Nothing personal, just a game, love all three of you <3

https://youtu.be/cNlP3F5qoQc

• • • • NOTE: I mentioned "voting for Perry to win resurgence" im legit on crack i didnt even make jury that season, I must have been thinking of my mental jury vote LMAO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4UgxK8QnUk&feature=youtu.be

Before I get into my speech, I’d just like to say that I adore all 3 of you on a personal level. After this is done, I’d love to continue building friendships with you guys and think you’re all wonderful people. With that being said, I will be harsh on you guys and your game play but I hope you know that what I think of your game does not reflect on how I think of you as a person. xoxo

Alright hello ladies. Congratulations on making it to the end. I’m not exactly thrilled to see any of you here but here you are so you did #THAT! 

Asa I’m going to start off with you. I thought about not even addressing you but I think that the jury needs to hear this and you need to hear it to make you a better player in the future. Please take this as constructive criticism and I hope you’re not hurt. 

Looking at your 703 history, I thought that you’d be a force to be reckoned with in this game but then I met you and realized why you keep making it to the end. I looked back on your previous FTC’s and noticed that you have not changed your gameplay at all other than your lack of challenge ability in the post merge phase of this game. If this was your first season and you were a first time finalist maybe I’d give you a pass but let’s be clear this is LEGENDS and you’re a previous winner. There is no way anyone can look at your gameplay and consider it to be legendary and if you wanna be the Sandra Diaz-Twine, you need to earn it and you didn’t. You were so hard to talk to in this game. Pulling teeth is easier than getting information out of you. Game wise the only conversations we’d have was to confirm a vote and on a personal level I barely know anything about you, I had to find out you have a boyfriend from Torsa! You appeared to have no drive in the game and constantly abstaining from challenges in the merge was honestly insulting to me. 

And let’s make one thing very clear. You were essentially voted out. We knew you’d take up a spot in the end and we tried to do something about it. The vote was put onto Christine on purpose for her light pearl to negate a vote so people saying Christine could have just as easily gone are wrong. You’re lucky Alissa didn’t wake up and then that Torsa got removed. For most people, that would have been a wake up call to play but you became less social (at least with me) and still barely put an effort into the challenges. Another thing that rubbed me the wrong way about your game was, as Fitz mentioned, your move to New Zealand. I don’t sign up for games unless I know I have the time to commit to them and you obviously knew you were moving to another country, this kind of thing doesn’t just happen over night. Why sign up to play a game when you don’t have time… I don’t get it. 

Your opening statement was weak and your answers are literally non existent. As a juror I find your lack of participation in this final tribal and in the game to be extremely disrespectful. Own up to you game. You should have come in here and been like WHO THE FUCK LET ME GET HERE YOU GUYS SUCK LOOK AT WHAT I DID! Stop hiding behind the shadows, just because you’re a nice person does not mean that people would see you differently if you asserted yourself. Own your game, be proud of yourself. Show off that you’re smart enough and talented enough to move across the globe and go study for a year. Dye your hair purple! Tell me to fuck off for attacking your game! 

At this point, you have no shot at receiving my vote so I won’t waste your time with asking you questions. I hope that next time I see you playing a game, you take some of this criticism and apply it to your game play.  Sorry for being harsh you’re an amazing person ily <3 

Christine and Eva, before I address you both individually I’d just like to state that it’s pretty pathetic that you haven’t spoken to one of the people sitting next to you in weeks. At times I suspected the feud was fake because it just seemed so unrealistic to me that two people who wanted to win this game would just flat out ignore each other. Although I did find it comical and it would make great TV, seeing you two here together is kind of sad and shows just how badly you both failed at this game. 

Eva:

Seeing you on my tribe after Hallasan, I was beyond petrified to be playing with you. I personally really liked you but I knew the feeling was not mutual. With that being said, I enjoyed being the hags of the season and loved talking to you about personal things and just getting to know you. 

I think you were your own worst enemy in this game Eva. I don’t think you played a bad game at all, in fact it’s impressive that you were targeted for so long and yet you’re still here but I struggle to look past your remarks throughout the game. It appeared that you were trying to throw punches before you could get punched but no one wanted to punch you so a bunch of people have black eyes and now your hands are injured. (that sounds stupid but I think you get my point) It felt like you were so worried you’d be criticized that you told people to criticize you and that you’d fight back. I had mostly pleasant experiences with you in the game but at times I felt uncomfortable approaching you. In the back of my mind I’d always be like “is she gonna go tell the tribe chat? will this be in her next tribal answer?” and I think that really hindered us from having a game relationship post merge. 

The thing I appreciate the most about your game is your drive and passion. While it was portrayed in a negative way, I at least appreciated that you showed your desire to be in this game. You never gave up, even when you went through personal hardships you still gave everything you could to this game. 

I just have one question for you (because YOUSEF STOLE MY OTHER ONE! TRAITOR) The round I left you told me you’d play the idol on me without me asking you to. My assumption is that you were going to but then I made a boo boo in telling you Christine was not voting for me and that you got scared that her and I would vote Asa or Fitz together and that’s why you backed out? Is my assumption correct or were you just trying to butter me up going to jury? I don’t need in depth answers or anything I’m just curious. 

Christine:

Actual evidence of you emerging as the clear winner of the season.

Christine. My daughter I’m very happy for you and proud to see you make the end after being the first boot in Port Royal. I keep seeing that you make the end in a lot of games which is amazing but you consistently fail to get enough votes to win and I can see why. After playing with you, I feel like you lack a certain instinct that it takes to play a really strong game. I think you played a good game but not a great one. Considering the two people you’re sitting next to, you appear to be the lesser of three evils. You had an okay social game, an alright strategic game and an above average physical game which is not saying much but it’s at least better than the other two? There’s no strong specific negatives or positives that I can point out about your game. I really loved playing with you finally and I’m still waiting on you to send me the group pic from Rodney Bowl… 

Good luck to the three of you, love you all <3 

nnn hi yall ! this is jessy btw... LKJSLKSJ

i don't have a lot to say... i think!

christine, i wanna know why you leaked the information i would tell you because it was a shocker to learn from alissa that you'd tell evan about my double vote and tell eddie about how i was going to vote against him LSKSLSKS and then when we talked about it later in the game, i gave you a chance to own up to it and you never did and instead said you thought i leaked her light pearl. can i just get an explanation on all this because i was pretty confused as to why you put evan over me, since i thought we had a really good relationship. i know that i was doing something on my own behalf by voting eddie out, but i thought you'd understand considering i was being told him and chris n wanted my ass to be grass, and i didn't even want to blindside you despite knowing the risk that the visionary group could find out (which they did and i had to own up to it). i just wanna know why that all happened. good job on 0 votes btw you're still POINTLESS!!!! (im kidding nn)

eva, i don't really have much to say i guess LSKSLKSLS i'll just ask why you lied about voting for evan in the beginning of the merge andrea_for_no_reason!.gif i didn't see the point behind it, nnn also just wanted to apologize if you ever felt like i wasn't reciprocative in our alliance because after reading your rop i feel like we have different viewpoints on what really happened. it felt like i tried my best to maintain an alliance between us despite our different agendas, but it just didn't work out i guess. maybe knowing more about your feelings on that (our alliance and why you think it failed) could also help clear up everything for me.

asa, i don't have much to ask so i'll just congratulate you on making it to ftc 3/3 times on 703! i feel like that's being overshadowed by everything and thought you should be congratulated.

that's all i really have to say, before i end this i just wanna say even though this season was dark sided that you guys made it to ftc in a rlly difficult season so be proud of that! i get the feeling that some of you guys might be feeling down from how speeches are going because it is a game and we all wanna win but just good job on being able to go through everything. none of us are saints and can please everyone (unless ur torsa x)

alright bye thanks 4 reading!

"I had to think this game was fun to survive .. I had to lie to myself."

Hello finalists! It’s only right that I start this with a congratulations to you all, you girls have successfully outlasted 21 all-stars en route to making it to Day 39. Christine, this is your second time here, and Asa this is your third, and all three of you will be entering the Top 10 in days lasted in 703 after this, so good job on all of these accomplishments.

Anyways, I’ll preface this and say I won’t be in the clearest mindset or brightest mood while doing this. Maybe it’s just me, but when ‘unintentional X(((‘ outside interference cripples you and your closest ally’s games at a pivotal round, when that illegal information may have been twisted to further bury said games, and when a challenge is inexplicably changed to something other players directly suggested and have experience winning, then it’s certainly safe to say that I barely had a leg to stand on in a game I badly wanted to win. I had my flaws, I clearly could’ve hid my relationships with Christine and Sam better, maybe flipped a round later, but being handicapped in the way I was, along with my closest ally Alissa, still leaves a shitty taste in our mouths, and no revisionist history will convince us otherwise. Anyways, I know this will more than likely be brushed aside by biased agendas and blind enabling aka ORG politics 101, so allow me to move onto what’s important, and that’s which one of you is going to win, because this season is coming to a close.

ASA:

Asa, this one’s a little conflicting, because if we were gonna go off likability as a human being, you’d have a great shot, because oddly enough you can win over some juries by virtue of knowing their favorite ice cream flavor. Or if we were voting off statistics and not context, you would deserve a unanimous win, because any two-time finalist/former winner who gets to the end a third time must have done something spectacular to have made the end a third time .. right? Well I’ll try breaking this down.

Unfortunately, you just didn’t play a social game, to such an extent where even someone like me, Evan Manziel is taking notice. I suppose the concerning thing is, this wasn’t a case of you being unlikable/rude to other players, no, you just gave little to no effort when it came to developing relationships with me and most of this jury. It’s really confusing to me because you’re clearly nice, sweet, and talented, but as far as I’m concerned you only went at lengths to talk to Perry and Fitz. Had you been a little more friendly with the jury yet remained low in the game like you did, you could’ve been 703’s Sandra, but at this venture in the game it’ll be very hard pressed to cast a vote for you knowing your presence was barely detectable. This appears to be a recurring theme in your seasons - the first time it didn’t work out for you (Tucker if you’re reading this you’re losing Angel Falls), the second time it did, and now we’ll find out what happens your third.

