messana"

- Voted out Jack C. because he kept lying to me and made an alliance without me in it. I think at least everyone in Tharros plus Fariha trusts me a lot at this stage. I'm not sure if it's a good thing.

I feel like from this point on, it's a matter of being careful about idols because original Zama would go on either me or Will for being bigger threats. I'd like to win immunity challenges for the next few rounds. Will seems to have some plans regarding Keaton, like going for him this round, but I expressed that I wouldn't want to go against him so soon. Like this, I feel there might be some awkward power struggle between us two but we'll see.

In fact, it's going to be a battle of logic and emotion for me.

"messana"

- So I found the idol lol.

"messana"

- Okay so before jack C went he gave me some valuable information.That Will went and told everyone that I was very close with Keaton and Nadine.And thats why the other group were not approaching me.Will is the mastermind here as I already guessed.He is very friendly too which makes him even a bigger threat.I wonder where the crack is in that group,cause I need to find it soon to survive.Maybe Ben,but I am not sure.Keaton is very hard to talk to and I have no idea what goes on in his mind.Lets see

Day 29
"messana"

- So it seems Will and I have been frontrunning based on the touchy subjects answers. I’m hoping I can win immunity this round so I don’t get fuked by idols. I may need to talk with Carson and Danielle later for better jury management points. Also, Aromal sucks.

Day 30
"messana"

- I havent made one of these in awhile but... I'm back!

so, i voted keaton over jack o and made it 5-4 instead of 6-3 because... i liked the people in the minority more and wanted to be with them more even if they went? makes sense i guess but dumb strategically but im not known for my strategic prowess.

then i got. really close to jack c i think and we had a lotta fun. and then he went ofc!!!! bc i cant have nice things (BUT I WON IMMUNITY THAT ROUND)

and now we're here. the jacks are on jury and hopefully me and danielle wont join them.

i really think that danielle doesnt like me and is just with me out of neccessity sdjksdkj bc i am pretty annoying! so i can see that.

ben is flat, know him from the genius 2 but he gives me the least. lied to me and said they were voting danielle last tribal.

keaton is... fun? doesnt give me much strategically.

nadine and i dont talk because of timezones but.. shes fun when she is on. but shes also the biggest threat because of how much everyone else likes her.

will is... will. hes a mess. he just is.. kinda strategic but also pretty messy and just... id prefer him out because itd be a catalyst. (also because seeing him get attacked in jury by the jacks would be fun)

and fariha! me and fariha have had an up and down relationship this game. originally i saved her so now im hoping she can throw me a bone and save me so we can move forward. probably my #1.

ALSO I WON REWARD AND IM WORKING MY ASS OFF TO GET THIS IDOL! will and ben left out the "but has no individual wins" portion of the first clue so it really helped narrow it down so now danielle and i have increased chance of finding it so we're praying.

we seem to be targetting will because nadine/keaton/fariha MIGHT be up for that which is all we need. they also might be splitting votes which would be perfect. if they split votes and we can get some people to flip, we'd be golden, and we can keep going on

"messana"

- This is stressful as HELL. Honestly I thought it was funny that Ben won immunity without knowing how idols actually work, when others needed it more. Good for him though!

So, Ben and Keaton are going to split votes, along with Fariha, then Danielle and Carson are talking to me, and apparently Danielle is trying to turn Keaton against Will. Will also expressed on getting Keaton out. Danielle is making Will out to be a snake to others.

I know almost everyone wrote down my name as the one they trust with their life, but see, I can't save everyone, I'm not a hero nor a villain

"messana"

- Danielle's trying to target me now I guess :/ It's almost definitely not going to work, but I still feel just sad. I wish we could have worked together because she's such a cool person, it just didn't work out.

I'm thinking she has an idol, and that's why we're splitting the vote. 3 on Danielle, 2 on Carson. I'm very confident that nobody is flipping, but if she plays that idol I'm going to tie with Carson probably..yikes.

"messana"

- bitch