Strategically, I don’t have a real grasp of what your plans were moving forward. As a positive, you were in the majority more often than Christine/Eva were, and found yourself in pivotal positions, but it appears you just went with the flow and took on Fitz’s lead. I felt like you two had a Ken/David relationship in MVGX, where Fitz carried most of the workload, only for you to make the rather obvious decision to cut him at the end. As far as the idol play is concerned, it was a nice play, but Fitz feels as if he was responsible for it in telling you where the votes were headed. This is where you can separate yourself, because as far as a lot of us were concerned, Fitz carried the work of your duo, but if you would like to respond and tell this jury otherwise, by all means I encourage this.

On a side note, while I’m never going to devalue someone’s game because of luck, I just need to point out that had Alissa not dealt with a 6 AM voting deadline, you would’ve been voted out at F8, and that you reluctantly won both an idol and immunity in an auction the round you were actually being targeted in. Honestly, I can’t even be mad about that lol

Anyways, tl;dr Asa, I’ll cut the formalities and say I don’t think I’ll be voting for you this FTC. You’re a really good person so this isn’t a slight against you personally, I simply believe your game doesn’t stack up for you to win over this jury, because it really feels disconnected compared to who you’re up against. On a brighter note, regardless of this result, you can flip off the ORG world and say “I went 3 for 3 in making FTC and you didn’t”, so have fun w/ that!

EVA:

I’m just going to give a warning on really short notice and say this isn’t going be pretty because I have issues with both your game and how you carried yourself throughout it. It feels like the jury’s wanted to almost butter this feud up and prepare you for some shitstorm, but I’m not gonna play into that noise, naturally grievances will be aired, but we’re adults and we can either mutually talk this out or just agree to disagree and go our separate ways, so let’s fire away. While your ROP made me consider absolving all of what I’m about to say, I’d only be fooling myself if a written assignment whose direct objective is to pander to the booted players would magically make me forgive and forget.

I’ve actually had most of this written since Final 6, as there wasn’t a single conceivable scenario in my mind where you would be voted out, but your speech opened some doors. By theory, your strategy and attitude this season was an excellent method to reach Day 39, as you had a blueprint, you executed it, and now you’re here. Now, was it a winning plan …? Nein. Because behind that mask, there actually had to be substance, like strings being pulled, people being worked over, a long term strategy, however I can’t find any of that. Your speech felt like an explanation for your behavior, which that and the intentions behind it will be the crux of my speech, yet you mentioned little of your strategy. So in this scenario, yes, a 5 page essay on your game may have turned some heads, because we all want to see what went on behind the curtains.

So let’s jump into the big picture, that being your whole attitude throughout the season, whether it be the research papers your wrote for tribal answers, or the vindictive callouts in the tribe chat, a lot of which came off as shitty to myself, jurors sitting here, and, if I’m being frank, sometimes even your closest allies. If I had to centralize everything, I’d describe it as both hypocritical and entitled, which I’ll expand upon later.

I get it, surpriiiiise, it was an act. As to how much of it was though? I don’t know, I really don’t, so let’s find out.  You wanted to play some sort of game with all the tribal answers you provided, right? Then allow me to play it as well and give my counterargument on the points you made. Whether said quote was part of an act or a genuine feeling, I don’t know, but I’m going to address them regardless.  

 “Also one other issue I have is I feel the first three votes indicated an overall lack of respect for the bootees.” “Sidenote @ Gongsang: How nice for y'all to vote Annabelle out unanimously, have fun following her because one of you are about to. BAAAAA”

So were you actually.. on the other tribes? Hey I get it, you wanted a default link-up with a League friend come a swap, but masking that dissatisfaction with the act of a righteous player with all-knowing judgement regarding who does and doesn’t deserve to go wasn’t the stealthiest method to go about it.

“One thing that DOES scare me in this game is people's potential desire to do random shit just for the sake of 'it's Legends!!1!'”

Yeah, random shit like telling Sam, who was clearly on her way out with no items in hand, that you wanted to save her with your idol only for you to renege on the deal.

 “My relationships with Fitz, Sam, Asa, Tori, and Jessy are squared away (as far as they've told me) and I've told them at length how I feel bad about my words if they truly hurt them."

I’m covering Alissa and I’s flip later but this was nonsensical and quite frankly blasphemous. You literally apologized to everyone but the people you lashed out at, which remains one of the bigger logical disconnects I’ve witnessed and just about the entire jury is still dumbfounded by that. Don’t get the rationale, don’t think I ever will.

“And what will I get for it? More lies, more backstabbing, and if I do somehow make it to the end, a nice hearty 'not good enough' from the people on the jury who certainly weren't good enough themselves but feel quite superior and pleased with themselves.” “If I have to deal with the outcome of your tantrums either when I'm voted out or as a finalist, I really don't care so keep your feelings to yourselves. or take what I've said and apply some perspective. xoxo gossip girl”

This is the richest one, and while I can elaborate a hell of a lot farther, you should probably consider how you’ve acted during your previous voteoffs where you pronounce the remaining players as complete shit and awful people, yet when the roles reverse, the narratives magically do as well. I’m no moralist, but you and I both know Survivor doesn’t work like that, and quite frankly, neither does life. If you want to dish it out, you better be able to take it, and there’s no skating around that.

What’s interesting is that you clearly were still in the game during these responses, yet, it’s as if you felt this intrinsic need to address a jury you haven’t communicated with, and to have this sudden gut feeling that they’re already going to be upset with you. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to know that if you’re taking those premature shots at the jury, there had to be some internal discontent with how your game was shaping up, and a need to bring out a defense mechanism because of that by pointing your finger to the jury and saying “Hey, you know what, you guys are flawed too, look in the mirror”. Well .. yeah. Clearly we all did something wrong to have been voted out, some more so than others, but no one here’s going to be simple-minded enough to void you of criticism, because oddly enough, there is a concept named accountability that does exist.

To carry on from this, I’d say a major theme I picked up with your game is projection. You projected the other tribes as lazy, non-contributing, disrespectful, etc. when you were losing pre-merge challenges and you projected the jury as bitter and irrational when you started losing your allies and as your game broke down. It’s as if whenever adversity struck, you took the easy route by pointing the finger and placing blame on everyone else but yourself. You’re right when you say no one made it unscathed, as every single one of us had our hardships, and not one person skated through this season start to finish with total control. The difference is, when the rest of us were put into difficult situations, we believed in ourselves and fought for our positioning and survival, and we certainly never went the aforementioned alternate route.

Now I’m going to address the incident regarding Chris B’s voteout, where apparently me and Alissa were "vile and the scum of the earth" over a vote best for our games. No, while that didn’t make me lose sleep at night, I’m certainly going to choose not to forget that while I’m casting my vote. I understand that you felt some inherent moral obligation to defend your close friends, I do, because a lot of what I’m speaking up for isn’t only for myself, it’s for Alissa as well, who, because of this vote, dealt with illegal repercussions that completely fucked her game from Final 9 on, and no hot takes or narratives can change that.

You felt justified in your words after the vote because us flipping hurt your allies on an emotional level. Understood, but if you thought that was our intention, if you think we’re genuinely shitty people whose sole objective was to break people with our votes, instead of advancing ourselves in a game, then I just don’t think you know who we are. Actions in Survivor can be misinterpreted, after all, we constantly try to walk the fine line between the decisions best for our individual games and the personal relationships we form. It’s a line that, however many years or however many games you play, I don’t think anyone has a precise answer or explanation for, and anyone that thinks they have the answer is lying to themselves.

Alissa and I didn’t go out of our way to try to know Chris’ deepest secrets and exploit them, as anything personal we shared came naturally, not out of request. He wasn’t voted out through malice. The auction stacked him with power, and your decision to use my name as a vote to the outcasts at Final 13 painted a clear picture that in the alliance of 5 that I was the first being thrown to the wolves when push comes to shove. So naturally, me being 5 was confirmed by Chris on his way out, I gained additional confirmation from the jury that there was plotting against me ever since the NL vote, Torsa told me after the vote she respected and understood the move.. I don’t need to go on. Trust me when I say I’m not a sociopathic assassin that derives pleasure from emotionally inflicting pain on others, I’m sorta kindaaaa just out here to play Survivor, but if that’s your read on who I am, then unfortunately there will be no resolution.

Now while actions can be difficult to analyze, I find that words are easier to interpret, because they’re direct and straightforward. There was a clear intent to degrade Alissa and myself, and therefore it’s an intent that I’m taking into account with my decision tonight. I was ready to be held accountable for my flip and the potential loss of a few jury votes with one fell swoop, so naturally it’ll be tit for tat when you wanted to insert your take in the tribe chat. It was ill-advised, rash, and at this point, any apples to oranges spiel comparing a logical vote to a direct outburst is a bullshit narrative.

On a side note, your personal feud with Christine still baffles me and everyone else. As for announcing your innocence in starting the feud and calling it two-sided, that’s not going to work at all. First off no, no one is treating the situation like you killed her family or cat, Fitz literally said it, it was just petty and vindictive. He doesn’t need to have a “stan-boner” for Christine on the jury to see that it was over the top and contrived. When I asked you what the beef was early merge you said that she was “greedy” and “it comes from the fact that I hate her”. Shocking development here, it’s almost as if .. Survivor itself is a greedy game? You two went your separate ways at the second swap, and you chose to isolate her and not anyone else who didn’t vote with you. So sure, hold the vendetta against her in the game, go for it, but to say it’s two-sided is completely off-base considering she only started firing back long after you went at her. That being said, for all the dialogue you threw at her, she’s here now, you were at her mercy during the Final 4 tribal, and she chose to bring you here against some of the very people you wanted to belittle and the exact people she formed strong relationships with, so yeah, it really is great to see how the stories write themselves out.

Anyways, if I’m going to look at your game which you didn’t want to detail, I’ll try myself. You’ve voted in the minority a few times, and ultimately you never had much influence over the votes, but then again, oh well, neither did Christine or Asa. While I understood your method of wanting to be open and honest as a means of advancing, you should know that’s not an immediate guarantee of finding a stable position. Rather, you need to constantly be strategizing, exploiting relationships, aligning the chess pieces, all that fun stuff.

As a side note, immediately closing the door whenever someone opposed you felt like a painfully poor one-dimensional strategy considering that every round presents a new opportunity. If someone fucks you over, it’s not that difficult to at least bluff a degree of understanding instead of being consumed by what felt like excessive pride.  There were numerous occasions for you to rebuild bridges, but instead you rendered yourself devoid of any potential allies and openings, only for you to publicly question why that was the case. Everyone lies in Survivor, and the fact that I even have to explain this is absurd. You  had no problem toying with Sam’s trust on a couple occasions, yet the world appeared to be falling whenever someone did it to you. We literally all signed up for this game filled with suspicion and betrayal, and I felt like had you embraced that ideal, you could’ve had a sizable shot at the end.

I will say that you had big moves in mind, they just never panned out, so while I can appreciate the thought, I can’t reward the execution. Also, concerning the “I tried my hardest and it won’t be rewarded” tangent during one tribal answer, I can’t give you any points there, because a lot of us wanted to win just as badly as you did - no one’s more deserving than the other by pure effort, especially in this twisted game we paly. So while your intentional goating was a good idea to get you to the end, the question remains now what – you still needed people you can beat, you still needed some relationships formed outside the ones you burned, and those remain difficult to find.

This was a lot but if there’s an opportunity to say what’s on my mind, yeah, I’m gonna take it. You said you were willing to talk 1 on 1 to anyone to address any issue at hand, let’s see if we can when this is all said and done. While I truly hope what I read from your ROP were your true feelings and that what I witnessed in the game was predeterminant, in a critical time like this, I simply refuse to blindly assume anymore.

I’m not giving you any questions because I’m personally not a fan of baiting my jury vote and asking nonsensical questions like “compare each jury member to a fictional character XDDD” or “tell me why I should vote for you after .. all you did to me))))):“ because that’s unnecessary, I can't vote for you and I'm glad you already understand that.

CHRISTINE:

I’m really glad to see you’ve made it to this point and I want to say congratulations for making it to Day 39 again. As your friend and ally I feel indebted to root you on this FTC, but for now I’ll try to remain somewhat objective in my analysis.

Your game was nothing short of a roller coaster, you started off being in an extremely vulnerable position dating all the way back to Day 6, but a swap gave you new life, and it made you head into the merge with numbers and connections. The numbers fell out of your control again, and you voted in the minority multiple times. You never had a safe position like Asa/Eva did for spouts, and you were generally quiet and reserved for so long, something that’s buried you in previous FTC’s and something that may be fatal this season.

…Fatal if you were at FTC with anyone else, but you’re not, and that’s why I’m telling you that you have a phenomenal shot at taking this entire thing. For some odd reason, people failed to realize that while you were staying in the minority, you were close with the jury that was piling up in Ponderosa -  Eddie, Chris NL, me, Alissa, the list goes on. When the spotlight finally shined on you and the crosshairs were locked on, you turned up the heat and won the crucial immunities you needed to. This is a classic underdog tale, and while it’s not anything groundbreaking or revolutionary, it’s more than effective, and you made it here and I’m proud. It actually parallels (hold on I hope I don’t vomit) .. Michele Fitzgerald, however like Alissa said, there are no Aubry’s at the end with you.

I always wondered why you never, I suppose .. took more of a lead while playing, or in Evan terms, why you were such a beta, but, I’ve realized that Survivor and the method in which you play, more times than not, is representative of who you are. Asa was still shy, I was an alpha, Chris NL lied for the sake of lying, Yousef’s probably still scrambling for votes, Samantha still sounds like a chipmunk, you get the idea. Anyways, I guess what I’m getting at is that I went from questioning the method you played by to being accepting of it, you don’t have to be this loud outspoken player if that’s not who you are, rather you should just maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses to the best of your ability, which I feel like you did this season.

Also, I’d like to speak up for anyone that doubted your effort this season, because I’ll point to two things. First, when your life was presumably on the line during the triple tribal, you blew everyone out of the water in the challenge and carried your tribe, and next, I’m still blown away by you going 46 whole hours for the endurance in the final 4 immunity. That’s passion, that’s dedication, and it’s not going unnoticed, trust me.

I’ll try to put a bow on this, soo, strategically, you get a tie with Eva and trail Asa a little, none of you obtained total control of the season, much less glimpses of it, and you were all labeled goats at points in the game. However, Christine, you separated yourself from the pack physically and socially, as here you are with 4 immunity wins on your belt (a couple by circumstance but anyways ..), no votes against you, and a lot of people rooting for you on this jury. You weren’t absent and detached like Asa was and you never went on the tirades Eva did, you stayed true to yourself, and now the win is within sight.

That’s why I’ll end this by saying in a season plagued by the controversies it was, you broke out of your shell and shined bright in what became a pretty dark place. You never wavered, you kept the faith, and when the opportunity presented itself, you seized it and took control of your own fate. That’s why I’m casting my vote for you to win and I hope you receive a few more. I’m really proud of you and want to say thank you for being my friend and ally this season.

3000+ words later, I’ll reiterate that I really don’t have any direct questions for you girls, rather responses if you feel a need to do so. Legends was an experience, and at this point, I’m fucking spent, I’m sure you all are too, so let’s get this thing over with because I want to hightail out of here.

PS CAST ALISSA GRAF AND I FOR THE AMAZING RACE DO IT FOR THE CULTURE

ANYWAYS, thank you 703 for the memories, and it’s been a pleasure.

-Evan

Hiiiii betches! i would like to start off by congratulating the 3 of you on making it as far as you possibly could this season! No matter how you got here that deserves some sort of recognition in my opinion.

This season has been exhausting and emotionally taxing for all of us (or at least for me), i’m personally not in the mood to write a long speech, i’m sure you ladies don’t wanna read a long speech either, so i’ll try to get straight to point with y’all.

Let it be known that i am 99% sure i am voting for Christine, based off everything i witnessed while still in the game (I made it all the way to day 37, i don’t feel like there’s much i really missed) but i still feel like i should give the other 2 of you a chance by asking you a few questions and giving you my thoughts on your gameplay / having you explain yourselves) If you don’t want to bother then you can just… not respond, there is no reason for me to lie and say i’m fully undecided, so i hope you guys can respect that! 

​​​​​​I guess i’ll start off with miss Asa!

Asa, i’d to begin by saying i’m sorry if my goodbye message made it seem like i didn’t enjoy talking to you, i was trying to emphasize the fact that most of the time, i had to do a lot of work to get the convo going and that it seemed like you weren’t really interested in me or what i had to say at one point or another, that doesn’t take away from the fact that i really did enjoy getting to know you and i hope we can remain friends after this is all over!

You’ve managed to make it to the end all 3 times, that is fucking insane, no matter how we feel about your game, that is impressive and i applaud you. That being said, I don’t wanna keep beating around the bush so… my issue with your game is how horrendous your social was. I thought you might’ve just not really been into our convos but i was shocked to find out most of this jury feels they don’t know you at all, most of them actually didn’t even know you had moved to New Zealand half-way through the season, that alone says a lot in my opinion. We did have some really nice convos, and we got quite personal but i do think we can both agree that was me constantly messaging you and trying to get something out of you, nonetheless i got to know a lot about you by the end of the season so i guess that’s worth something. Another thing that really bothers me i guess is the way you handle confrontation, when i came up to you during the tribal i was sent home in, i tried to speak to you and you told me you had to go shower, you never got back to me and you just cast your vote against me without letting me even get a word or two in, it was a little hurtful i guess, because i was hoping you’d at least let me make my pitch, but it’s also really bad gameplay. What really put me off though is the fact that you failed to mention how much help you got when you did play the rock on Fitz that round, i’m not gonna get into whether that move was mine of Fitz’s because we’re both no longer in the game and it’d be irrelevant but we both played a pretty big part in that decision and to see you try and take credit for it irks me a little. Like you failed to mention that I purposely voted in the minority and told you and Fitz that the vote was him or that Yousef had tipped off Eva about you being the vote so he could get in her good grace later on (before he had decided he wanted to vote for Fitz) which caused Fitz to be suspicious. I do respect you voting off Fitz at the final 4, that being said, i don’t think it really has that big of an impact, especially not when the other option was Eva who i think everyone wanted in the end with them. It felt like a half move to me i guess because we both know Christine would’ve been the one booted had she not won the individual immunity. 

Questions:

1. What makes you a better player than Christine or Eva?

​​​​2. While i realise moving to a different continent is a radical change, did you not think your lack of socialising would end up costing you? How do you justify that?

Now let’s move onto Eva!

Id like to start off by thanking you for somewhat owning up to your mistakes in your ROP, it meant a lot, because that entire situation made me super uncomfortable and i was upset at the fact that it got so personal over a game move. (Even though i realise Chris and Torsa were hurt by Evan and i flipping i don’t feel that warranted what happened afterwards) I don’t know whether you truly meant what you said, but judging by the way you’ve played the game i’ll believe it tbh. I don’t think it erases all that’s happened but it personally gave me a lot of closure, so again i really appreciate it and i would also like to apologise to you if you ever felt anything i did in the game was personal because it wasn’t my intention and i think you realise that by now.  i’m gonna be completely honest and say i’m pretty sure i will not be casting my vote for you to win, it’s a combination of both the way things went down between us and your game itself which i’m not totally impressed with. 

Whenever someone did anything you weren’t on board with, you would pretty much shun them for the rest of the experience, or at least until you realised you had no one left and had to pick your poison. That to me is terrible gameplay, i realise it helped get you to the end, which i will give you credit for, but it also turned a lot of the jurors against you, most of us feel very put off by your behaviour. It’s not just Evan and i. I’m also not sure whether you genuinely believed Evan/Christine and i were this powerful trio  (We were not) or if you were saying it to get a target on our backs but i feel as though that was the major reason Christine and i even started bonding so i had to clear that up i guess? because i’m not sure where that rumour started. After the Chris boot, you basically ignored Evan, Christine and i’s existence, other than the fights we’d have publicly and the digs i’m sure were made in private, it felt like we weren’t even in the game anymore, i realise communication is a 2 way street but… you made it crystal clear you wanted nothing to do with any of us and i don’t understand how you felt that would look good on your resume later on, because surprise, surprise, 2/3 of us are on jury and you’re in the final 3 asking for our votes. Just like Asa, i feel as though you lack social skills, but it’s an even bigger issue, because unlike her, you were very aggressive and entitled at times. (Or so i felt) By early merge, the entire cast thought of you as a goat, most wanted you in the f3 with them because they felt they could beat you, i understand that was part of your strategy but you never made the moves you needed near the end to wow the jury or end up with people who were just as unlikeable. So it kind of gives me the impression that you really were a goat, one with a lot of attitude. I think it’s pretty obvious how i feel about your game, i just don’t… get it. I’ll obviously ask you a few questions and maybe that’ll help me see where youre coming from? I’m still giving you a chance, i just don’t think i’ll ever really wanna cast my vote for you. 

One thing i was super annoyed by though, is how mad you were at Evan and i for flipping on you Chris and Torsa, for one, it’s pretty clear how close you guys are, Torsa would literally tell me she was worried about flipping on y’all because it’d probably affect your friendship and that she felt she was trapped because of it? If that isn’t a sign Evan and i were on the outs idk what is. Even after Chris’ vote off she told me she got it because one of Evan or i would’ve probably been blindsided at some point. Like it just baffles me… Another thing is, i felt like what you were saying just didn’t apply to you at all, like i remember in BAR:AS you voted off your best friend Tyler premerge, and you expected him and all of us to understand… You obviously built some personal relationship with him before doing it… Does that not make you exactly what you tried to paint Evan and i to be? (Even though the only personal convo i had with Chris was a week before the season started) It made me really upset because i wanted to say all of that then and there but i couldn’t so i had to take whatever was thrown at me which i felt was straight up BS. From what I’ve noticed, every time someone doesn’t align with you in the long run, you get super upset and you refuse to talk to them or even acknowledge their presence, Like when we played Siwa together i loved you so much? You were an absolute sweetheart to me, but the second we’re not on the same page / we’re on different sides it feels like you absolutely despise me… or that i’ve killed your first born and you can’t even look at me. I guess this paragraph is a mix of both my perception of your your game and my personal feelings towards you… idk. I will say, i respect the fact that when you had something to say you would say it in public, it might not have been the best for your game and it might’ve really upset me/Evan/Christine, but it does show me that you’re genuine even if we're clearly not on the same page. So that’s definitely a plus. 

I also have to address your speech, threatening the jury isn’t really a good a move on your part, i understand you’re not in the mood to like, be scolded but a lot of us were left a little annoyed. To me it basically meant you were aware you would be shit on… which kinda proves you knew your gameplay wouldnt get you too far with the jury? It makes it seem like you already know you're done.

I will applaud you for carrying on even with all that’s been going on in your real life, that isn’t easy and i hope your situation is better now? I genuinely mean that!

Questions: 

1. What makes your game better than Christine's and Asa's?

2. What is one move YOU made, that YOU came up with and YOU executed? 

​​​​​​3. Have you learned anything from this game? Whether it be game or personal, do you feel you’re leaving with a new perspective on anything? I'm not expecting a certain answer, i'm genuinely curious. 

And finally, Christine!

God, where do i even begin, i guess i’ll start with my personal feelings towards you? omg okay, so, coming in, i really didn’t think we’d get along, we have such different personalities that i didn’t like… see us meshing well together, but my god was i wrong, when Evan left, i felt so alone, i had fallen out with most of the cast on a game level, and then i started to really get to know you, i felt like you were the only one really willing to hear me out, it meant a lot, i think that’s one of my favourite if not my favourite thing about this season, getting to meet you, you’re such a sweetheart and i’m so glad you stayed the way you are throughout the entire season, you are the epitome of class and i have the upmost respect for you on a personal level.

I am just as impressed with your game, when you needed to make a move, you made it, when you needed to stay out of things and let the flashier players take the fall, you did it, you made sure you were never the biggest threat without coming off as a mindless goat, it was the perfect mix. You made sure the players going to Ponderosa knew you were involved in the moves made, without pissing them off, you PLAYED the game and the fact that some of these other jurors are trying to take that away from you is gross. You don’t win this game by being the most strategic or the most social, you win this game by making sure you don’t get booted when your name is thrown out and ensuring you make the end with people you can beat, and you’ve managed to do both of these things. That is all there is to it. I hope you take this as a compliment because it’s definitely meant to be one, but in my opinion you played a very Michele-esque type of game, except you managed to make sure there was no Aubry to compete against you. Like you ended up at FTC with the 2 players we all knew would get the least amount of praise, that is fucking impressive. While it is true that you voted in the minority a lot, it also shows how loyal you were throughout this season (which i don't think is a weakness tbh)  you’re also the most likeable finalist (by far imo) and you had a pretty good social/physical. The positives outweigh the negatives by a ton. 

There’s not much to say when it comes to you because i feel like i’ve made my feelings very clear, i’m very proud of you as a friend and i'm impressed with your game the most. I'm excited to hopefully cast my vote for you to win and see where our friendship goes after the season is over! I do have a question or two for you too though!

Questions:

1. How do you justify voting in the minority so many times? Was it a loyalty thing? Did you just not wanna go against your word? 

2. Do you have any regrets in the game?

​​​3. Will you please finally admit the Robot Unicorn Attack music is dreadful? 

Well this was a lot longer than i intended it to be but that's all! I have been reading / will continue reading all of the other speeches / responses and i'm giving all 3 of a shot, i'm just being honest when i say Christine has the upper hand! Thank you for listening to what i had to say.

And Finally... I expect Evan Nickson and i's 703's TAR invitation to be sent out very soon. If you can’t win Legends, you might as well milk the moment and try out TAR, am i right ladies!

Ladies it’s time to get in formation & let’s get sickening!! (i wasn’t sure which intro to go with so i put them together sdfg) I want to start off by congratulating you three and It’s been so much fun playing with you three and it’s an honor to lose to y’all too :,). I literally adore and love all three of you so much but I’m not going to sit here to bore you with superficial words of encouragement so let’s just get right into it! If I come off as rude in this speech I’m sorry but that’s not my intention, I am going to just say what I feel abt your gameplays as a whole and...there’s going to be both some criticism and praise, but I rly don’t want u guys to think I don’t like any of y’all I’m just tryna gain some information on who to vote!

That being said, the jury is gonna be...really cruel to two of you. I don’t think I have to say who, since you’ll see but there are some people who are going to be harsh and I need you guys to prepare for this especially Eva. I know you can handle it but don’t be surprised.

So! Let’s do this!

This is a side-note i added in after reading ur speeches: before i get into it I wanna say I was pretty disappointed by all three of your opening statements like I’m bad @ speeches too but it really did not look like any of you tried. Either ur waiting until the jury speeches to go in-depth on your game or you literally just have...nothing to say. I hope it is the former but so far I’m really not impressed at all :(

Asa, you know I adore you with all of my heart. You’re literally an angel and it pains me to have to say anything negative about you but I promise it’s nothing too bad. I’m going to talk about your positives first, and then your negatives since I am a stan of formatting. At the final four during the rites of passage, I told you that you played a game that you didn’t give yourself credit for and I still feel that way now. You were in a power position literally all game and a key vote in many blindsides. I’m not going to lie, there were so many times where I thought a blindside would fall through because you’d feel bad and leak something but it never happened so I was honestly impressed! You proved that you could be cutthroat if you tried (@ u cutting Mr Blue who really liked you and was trying to keep you in the loop) and you didn’t have much of a social game but literally everyone adored you! This is your third time making day 39 on 703 and with your track record someone should’ve realized this was coming and done something about it so you have a lot to proud of! Another thing that I almost forgot, this season deadass everyone was an emotional wreck and I think you’re literally one of two, three people who stayed rational and didn’t let emotions influence your game and for that I give you a lot of props. As for the Negatives...your game did have some major flaws -- you were very antisocial, the move to New Zealand (despite us all being very happy for you) turned a lot of jurors off because they thought that it was insulting that you knew you weren’t going to be able to give this game your full attention, and finally many of the jurors think you were just plain inactive. Which, a lot of which, I do agree with. I love you, but I agree with the overall sentiment that your game was kinda on the weaker side. On the same token on a season where everyone was lowkey ugly to each other you stood out as someone who didn’t stoop down to that level so in that respect? Love a kind queen.

Christine, I might be a little more tough on you than the others, and I apologize in advance. I love you so much but you have more than enough stans on the jury that I’m sure you can handle a little criticism lol. I’ll begin with the positives though! Your social game is good, sis! Be proud of that! 88% of the jury adores you (yes i did some maths idk why) and yes I am included in that don’t think I’m counting myself out. You literally helped me out so much personally and made me feel better when I felt like human garbage(™) and I’m really appreciative towards that & you. You won to the end, which is great, you hella earned that FIC victory and I think that’s one of the most impressive things I’ve seen this season and you should be damn proud of that. You have literally no blood on your hands which is good. That’s good for you bc there’ll be no bitterness but that ties directly to the big negative with your game. In my opinion, a lot of the jury is blindly stanning you and that’s literally not your fault, like I said you have a good social game & no blood on your hands -- good job! My issue with your game is that from my perspective, your merge game was...really weak. You were on the right side of only three votes -- the first, the middle, and last respectively -- and as impressive as it was you survived, you didn’t survive because of your strategic or social game you survived because you weren’t rly a threat to anyone until the final five. Just in case you plan to do it, I will address the final 8 where we voted you, it wasn’t really a move against you it was more a move against the advantage u had. Now, if you had purposefully aligned with the people who kept on leaving one after the other knowing they were leaving and you were trying to get yourself an extra jury vote on the way out then that would be impressive & villainous and I lowkey would stan, but that’s not what happened. I might seem harsh and I’m sorry abt that, I adore you, but I’m trying to look at things objectively and I don’t think you’re as impressive as the rest of the jury thinks. Back to a positive if I may, although I bet you’ve over me by now, but with all that being said you never gave up sis. You were on the bottom for a lot of the merge and it’s great to see u here because u definitely have earned ur spot in the final three wig. Again I feel bad being harsh and i adore u so much but it is Time(™) to see what you’ve got! I want you to impress me--to convert me into one of ur Loyal Stans.

Eva, I feel like a broken record saying it but I adore you just like the others. Like Asa & Christine there were both positives and negatives that I’ll address with your game, but know that I love you, and personally? I’m so proud of you. You went through a lot of hardship in this game in your personal life and I give you a lot of credit for sticking it out till the end when most people wouldn’t have. I’m going to start with the positives though, just like I did for the others. I already mentioned how proud I am of you for sticking this out through everything you’ve gone through, and honestly after the Mr. Blue blindside your game improved so much. It’ll be mentioned in the negatives a little bit, but for most of the game I thought you were all bark and no bite, since you claimed during the Perry vote that you’d go off after results and then you never did, so I was a little disappointed when I first merged back up with you. But after the Mr. Blue blindside, the Eva I wanted to see came here. That take-no-bullshit attitude that I adore from you was finally here, and when you went up against Alissa in the tribe chat -- despite me being a litttttle put-off -- I was reminded of why I respected you a lot in the first place lmfao. You were an incredibly loyal player and was ready to go down the sinking ship with the rest of the Evasionaries and I respect that because unlike Christine, it’s not about you being out of the loop it’s about you picking a side and remaining loyal to that side. It’s time for the negatives tho lol I did say I’d try to be objective as possible. Since you can be abrasive, your social game was definitely...not the best. Your one-sided beef with Christine was definitely off-putting (and if you could explain your side of the story for that it’d be appreciated bc u lowkey just looked really petty & vindictive) and there were definitely moments where I thought you were all bark and no bite like I said earlier. Your tribal council answers again were kinda off-putting but reading your final tribal speech I do think it worked out for you which is why I’m brushing over it. It was off-putting, but that was the intent of it so fuck me up Eva-Maria!!!<3 Moving on, your opening speech was...a double-sided sword to me. It explained a lot of ur gameplay but threatening the jury was definitely...not the best way to go about this. It was the only speech I saw any effort go into so wig I mean I can’t say much else besides that.

When I left I told y’all to be proud of the games you played, so it may seem hypocritical of me to be so harsh but I still think you all played respectable games that you should all be proud of. Own your strengths, and likewise, own your weaknesses. I truly am immensely proud of all of you and if I could vote for all three of you I would, but I can’t! So I need to express my hesitations on voting each of you before I cast my vote to win.  I think coming into FTC as a juror you should have an open mind and my mind is open and ready to see what y’all got! If you wanna address anything in my speech you have free reign. I have no questions, but I would really like each of you to address at least *something* that was said in my speech.  I literally do not care what part of it you address, just show some fight bc reading ur opening speeches it seemed like y'all didn't have any left.

gl noms

Hey guys!

Honestly, words can’t express how surprised I am to actually be here. If you told me this was happening at the beginning of this game, odds are I probably would’ve laughed in your face. Needless to say I’m incredibly grateful to be in this position to plead my case to you guys so let’s just dive right into this!

Since the very beginning of this game I have been working so hard to keep myself safe. I was immediately put at a disadvantage after being pegged as a duo with Nick and losing him during our first vote. I was essentially told that had we lost again, I would most likely had been going so throughout all the challenges I tried my best and tried to up my social game to the best of my ability. Then once the swap hit, everything had changed as I was suddenly put in a position where I could exploit my worries about Natalie and put a target on her which in turn allowed me to finally get some stable footing in the game.

As time went on I definitely received my fair share of criticisms but no matter what feelings people expressed about me, whether it be Zak saying I’d just be playing for 2nd/3rd again, Fariha saying I’d most likely be next to go after her, Chris B. saying that I wasn’t winning and Eva’s constant remarks  towards me, I never lost the motivation to keep going in order to make it here. I’m not gonna lie, I definitely feel as though people underestimated me as seen through so many people being targeted before me such as Sam for her challenge strength but at the end of the day, that perception only furthered my drive to get here.

Keeping these things in mind, I feel like overall I did the best I possibly could have done in the three main aspects of this game:

Socially, I always tried to keep my options open and aligned myself with nearly everyone I could. I knew I couldn’t be picky with alliances once Nick left and so after his elimination I got on call with Perry and made amends while later keeping up the facade during the swaps that we weren’t close after everything that had happened. Although this didn’t pan out to well due to him leaving as early as he did, I’m sure we could’ve done some real damage as a duo no one saw coming. The only major exceptions to this would be Natalie, Zakriah and Eva. This was due to the fact I knew I could never have a working relationship with them and associating myself with them would only hinder my game. However, with this being said whenever something didn’t go my way, I made sure to never hold too much of a grudge which was especially seen after Evan’s elimination as although my closest allies had betrayed me, I knew that they had to do what was best for their game and I could never fault them for that.

Strategically, I wasn’t afraid to put myself in the line of fire. Because of my light pearl, throwing out my name was always just kind of the go to thing, especially due to the fact Eva was willingly throwing it out to people. I was willing to go to rocks for those I was close with and if we’re counting Torsa’s round, people were willing to go to rocks for me as well. I was always willing to stick my neck out for my allies, as seen through my ability to get info on the Perry vote despite not even being in the alliance chat of the visionaries + Chris N./Eddie after revealing to Evan that he was getting votes along with during the Eddie vote as I pulled him on call after hearing from Jessy that she was targeting him which later escalated into dragging Evan and Sam in as well in a last minute scramble.

This is also prominently seen after Evan’s elimination where I had even more of a fire to fight and began to stick more to my gut feelings which is why I worked so hard to keep Sam as I knew I couldn’t rely on Asa/Fitz to keep me and Alissa safe in the upcoming rounds despite them promising Alissa a final four deal with us which overall shows that each time I had lost an ally, I would always try and bounce back by creating a new game plan.

Finally physically, I put everything I had into these challenges and possibly killed any sanity I had left by staying up hours on end throughout the night to get the job done whether it be through that basketball challenge, focusing so much on Winterbells that I didn’t even realize the deadline passed or the 46 hours spent on that final endurance. I pulled through when I needed to, especially by winning those last two immunities and made the effort needed to make it to this point.

Ultimately, I feel like I did everything to the best of my ability to secure a legend status within the 703 series as I went from being a seemingly irrelevant player in Caracol, to stepping it up and making it to final tribal and getting second in Bora Bora and ultimately perfecting each and every one of my mistakes and applying them here to Legends to once again make the final 3 this time around with 0 official votes casted against me. I lived up to my title as a Survivor by defying the odds with my strategic thinking, granted a little bit of luck here and there, my physical prowess and finally social awareness.

With all this being said, I’m happy to answer any questions you guys might have for me! :)

Hello everyone, It’s Asa! I’m quite eager and nervous being here before all of you. I don’t want to make this too long and drawn out, so if you need any clarification or explanation, please don’t hesitate to ask.

-

From the very get go of this game, I felt like I should have had a large target on my back. This was a returnee season that featured players that came back because of their great performances in previous seasons. Thus, past actions played an important role in all of us being here. I made Final Tribal Council twice, and even won a game, so I was worried I would stick out. However, I managed to get to the end once again.

Physically, I managed to get through the entire pre-merge attending only one tribal council through my challenge prowess as well as my tribemates’ challenge skill. In Bora Bora, I relied on immunity wins to get to the end. Now this season, I only won one individual immunity. While it was a luck based one, it was critical for me because I had heard my name as a target at that point in time. Winning immunity not only removed the target from me, it helped me shift myself into a favorable position. I abstained a lot on challenges because I was busy with moving to New Zealand, but also because I found that I did not necessarily need to win immunity. Only needing to be immune once during merge exemplifies the fact I was able to make it to final tribal council for the third straight time based entirely on my own strategic and social merits.

Strategically, there isn’t much to say during pre-merge. Once merge came, I found myself feeling like I was in a bad position as my most trusted ally at the time, Perry, was voted off without me even knowing until the very end. I had even been considered a target afterwards. However, after I won immunity, I became allied with both the people who were considered on the outs as well as the majority, which put me in a favorable position. I can safely say I’ve voted correctly and in the majority almost every time, save for Perry and Eddie’s vote-offs.

A key move in my game was at the final 7 where I played the rock idol on Fitz. Playing an idol on yourself is easy, it guarantees you another 3 days in the game, but playing an idol for someone else is a much bolder and a much bigger move which I believe I deserve credit for. Of course, it was my allies that were able to let me know that the vote was going to be towards Fitz, but had I not established relationships with people, I would have surely messed it up.

A final key point in my game that needs to be addressed is my relationship with Fitz and why I voted them out instead of bringing my loyal ally to the final 3 with me.
They and I played similar games, working alongside each other closely. I was worried that if it were Fitz, Christine, and I at the final tribal, the votes that hopefully come my way would be split between me and Fitz, giving Christine the advantage.

Overall, I deserve to win because I put a lot of effort into this game, I juggled moving to a new country halfway around the world with playing in an extremely intense season and I did it with the strategic and social skills required to maintain my record of never being voted off.

-

Regardless of what happens at the very end of this game, I’m immensely proud of what I did, and I’m happy to be here for the third time. This season was taxing emotionally, more so than any other season I’ve been in. A huge thank you to the hosts for making such an intense game with an intense cast to boot!

hi

it me

Well let's start by addressing the elephant in the room. I don't think anyone pre-season expected me to make it here, and I'm sure during the season proper everyone here at some point didn't WANT me to make it here. I own up to the fact that I was at times unpleasant, rude, or outright mean. Even if at the time I believed I was justified in my actions, I am not the type of person who wants to make others feel bad. And I did just that. So to anyone reading this that felt personally hurt by anything I said or did this season: feel free to reach out to me for a 1 on 1 because I do want to make amends. Also this entire opening statement will be completely stream of consciousness so expect some random thoughts or otherwise incoherent things. I think it's more organic to just sit down and write what comes to mind rather than editing it all to hell. 

that said

As an advanced warning to you jurors: Yes, I intend to answer you truthfully and sincerely. I want to win, and I believe I am as deserving as the other two ladies next to me. But I absolutely will not take any of your bullshit and offer you subservient platitudes in response. If you want to come at me with some kind of self-serving or whiny crap, I will fire back at you. Ask me questions about the game, ask me why I did the things I did, ask me why I felt the need to be a massive bitch in general. You can even criticize me for the things I've said and done because I do warrant that. But if you get started on your self-victimology, to quote a Vine, I won't hesitate bitch. I'm not a fucking college student, so don't test me. You're not any better than me, don't pretend you are and I won't pretend I don't deserve judgement for things I've done. We're all equals here and if I'm gonna willing to get down from my high horse to accept critcism and admit wrongdoing, I expect the same from the lot of you. So don't try it.

Alright with all of THAT out of the way...I'm not one of those people who writes up an entire five page essay on every minute detail of their game. I find it boring and tedious to write and also read. I'll give you the outline of my mindset going into this season, the things that shook me, and how I got here. Everything in between that you want to know about can be asked, I'm sure.

So going into this season I knew I had a Reputation (TM). Every returnee season I've been in I was targeted instantly at early jury or merge, or premerged. Because I was seen as a big social threat, someone with a bunch of friends in the community who could get far effortlessly. Needless to say, I was worried the same would happen here. I wanted more than anything to make it far this season so when I submitted my app, I sat down and thought long and hard about how to avoid my reputation.

I'm sure you can see where this is heading.

Yep, instead of social, always friendly and loyal Eva, I decided to pull a Look What You Made Me Do and became EVIL (TM). Not REALLY but I did make the decision to drastically alter my social game. I became incredibly confrontational in my tribal answers, I deliberately antagonized the Visionaries (which contained most of my friends from outside of the game), I was loud-mouthed and overly opinionated yet when it came time to discuss strategy I retreated into my hollow shell. I avoided the limelight and desperately tried to let anyone else make the big moves. And it's a testament to how enduring my reputation was because even after that, I was still a major target at all three of the first merge votes. 

I KNOW that had I not taken the measures I did and played completely contrary to my usual instincts, I would not have made it this far and probably wouldn't have even broken double digits. I NEEDED to be someone that 1. could be beaten and 2. could be predicted. Everyone knew what I was about this entire season because I never hid it! I was upfront about who I wanted to work with (Toby/Zak, then Eddie/Christine/Jessy, then ChrisB/Torsa/Evan/Alissa, then Torsa and Jessy, and finally Asa and Fitz) so nobody ever had any reason to see me as a big strategic or social threat. And in challenges I didn't really need to try to make myself look weak because I already am lmfao. 

It was hard. It didn't FEEL organic. I had to consitently tell myself. "Don't message X first, they'll tell their allies that you're being very social." "Call this thing out in your tribal answer, that will make people think you're nuts" "Say this shady thing to this person because you know they'll tell it to the person it's about" Those are all things that I would never normally do but well...i felt that I had to. Plus it was fun and entertaining, for me and apparently to some others. I enjoyed doing it because deep down inside we all want to let our id run free. It's liberating. And at times, I lost control. The thing is that when you make the decision to be an open book, not everything in the book is gonna make people happy. Sometimes it rubs people the wrong way or even hurts their feelings. After that, the best you can do is own up to it and try to make amends. No one's perfect, but it's worth it to at least try to be. 

So...Say what you want about my game this season, that I was a mess, that I was a floater...but goddamn, it actually worked. Like I'm still shocked that I'm here. After I came so close to making the end in Socotra, I wanted more than anything to get to FTC on 703. I was absolutely devastated when I failed in HvV...but I DID IT! I fucking managed to claw my way to the end even when a massive fucking curveball knocked me sideways IRL at final 7. I even found an idol! Me! I never find idols in like anything ever but this season it happened. Like...I am still shook by that. 

I couldn't be prouder of myself. Because I'm not just here for me. I'm here for Austin, who was so devastated by his elimination he left for good. For Zak, who I stuck by to the bitter end and who went out hoping I could survive even one more round. For Chris and Torsa, who I adore beyond words. For Fariha, who warned everyone about me and Jessy and who was the first person of many to write my name down. For everyone who thinks you can't completely reinvent yourself and find success in it. 

So yeah, that's my opening statement. Maybe I was a floating, mean spirited, vindictive bitch this season. In fact, I'm pretty certain I was all of those things. But I am nontheless happy with my performance this season. I've had the highest highs and the lowest lows. I've made new friendships, new enemies, and everything in between. And I've made Final 3 out of 24 players, out of over 100 applicants. This season was hell and high water to get through, and none of us made it through unscathed. But it's nearly over, and I'm ready to see what you all have to say about me in your questions. No matter what though, I have the biggest smile on my face as I write this because through everything, I've come out at the end of the tunnel wtih my head held high.

Will: I’m guessing life was busy for you, hope you’re doing okay

Nick: I think we have a lot in common and you’re a really fun guy. I really didn’t want anyone in our tribe to go, I’m sorry it ended up being you that left.

Annabelle: We never got to talk in-game, I hope you’re doing alright ?

Toby: I wish we got to talk, you’re always a pleasant presence in the games we’ve played, except in Malakal, you scared me dfgh

Ally: We never got to talk in-game sadly, but you’re an icon and scared the hell out of me when we played Canadienne Jamaica together, whew!

Wendy: I was really excited seeing you on the cast because while we’ve played After the Dark together and you’ve hosted me, we’ve never played a Survivor game together. I wish you stayed longer in the game, it sucks that we never really got to cross paths.

Blaine: One of my closest allies at this point of the game! You were very nice and cool and pleasant to talk to. Honestly, maybe we could have talked more but that’s my bad! I felt like I could trust you and we have Henry as a common friend. We kind of just clicked! I wish the rock hadn’t taken you out of the game, I was a little bit devastated when I saw you were the one that left, but such was the luck of the draw.

Natalie: You’re very interesting as a player, I definitely enjoyed our talks. I was glad to be allied with you, I wish you stayed in the game longer.

Fariha: We never got to talk in-game, but I’ve heard very nice things about you ❤

Austin: We also never got to talk in-game, though I have wanted to because you seem like someone with similar interests as I do.

Zakriah: I wish we could’ve played more together, it was very very fun being on the same tribe and winning all the immunities, I hope life is treating you nicely.

Perry: Throughout this entire game (save for the times we weren’t on the same tribe) up until this point, you were the one I had talked to the most in the entire game, and I really enjoyed our talks even though I was probably boring and lame! While I was upset that I ended up getting blindsided on when you were voted out, I can understand why people wouldn’t have wanted to tell me about the plan to vote you out, because I definitely would not have written your name down.

Eddie: I really wanted to work with you, you’re very nice, but it sucked that we ended up on the opposite ends.

Chris N: Not gonna lie, from when we first played together in Sri Lanka, you still intimidate me to this day. We never really talked because I was scared and also we just never happened to be on the same side of the game, but I’m glad we both have the same stance on Trump! Hopefully you continue to do well in your studies sdhfjg

Chris B: When we first swapped together, I was genuinely intimidated by you. I had never played a game with you, but I knew from just seeing you around the community that you’re someone who isn’t afraid to speak up and get into fights, which I found very admirable. It almost seemed like you were the opposite of me. I found out from talking to you that you’re really, really nice. I was treated undeservedly nice by you, I think

Evan: Other than you being a friend of Priscilla, I didn’t really know what to expect from you. I’ve now found out that you’re really quirky and funny, and also busy with life, which ended up being a deterrence from us talking.

Torsa: You’re like a sister to me. Despite everything that’s happened, I enjoyed being able to talk to you and play a game with you again. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart as a good friend, and I hope life treats you better because you deserve nice things!

Jessy: Seeing you was interesting because whew, throwback to EMBB! Kudos to you for being honest with yourself after the game ended. I wish we got to know each other better, I really appreciate that you talked to me all those times. I wouldn’t mind if we could talk again after all this.

Sam: You’re so friendly and nice and INTIMIDATING because of how amazing I think you’ve played the game, I really enjoyed rabbitting with you that one time, and I enjoyed the conversations we had that weren’t even about the game.

Alissa: I opened up to you a lot about my personal things, and it was just really nice that we could relate to each other and talking to you helped me a little in finding out what I should do about my own future. I’m sorry about how bad I was in following up conversations, and that I was just really bad at approaching you, but I’m really glad we got to play a game together.

Will: Aww, Will coming into this you were one of the people I was most excited to meet cause I remember watching you play a couple seasons and I just thought you were amazing. It’s never fun being first boot and I’m really sorry you went so early but I hope you still had fun!

Nick: NICK CITY, MY LOVE! My partner in crime of the season. Your vote was by far the biggest shock for me, we knew something was up and there was only so much we could do but I was so happy to be by your side through it all. I’m not gonna lie when I saw our chat for the first time I lowkey thought you were another host since you hosted me in my last two so I legit freaked out (in a good way) knowing I was gonna get the chance to play with you. Despite us getting pegged as a duo fairly early I wouldn’t have changed that for the world cause although we were a hot mess most of the time, I couldn’t have asked for a better #1. Your impact on this season has honestly been one of the most amazing things and I hope I’m making you proud. Love you. <3

Annabelle: My Caracol Queen, I was so excited to see you play again because you were such an icon in our first season (even if you did blindside me, I still love you though). Your literally one of the sweetest people and I’m so sorry your experience was short lived, I’m sure you really could’ve caused a lot more chaos this season.

Toby: Oh gosh, Toby I’m not gonna lie when I saw you on the cast reveal I was a little intimidated. Looking back on our history in Bora Bora it made me nervous because you were by far one of the sneakiest players and our relationship was always pretty complex. With that being said I was really sad to see you go so soon :(

Ally: WHEW, I can only imagine how stressful it was playing this and Hallasan at the same time. I never had the chance of meeting you but I just wanna congratulate you on your win and with what I heard you tried to pull you certainly made quite an impact!

Wendy: Another person I was excited to play with but never got the chance of meeting. You seem really nice and I’m sorry you went out the way you did.

Blaine: OH BLAINE. Honestly I think the way you left was gonna be the only possible way of you going. From what I saw in our original tribe you were a social king and although I wasn’t too big of a fan of the moves you made during that phase you were definitely a strategic force to be reckoned with! With all that being said I really did enjoy meeting you!

Natalie: Oh my gosh Natalie I really do have to apologize because you honestly really got screwed over with that swap. You were so sweet but you were definitely trying to cause a lot of trouble behind the scenes which terrified me. With that being said I adore you and I’m still lowkey not over that burger…

Fariha: Literally the definition of a sweetheart. I personally adore you and your vote was another hard one because you were just so nice and didn’t deserve the fate you got. I’m so proud of you for not going down without a fight <3

Austin: Another person who got messed up by the swap. Austin I’m literally so sorry cause you were so sweet and I really did enjoy our talks. Your somebody I feel like I really connected with and I tried to push the vote in another direction early on but when it came down to you and Chris I just had to vote your way and I’m so sorry because you really did fight your heart out and your dedication and passion for the season really showed. You really are amazing.

Zak: Oh boy...First of all I do wanna start off by apologizing. We didn’t really talk all that much which was my bad and you definitely had no problem calling me out on that. Who knows, maybe all the statements you made on your way out will come true again but we’ll see. I really do hope we can talk things out once the seasons over cause I know I got kinda heated after that happened and said some things I regret but if not I’ll totally understand.

Perry: I’m not gonna lie I’m not entirely sure where to begin this tbh. I can definitely see how you were able to win your season, you’re just so damn charming and so smart. We definitely didn’t get off on the right foot but I really did appreciate your honesty throughout the rest of the game. The fact you were able to avoid tribal so many times and even to go to rocks is just even more of a testament to your game. I’m happy that we were able to put things past us and I wish we coul’ve been an iconic duo that no one would’ve seen coming but alas, it just wasn’t meant to be. Regardless of that you really are amazing. Also...I might still be a little bitter at you since I never got those poptarts :(

Eddie: You sneaky little devil! When I get back to MA I’m taking you up on your threat from before the season and coming to find you just to clock your ass cause I couldn’t say anything to you without it getting told to someone whether it be personal or strategic which honestly I’ll admit was pretty hilarious at times but that’s not letting you off the hook!!! In all seriousness you know how much I adore you and I enjoyed us being an unpredictable duo once that swap hit. Being an honorary trickster with you for a bit was so much fun and I’m glad we were able to cause some chaos together. I’ve been really missing our calls so I can’t wait to talk to you again soon!

Chris N. Alright literally one of my favorite moments of this season was us going on call freaking out not knowing that we both voted for Perry that round and thinking that we were gonna have to try and apologize to each other. We love a hot mess! You were definitely unpredictable throughout the course of this game and when I heard you were leaking info like my idol clue at the start of merge I wasn’t even sure how much I could trust you but we made it work regardless as we were always pretty much on the same page with things, which was awesome! With that being said, you were by far one of the funniest people I had the chance of meeting this season as our calls always left me with my cheeks actually hurting from laughing so much so thank you for being such a bright light in this game and also another major thank you for giving me immunity the round you left whew.

Chris B. Honestly the visionaries were just filled with people I adored and you were no exception. You were (for the most part) so sweet to me and I just wanna thank you for always trying to sort of have my back whether it was genuine or not and I’m so sorry I couldn’t do the same for you. I really did wanna help you get to single digits but there was just no way of making that happen but no matter what I love you so much and I will always admire you for always being your upfront self.

Evan: MY ROBBED KING! I was beyond ecstatic seeing you on this cast and I was really hoping we’d be able to meet up during one of the swaps or something but it NEVER happened which honestly was really annoying but we definitely made up for that during the merge that’s for sure. You’re by far one of the smartest/strategic players I’ve ever gotten the chance to play with and I just wanna thank you so much for putting up with my insanity again and helping me try and embrace my inner alpha and everything (Well...sort of at least). Your constant words of advice and encouragement were always so sweet and they’ve definitely kept me going so I guess what I’m trying to say throughout all of this is that I love you so much and I’m sorry we couldn’t make things work this time around...However, with all that being said I’m still gonna take a little solace in being 2-0 against you for now ;)

Torsa: Forever the Joey to my Mai. I’m not gonna lie I wasn’t shocked to see you cast but I was for sure intimidated, especially with everything that went down in Bora Bora. Regardless of everything that happened this season you’re such a Queen and I’m so happy we were able to put everything aside because I adore you and I hope we can talk more after the seasons over!

Jessy: AHHHHH, literally where do I even begin with you. When I saw we were together during the swap I went to you immediately and we went over all the chaos that had happened to both of us and our relationship grew from there. One of the funniest things for me this season was just freaking out on call with Eddie cause everytime we desperately needed you, you’d be offline and it kinda just became a trend. I do wanna apologize because once merge hit we definitely started having our ups and downs and one of my biggest regrets in this game was not being more upfront with you. No matter what that doesn’t change the fact that I love you to pieces.

Sam: MOM! Honestly if it wasn’t for you I don’t even know if I’d even be playing these games and I’m not sure if I’ve ever properly thanked you for that so I just wanna say thank you for always taking a chance on me. I was so happy to have gotten the chance to play with you this season and I loved us actually being able to work together. You always put in 100% throughout this season and it always showed which is something I seriously admire. Thank you for always being there for me during the highs and lows. After this season I’m definitely challenging you to a maverick bird off, I’ve been practicing so get ready >:)

Alissa: Alright if Evan’s the king, you're definitely my Queen. I appreciated you so much throughout this game like you have no idea. I feel like for the most part we were always on the same page and strategizing with you was always just such an amazing experience cause you always had all these crazy ideas and moves that you wanted to pull off and it was just so impressive. You were always so sweet and our talks always brightened up my day. I really wish you were still here cause you truly owned this season and I just couldn’t be more proud of you. I’m so grateful to have met you and I can’t wait for this to be over so I can talk to you again but for now I’ll leave you with this cause it popped into my head while writing this and made me think of you so enjoy xoxo <3 https://youtu.be/CC_Y4zOUdcI

Toby - MY KING!!!! TOBY I MISS U SM AND I CANT WAIT TO TALK TO U POST-SEASON.  I miss talking to u about Black Mirror and I hope you’re doing great<3. You’re literally my only regret this season in terms of a vote so after the season i'll apologize king and I hope u can forgive me.

Ally - ALLY I WISH I COULD’VE PLAYED WITH U AGAIN!! We STAN the anti-bitch squad in my house and I would’ve absolutely loved to play w/ u again.  Again from what I heard they did you SO wrong but You’re an absolute legend ily<3

Wendy - WENDUUUUU IM A STAN!!  Ilysm and i was SO upset that you got booted so early i would have loved to be able to finally play with you!! Ur boot was SO tragic from what i heard and i’m so sorry they did u like that :,(  No but you know my thoughts on you you're one of my better friends from the community and i just love u sm<3333333

Blaine - i stan u blaine.  That’s all i know. Only respect for the TRE community in my house.

Natalie - Nat<3333 another anti-bitch squad member and i’m a stan!! ur a gorgeous human being n i wish u all the best ;_; also ur manga is gorgeous tbfh whoever made it did a phenomenal job !!

Austin - i don’t know u @ all king but torsa liked u a lot so u are A+ in my book.

Zakriah - KING ZAK!  I’m not gonna lie, in this game I considered u my pre-merge adversary since I feel like we were always lowkey targeting each other lskdfj. I love u still though and ur probably gonna be one of my favorites outside the game and i hope we can be friends bc ngl ur amazing <33  I hope ur doing well whew

Perry - PERRY!!!!  I MISS U SM MY DUDE SDSDFG.  I do still think they did u dirty and I’m going to stand by that no matter what u deserved so much better.  I’m sorry i didn’t listen to u @ the time that u were being blindsided but i hopes u can forgive my naivety if that is how u spell the word.  You were the first person in this game that I felt secure playing with and thank you for having my back even tho i was a MESS.  [abi voice: at least u made jury!!] I'm rly happy you got to make it to the merge though since u rly wanted to make an iconic speech!! I love n have literally sm respect for u tho Perry aah I hope i made u somewhat proud skdf<33 After this season is over join Torsa & I on a rabbit date and let’s talk rupaul bby

Eddie - Eddie!! We didn’t know each other very long but i really did like getting to know you and I’m not gonna lie i was kinda intimidated @ first but you ended up being so chill and sweet and it was so nice meeting you skdf<3 I'm not going to lie I really wanted to work with you [you: SO WHY DID U VOTE ME OUT??] but hearing how u told everyone whatever I told u and how u were hardcore targeting me kinda turned me off skdfs.  Your exit was also so sweet and it made me so happy to see that not everyone took this game so personally so i respect it so much

Chris NL - my boi i hope u and andreas are still talking n having a good time that’s probably the funniest thing that’s happened this season to me and I still find it absolutely hilarious/insane.  From what I’ve been told you think I don’t like you & if that is true I’m also assuming u don’t like me but i wanted to take the time to smash that from my end at least.  I wish we had spoken more during the game, i rly do.

Mr. Blue - Mr. Blue my boy!! For what it is worth, this season would not have been the same w/o you and I had a lot of fun meeting + playing with you.  I’m not gonna lie there were some times when in the context of this game I couldn’t stand you and you told me the same so it’s all good over here I have a lot of respect for u and I hope everything is going well<3!  P.S. I hope we can play some fortnite post-season again bc that was literally so much fun

Evan - My bromosexual…..<3  I mean knowing how close u are with Alissa i assume @ this point u hate me too but I really did enjoy getting to know you and we have so much in common and I’d love to also be friends outside of the game.  Again you were someone who I was intimidated by just the prospect of playing with them at first but seeing how chill and awesome you were was such a pleasant surprise.  Porzingod will come back and when he is trash i give u full permission to slide into my dms and trash-talk since it’ll be warranted. komaeda is still trash af tho

Torsa - LADIES N GENTLEMEN MY MOTHER !!  I fucking love u sm Torsa you’re literally my one of my best friends ever and I’m so grateful to have been able to grow so close wiht you over this Legends experience.  I know that there’s a lot of bad feelings connected to this season but if there’s one thing i’mma treasure it’s how close we were able to become.  Like I can’t pander to the jury so i’m kinda grateful u been removed so i can just talk about how much i love u n write a essay.  In my opinion u r perfect and i love love love love you w/ all of my heart and I can’t wait to be able to freely talk to u once this season is over and we can just rant and not have to worry abt being backstabbed by each other skdfg.  

Jessy - Yousef strategic king!  Day one you were my #1 and honestly seeing our journey and how it changed and how our time together ended is kinda iconic?  Our relationship in this game felt like a roller coaster where at first we were high, and then at the merge there was a drop, and then through the Eddie-Evan votes we went back up and then we officially dropped to the bottom during Torsa's ejection lmfao.  I hope you’re not too upset with me but I absolutely adore you as a person and you’re a great player and aaah i have so much respect for u i can’t stand it<3 I hope we can talk and be friends post-season bc ur literally a legends. Miss u buttercup.

Sam - SAM!! I miss our rabbit dates so frickin’ much u have no idea (i think u still owe me big hero 6 once this season ends tho) and you’re, in my opinion, a top tier player.  I told you to your face that I considered you the best social player in this game and I genuinely meant that.  I am so happy to get to have played w/ you and work with you even if it was only for a little while despite me being terrified of playing w/ u in the merge ;_;  I genuinely went into the merge FEARING your game but i’m glad i got over that and ily<3  Miss u blossom bby

Alissa - I really don’t know what to say except that I’m sorry.  You probably don’t wanna hear me say anything about how much I love & adore you or how happy I am to have met you in this game and I don’t blame you.  All I’ll say is that I’m sorry and if we could be friends outside of this game I’d love that bc I genuinely thought of you as my best friend in this game.  If not I completely understand and respect that, too.  It was literally just what I thought was best for my game and not in any way shape or form personal but again i can see why you’d think otherwise.

WILL while we never got a chance to play together I was excited to see you on the cast. I loved Carthage as a season and your gameplay and VLs were a part of that. It sucks that you went first but honestly going first in an All Stars season is pretty legit. And you'll always have your Clueless manga to fall back on :v

NICK my Socotra brethren <3 Your elimination ignited so much shit in this game omg. It was kind of a big deal and was part of why I initially aligned with Christine because we both felt motivated for vengeance (I thought at the time at least). Definitely a robbed player in this season.

ANNA there's no need for me to describe how awesome I think you are. Your elimination really upset and annoyed me, I wanted to play with you and seeing you get premerged again was ass. My first tribal rant this season was basically dedicated to you and I hope you enjoyed it <3

TOBY losing you this season was so hard. Day 1 I said I wanted to work with you and Zak the most and the game just completely fell apart for us. I adore you to pieces and having to vote you out sucked utterly. The fact that we were considered a close duo after Belize and Cyprus though is that relationship development <3 . I'm glad we've come so far after those days. I hope I did do our crackedt ass final 3 alliance some justice by making it this far !

ALLY my Hallysan child <3 There isn't a whole lot to say, I respect the hell out of you for moving immediately from that hard fought win to this hellish season. Even if you didn't make it that far you still popped off and I think you should be proud of yourself.

WENDY the skinny legend. I really can't say anything about us in this game but you know I respect and admire you, had you made it to the end this season I'm sure I would've found myself voting you to win just as I did in BARAS. What a robbery for the Kpop fan to be voted out premerge in the South Korea season SMH

BLAINE your elimination had me feeling conflicted! Rock draws are always exciting if hella unnerving to be a part of (I've been on the bad end of them before myself in BAR). I wasn't sure if I should root for you or against you bc I was definitely wary of the Visionaries but I was also worried about you and Perry from Christine so ! It's really hard to say, you and I didn't have a relationship in this game but your elimination gave me some Complex Feels.

NATALIE my queen ugh. That tribe was so lit at the time and having to send someone home was horrible. The fact that it was you came down purely to the fact that you were part of the group that voted out Nick and my desire to work with Christine over y'all. The burger meme is still one of the best things to come out of this season and you still have your near-perfect win so really if I were you I would be pretty high on myself regardless of going premerge.

FARIHA living legend. Your vote out sucked! No two ways about it. Your callout was epic, you really tagged me and Jessy as a duo. We were, at the time, so you got that shit down as everyone knew you would. Underrated legend, you came into this season with less reputation than most and despite going premerge I think you proved yourself. You really were a strong player and someone that I wouldn't have wanted to face later on down the road.

AUSTIN this was tough. You're probably not reading this bc you left the community but your voteout was hard. I'm glad I was able to vote with you, I know that made you feel better for me and Zak to have your back. I did try to nudge the vote away from you but I wasn't able to and I chose to believe that my alliance would stay true to their word. See more on that later, but for now I feel horrible that you managed to force a rock draw and come out on top of that just to get swapfucked. You really deserved better this season.

ZAK this was probably the vote that cemented my status as the raving insane homeless woman of this season. I was SO ANGRY that everyone reneged on the plan just bc you were friends with Torsa. UGH that single moment cemented everything I hate about this season. Pregame assumptions, needless lying, backstabbing, and shutouts. The fact that you went home still makes me mad to this day and I hope my continued, annoying presence in this game gives you some small satisfaction.

PERRY we bonded pretty quickly at the merge over some shared interests. Honestly I heard not-great things about you from Tori but tbh I don't really see any of them as true? You seemed pretty cool from our discussions and you asking me if my tribal answer was about you was straightforward and I liked that we could discuss if frankly. I'm not sure what you think of me, if it's positive I'm glad because it's reciprocal. If it's negative then hopefully we can patch that up post-game.

EDDIE my Darbie twin <3 When we swapped together I was all-in on working with you, Christine, and Jessy. Sadly you guys decided against working with me. I'm not sure what happened but at the Zak vote I genuinely felt like y'all cold-shouldered me and decided to move on in the game completely without me. I know you wanted me out at the first merge vote and then obviously at the second I was your final target. It sucks because we both wanted to do better than early merge boots after BARAS but hopefully we can figure out what went wrong, either when I'm at ponderosa, at jury questions, or post game.

CHRIS N what a wild ride we had. I honestly talked to you about things I really haven't said to anyone else on this cast (details about my old job being one of them) yet in the context of the game we just could not get on the same page. We voted Perry out, but besides that I voted for you at literally every chance I got. It's the kinda thing that in the moment doesn't seem that bad but I do feel kinda bad about. You took it well, and now I've been on the receiving end of a million votes so I've got my comeuppance :v.

CHRIS B you know how I feel about you. You're one of my best friends in this community and I really could've give half a shit what anyone has to say about you nor what they think of you. And that's tea.

EVAN I'm conflicted. On one hand, I genuinely like you and wanted to work with you really badly this season. On the other hand, we never really talked one on one and your betrayal made me incredibly mad because of how it made Chris and Tori feel. I have respect for you, as a person wholly independent of this game. But in the context of this game I really can't think of a single nice thing to say about you. I'll discuss your flip in Alissa's entry so scroll there if you care to.

TORSA see above @Chris B in general. But I'll never forget our bond this season. Before we played together, I saw you as a casual acquaintance and someone I occasionally played games with. After Legends I can truly call you my friend and you know if you ever need someone to talk to or just be there for you I'm here.

JESSY there's a LOT to unpack with you and me. We started out this season not quite on the same page. Then we swapped together and I think we became really close and worked together well. I was all-in on working with not only our duo but with Eddie and Christine as well. And it fell apart at the second swap. I felt like you abandoned me for greener pastures with Eddie and Sam. And I felt alone after Zak went home and you didn't come to me with the fact that Eddie was targeting me. I really felt saddened by what I felt was a complete abandonment from you, Eddie, and Christine because, maybe foolishly, I truly believed in our group. We always had this informal agreement to not vote for each other and I can walk out of this game knowing I stayed true to it. You lied to me basically the whole game but I still kept coming back to you, trying to make it work. I'm not guilting you, I'm just saying that when I say I've told the truth this whole game, I really do mean it.

SAM it comes as utterly no surprise to anyone that we had some uderlying tension after Hallasan. But we cleared that up pretty quickly and oddly enough besides Torsa you were probably the person in this game I had the most enjoyable talks with. Strategically, we had nothing going on outside of random coincidences. Obviously there's a problem and that's my absence during your voteout. In case anyone is wondering, no I did not intentionally self-vote nor did I disappear to avoid playing my idol. I genuinely had an important event to attend to and wasn't able to return. That said, I will clarify: in the end, I would not have played the idol on you had I been there. I simply would not have been able to take the risk and put Fitz and Asa in danger just to add a flashy move to my resume. In the end, our relationship in this game was....complicated, at best. But I think we both came out with a higher opinion of each other after Hallasan which I'm very happy with.

ALISSA. I honestly do feel bad because I feel like you received a lot of indirect fire from my frustrations with other players and this game. It's not really fair and you have pretty much every right to be mad. I'm enough of an adult to admit wrongdoing, so I know I took things too personally this season and was overmuch retaliatory, but I still think I received criticism for speaking my mind in public the way others do in private. In-game, I enjoyed our brief period of being able to work together and part of my frustration with your flip was the loss of the fun dynamic we had as a fivesome. After being betrayed and left on my own entering the merge, actually being part of a group and having allies was a good feeling and losing that again sucked. So I blamed you and Evan and unsurprisingly I went after both of you. If you think I'd ever be motivated by anything Chris said on call, or anything outside of my own emotional responses or agendas, you would have to ignore the way I've played this entire game.